Invisible Nev Bear Behaving Badly


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Invisible Nev

Comedy series. When Barney's rent money goes missing and he is threatened with eviction, Nev and Keith do some undercover detective work.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

G'day, Nevvy!

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-Aaggh!

-Ooh!

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Are you OK, buddy?

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-Crazy Keith?

-Yeah.

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Some disguise, huh? It came with my new 008 spy kit.

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There's everything in there -

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code breakers, invisible ink, skeleton key, night spyer.

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-Groovy!

-Too right!

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With this disguise I can sneak up on anyone.

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I put one of my disguises on Barney and he didn't even see me do it!

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-Sneaky!

-Ha-ha!

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Hey, morning, Nev. How's breakfast?

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Tip-top-eroo, Barney.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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A 008 spy kit! They're cool! Watch this!

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The name's Bond - Barney Bond!

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Love it!

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Whoa!

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Barney!

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I'm OK. That was weird. I thought I saw my Uncle Bert.

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My dad used to say Bert looked like me, but with a bigger nose.

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Oh dear, oh dear!

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I've been feeling strange since this morning.

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-I thought I saw a plant move.

-Crazy Keith!

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I know! I'm going as crazy as him. I'm late. See you in a bit.

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-Love you, Barney.

-I love you too!

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Barney! Nose! Hmm!

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Good morning, Mr Prank.

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Nose! Er, no, not a good morning, Mr Barney, sir.

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Sorry about the smell.

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-Something wrong with the rubbish chute?

-Yeah, blocked again.

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A caretaker's work is never done.

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Wagh!

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Ugh! Ooh!

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Agh!

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Oh! Stinky!

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Is that you, Bear?

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Hide! Hide!

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-Are you OK, Mr Prank?

-Yes, er, fine.

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Thank you, Mr Barney, sir.

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By the way, have you thought any more about our proposed flat swap?

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I just need to nose, er, just need to know!

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I'm sorry, Mr Prank - the what?

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With the expansion of my, er...

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..ice cream sideline, I'm looking for more space

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and your apartment would be perfect.

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-I mentioned it last week. Do you remember?

-I can't say I do. No.

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-Anyway, if I could just...

-So that's a yes?

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-No.

-Good. I'll inform Aunt Barbara.

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-No, I said, no.

-Nose?

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-Er, no?

-Yes.

-Yes! Good. Hurrah!

-No, it's no -

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as in I don't want to swap the flat with you. Do we, Nev?

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No way, Jose!

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-Yeah, we like our flat.

-Too right, bro!

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I see!

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Sorry, if I could just...

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-Actually, Mr Prank, could you do me a favour?

-Yeah.

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This is my rent money for Aunt Barbara.

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-I keep missing her. Could you give it to her?

-Righty-ho!

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Thank you. I have to get to work or I'll get the sack.

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See you later, Nev.

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Nose!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

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Oh...if Mr Barney isn't going to play by my rules,

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it's time to start getting dirty.

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-Oh!

-I'm going to get you and Mr Barney out of that flat

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by fair means or foul, Bear.

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Just you wait and see!

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Wait a minute! Wasn't that plant over there a minute ago?

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Is that yours, Bear?

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Um, yeah, yeah.

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Oh, well, make sure you take it with you when you move out! Ha-ha!

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NEV BLOWS RASPBERRY

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Listen to me, Nevvy. You're not moving out anywhere. Trust me.

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Love you, Keith.

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We need to keep an eye on old angrypants.

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So, down under to my lair and we'll come up with a plan. Come on!

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Wrong way!

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Ow! Ooh!

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Ha-ha! Lovely, lovely money. Ha-ha!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, Mummy!

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You're going to be so proud of me at long last.

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I'm on my way up in the world!

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And I'm going to have... Mr Barney's flat.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Our cover was nearly blown back there,

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but I reckon this new disguise is a winner.

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Ta-da! The undercover tramp look! Bonser!

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-Crazy Keith, look!

-Ah!

