Love Potion Bear Behaving Badly


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Love Potion

Comedy. The gang is infected by Prank's love potion. As Nev tries to escape Prank's clutches, Beatrice falls in love with Barney, who loves himself too much to notice.


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Transcript


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And...kick! And twist! And bounce...

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two, three, four. Toes in

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and lunge, two, three, four.

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-Hey, Beatrice, watch this.

-CRUNCH!

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-Don't try so hard, Barney. Relax into it.

-Ow!

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-Yes, very good.

-Thanks!

-No, I meant your Auntie Barbara.

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-Will do!

-And pump those arms, two, three, four!

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-Ow!

-Plank, what do you think you're doing?!

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Just caretaking as always, sir...er...ma'am.

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I'm quite exhausted now! I'm going to have a relaxing bath.

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At least you can't ruin that for me, Plank!

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You have a nice relaxing bath, sir...er...ma'am.

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Have a nice...soak.

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HE CHUCKLES

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-See you later, Aunt B!

-Same time tomorrow.

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FEET BANG ABOVE

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Oh, strewth! I wish they'd hurry up and finish up there,

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so we can get on with our console gaming marathon.

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Let's get ice cream. It's not a gaming sesh without ice cream.

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-Yeah!

-Come on. A certain caretaker with a secret ice cream business

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needs to be paid a secret visit. Come on!

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HAMMER CLUNKS

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HE CHUCKLES

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Yes! That's it. That's me done. I'm off.

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OK. What was wrong with the plumbing?

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Wrong? Oh, no. Nothing's wrong with it, sir.

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No, no. I've fixed it now.

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Yes. It's all fixed perfectly.

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HE CHUCKLES

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HE CACKLES

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-And relax and stretch.

-Relax. Stretch.

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Stretch the... Muscles are stretching out there, aren't they?

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Barney, there's something I've been wanting to say.

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Yeah?

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Yeah. You really should...take a shower.

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THUD!

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HE CHUCKLES

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The finest love potion money can buy!

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Two drops and Miss Barbara will fall madly in love with me,

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the first person she sees.

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Ugh! I mean, ah!

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Then I won't be able to put a foot wrong around these flats.

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There's...one

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and...a two.

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HE CACKLES

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Now then, what's this one?

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This is the antidote to the love potion. Won't be needing that!

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Any moment now, due to some clever tampering with the plumbing,

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Miss Barbara's bath is gonna turn nasty...

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WATER GUSHES

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SHE SCREAMS

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..and she'll come running down the stairs...

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and ask me to fix her burst taps.

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-AUNT BARBARA:

-Plank! >

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Oh, what a surprise!

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All clear, Nevvy!

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Now, you keep watch while I get the ice cream.

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Quick!

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-MR PRANK:

-Do come in for a nice cup of tea.

-Oh-oh!

-Go, go, go!

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-Plank!

-I'll just get you that tea.

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It's almost like I was expect...ing you.

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Look - tea for two!

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There you are, Miss Barbara, sir...er...ma'am.

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Drink it all up.

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All of it now.

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Drink it down.

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There we go.

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HE YAWNS

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Oorgh.

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Feeling the love, Babs?

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No? Oh, well. Maybe it takes a little time to kick in.

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What? Don't think a cup of tea will let you off, you strange little man.

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But Babs...I mean, sir...er...ma'am...

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-just wait a minute. Let it...

-Oh!

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What a lovely bottle!

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Is it perfume?

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What - this antidote?

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I mean, oh, yes! It's perfume! And it's a present for you.

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See it as an apology gift.

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-Crazy times. Come on. Let's get out of here.

-Ssh.

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Now, Plank, I'm going to go outside and sit in the sunshine and dry off.

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Fix my plumbing double quick or you're fired.

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What? She didn't fall in love with me?

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That love potion's a rip off!

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Now I need a cup of tea.

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O-o-oh...

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Oh, that's nice.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello.

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Hi, Mr Prank. I was just in the shower and the water went off.

