Out of Control Bear Behaving Badly

Come on. I can't understand it, Nev. It was working yesterday.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Beatrice is coming round later.

-We're going to watch a romantic French movie together.

-Ooh, la, la!

-Do you know why the TV's not working, Nev?

-Hmm...

Are you ready, Nevvy?

-Across the ramp and over the telly.

-Um...

Aye, aye, Captain.

Commencing countdown. Engines on!

ENGINE REVS

Three, two, one...

Lift off!

Vroom, vroom!

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom!

Strewth! Are you OK, Nevvy?

Mate? Speak to me! Speak to me!

NEV GRUNTS

-Mnmph... Zippadiyah!

-Yeah! Wackadoo-doo!

Vroom, vroom! Ha, ha, ha!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

-So you DO know something about the telly.

-Erm...

Whatever you've been up to,

-you've left us with no telly and me with no movie to watch.

-Sorry.

-All right. It's your fault if you're bored while I work.

-Miss you.

Yeah, miss you too. See you later.

Come along, Plank. I want this old junk off mine stacked up neatly.

-Ow!

-And then I want it put in the skip outside.

If we're throwing it all away,

why are we stacking it here, Ms Barbara, sir, er, ma'am?

-So no-one trips up over it!

-Who's gonna be stupid enough to... Oh!

Morning, Aunt Barbara. Mr Prank.

Good morning, Mr Barney, sir.

Good morning, Barney. Although it scarcely still is morning.

Just off to your TV presenting job?

Uh, yeah, I am. And your watch is on that wrist.

I agree with you, Ms Barbara, sir, uh, ma'am.

Yes, appearing on television must be very easy.

-It can be quite hard. It's like any other job, really.

-Ah,

not really like caretaking though, is it?

A caretaker's job is never done.

Well, yours certainly never seems to be.

Oh, yes. Always fancied meself on television, Mr Barney, sir.

All this talent, natural good looks. I thought I could go far.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Maybe.

-Maybe.

-I've really gotta go.

-Oh, yes!

NEV SIGHS

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.

Boring.

I know, I know! Crazy Keith.

Crazy Keith! Crazy Keith!

Crazy Kei-ei-ei-ei-eith!

Come on, Doris. How long's this silent treatment gonna go on for?

Ha-ha-ha! Whee-ee-ee!

Yeurgh!

-Ouch.

-G'day, Nevvy! How's it hangin', buddy?

Hello, Crazy Keith. I'm Bored. Telly broken.

That's a right dingo's breakfast of a to-do, and no mistake.

We'll have to... LOUD CRASH

Strewth! What was that?

Oh!

Ow! Oh!

Ow! Oh! Yeow!

Stupid...

boxes! Oh!

Mr Prank, you all right?

-Yes, just moving a bit of junk.

-The door to my flat seems to be blocked.

Could you move this as well?

-Oh, yes. Of course.

-I wanna get changed

cos I'm going to Barney's later to watch this French film.

-Oh. La, La.

-Ha, ha.

-Mundo problemo!

-Too right, buddy.

They're gonna be looking at a blank screen all night.

Unless...

Pan...zoom... Focus. Bonza!

Unless I'm very much mistaken, there's a telly in that junk.

Oh, zippadiyah!

-There you are, Beatrice.

-Thank you, Mr Prank.

-My pleasure.

-Nice threads.

-Confused.

-Telly.

-Oh, strewth, Nevvy. That thing's as old as Aunt Barbara!

-Never mind. Telly!

-Yeah, and I've got a plan.

-You distract Angry Pants, I'll get the telly.

-Easy peasy.

And I'm telling you this as a friend, but that colour does nothing for you.

Hmm, I don't know.

-Right, what have we here?

-Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

HE SNEEZES

Oww!

Psst, now, now!

Oh... Ow... Gnmph! Bear!

Where are you, bear?

-Here I am.

-Come here!

Nice one, Nevvy.

Erm, Mr Prank?

-Yes?

-I'm gonna need to get out of the flat sometime,

you know, later on? To see the French film?

Oh yes, of course. I'll tell you what...

I'll move some of this junk, shall I?

Merci beaucoup.

THEY LAUGH

Can't catch me!

Ha, ha! High five!

Bear!

Oh!

Ooh, that fat bear! Oh!

And push! Nearly there... And stop.

Yeah. THEY PANT

Ha, ha! Telly!

Yeah, ha, ha!

-Hmm.

-Huh.

-Nothing. Hmm.

Give it here. You're obviously not doing it right.

There you go.

Huh?

