Love Potion Bear Behaving Badly


Love Potion

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And...kick! And twist! And bounce...

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two, three, four. Toes in

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and lunge, two, three, four.

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-Hey, Beatrice, watch this.

-CRUNCH!

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-Don't try so hard, Barney. Relax into it.

-Ow!

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-Yes, very good.

-Thanks!

-No, I meant your Auntie Barbara.

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-Will do!

-And pump those arms, two, three, four!

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-Ow!

-Plank, what do you think you're doing?!

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Just caretaking as always, sir...er...ma'am.

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I'm quite exhausted now! I'm going to have a relaxing bath.

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At least you can't ruin that for me, Plank!

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You have a nice relaxing bath, sir...er...ma'am.

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Have a nice...soak.

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HE CHUCKLES

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-See you later, Aunt B!

-Same time tomorrow.

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FEET BANG ABOVE

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Oh, strewth! I wish they'd hurry up and finish up there,

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so we can get on with our console gaming marathon.

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Let's get ice cream. It's not a gaming sesh without ice cream.

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-Yeah!

-Come on. A certain caretaker with a secret ice cream business

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needs to be paid a secret visit. Come on!

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HAMMER CLUNKS

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HE CHUCKLES

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Yes! That's it. That's me done. I'm off.

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OK. What was wrong with the plumbing?

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Wrong? Oh, no. Nothing's wrong with it, sir.

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No, no. I've fixed it now.

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Yes. It's all fixed perfectly.

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HE CHUCKLES

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HE CACKLES

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-And relax and stretch.

-Relax. Stretch.

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Stretch the... Muscles are stretching out there, aren't they?

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Barney, there's something I've been wanting to say.

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Yeah?

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Yeah. You really should...take a shower.

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THUD!

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HE CHUCKLES

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The finest love potion money can buy!

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Two drops and Miss Barbara will fall madly in love with me,

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the first person she sees.

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Ugh! I mean, ah!

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Then I won't be able to put a foot wrong around these flats.

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There's...one

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and...a two.

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HE CACKLES

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Now then, what's this one?

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This is the antidote to the love potion. Won't be needing that!

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Any moment now, due to some clever tampering with the plumbing,

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Miss Barbara's bath is gonna turn nasty...

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WATER GUSHES

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SHE SCREAMS

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..and she'll come running down the stairs...

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and ask me to fix her burst taps.

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-AUNT BARBARA:

-Plank! >

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Oh, what a surprise!

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All clear, Nevvy!

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Now, you keep watch while I get the ice cream.

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Quick!

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-MR PRANK:

-Do come in for a nice cup of tea.

-Oh-oh!

-Go, go, go!

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-Plank!

-I'll just get you that tea.

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It's almost like I was expect...ing you.

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Look - tea for two!

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There you are, Miss Barbara, sir...er...ma'am.

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Drink it all up.

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All of it now.

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Drink it down.

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There we go.

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HE YAWNS

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Oorgh.

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Feeling the love, Babs?

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No? Oh, well. Maybe it takes a little time to kick in.

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What? Don't think a cup of tea will let you off, you strange little man.

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But Babs...I mean, sir...er...ma'am...

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-just wait a minute. Let it...

-Oh!

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What a lovely bottle!

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Is it perfume?

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What - this antidote?

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I mean, oh, yes! It's perfume! And it's a present for you.

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See it as an apology gift.

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-Crazy times. Come on. Let's get out of here.

-Ssh.

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Now, Plank, I'm going to go outside and sit in the sunshine and dry off.

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Fix my plumbing double quick or you're fired.

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What? She didn't fall in love with me?

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That love potion's a rip off!

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Now I need a cup of tea.

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O-o-oh...

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Oh, that's nice.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello.

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Hi, Mr Prank. I was just in the shower and the water went off.

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-Oh, yeah.

-I don't know what you've done. It was fine before.

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-Can you fix it, please?

-Yes, of course, sir!

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I'll be right round. Toodle-pip. Yeah, bye-bye.

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Oh, a caretaker can't even enjoy a cup of tea in peace.

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Right, Nevvy, let's get this games marathon started!

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KNOCK AT THE DOOR

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-Can you get the door please, Nev?

-OK, Barney.

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It'll be Mr Prank come to fix the water, so...

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Yeah, I know. I better go or I'll be minced koala on toast. Hm!

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DOOR CREAKS

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Hello, Mr Angry-Pants.

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ROMANTIC MUSIC

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Ah!

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A-choo!

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Nev... My little Nevvy!

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I'm feeling the love and my heart is all yours.

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I love you from your head to your cute little paws.

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Oh, yucky.

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Now, come here you furry ball of blue love, you.

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Uh-oh. A-a-a-a-ah!

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Oh, Nevvy!

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-Ah! Ah! Ah!

-Nevvy!

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Nevvy, Nevvy, Nevvy!

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HE PANTS

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Oh! Is that my ice cream?

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Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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Oh, Nevvy, I'm glad you like my ice cream!

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I just want to make you happy.

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-Confused.

