Frog Prince Bear Behaving Badly


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Frog Prince

Comedy series. Barney eats Crazy Keith's spaghetti bolognese and promptly turns into a frog. Nev and Keith try to convince Barney that being a frog might not be that bad.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

Morning, Mr Barney, sir!

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Oh, hey, Mr Prank!

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You scared me.

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Oh, sorry about that. You're just in time for the demonstration

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of the new Suck Monster 5 Million, the ultimate in cleaning

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and the must-have accessory for every modern executive caretaker - moi.

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Who...? I'm sorry. What?

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Oh, a new vacuum cleaner, right.

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So what happened to the old one?

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Oh, Bertha? Well, she was good in her day, sir, but...

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..I think it's time for her to retire.

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No kidding.

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The Suck Monster is all you need, sir.

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And, to prove it,

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let's have a look at some of the more common stains

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we'll find inside the block.

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Here we have coffee,

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chewing gum, ketchup,

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sticky toffee pudding.

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CLANG! And...

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worst of all, sir,

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blue bear hair...

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Atchoo!

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..which always sets me allergies off, sir.

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-Well, I can see you're busy...

-So are you going to stay

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-for the demonstration, sir?

-Actually, I've got to...

-Excellent!

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Whoa...!

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WHOOSHING

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ITALIAN ACCENT: I, crazy Keith,

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am-a the greatest Italian chef ever!

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Hey, Nevvio, I think-a the spaghetti is-a nearly ready.

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And you know it is-a ready when it-a sticks to the wall.

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KEITH HUMS

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Ah! I couple of minutios more, methinks, Nevvio!

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Nevvio!

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Ta-da!

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-Here I am!

-Ciao, Nevvio! You crazy bear! What's-a da matter with you?

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You are making the mess!

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Oh.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Ah, don't you worry! Barney won't be pleased with the mess,

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but once he tastes my spectacular spaghetti...

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Mwah! ..the mess, he will forget-ti! Ha-ha!

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Yum-yum!

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There we are, sir, look at that. Perfect, eh?

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Yes, quite impressive. The Suck Monster 5 Million's sucked

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-everything up.

-Yeah.

-Including my shoe.

-Oh, yes, sorry about that.

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Got a bit carried away.

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It's a bit powerful, isn't it?

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Oh, yes, sir. You say that, but that was only level 1.

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WHOOSHING

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Right, I guess I'll leave you to it.

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Argh...!

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Oh, that was close!

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Oh, something smells good! What's for dinner?

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-BOTH:

-Duck!

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I love duck - it's my favourite...

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food.

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Right, so when you said "duck",

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you meant "watch out", not, like, "quack, quack" duck. Good.

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Yeah-yeah. Sorry, Barney.

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Never mind. I like spaghetti.

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Oh, I tell you what,

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you two made a mess, but, Keith, you make a fantastic spaghetti.

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Oh, wackada-doo!

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-I'm going to get changed. You two clean this mess up, please.

-OK.

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AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: It's the oregano that makes it so tasty.

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-That's a herb, Nevvy.

-Ooh la la!

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BUBBLING

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Uh-oh. Oh...

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-Duck!

-Now, do you mean "duck" as in...?

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BOOM!

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Maybe there was a little too much oregano.

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-What happened?

-Er...

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nothin'.

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Barney,

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Barney green.

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Yeah, actually I don't feel very well, Nev.

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I've got a bit of a frog in the throat.

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Ribbit!

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GROANING AND RETCHING

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SPLASHING

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Dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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It was probably something he ate...

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something ELSE he ate. My spaghetti was bonzer.

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Ribbit! Bleuch! Oh! Nev, that spaghetti did not agree with me.

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Oh... I'm going to go for a lie-down. Oh!

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Oh!

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-Oh...

-Ribbit!

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Oh!

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Barney...

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Barney?

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Barney?

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Huh?

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Hey, Nev. Ribbit!

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Confused.

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I'm feeling really weird, guys.

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But...where are you, Barney, buddy?

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Hello?

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Hmm.

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Nothing.

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-Strange...

-Nev, can you turn the light on?

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I can't see a thing.

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THEY GASP

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But...what...?

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-Ah, that's better!

-THEY GASP

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There you are.