DOOR KNOCKS

Bear! Have you moved that television?

Angry Pants! Time for a sharp exit!

-Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

-I might have known it was you, bear,

making trouble for me by moving this old thing.

You know it's broken, don't you?

Um, yeah, yeah. Broken.

Well, I've got a good mind to give you...

..some scattered showers. With sunny intervals.

And the weather system will be moving further up north,

where we'll see highs of 26, 27.

But on the other hand, blue bears are in for a...stormy time.

-THUNDER ROLLS

-Oh!

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Yah-hoo!

Howdy, partners!

I'm gonna round me up some critters, then I'm gonna round you up, bear!

-Run!

-Yee-haw!

Come here, bear!

Strewth!

-Bear!

-Can't catch me.

Yeeee-ARGH!

Ha-ha, ha, ha!

I'm gonna get you, bear!

-Name?

-N-N-N-Nev!

-What is your specialist subject?

-Hmm... Angry Pants.

You have two minutes on Angry Pants, starting...now.

What N is a blue bear that's about to get caught?

-No way, Jose.

-Incorrect.

-What am I gonna do to you when I catch you?

-Kissy-kissy?

-Incorrect.

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

"Oh dear" indeed.

-Is that your final answer?

-Um, no-no, no, no!

I'm going to have to hurry you.

Can't catch me!

Where is the bear?

-Nevvy.

-What?

-Try the on/off switch. That might get rid of him.

Ah. So, bear, who do you think is...

the weakest link?

Angry Pants.

Incorrect.

SILENCE

That's the sound off, at least. Try again, Nevvy.

...with a donkey. Oh, that's better.

I've started, so I'll finish...you off.

That's just black and white.

We are now going...to sudden death.

No way, Jose!

You are the weakest link, bear...

Goodbye.

N-n-n-no!

-Tip top-a-roo!

-Woo-hoo! Wackadoo, you did it, Nevvy, ha, ha, ha!

Ah. I wonder where he went.

KNOCKING ON GLASS

'Where am I?

'Bear? Bear!

'What have you done?

'Bear, get me out of here.'

THEY LAUGH

'Shh. The largest land mammal alive, capable of squashing a human.

'But at this safe distance, if I stay very, very quiet...'

-VOLUME INCREASES

-'There's absolutely no chance

'of him attacking me WHATSOVEVER!'

THEY LAUGH

-'Argh!'

-ELEPHANT ROARS

'Oh. Thank you, Sue. And welcome to the finals

'of the World's Smelliest Feet Competition,

'which I have the pleasure to be judging today.'

-Ha, ha, ha!

-Poo-whee!

'So let's move straight on, shall we? Contestant Number One.

'Oh!

'Very smelly.'

-Ha, ha!

-Eurgh.

-'Contestant Number Two.

'Oh!

'Ssstinky!'

THEY LAUGH

'Contestant Number Three.

'They...are...the smelliest...'

THEY LAUGH

-I'm glad this isn't smell-o-vision!

-Too right!

-Smelly!

-Ha, ha, ha!

-A WOMAN SCREAMS >

-Plank!

->

-Plank!

-> It's time for me to scarper!

-Move this junk now!

->

Plank! Where are you, Plank?

Barbara!

Oh, Nevvy doggy!

What's my old television doing in here?

Woof, woof.

Oh, would Nevvy like a little treat?

NEV WHINES LIKE A DOG

Wait for it, wait for it.

And, go!

Oh, good doggy.

'And the winner is... Big Jock McSmelly.'

Whack it off.

Excuse me, Nevvy dear. Now, which button is it?

Blessed thing never did work properly.

Oh, there you are, Plank.

What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?

I'm sorry about that, Ms Barbara, sir. Uh, ma'am!

You've hardly moved one box in the hall and I find you lounging about

watching a load of old rubbish on television.

Oh, yes. I'll get rid of that junk, shall I, sir?

-Er, ma'am.

-You'd better.

Right.

Yes...but not before I get rid of you, bear.

I know this all your fault. Yeah.

Uh, oh!

I'm gonna zap you into the TV

then get rid of this remote control, for good.

NEV SCREAMS

Which button is it?

Can't zap me!

Bear! Where are you, bear?

"Beatrice, about that film." That's not right.

Um, "I'm sorry, Beatrice, but..."

"Now, listen up, doll. About that movie..."

-Beatrice!

-Hey, Barney. I thought I heard you out here.

-Love the hat.

-You do?

Oh. Well, actually...

-Well, I'm ready. Shall we watch this film?

-No, don't...

My mate at college says it's meant to be great.