-I love you, you lovable little love bear, you!

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Um...Mr Angry-Pants...

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It's so funny when you call me Angry-Pants!

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-Give me a hug, little bear. Come here.

-No.

-Come here.

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-Ah!

-Cuddly bear, come on. A-choo!

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-Icky!

-I love you so much, you make me sneeze. A-choo!

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-Ah! He's lost it! Ah!

-Come here.

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Oh, oh! Ow.

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Oh, that love potion bottle stuck right in my ribs then.

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Fat lot of good that was.

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Come here, bear!

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Mr Prank?

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-Oh.

-Could you do something about the plumbing?

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Oh, yes... Sorry, sir. I was just so pleased to see my Nevvy.

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-Nev, come with me and we'll sort the plumbing out together.

-No, please!

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Barney, help!

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Hey, Barney. Have you seen...? There you are, Mr Prank.

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Hi, Beatrice. Hi. You having problems too?

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The water's stopped coming out of my taps. May I?

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Help yourself. It's thirsty work all that exercise.

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I think I'll join you for a glass of water.

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Thanks.

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It's important, water. Did you know, the human body can't

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-survive without water?

-Yes, Barney.

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Oh, wow!

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Look at you!

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You're gorgeous.

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Gorgeous Barney! I've never noticed that before!

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Look at... Oh! Look at your eyelashes!

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A bit long for a boy, aren't they? Look at your hair. Immaculate.

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Oh, Barney! My Barney.

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I want to touch your lovely hair and never be apart...

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Don't touch it! Sorry about that, Barney.

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Listen, I've got to go, but I'll tell the world how gorgeous you are.

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Give us a kiss. Mwah! Oh, you're so beautiful.

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Barney, come back. Wait for me. I love you.

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I can't live without you.

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HE GASPS

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Yuck! Yuck! Yucky!

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Come here! I'm gonna hug you like you've never been hugged before!

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Ah! No!

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-Ah! Can't love me!

-Neville...

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Come here, Nevvy!

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A-choo!

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Nevvy, I wanna be like you.

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I wanna be blue.

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-Woo-oo!

-Oh...

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Meet me in the bathroom, Nevvy. We need to sort this out.

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Now then.

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Who wants to give his favourite Angry-Pants a snuggly-wuggy-hug?

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No, no, no, no!

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No! No!

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Don't forget. I love you.

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Mm...icky.

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Oh!

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Strewth! I can't believe my eyes.

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Angry-Pants loves you!

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Ugh...mushy.

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Yeah. He's mushier than mushy peas.

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He's up to something.

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If we don't get rid of him, we'll never get to play Kickboxing

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-Kangaroos.

-Oh!

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Nevvy-wevvy!

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I'm waiting for my huggy-wuggy.

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Oh, help!

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Oh, come on, Nevvy! We need one of your bright ideas.

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Hm...

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Ah! I know!

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Ta-da!

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NEV SCREAMS

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Oh. I don't like it when we're not together, Nevvy.

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-Let's stick ourselves together so we never have to be apart.

-Ah!

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Now, please!

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MOBILE RINGS

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-My phone. Who could be calling me?

-Phew-ee.

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Hello.

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G'day... I mean...

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-HIGH VOICE:

-Hello, Plank.

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-Oh, is that you, Miss Barbara?

-Yes, it is.

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I didn't recognise the voice.

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Er...yes, I think I'm getting a cold. A-choo.

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-Bless you.

-Anyway, I need you to do a job right now...on the roof,

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-or you're sacked.

-Oh, sacked! Yeah, brilliant. No more caretaking!

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-That means I can spend my days with Neville.

-Ah!

-Er...

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no, because then you won't be able to live here,

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-so you'll never see him again.

-Oh, no! Don't say that!

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I'm begging you. I can't live without Neville.

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-Mm...

-Hurry up to the roof then, Mr Couldn't-care-less-taker

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-if you want to keep your job.

-I'm right on it.

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And stop making those faces. The wind'll change and you'll be stuck.

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Sorry, Miss Barbara, sir...er...ma'am. Bye.

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I've got to go, Nevvy. Back in no time.

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Don't go changing!

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Mm.

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Plank! What on earth are you doing with those ladders?

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But I thought you said... Oh, never mind!

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Means I can get straight back to Nevvy.

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Oh, you ridiculous little man!

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GAMES CONSOLE BEEPS

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I almost think ice cream's nicer when it's melted.

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Too right, bro!

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-CONSOLE:

-'You're on the next level.'

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Easy-peasy!

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KNOCK AT THE DOOR

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Nevvy-wevvy! I'm back!

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Oh, no. Not again!

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Boo!

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Frightened.

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Oh, Neville. Sometimes I think I love you more than you love me.

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If that love potion had worked on old Barbara, I'd have given

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some to you... A-choo!

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Love potion? Ah!

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Then you'd love me and we could live together for ever.

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-Ah!

-Oh, come here.

-No!

-Come here.

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And I could make you ice cream and... A-choo!

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And me, you and the duckies could eat it every day.

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-Let's go!