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THEY GULP

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Have you two got a lot taller?

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-Ribbit!

-THEY SCREAM

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Oh, being a frog's not that bad, Barney, mate.

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I think it kinds of suits you.

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It suits me?!

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I mean, green...is a nice colour.

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-Keith...

-Brings out your eyes.

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-Keith...

-Don't worry. If my spaghetti turned you into a frog,

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I'm sure it'll be really easy to fix. KEITH LAUGHS

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It's kind of funny when you think about it!

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BARNEY GULPS

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OK, too soon for the laughing.

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Oh, in the meantime,

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I've found someone for you to talk to.

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"Hello, Barney! My name's Croaky the frog. Would you be my friend?"

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-Keith, what's small, green and about to lose his temper?

-I love these!

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-Don't tell me, don't tell me!

-Keith, go away.

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See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!

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Oh.

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Make a lovely spaghetti. Does anyone say thanks?

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No. Turn one person into a frog and suddenly you're Mr Unpopular.

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WHIRRING

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-NEV HUMS

-Yum-yum!

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-FLY BUZZES

-R-R-R-R!

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Love you, Barney.

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I love you too, Nev. I'm sorry I shouted at Keith.

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I'm just stressed by this whole being a frog thing.

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Ah, never mind. Hungry?

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Oh, yeah. I'm starving!

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-FLY BUZZES

-R-R-R-R!

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Hmm.

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-Fly.

-BARNEY GULPS

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Oh...

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-Oh!

-Yucky.

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I just ate a fly! Eugh!

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-BARNEY BURPS

-Things CAN'T get any worse!

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-< MR PRANK:

-Mr Barney, sir!

-KNOCKING

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I knew as soon as I said that I'd regret it.

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-Hello, Mr Angry Pants!

-Out of my way, bear!

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I'm not here to see you!

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Atchoo!

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I thought you might like to see the rest of my vacuum demonstration,

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Mr Barney...sir. ..Where is he?

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-Ah!

-BARNEY GULPS

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I hate frogs.

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I have done ever since one stole my bike when I was a kid.

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Confused.

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Oh, I'll soon sort this, though.

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This is a job for...

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# Dum-dum-dah! #

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..the Suck Monster 5 Million.

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-Uh-oh.

-I'm off.

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-Wait!

-Move, bear!

-No!

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I wanna get that frog!

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Maximum power.

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So long, froggy!

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MR PRANK CACKLES

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Oh, yeah!

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Oh, I tell you, Doris, I'm getting too stressed out

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about this whole turning Barney into a frog thing.

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What I need are a few nice bubbles

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and a bit of time to relax. Ah, yeah.

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Ah, that's doing the trick.

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Ah!

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DISTANT CACKLING

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What the...? Ah...!

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Ooh!

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Ah!

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Whoa!

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Maybe maximum power wasn't such a good idea!

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Barney! Barney!

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Hide! Oh!

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Dear, oh dear.

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-WHOOSHING INCREASES

-Barney! Barney! Hide!

-Ah...!

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Barney! Barney! Lost.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Froggy! Come to Andy!

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Oh, wackadoo! Oh!

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I'm gonna feel seasick.

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Oh! Nevvy!

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Leave it alone, bear! You'll break it!

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Oh!

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Oh...!

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Socks! Socks!

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N-N-No!

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-HE CACKLES

-Sorry about that!

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Whoa!

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-Argh...!

-Kissy, kissy!

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Snuggly ducky duck-duck! N-N-No!

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R-R-R-R!

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As much as I'd like you to,

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don't eat the bear, Suck Monster. It'll block you up

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and you'll never work again!

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Ah! Oh!

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Ah...! CRASH!

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Wackadoo!

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Stop clogging my frog-catching cleaner, you blue nuisance!

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-Ah...!

-CRASH!

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Oh.

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I've got it under control now.

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-Ah, there it is.

-Ribbit!

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Trying to hide under the sofa, eh?

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-N-N-No!

-Out the way, bear!

-THWACK!

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Froggy!

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That'll teach that frog!

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Oh.

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Ah... You're good, Mr Prank. You're very good.

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-Oh...

-So, bear, where did you say Mr Barney was?

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Never mind.