There's a slushy scene by the Eiffel Tower

that'd make someone with a heart of stone cry

but she says it's so romantic.

Heh, heh, heh!

Got you now, bear!

Red button, I think, heh, heh, heh!

-Here I am.

-Oh, there you are, bear.

Prepare to be zapped!

Barney! Beetroot.

'My darling. I've dreamt of this moment for so long.

'It's perfect. And in Paris, the city of love.

'At last, we can be together...forever.

'I'm sorry...but I have to go.'

'But...what about us?' SHE SOBS

PRANK SOBS

NEV SNIFFLES

'I have to get on that train. It leaves in an hour.

'But... But what about me?

'Well, at least we'll always have Paris.'

PRANK HOWLS

THEY CRY

I'm sorry, I just always wanted those two to get together.

Love you, Barney. Love you, Beetroot.

LOUD CRASH OHH! Plank! Plank, move this junk! >

-Now! >

-I'll be right back, bear.

And I'm taking this with me.

Uh, oh.

HE HOWLS

And don't spoil the ending for me, bear!

HE HOWLS

Hmm. Crazy Keith!

Wheee!

-Wotcha, Nevvy!

-Ouch.

-Barney! Beetroot! Frightened.

-Ah, me too, Nevvy.

Are those two crazy kids gonna make it?

Or is it the end of a beautiful friendship?

-N-n-n-no. Trapped! Mundo problemo.

-Yeah, no, you're right, Nevvy.

-We need to get Barney and Beatrice out of the telly.

-Yeah.

Come on, Nevvy. I've got a plan.

SNORING

-Um... Night, night.

-Night, night, Mummykins.

Have you got a kiss for your special Andy Pandy?

HE SNEEZES

Bear! I just had a lovely dream

about capturing you. And now I wake up and find it's come true.

What the...?

Bear!

Come here, bear!

Argh!!! Ow!

Oh, I bet that hurt!

-Argh!

-ENGINE REVS

ENGINE BREAKS DOWN

-Uh, oh.

-It's the batteries.

We're out of juice!

-ENGINE SPUTTERS

-Oh, dear! Oh, dear(!)

Sounds like somebody's run out of power.

ENGINE TURNS AND FAILS

Licence and registration, bear.

NEV SCREAMS

Oh, yes! Oh, joy! Oh, happy days! Ha, ha, ha!

HE CACKLES

'Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear'

'Ooh, la, la. Trapped!

'Mundo problemo.'

Oh, yes, mundo problemo indeed. Ha, ha! Now then, what shall we watch?

Oh, I know. How about a nice programme on bear hunting?

Ha, ha! Then I can throw this thing away.

CRASH! >

Ow! >

Plank! >

Plank!

What are you doing still in here? I've told you a hundred times today

that that junk in the hall is a safety hazard!

-And here you are watching some... dog show, on television!

-Oh,

Ms Barbara, sir. Ah, I mean, ma'am! I can explain...

Can you, Plank? Can you?

No. No, I can't actually.

-No.

-Right. Give me that.

Here I am.

NEV BLOWS A RASPBERRY

Before I go, there's something I have to tell you.

If I don't, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

Tell me what?

Erm, that the shop down the road

has got a special offer on scouring pads.

-Yeah. Three for two.

-Oh.

Um. Great I'd better get down there then.

Right, Plank. Chop, chop. Out with the television, on to the skip.

Oh, Mr Prank, that reminds me.

The TV show that I'm working on needs some extras,

so I put your name down cos you were so keen this morning.

No, no. Thank you, Mr Barney, sir. I don't think TV's my thing, really.

Come along, Plank. Get it on the skip. All this cleared by tonight!

HE LAUGHS

-Ha, ha, funny.

-Come along, Plank!

Wanna hear something funny? My TV wasn't broken at all.

-No problemo.

-Yeah, someone unplugged it so they could charge that jeep.

Vroom, vroom.

CHEERING ON TELEVISION

One thing still puzzles me, though. Why is the TV on now?

Ah, sorry, Barney, buddy.

It's just Doris. She loves the darts. Can't bear to miss a single match.

She's like a different rabbit now.

Can't stand the darts myself. Make room for a koala.

Go on then.

So, what do you think of Algernon?

Groovy!

He adds a touch of class. Couldn't bear to throw him away.

So I got Mr Prank to put him up for us. That was nice of him, wasn't it?

-Mm.

-Anyway, night, fellas.

And Doris? Don't forget to turn the telly off!

-Night, all.

-Night, night

ALGERNON BELLOWS

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.