Comedy series. Aunt Barbara tasks her niece Melanie with making jam. Melanie decides to steal Prank's mum's prizewinning preserve instead, with disastrous consequences.
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That's it, Mel, nearly there.
Shut up, you're putting me off!
Ladies don't moan and groan, Melanie.
You're making something so simple seem very hard!
There we go. All finished.
Aww, maybe I should have a go
at the old skateboarding to keep in shape, Doris.
You know, like Nev's doing. Ha!
Gotta be more fun that this diet you've got me on!
Oh... Can't I have one sweetie, sweetie?
Oh, all right then. Lentil stew for brekkie, it is.
STOMACH GROANS DANGEROUSLY
Maybe I could stomach this with a little marshmallow garnish?
Or if I knew there was a nice, gloopy pud for afters.
Oh! Pud! ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYS
What's that over there, Doris?
Ha! No more lentils for me!
I despair of you, young lady, I really do.
-But Aunt Barbara, he made me drop the book!
That's right, blame the lovely little pooch.
WHINES LIKE A DOG
Wait for it, wait for it!
At this rate you won't get past the front gates of the finishing school
for posh young ladies!
That's a shame cos I really wanted to go(!)
Oh, come on, Aunt Barbara. I think you're being a nit harsh.
I thought Melanie's attempt at flower-arranging was very creative.
Oh! That's where it got to.
And her ballroom dancing on the whole wasn't that bad...
Waltz, darlings, waltz!
Ow, ow! Watch me foot! Ow!
-It's not my fault!
-You're standing on my feet!
Oh, I give up.
FUNKY MUSIC STARTS
Hmm... And she did show some promise in table etiquette...
SLURPING COMES FROM NEV
Good gravy! At last!
That wasn't me. It was him, it was him!
That's right. Blame poor little Nevvy!
Yes, Barney, dear.
But Melanie still has a lot to learn.
Don't you have that silly television job of yours to go to?
Go on, chop-chop!
OK. Bye, everyone.
Thanks a lot, Nev.
You've really landed me in it - as usual.
Nevvy. I've made you a special jam sandwich
with the last of the jam.
Huh! Jam! Uhhhh!
Come on, Melanie, let's try the book balancing again.
Oi! Crazy Keith. Mine!
Sorry, Nev, mate, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh! Oh, my stomach's makin' some weird noises...
Oh, phwar. That's what I call a lentil turbo-boost.
Oh... Oh! RUMBLING
Here comes another... PARRRRRRRP!
Oh... Uh-oh... RUMBLING
Oh. Three new flavours...
What was that?!
Was that you, bear?
Go-go-ices are bringing out three new flavours this week.
Ahh. I'm gonna have to come up with some new ones for Pranks' Ice Cream
just to stand a chance of earning enough cash
to quit this crumby caretaker's job.
Well... Maybe Mummy could give me some inspiration. Hee-hee!
Help me, Mummy.
What would you say to me if you were here right now?
I'd say, you were a useless, good-for-nothing caretaker
who's never had an original thought in his life.
Oh. Forget I asked.
What was that?
Flaming lentils. Argh!
Was that you, Mummy?
Or was it you, bear?
HE WHIMPERS Help!
What was that?
Where did that come from?
Wait a minute.
Jam sandwich-flavoured ice-cream. Ha-ha!
Why has nobody thought of that before?!
Oh! Did you do this, Mummy?
Did you send me...inspiration?
Oh! Thank you!
-That was Plank's fault!
-Oh, so sue me. I don't care.
I just invented the best flavour of ice cream ever, ever, ever.
Jam sandwich-flavoured ice cream!
Thank you, bear.
Now, if I could just borrow some jam...
I thought I hear you, Plank.
-Now why would a caretaker be wanting jam?
Miss Barbara, sir... Ma'am! I didn't see you there.
Jam, you say...
There's no jam left. I've just used the last in a sandwich for Nevvy.
Well, yes, Miss Barbara. Well, I must be off.