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MR PRANK CACKLES

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Oh! Tell Mr Barney to pop round and I'll finish showing him

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my vacuum demonstration.

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I've got to grips with it now.

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MR PRANK CACKLES

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Barney gone...!

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NEV SNIFFS AND SOBS

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-Nev, it's all right. I'm down here. Look. I'm fine.

-Barney!

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Hey-hey! Sorry for frightening you, mate,

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but I knew Mr Prank wasn't gonna stop until he got a frog,

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so he's just sucked up Croaky, Keith's wind-up friend.

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-Phew-ee!

-Too right. That was a close one. But I'm still a frog.

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What am I gonna do, Nev?

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Hmm...

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-Why have I got my eyes closed again?

-So it doesn't spoil the surprise.

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I've had enough of your surprises today, Keith, thank you.

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OK, you can open your eyes now. ..Nev?

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Ta-da!

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MUSIC PLAYS That's right, Barney!

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You've got your very own froggy paradise!

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It's lily pads aplenty and all the flies you can eat.

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For company, you'll have Croaky, the wind-up frog.

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We've fished him out of the bins outside, but don't worry! He's OK!

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It's everything the young, hip frog-about-town could possibly need.

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And it's all...yours!

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-BARNEY GULPS

-This is you idea of making amends?!

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-No need to thank me. Nev helped too of course.

-Yeah-yeah!

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Right, well, it's just, how is sitting in a bath of water

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-supposed to help me get turned back into being me?

-Ah...

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-well, I...

-I don't want to stay a frog.

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I...guess not.

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The way things are going,

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I'm going to be stuck like this forever.

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Love you, Barney. Kissy.

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Poor Barney. What are we gonna do? It's not like an illness

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-where you can just kiss it and make it better.

-Hmm.

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-I know, I know!

-What is it, Nevvy?

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Kissy, kissy! Yeah-yeah!

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Tiptoparoo! Mwah!

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-Hey, get off me!

-Kissy, kissy!

-Huh?

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What on earth are you saying, mate?

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Ta-da!

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-Kissy!

-Nev, this is no time to be reading fairy stories.

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BARNEY GULPS

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No, that ideas is too stupid.

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Kissy, kissy!

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Nev's right.

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In fairy tales, the frog gets turned into a prince when he's kissed.

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Yeah-yeah!

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Um, I guess it might work.

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-Come on, Nev, get kissing!

-Yucky.

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M-M-Mwah!

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-Whoa! Easy there, mate!

-Nothing.

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-Told ya.

-Oh.

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Don't worry. I'LL have a go.

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KEITH CLEARS HIS THROAT

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LITTLE KISS

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Yeugh! Urgh! Slimy! Pah, pah, pah!

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-Thanks a lot, Keith(!)

-Ah, still nothing.

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OK. We've got to be a little more creative.

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-KISSING SOUND

-Ribbet!

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Oh...

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-Hmm, nothing.

-I really thought a kiss from Doris would work.

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In fairytales it's always princesses that turn frogs into princes.

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-Huh! We need a princess.

-Beetroot!

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No, no, no! Not Beatrice. I don't want her seeing me like this.

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Well, look at it this way. You can either let Beatrice kiss ya

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and not be a frog. Or spend the rest of your life as a shy,

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lonely, slimy, green amphibian.

0:14:390:14:42

Oh... But Beatrice has never wanted to kiss me before.

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Yeah, leave that to me and Nev!

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We're the lurve doctors!

0:14:480:14:50

Uh-oh...

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-Oh, hi, Nev, what's up?

-Beetroot, quick!

-Is something wrong?

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-Yeah, yeah.

-Whoa, right, you'd better show me, then.

0:15:010:15:06

What's going on...

0:15:060:15:07

NEV GIGGLES

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Nev? Where did you go?

0:15:090:15:13

ROMANTIC MOOD MUSIC STARTS

0:15:130:15:17

Have you had a power cut?

0:15:170:15:19

Nev?!

0:15:190:15:21

Oh, hi, Beatrice. Ribbet!

0:15:210:15:23

Oh... Hi, Barney!

0:15:230:15:25

Where are you?

0:15:300:15:31

Sofa, please, Beetroot.