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-Oh, yeah.

-I don't know what you've done. It was fine before.

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-Can you fix it, please?

-Yes, of course, sir!

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I'll be right round. Toodle-pip. Yeah, bye-bye.

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Oh, a caretaker can't even enjoy a cup of tea in peace.

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Right, Nevvy, let's get this games marathon started!

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KNOCK AT THE DOOR

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-Can you get the door please, Nev?

-OK, Barney.

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It'll be Mr Prank come to fix the water, so...

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Yeah, I know. I better go or I'll be minced koala on toast. Hm!

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DOOR CREAKS

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Hello, Mr Angry-Pants.

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ROMANTIC MUSIC

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Ah!

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A-choo!

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Nev... My little Nevvy!

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I'm feeling the love and my heart is all yours.

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I love you from your head to your cute little paws.

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Oh, yucky.

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Now, come here you furry ball of blue love, you.

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Uh-oh. A-a-a-a-ah!

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Oh, Nevvy!

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-Ah! Ah! Ah!

-Nevvy!

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Nevvy, Nevvy, Nevvy!

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HE PANTS

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Oh! Is that my ice cream?

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Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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Oh, Nevvy, I'm glad you like my ice cream!

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I just want to make you happy.

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-Confused.

-I love you, you lovable little love bear, you!

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Um...Mr Angry-Pants...

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It's so funny when you call me Angry-Pants!

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-Give me a hug, little bear. Come here.

-No.

-Come here.

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-Ah!

-Cuddly bear, come on. A-choo!

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-Icky!

-I love you so much, you make me sneeze. A-choo!

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-Ah! He's lost it! Ah!

-Come here.

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Oh, oh! Ow.

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Oh, that love potion bottle stuck right in my ribs then.

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Fat lot of good that was.

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Come here, bear!

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Mr Prank?

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-Oh.

-Could you do something about the plumbing?

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Oh, yes... Sorry, sir. I was just so pleased to see my Nevvy.

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-Nev, come with me and we'll sort the plumbing out together.

-No, please!

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Barney, help!

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Hey, Barney. Have you seen...? There you are, Mr Prank.

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Hi, Beatrice. Hi. You having problems too?

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The water's stopped coming out of my taps. May I?

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Help yourself. It's thirsty work all that exercise.

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I think I'll join you for a glass of water.

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Thanks.

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It's important, water. Did you know, the human body can't

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-survive without water?

-Yes, Barney.

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Oh, wow!

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Look at you!

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You're gorgeous.

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Gorgeous Barney! I've never noticed that before!

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Look at... Oh! Look at your eyelashes!

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A bit long for a boy, aren't they? Look at your hair. Immaculate.

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Oh, Barney! My Barney.

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I want to touch your lovely hair and never be apart...

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Don't touch it! Sorry about that, Barney.

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Listen, I've got to go, but I'll tell the world how gorgeous you are.

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Give us a kiss. Mwah! Oh, you're so beautiful.

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Barney, come back. Wait for me. I love you.

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I can't live without you.

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HE GASPS

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Yuck! Yuck! Yucky!

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Come here! I'm gonna hug you like you've never been hugged before!

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Ah! No!

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-Ah! Can't love me!

-Neville...

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Come here, Nevvy!

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A-choo!

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Nevvy, I wanna be like you.

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I wanna be blue.

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-Woo-oo!

-Oh...

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Meet me in the bathroom, Nevvy. We need to sort this out.

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Now then.

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Who wants to give his favourite Angry-Pants a snuggly-wuggy-hug?

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No, no, no, no!

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No! No!

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Don't forget. I love you.

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Mm...icky.

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Oh!

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Strewth! I can't believe my eyes.

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Angry-Pants loves you!

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Ugh...mushy.

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Yeah. He's mushier than mushy peas.

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He's up to something.

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If we don't get rid of him, we'll never get to play Kickboxing

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-Kangaroos.

-Oh!

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Nevvy-wevvy!

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I'm waiting for my huggy-wuggy.