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I think you've a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock, buddy.

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-That's a blank piece of paper.

-No, no! Look!

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I get it. You've written something on it in invisible ink.

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-Too right!

-Blow on the piece of paper and show me what it is.

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-Angrypants! Ha-ha!

-Struth! You're a good drawer, Nevvy!

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Tip-top-eroo!

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So, you've got the invisible ink and I've got my disguise.

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We're tooled up and ready for Mission... Mission...

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What shall we call it? Mission...

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Pants!

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Brilliant, Nevvy. Mission Pants!

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Coo-ee! Barney! Rent money day.

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Nevvy, doggy. Are you there?

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Disguise complete! Ha-ha!

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Let's go. Follow me, Nevvy!

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-OK, Keith.

-Yeah.

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Nevvyyyyy!

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STOMPING

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Oh! Struth! Did I just hear the high-pitched holler of a hyena?

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Nevvy!

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Miaow!

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I did! It's Aunt Barbara looking for you.

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I can't believe you play along with that doggy act.

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What's in it for you?

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Treats!

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What?

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Treat! Yum-yum. Bye, Keith!

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Hey! What about our spy mission? And you've still got my ink!

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Oh!

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Yum-yum! Choccies! Now, please!

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Nevvy. Save some choccy drops for me please, mate.

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Woof-woof!

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Neville!

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Warbara!

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Oh, my dear! Where have you been, my little pooch?

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Choccy droppy? Good boy!

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Choc, choc, drops. Here we are. Let's find them for you. There you are.

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There.

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Ah, good, doggy.

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Poor little Nevvy-Wevvy stuck here all day on your own.

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Now, has that good for nothing nephew of mine left me any rent?

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No, I thought not.

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Woof-woof! Woof-woof-woof-woof!

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-I'll see you later, my poor little doggy.

-Woof-woof!

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Bow-wow.

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-Ooh!

-Right, Nevvy!

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Let's down this tucker and get back to Mission Pants.

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Yours and Barney's home depends on it! Mmm!

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Oh! The things some people throw away.

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I've never seen a caretaker take so long in the simplest of tasks.

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No, it's me here, look!

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Hello!

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Plank, did you take my old clothes down to the charity shop?

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I left them in the bin bag by my front door.

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Ah, yes, your old clothes down to the charity shop...

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Heh-heh!

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Yes, of course I did, Miss Barbara, sir, er, ma'am!

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Thank you, Plank. Now, rent money, please.

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Oh, yes. You know I always like to pay on time!

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-Unlike some, I'm sure!

-My nephew, for a start.

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No! Are you telling me that Mr Barney hasn't paid his rent?

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He's three weeks behind. Not that it's any of your business.

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Of course it's none of my business whatsoever!

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But the way he treats that bear, er, dog - that is my business.

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He leaves it at home on its own. That's neglect!

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Well, I do see what you mean.

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Late payment of rent, animal abandonment...

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If I was you I'd ask him to leave that flat by the weekend.

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But he's my nephew.

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Yes, but don't you think little Nevvy-Wevvy

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might be better off living with you?

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-Well, I suppose he would.

-Yeah!

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-Burp!

-Burp!

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Ooh! Better out than in!

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Ha-ha! Hey, I've got chocolate in my beard!

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Beard?

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Oh yeah, I'm still in disguise!

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Snap to it. We've been diverted from Mission Pants

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and the flat-nicking racket.

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Yum-yum. Burp!

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Ha-ha! Let's get spying, buddy!

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Now, you need to get your disguise sorted, Nev.

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Why don't you try these?

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Aaghh! Oh! Oops!

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You'll dry off. Don't worry. Now, just give these teeth a try. Nev...?

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-Nevvy? Where are you?

-Here I am.

-Where?

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-Look, Keith.

-Oh. Whack-a-doo! Ha-ha! For a second there you just...

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Wagh! Disappeared!

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You've done it again, Nevvy!

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Ouch!

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Didgeridoo-da, Nev!

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That invisible ink's turned you... invisible.