0:15:310:15:33

SHE GIGGLES

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So, what's...

0:15:390:15:41

-Whoa! Hey, careful!

-SHE SCREAMS

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Oh, my.

0:15:430:15:44

-Hiya...

-Barney?

0:15:440:15:47

Yeah... Hi, Beatrice. How's it... How's it going?

0:15:470:15:49

Um, OK, I guess.

0:15:490:15:51

-You're a frog?

-Yeah, yeah, I'm a frog. It's cool, innit?

0:15:510:15:55

It's a new look I'm trying out...

0:15:550:15:57

OK, well, it's... It's certainly, um...

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-..different.

-NEV GIGGLES

0:16:020:16:04

Princess Beetroot! Hahaha!

0:16:050:16:09

NEV'S FEET PATTER AWAY

0:16:090:16:11

KEITH WHISTLES

0:16:110:16:13

OK, Nevvy, so far, so good.

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Time for phase two.

0:16:160:16:19

What on earth is going on?

0:16:210:16:24

Oh! This is getting weirder.

0:16:240:16:26

Eh... Mood-lighting. To help us relax...

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OK...

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ROMANTIC FUNKY MUSIC CONTINUES

0:16:310:16:34

TALKS FUNKILY: Just relax, baby. Take it easy.

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Yeah, yeah...

0:16:490:16:50

-What's that sound in the distance?

-Ribbet!

-Woo-woo!

0:16:500:16:55

That's right, it's the love train!

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Chuggy-chugga-chuggy-chuggah!

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Yeah! That's pullin' into love town.

0:16:590:17:04

Choo-choo!

0:17:040:17:06

With a delivery of lurve!

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So why don't you sit back, take it easy,

0:17:090:17:12

-and kiss that frog!

-Kissy, kissy!

0:17:120:17:15

Go on, kiss that frog, baby! Give it a great, big...

0:17:150:17:18

OK, someone had better explain to me right now what on earth is going on.

0:17:180:17:22

Oh, erm... Hmm...

0:17:220:17:25

OK, let me get this straight, you ate some of Keith's spaghetti,

0:17:250:17:29

-and it turned you into a frog?

-Exactamundo.

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Gulp! Yeah, we thought... I mean, Keith and Nev thought,

0:17:320:17:36

-that...

-If I kissed you, you might turn human again?

0:17:360:17:39

Well, that kind of makes sense, so why didn't you just ask me?

0:17:390:17:42

Gulp! Eh! Gulp!

0:17:420:17:44

I'm your friend. If you're in trouble, of course I'd try and help.

0:17:440:17:47

Oh, friends... Great... Thanks.

0:17:470:17:51

So, are you gonna kiss him, then?

0:17:510:17:54

Yeah, I guess so.

0:17:540:17:55

Ahh, yeah, baby, here comes the love train...

0:17:550:17:58

-OK, I'm shuttin' up!

-Thank you.

0:17:580:18:01

-SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH

-OK...

0:18:020:18:04

Gulp!

0:18:050:18:07

-Mwah!

-Wow!

0:18:070:18:09

-Oh, wow!

-Anything?

0:18:090:18:12

Eh, well... I'm still a frog. Ribbet!

0:18:120:18:15

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh dear...

0:18:150:18:17

I feel a bit funny, though.

0:18:170:18:20

Really?

0:18:200:18:21

Oh, my... What just happened there?

0:18:210:18:24

-Eh... Nothing.

-I felt this weird tingling sensation.

0:18:240:18:27

Arrrrrrrgh!

0:18:310:18:34

-Sorry!

-I'm sure it'll wear off!

-Love you, Beetroot.

0:18:350:18:39

Oops.

0:18:390:18:41

Oh, well, guys, this is terrible. It definitely can't get any worse now.

0:18:410:18:45

-BANGING

-Barney! It's your Aunt Barbara.

0:18:450:18:49

-Why do I keep saying things like that?

-Oh!

0:18:490:18:52

I'm outta here. I can't let Aunt Barbara see me. Cheers, Barney.

0:18:520:18:56

DOOR OPENS

0:18:560:18:57

Oh, Barney?

0:18:590:19:01

Oh, Nevvy-Wevvy!

0:19:020:19:06

Who's a lovely doggy, then? Treat?