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Oh, help!

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Oh, come on, Nevvy! We need one of your bright ideas.

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Hm...

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Ah! I know!

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Ta-da!

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NEV SCREAMS

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Oh. I don't like it when we're not together, Nevvy.

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-Let's stick ourselves together so we never have to be apart.

-Ah!

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Now, please!

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MOBILE RINGS

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-My phone. Who could be calling me?

-Phew-ee.

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Hello.

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G'day... I mean...

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-HIGH VOICE:

-Hello, Plank.

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-Oh, is that you, Miss Barbara?

-Yes, it is.

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I didn't recognise the voice.

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Er...yes, I think I'm getting a cold. A-choo.

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-Bless you.

-Anyway, I need you to do a job right now...on the roof,

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-or you're sacked.

-Oh, sacked! Yeah, brilliant. No more caretaking!

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-That means I can spend my days with Neville.

-Ah!

-Er...

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no, because then you won't be able to live here,

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-so you'll never see him again.

-Oh, no! Don't say that!

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I'm begging you. I can't live without Neville.

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-Mm...

-Hurry up to the roof then, Mr Couldn't-care-less-taker

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-if you want to keep your job.

-I'm right on it.

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And stop making those faces. The wind'll change and you'll be stuck.

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Sorry, Miss Barbara, sir...er...ma'am. Bye.

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I've got to go, Nevvy. Back in no time.

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Don't go changing!

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Mm.

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Plank! What on earth are you doing with those ladders?

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But I thought you said... Oh, never mind!

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Means I can get straight back to Nevvy.

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Oh, you ridiculous little man!

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GAMES CONSOLE BEEPS

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I almost think ice cream's nicer when it's melted.

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Too right, bro!

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-CONSOLE:

-'You're on the next level.'

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Easy-peasy!

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KNOCK AT THE DOOR

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Nevvy-wevvy! I'm back!

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Oh, no. Not again!

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Boo!

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Frightened.

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Oh, Neville. Sometimes I think I love you more than you love me.

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If that love potion had worked on old Barbara, I'd have given

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some to you... A-choo!

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Love potion? Ah!

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Then you'd love me and we could live together for ever.

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-Ah!

-Oh, come here.

-No!

-Come here.

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And I could make you ice cream and... A-choo!

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And me, you and the duckies could eat it every day.

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-Let's go!

-Zoom!

-Run!

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-Woah!

-Woah!

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What's up?

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You're not gonna like this, Nevvy,

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-but Angry-Pants must've drunk a love potion.

-Uh-oh.

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Old Keithy boy's gonna have to work out a way to reverse the potion

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-and stop him from lovie-doving you.

-Quick!

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But how?

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This antidote... I mean, yes! It's perfume and it's a present for you.

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Ah! That's it!

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The antidote! I need to get it back off Aunt Barbara.

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-An antidote will reverse the effect of a love potion.

-Now, please!

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Nev, you just need to keep Angry-Pants entertained

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-for a bit longer.

-Ah, but no, no, no!

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Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!

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Come on, mate. I'm counting on you.

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-Come on, Nev. You can do it, buddy.

-Oh, dear, oh, dear.

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LIFT MUSIC PLAYS

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Woah! Ah.

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Ah! This isn't Nev!

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Oh, where, oh, where is my little Nevvy?

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-Hello, Mr Angry-Pants.

-There you are, Nevvy!

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You had me worried. Come here, you sweet little bear of love.

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-Come to me.

-Ah!

-I'd do anything for a hug.

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Just tell me what you want. Anything at all.

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-Ice cream?

-Ice cream? OK, ice cream it is!

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NEV LAUGHS

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Oh, Bill Oddie...

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you've got a nice beard.

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SHE SNORES

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Oh! I must've fallen asleep!

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Help, help! Barbara. I mean, woof!

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Nevvy, is that you? Are you in trouble?

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Woof, woof!

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I bet that awful Plank is up to his tricks! Don't worry, Nevvy!