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Don't worry. I'll get you back. I'll just breathe on you -

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like we did on the paper.

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Eugh! Stinky, yucky, eugh!

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I never knew my breath was bad enough to knock someone out.

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Eugh!

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Note to self - buy breath fresheners.

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Here you go. This'll revive you.

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Keith, was that you?

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Hey, wotcher, Barnster!

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What are you doing?

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Er, nothing.

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Right. I just nipped back to get my phone.

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I guess I'll be seeing you later, then.

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-Yeah.

-Stinky Keith!

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Nev, is that you? Keith, where is Nev?

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Ah, well...

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I thought I heard you, Barney.

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Three weeks' rent money I'm due.

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Keith, hide!

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I'm out of here!

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Whack-a-doo!

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I gave my rent money to Mr Prank this morning to give to you.

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I saw him this morning and he never mentioned it.

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-I...

-Just because you're family, don't take liberties.

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-I'm not.

-Then there's poor little Neville. Abandoned, alone.

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I mean... Where is little Neville right now?

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-I'm not sure.

-Not sure? Typical.

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I'm sure he's close. Nev? Nev?

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Slurp! Burp!

0:12:050:12:07

I beg your pardon?

0:12:070:12:08

-It wasn't me.

-Who was it - the invisible man?

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-I don't think you're taking me seriously.

-I am.

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There's been a mistake.

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Correct. That is what I'll be telling Uncle Rupert.

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Nephew or not, I want you out of this flat by the weekend.

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-What?

-And don't even think about taking Neville with you.

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He's staying here. He's coming to live with me.

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No, no, no! Can't make me!

0:12:330:12:35

-Where have you been hiding?

-I don't know.

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I'm in trouble with Aunt Barbara and so are you.

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We've got to see Mr Prank and find out about my rent money.

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MR PRANK WHISTLES

0:12:470:12:48

-Mr Prank!

-Ooh!

-Did I give you my weeks' rent money this morning?

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Yes, of course you did, Mr Barney. I gave it to your aunt earlier.

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Confused.

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I swear on young Neville's life here. A-choo!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

0:13:040:13:06

Aunt Barbara says she hasn't got the money

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-and that I have to move out by the weekend.

-You do?!

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I mean, how awful. That means I can move in after all.

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-Shame.

-Well, I'd better get back to work, eh?

0:13:160:13:19

If I'm not careful I'll be without a job as well.

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-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, mate.

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BLOWS RASPBERRY

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A-choo! Yes. Mr Barney's flat is mine. Ha-ha-ha!

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Nevvy, I've been flossing

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and I wanted to see what you think of my breath.

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Now, tell me honestly.

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Oh.

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-Crazy Keith.

-Wagh!

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Don't sneak up like that. I thought you were still invisible.

0:13:470:13:51

No, no, no! Keith, help! Problemo!

0:13:510:13:55

What's up, Buddy?

0:13:550:13:57

Barney, money, gone!

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Right, Bear, I'm just moving in a few of my belongings,

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ready for the weekend.

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Hide!

0:14:060:14:07

This place is gonna be mine once you and Mr Barney clear off!

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Whoa!

0:14:100:14:12

Ugh!

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Right! start packing, Bear!

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I'm moving in.

0:14:190:14:21

We have to get to the bottom of this.

0:14:230:14:25

You've got to move out cos of Barney's missing rent money?

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Yeah, yeah.

0:14:290:14:30

Mission Pants has just got serious.

0:14:300:14:33

OK. Synchronise watches.

0:14:330:14:35

-Ah.

-Hm. Never mind.

0:14:350:14:39

Confirm spy gadgets.

0:14:390:14:42

Hmm. Nothing.

0:14:430:14:46

Ah.

0:14:460:14:47

You can have the skeleton key. It opens any lock there is.

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Right. Confirm disguises.

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-Still nothing.

-Ah!

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Ooh. Oh!

0:15:050:15:07

Yep. Invisibility is the best disguise there is.