0:19:060:19:09

WHINES AND BARKS LIKE A DOG

0:19:090:19:12

Wait for it!

0:19:140:19:15

Wait for it and go!

0:19:150:19:19

-Good doggy.

-NEV BURPS

0:19:190:19:21

Oh, she thinks Nev the Bear is a dog and now I've become a frog.

0:19:210:19:24

This could get confusing.

0:19:240:19:26

-Is Barney here?

-Oh, erm...

0:19:260:19:29

Erm... Hi, Aunt Barbara.

0:19:290:19:31

Barney, I've just seen that delightful girl,

0:19:310:19:34

Beatrice, running out of here, she seemed very upset.

0:19:340:19:38

What have you done this time?

0:19:380:19:39

Erm... Nothing.

0:19:390:19:41

Where are you, by the way?

0:19:410:19:43

Err... OK, I don't want to freak you out,

0:19:430:19:46

but there's been a bit of an accident...

0:19:460:19:49

and I've been turned into a frog.

0:19:490:19:51

A frog? Oh! A frog! Hello!

0:19:510:19:57

Tell me, have you eaten a lot of oregano lately?

0:19:570:20:00

-Err, yeah.

-Well, that's it, then.

0:20:000:20:03

It's a family condition, you know.

0:20:030:20:06

If you eat too much oregano, you turn into a frog.

0:20:060:20:10

What?! Well, no-one told me that!

0:20:100:20:12

Really? Oh, yes. Happens to my brother, Rupert, all the time.

0:20:120:20:17

Never mind, Barney, we'll soon have you fixed.

0:20:170:20:21

You just hop round here, come on.

0:20:210:20:23

Leap round. Better to get you off the sofa, isn't it?

0:20:230:20:27

Now, all we have to do is to pour some water over you.

0:20:270:20:30

-Water?!

-Yes, of course, water.

0:20:300:20:33

Arghh... Whoa...

0:20:340:20:36

-Hey-hey!

-Ribbet...

0:20:360:20:37

Whoa...

0:20:390:20:41

Hey, I'm back!

0:20:410:20:42

Tip-top!

0:20:420:20:44

-And naked. Oh!

-Yeah, yeah.

-Erm, well...

0:20:440:20:47

Well, thanks, Aunt B... Much appreciated...

0:20:470:20:51

Erm, yeah... So, hey...

0:20:510:20:54

Who'd have thought...

0:20:540:20:55

Can you imagine something like that happening...?

0:20:550:20:58

OK, bye!

0:20:580:21:00

Hmm...

0:21:020:21:03

VACUUM CLEANER SOUNDS

0:21:040:21:06

Get off my trousers, argh!

0:21:060:21:09

That's it, I'm sending you back in the morning!

0:21:090:21:13

Arghhh!

0:21:130:21:16

I take it Mr Prank still hasn't got the Suck Monster under control.

0:21:160:21:20

Get off! Get off me!

0:21:200:21:22

Hahahahaha! Too right!

0:21:220:21:25

I will never plug you in again.

0:21:250:21:29

Well, I've gotta say, I'm well chuffed that I'm not a frog anymore.

0:21:290:21:33

-Groovy!

-You know, everything turned out all right.

0:21:330:21:36

-FLY BUZZES

-Yeah, yeah.

0:21:360:21:37

Yeah... There's absolutely no... No side effects...

0:21:370:21:42

Huh! Barney!

0:21:430:21:45

Oh, ugh!

0:21:450:21:46

Oh... Oh, mate, thank you.

0:21:460:21:49

OK, maybe there is one side effect.

0:21:490:21:51

But we'll soon sort that out with a bit more water.

0:21:510:21:53

Ahh...

0:21:550:21:56

-Love you, Barney.

-I love you too, mate. Night-night.

0:21:580:22:01

Comedy series starring Barney Harwood and Nev the bear. When Barney eats Crazy Keith's spaghetti bolognese and promptly turns into a frog, it seems that nothing will bring him back to normal and save him from the frog-hating Angry Pants.

So, Nev and Keith try to convince Barney that being a frog might not be so bad after all. When he fails to be persuaded, Nev hatches a plan to free Barney of froggy misery with kisses. But will it work?