And what an excellent suggestion.
Every young lady must learn how to make jam.
Melanie must do the same.
Well done, you.
Oh, yes. Absolutely Miss Barbara, sir... Ma'am!
Oh and by the way, I've asked you a million times to find out who owns
that decrepit old ice cream van outside.
Decrepit... Ice cream van?
Yes, So will you now phone the council and ask them to tow it away?
Honestly, call yourself a caretaker?
Couldn't-care-less-taker, more like.
Well, right, I'll see what I can do.
Now I'm just off to the tanning salon.
And Melanie, when I return, you will have made the best jam ever
and be able to do cartwheels
without that book so much as falling off your head.
-And if you can't do that,
there'll be no pocket money for a whole month. Understand?
And as for you, Plank, get that ice cream van OUT OF HERE!
Go on, MOVE MAN, get it out!
This is your fault, Nev.
So, if I do what Aunt Barbara wants,
then I get sent to some poxy, posh school.
But if I don't, then I get no pocket money.
So looks like I'm gonna have to make jam.
Hmm. Poor Smelanie.
Look, this is your fault. So if I lose my pocket money,
then I'm raiding your piggy bank. DOOR OPENS
-This is now officially a crisis!
My best idea ever could be doomed.
There's no jam in the building!
Mr Jammy Pants!
Oh. thanks for your sympathy, Plank.
Yeah, no jam means no pocket money for me.
What?! No, I'm not crying because of that.
I'm crying because there's no other choice.
No other path down which I can travel.
When I said earlier there wasn't a single pot of jam in this building,
I... It wasn't strictly true...
In fact, there is one special jar
that I've kept under lock and key for many a year.
It's a 1991 vintage of Mummy's secret recipe.
The last ever yummy pot of her preserve! Arrrrrgh!
Or maybe that was Mummy's message to me, after all.
Maybe it is time to open it up and...
taste the magic...
And you'd do that? For me?
Oh, Mr Prank! I don't know what to say!
No, no, I'm not doing it for you, you stupid girl.
I need that to make my jam sandwich-flavoured ice cream.
Make ME rich! Ha-ha!
No... Problemo solved!
I'm gonna borrow that jam.
Then, when Aunt Barbara tries it, I'm gonna say I made it.
Then, we'll put the jam back.
Aunt Barbara's happy, Prank's none the wiser,
and I get my pocket money! Sorted.
It's gonna be tough. We both might not make it.
But whatever it takes, we need that jam.
Are you with me?
Here he comes.
Silly Mr Prank! Can't make jam sandwich ice cream
without your mega mixing bucket.
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
OK, split up.
We haven't got long.
Can't you use your bear sense of smell to sniff out the jam?
-Shhh! Nevvy, shhh!
Listen, you didn't see me and if Doris asks, I wasn't here.
And I wasn't eating. OK, buddy?
Too right, bro.
Have you found something?
Erm... Socks, socks!
Yeah, me too.
What are ya hunting for, mate?
-Oh, yeah. Sorry about nicking the jam sarnie. Ha-ha!
It's just that I was on a health kick and now I'm not and...
-Here I am.
-There seems to be a secret door at the back.
ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYS
-SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL
Whackadoo! Keith to the rescue as per. Rar-rar-rar!
-KEITH BARKS LIKE A DOG
All right, mate. It was just me. Listen.
BARKS LIKE A DOG
Calm down, ya dingbat. Can't ya see what I've done? Bandit's gone!
So grab the jammy treasure.
Oh, and I want my share! Fair dinkum, yeah?
I don't know how, but we've got it!
Come on, Nev. Let's go!
Need to be quick.
Aunt Barbara might be back from the tanning salon any second
and this must look like I've just made it.
There's no time to taste it.
I suppose a quick taste wouldn't hurt.
Yeah, yeah, open it! Open it!
OK but I get first dab.
-What are you gonna do now?
Fine. What are WE gonna do now?
Hmm. Poor Mr Angry Pants.
Never mind him, what about me?