0:15:070:15:10

Mission objectives confirmed. Go, go, go!

0:15:100:15:15

-Have you gone?

-No, no, no!

0:15:160:15:19

-Agh! Why not?

-I don't know.

0:15:190:15:21

You do know what the mission objectives are?

0:15:210:15:25

No, no, no! Confused.

0:15:250:15:28

Ohh! We need to find Barney's rent money.

0:15:280:15:31

I'll spy on Aunt Barbara, you spy on angrypants -

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one of them must have it.

0:15:340:15:36

-OK.

-Whack-a-doo! Ohh!

0:15:360:15:39

Thank you, Beatrice, dear. You always pay your rent on time.

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Oh, yeah, heh-heh!

0:15:460:15:47

Why is Mr Prank moving his things into Barney's?

0:15:470:15:51

I said he could have that flat now that Barney's moving out.

0:15:510:15:55

-Moving out?

-He certainly is.

0:15:550:15:57

Late payment of rent for three weeks.

0:15:570:16:00

Afternoon, ladies!

0:16:000:16:02

Plank! This hall smells like a sewer!

0:16:020:16:06

What's happening with this rubbish?

0:16:060:16:09

I'm right on the case, Miss Barbara sir, ma'am, trust me.

0:16:090:16:13

Heh-heh. Ha-ha.

0:16:170:16:20

Heh-heh-heh!

0:16:200:16:22

Oh, yeah!

0:16:240:16:25

Oh, yes, it's all there! Ha-ha!

0:16:260:16:29

Yes, Mummy. You're going to love my new flat.

0:16:290:16:32

Now, I'm just going to put that in there for safe keeping

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until Mr Barney has moved out. Out! Out!

0:16:370:16:43

PATTERING FOOTSTEPS

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Do-do! Do-do!

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Hm-hm.

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Zip-a-dee-ah!

0:16:550:16:57

In you go, Mummy!

0:16:590:17:01

Uh?

0:17:030:17:04

Uh? Uh?

0:17:050:17:06

No! My envelope!

0:17:060:17:08

Agh!

0:17:090:17:11

Sorry, Mummy!

0:17:120:17:13

Barney always puts money aside for his rent

0:17:140:17:17

and he adores that bear - I mean dog.

0:17:170:17:20

Come inside, have a cup of tea,

0:17:200:17:22

and I'll tell you more of Barney's good points.

0:17:220:17:25

It's going to be a quick cup of tea then, isn't it?

0:17:250:17:29

-Crazy Keith!

-Nevvy?

0:17:300:17:32

Is that you?

0:17:320:17:34

My money! Come back here!

0:17:340:17:37

Come here!

0:17:390:17:40

What are you - a ghost?

0:17:400:17:42

Just give me my money, will you?

0:17:440:17:46

Ah! Ha-ha!

0:17:460:17:48

Got it, Mummy!

0:17:480:17:49

Ha-ha-ha!

0:17:490:17:51

Right, ghost, where are you? You're not going to get away with this.

0:17:530:17:58

Ah-ha-ha!

0:17:580:18:00

Ha-ha-ha-ow! Ow!

0:18:000:18:02

No, no! Pack it in!

0:18:020:18:04

Ow, ow! Ugh!

0:18:040:18:07

Ugh! Urgh! Ugh!

0:18:070:18:10

Ugh!

0:18:100:18:12

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

0:18:120:18:15

Nevvy, what's going on? Where are you?

0:18:150:18:18

-Here I am.

-Ah, well, put these teeth in please -

0:18:180:18:22

so I can see where you are!

0:18:220:18:24

-Hey! Suits you!

-Angrypants.

0:18:240:18:27

Yeah... Struth!

0:18:270:18:29

He's out cold.

0:18:290:18:31

OK. I've seen this type of thing before on SOS-type TV programmes.

0:18:310:18:35

We need to revive him with the kiss of life.

0:18:350:18:39

Yucky!

0:18:390:18:40

You just do a big breath into his mouth, like this.