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Bar-bar's coming! She will save you!

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Ah-ha!

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HE LAUGHS

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How is it, Nevvy?

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Do you like my ice cream?

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Tip-toparoo!

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What are you doing to Nevvy-wevvy, you horrible little man?

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Wh-what? I would never do anything to hurt my little Neville! A-choo!

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-Ugh.

-You've scared him now!

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Oh, Nevvy-wevvy, come to your Auntie Barbara.

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No, Nevvy-wevvy, come to your Never-angry-again-pants.

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-Come on!

-Come here, Nevvy.

-Ah!

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HE SCAMPERS

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-Nevvy, where are you?

-Come here, Nevvy!

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-Nevvy!

-Neville!

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Nevvy-wevvy!

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BUBBLING

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Oh! Oh, Nev, I'm sinking!

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If I don't make it, I want you to know I'll always love you!

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Yucky.

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-Neville!

-Ah!

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# Da-da-la-da-da-da-da-ah!

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Oh.

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Yo, Barney.

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Hi, Barney.

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Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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Oh, wow.

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That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

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-Oh, Barney, I love you.

-Oh, I love you too!

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And to prove it... I've baked you a cake.

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-Psst! Nevvy boy!

-Crazy Keith.

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-Over here.

-What's that?

-It's the antidote.

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Now go get Angry-Pants.

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-Nevvy!

-Three, two, one, now, please.

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Mr Angry-Pants.

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Oh, Nevvy, there you are, my little...

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er...

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Eh? What's going on?

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-Barney, Barney.

-What?

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Barney? Are you OK, my love?

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NEVILLE: Beetroot.

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I feel really strange.

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OK, why is there a really weird picture of me here?

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-Oh, hey Beatrice! What's that?

-What? What? Oh, nothing.

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Oh! I'm just gonna get something to clean this up.

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Oh. I do feel peculiar. What's going on?

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Bear, where are you?!

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Here I am. Yum, yum.

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-That's my ice cream!

-That was nice of you, Mr Prank,

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-to give Nev your ice cream.

-Love you, Mr Angry-Pants.

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Oh, Bear...

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PIPES CLANK

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WATER GUSHES

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AUNT BARBARA SCREAMS

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Pla-a-a-a-a-ank!

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Sort out the plumbing once and for all or you're fired!

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-Ha! Gotcha Crazy Keith!

-You did too, but you're still not as good

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as Nevvy boy!

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CONSOLE: 'Player one, Nev, wins!'

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-Yeah!

-I win, I win!

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KNOCK AT THE DOOR

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-AUNT BARBARA:

-Hello, boys! Are you awake?

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It's Aunt B. I better go. If she finds a koala, I'll be...

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Coo-ee!

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Wackadoo!

0:21:250:21:27

Plank still hasn't fixed my plumbing and I have no water,

0:21:270:21:31

-so I've taken a glass from your kitchen jug. Night all!

-OK.

0:21:310:21:35

-Night-night.

-Night, Aunt B.

0:21:350:21:38

What's that?

0:21:430:21:44

Uh-oh.

0:21:440:21:46

What a cute little dog!

0:21:460:21:49

Well, hello!

0:21:490:21:52

Strewth! I mean...woof?

0:21:540:21:56

I'm feeling the lo-o-o-ove.

0:21:560:22:00

Has Barney's new doggie got a special kissy for Auntie Barbara?

0:22:000:22:08

-M-m-m-wah!

-He-e-e-e-e-e-elp!

0:22:080:22:12

A day without grief is what caretaker Prank hopes for, but when nagging Aunt Barbara fails to fall under the spell of his love potion, Prank accidentally drinks the mixture himself and falls deeply in love with his arch-nemesis, Nev the bear.

While Nev tries to escape the clutches of the loved-up, not-so-angry Prank, the love potion seeps everywhere and before long Barney gets what he's always wanted. Beatrice falls in love with him but thanks to the spell, poor Barney has fallen so much in love with himself he's unable to notice.