I can't impress Aunt Barbara with jam that's been on the floor.
Quick. Let's scoop it up.
MELANIE: Oi! Arrrgh!
Oh, no! Look at the room.
This is well naughty.
Yeuch! Is jam usually this sticky?
Ah-ha! A roll around Barney's floor will wipe me clean. Bonza!
Messy. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
You started it.
Huh! No way, jose!
Yeuch. Right, that should have got me free of all that muck.
Digemy-doo-dah! Oh, oh! Argh!
I'm stickin' to everything and everything's stickin' to me!
Look, we've got to clean this up before Barney gets home.
There's so much jam everywhere
and it's so sticky...
Yeah. Me too!
Thanks again for sending me the inspiration, Mummy.
So, here goes!
That's strange. Bandit, where are ya?
Eh. Some guard cat you turned out to be.
Arghhh! The jam!
Doris! Nevvy! Somebody help me. Argh!
I've turned into a monster. Whackadoo!
There's a jam thief on the loose! Arrrrrrrgh!
Help me, help me!
What on earth was that?
What happened to me door?
Are you OK?
Have you got Mummy's cherry jammy?
Then, no. Everything is not all right. Arrrrrrgh!
It's been nicked. And I reckon that cousin of yours
and that little blue bear have got something to do with it.
They're a pair of nickers!
What? Nev and Melanie? Come on.
They'd never get involved in anything like this.
Go and ask them yourself if you don't believe me.
-All right, I will then.
What's gone on here?
Oh, no! Oh, say it isn't so!
Tell me it isn't Mummy's jam?!
Hmm... Cherry jammy yucky.
Er, look... Ruined.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
I'll get you, bear.
Can't catch me!
What... I'm stuck too!
Come here, bear!
He's a little blue rascal, isn't he, him?
Yeah, so you should be, Nev.
You're in big trouble, mate.
Same goes for you, Melanie.
So much for brushing up on your etiquette.
Now, how am I going to make jam sandwich ice cream now, bear?
Oh, no! You're stuck to me now, bear!
Arrrrgh! It's like being on a rollercoaster that just won't stop!
I do wish people would keep their doggies on a lead.
Now, what have you got to say for yourself, missy?
Look, Mr Prank, I'm sure there's an explanation, OK.
Let's just talk about this sensibly.
See - nothing to say, is there? Except guilty as sin!
Nev, are you actually stuck to Mr Prank?
Erm, yeah, yeah.
Erm, do you want, erm, a hand?
-Oh, no thanks, Mr Barney, sir.
-I'll deal with these two ruffians...
-I'm out of here.
Well, that is very clever of you, dear.
But when I said you had to do a handstand with a book on your head,
I didn't mean you to do it quite so literally!
STOP! Jam thief!
Oh! That is horrible, disgusting jam!
Oh, no, sir... Ma'am. That can't be right.
You must be wrong.
Oh, no! Mummy's jam's gone off!
All that for nothing!
What are you mumbling about? I see that van is still outside, Plank?
Yes, sir... Ma'am! Yes.
Well go and sort it out, you dunderhead.
And no more pocket money for you, Melanie.
Oh, that jam tasted like rat poison.
-Well I can see that a finishing school
for posh young ladies is essential.
-Well, I hope you've learned your lesson today, mate.
That wasn't Melanie's jam to take.
You should have refused to take any part in her scheme.
-I thought Keith was gonna have to sleep in the garden
-but your plan to get him though the window worked.
Now we've gotta work a way to squeeze him
back through the floorboards, into his layer tomorrow.
Come on budge up.
Go on, I'm bigger than that. Thank you.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Doris, yeah. Just a glass of milk...
Determined to make a proper young lady of Melanie, Aunt Barbara tasks her niece with making jam.
Melanie is clueless, so when Mr Prank lets it slip that one sacred pot of his mummy's prizewinning preserve is hidden somewhere in his flat, Melanie plots to steal it and pass it off as her own, with disastrous consequences.