0:18:410:18:44

Oh-eugh! What's that rancid smell?

0:18:460:18:50

Is rancid good or bad?

0:18:500:18:53

Oh-oh. Hide!

0:18:540:18:55

Agh! Jaws! Go away!

0:18:570:19:01

TEETH CHATTER

0:19:010:19:03

Leave me alone, will you?! Agh!

0:19:030:19:07

Oh!

0:19:090:19:10

Sorry, Mummy!

0:19:130:19:15

Money - mine!

0:19:170:19:20

Mr Plank. I need to speak to you about Barney's flat.

0:19:210:19:25

I've changed my mind. I don't want it.

0:19:250:19:27

There's something weird going on. Agh!

0:19:270:19:30

-That'll be my rent money?

-Ah, yes, Mr Barney, sir.

0:19:360:19:40

Seems I did have it all the time.

0:19:400:19:42

Rrr! Naughtypants!

0:19:420:19:45

Yes. That nasty bump on my head must have made me forget all about it.

0:19:450:19:49

Sorry.

0:19:490:19:50

Right.

0:19:500:19:52

Rrr! Woof-woof!

0:19:520:19:53

-Nevvy has every right to be cross.

-Yes.

0:19:530:19:56

You had my nephew's rent money all the time.

0:19:560:20:01

You incompetent, irritating little caretaker.

0:20:010:20:05

Yes, Miss Barbara, sir, ma'am, thank you.

0:20:050:20:08

And why is that rubbish chute still blocked?

0:20:080:20:12

-It's funny you should...

-Fix it once and for all!

0:20:120:20:15

I'm on it, right away! Right away!

0:20:150:20:18

I'll take that too, if you don't mind.

0:20:180:20:21

-So, does that mean...

-Yes, you have a reprieve, young man

0:20:210:20:25

and you can thank Beatrice for putting in a good word for you too.

0:20:250:20:29

Did she? I mean, did you?

0:20:290:20:32

Of course!

0:20:320:20:33

I've got it!

0:20:330:20:34

Here she blows!

0:20:340:20:36

Wagh!

0:20:360:20:37

Oh! Ooh! Oh!

0:20:390:20:42

I don't believe it!

0:20:450:20:47

As I said - the things some people throw away!

0:20:470:20:51

I didn't throw it away.

0:20:510:20:52

It was supposed to have gone to the charity shop.

0:20:520:20:56

-Something else you conveniently forgot to do. Get in there!

-Sorry!

0:20:560:21:01

-Mission Pants accomplished. Nice spying!

-Zip-a-dee-yeah!

0:21:040:21:09

Just in the knickers of time, eh?

0:21:090:21:11

-Ha-ha!

-Ha-ha!

0:21:110:21:12

Just in the knickers of time!

0:21:140:21:16

She's funny.

0:21:170:21:18

I can't believe Beatrice stood up for me.

0:21:190:21:22

-Maybe I have a bit of James Bond charm after all.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:21:220:21:26

Thanks very much. Night, Nev.

0:21:260:21:29

Love you, Barney.

0:21:310:21:33

SNORING

0:21:350:21:37

Can't sleep. Oh!

0:21:380:21:41

Ooh!

0:21:430:21:44

Hmm!

0:21:470:21:48

Huh?

0:21:480:21:49

You still awake, Nevvy?

0:21:490:21:51

I've been trying out a new mouthwash.

0:21:510:21:54

Be honest. Tell me if it's worked.

0:21:540:21:56

Eugh!

0:21:580:21:59

THUMP

0:21:590:22:00

I'll take that as a no, then.

0:22:000:22:03

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:22:030:22:05

When Barney's rent money goes missing and he is threatened with eviction, Nev and Keith use the gizmos, gadgets and disguises in their new spy kit to do some undercover detective work.

Using special binoculars, invisible ink and a skeleton key, they must act quickly, as Angry Pants is delighted at the news of Barney's imminent departure and has spotted an opportunity to use the space to expand his secret ice cream business.