-Zoom!

-Run!

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-Woah!

-Woah!

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What's up?

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You're not gonna like this, Nevvy,

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-but Angry-Pants must've drunk a love potion.

-Uh-oh.

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Old Keithy boy's gonna have to work out a way to reverse the potion

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-and stop him from lovie-doving you.

-Quick!

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But how?

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This antidote... I mean, yes! It's perfume and it's a present for you.

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Ah! That's it!

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The antidote! I need to get it back off Aunt Barbara.

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-An antidote will reverse the effect of a love potion.

-Now, please!

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Nev, you just need to keep Angry-Pants entertained

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-for a bit longer.

-Ah, but no, no, no!

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Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!

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Come on, mate. I'm counting on you.

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-Come on, Nev. You can do it, buddy.

-Oh, dear, oh, dear.

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LIFT MUSIC PLAYS

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Woah! Ah.

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Ah! This isn't Nev!

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Oh, where, oh, where is my little Nevvy?

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-Hello, Mr Angry-Pants.

-There you are, Nevvy!

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You had me worried. Come here, you sweet little bear of love.

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-Come to me.

-Ah!

-I'd do anything for a hug.

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Just tell me what you want. Anything at all.

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-Ice cream?

-Ice cream? OK, ice cream it is!

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NEV LAUGHS

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Oh, Bill Oddie...

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you've got a nice beard.

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SHE SNORES

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Oh! I must've fallen asleep!

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Help, help! Barbara. I mean, woof!

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Nevvy, is that you? Are you in trouble?

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Woof, woof!

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I bet that awful Plank is up to his tricks! Don't worry, Nevvy!

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Bar-bar's coming! She will save you!

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Ah-ha!

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HE LAUGHS

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How is it, Nevvy?

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Do you like my ice cream?

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Tip-toparoo!

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What are you doing to Nevvy-wevvy, you horrible little man?

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Wh-what? I would never do anything to hurt my little Neville! A-choo!

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-Ugh.

-You've scared him now!

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Oh, Nevvy-wevvy, come to your Auntie Barbara.

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No, Nevvy-wevvy, come to your Never-angry-again-pants.

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-Come on!

-Come here, Nevvy.

-Ah!

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HE SCAMPERS

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-Nevvy, where are you?

-Come here, Nevvy!

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-Nevvy!

-Neville!

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Nevvy-wevvy!

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BUBBLING

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Oh! Oh, Nev, I'm sinking!

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If I don't make it, I want you to know I'll always love you!

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Yucky.

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-Neville!

-Ah!

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# Da-da-la-da-da-da-da-ah!

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Oh.

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Yo, Barney.

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Hi, Barney.

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Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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Oh, wow.

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That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

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-Oh, Barney, I love you.

-Oh, I love you too!

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And to prove it... I've baked you a cake.

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-Psst! Nevvy boy!

-Crazy Keith.

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-Over here.

-What's that?

-It's the antidote.

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Now go get Angry-Pants.

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-Nevvy!

-Three, two, one, now, please.

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Mr Angry-Pants.

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Oh, Nevvy, there you are, my little...

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er...

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Eh? What's going on?

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-Barney, Barney.

-What?

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Barney? Are you OK, my love?

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NEVILLE: Beetroot.

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I feel really strange.

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OK, why is there a really weird picture of me here?

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-Oh, hey Beatrice! What's that?

-What? What? Oh, nothing.

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Oh! I'm just gonna get something to clean this up.

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Oh. I do feel peculiar. What's going on?

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Bear, where are you?!

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Here I am. Yum, yum.

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-That's my ice cream!

-That was nice of you, Mr Prank,

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-to give Nev your ice cream.

-Love you, Mr Angry-Pants.

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Oh, Bear...

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PIPES CLANK

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WATER GUSHES

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AUNT BARBARA SCREAMS

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Pla-a-a-a-a-ank!

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Sort out the plumbing once and for all or you're fired!

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-Ha! Gotcha Crazy Keith!

-You did too, but you're still not as good

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as Nevvy boy!

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CONSOLE: 'Player one, Nev, wins!'

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-Yeah!

-I win, I win!

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KNOCK AT THE DOOR

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-AUNT BARBARA:

-Hello, boys! Are you awake?

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It's Aunt B. I better go. If she finds a koala, I'll be...

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Coo-ee!

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Wackadoo!

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Plank still hasn't fixed my plumbing and I have no water,

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-so I've taken a glass from your kitchen jug. Night all!

-OK.

0:21:310:21:35

-Night-night.

-Night, Aunt B.

0:21:350:21:38

What's that?

0:21:430:21:44

Uh-oh.

0:21:440:21:46

What a cute little dog!

0:21:460:21:49

Well, hello!

0:21:490:21:52

Strewth! I mean...woof?

0:21:540:21:56

I'm feeling the lo-o-o-ove.

0:21:560:22:00

Has Barney's new doggie got a special kissy for Auntie Barbara?

0:22:000:22:08

-M-m-m-wah!

-He-e-e-e-e-e-elp!

0:22:080:22:12

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