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Jamageddon Bear Behaving Badly

Jamageddon

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Transcript

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That's it, Mel, nearly there.

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Shut up, you're putting me off!

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SHE WHIMPERS

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Ladies don't moan and groan, Melanie.

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You're making something so simple seem very hard!

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Yeah, yeah.

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Easy-peasy!

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Hmm. Tiptoperoo!

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NEV YELLS

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There we go. All finished.

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Whoa!

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-Ow!

-Ow!

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Oh-oh-oh...!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Aww, maybe I should have a go

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at the old skateboarding to keep in shape, Doris.

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You know, like Nev's doing. Ha!

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Gotta be more fun that this diet you've got me on!

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Oh... Can't I have one sweetie, sweetie?

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Oh, all right then. Lentil stew for brekkie, it is.

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STOMACH GROANS DANGEROUSLY

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Maybe I could stomach this with a little marshmallow garnish?

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Or if I knew there was a nice, gloopy pud for afters.

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Oh! Pud! ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYS

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Oh! Doris!

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What's that over there, Doris?

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MUSIC STARTS

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Ha! No more lentils for me!

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Ho-ho!

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I despair of you, young lady, I really do.

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-But Aunt Barbara, he made me drop the book!

-Barney?

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No, Nev.

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That's right, blame the lovely little pooch.

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Nev! Treat?

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Woof, woof!

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WHINES LIKE A DOG

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Wait for it, wait for it!

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And go!

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Good doggy.

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At this rate you won't get past the front gates of the finishing school

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for posh young ladies!

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That's a shame cos I really wanted to go(!)

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Oh, come on, Aunt Barbara. I think you're being a nit harsh.

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I thought Melanie's attempt at flower-arranging was very creative.

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Oh! That's where it got to.

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And her ballroom dancing on the whole wasn't that bad...

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Waltz, darlings, waltz!

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Ow, ow! Watch me foot! Ow!

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-Huh!

-It's not my fault!

-You're standing on my feet!

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Oh, I give up.

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FUNKY MUSIC STARTS

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Wowee! Heehee!

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Hmm... And she did show some promise in table etiquette...

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SLURPING COMES FROM NEV

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Good gravy! At last!

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NEV BURPS

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That wasn't me. It was him, it was him!

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That's right. Blame poor little Nevvy!

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Yes, Barney, dear.

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But Melanie still has a lot to learn.

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Great(!)

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Don't you have that silly television job of yours to go to?

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Go on, chop-chop!

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OK. Bye, everyone.

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Thanks a lot, Nev.

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You've really landed me in it - as usual.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Nevvy. I've made you a special jam sandwich

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with the last of the jam.

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Huh! Yum-yum!

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HE SNIFFS

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Huh! Jam! Uhhhh!

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-Good doggy.

-Woof-woof, Barbara!

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Come on, Melanie, let's try the book balancing again.

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Oi! Crazy Keith. Mine!

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Sorry, Nev, mate, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

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Oh! Oh, my stomach's makin' some weird noises...

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RUMBLING

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-PARRRRP!

-Yucky.

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Oh, phwar. That's what I call a lentil turbo-boost.

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Oh... Oh! RUMBLING

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Here comes another... PARRRRRRRP!

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Oh... Uh-oh... RUMBLING

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Oh. Three new flavours...

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PARRRRRRRP! Whoa!

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What was that?!

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Was that you, bear?

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Ewwww! Ewww!

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-KEITH WHIMPERS

-Argh!

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Go-go-ices are bringing out three new flavours this week.

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Ahh. I'm gonna have to come up with some new ones for Pranks' Ice Cream

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just to stand a chance of earning enough cash

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to quit this crumby caretaker's job.

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-Argh...

-Whackadoo...

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Well... Maybe Mummy could give me some inspiration. Hee-hee!

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Help me, Mummy.

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What would you say to me if you were here right now?

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I'd say, you were a useless, good-for-nothing caretaker

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who's never had an original thought in his life.

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Oh. Forget I asked.

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PARP!

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What was that?

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Flaming lentils. Argh!

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Was that you, Mummy?

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Or was it you, bear?

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HE WHIMPERS Help!

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What was that?

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Where did that come from?

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Jam sandwich?

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Wait a minute.

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Jam sandwich-flavoured ice-cream. Ha-ha!

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Why has nobody thought of that before?!

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Oh! Did you do this, Mummy?

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Did you send me...inspiration?

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ORGAN PLAYS

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Oh! Thank you!

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Easy-peasy, Smelanie.

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EUREKA!

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-That was Plank's fault!

-Angry Pants!

-Oh, so sue me. I don't care.

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Achoo!

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I just invented the best flavour of ice cream ever, ever, ever.

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Jam sandwich-flavoured ice cream!

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Oh! Yum-yum!

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Thank you, bear.

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Now, if I could just borrow some jam...

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Oh!

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I thought I hear you, Plank.

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-Now why would a caretaker be wanting jam?

-Oops!

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Miss Barbara, sir... Ma'am! I didn't see you there.

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Jam, you say...

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There's no jam left. I've just used the last in a sandwich for Nevvy.

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Yum-yum!

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Well, yes, Miss Barbara. Well, I must be off.

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And what an excellent suggestion.

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Every young lady must learn how to make jam.

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Melanie must do the same.

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Well done, you.

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Oh, yes. Absolutely Miss Barbara, sir... Ma'am!

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Oh and by the way, I've asked you a million times to find out who owns

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that decrepit old ice cream van outside.

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Decrepit... Ice cream van?

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Yes, So will you now phone the council and ask them to tow it away?

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Honestly, call yourself a caretaker?

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Couldn't-care-less-taker, more like.

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Well, right, I'll see what I can do.

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Now I'm just off to the tanning salon.

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Hee!

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And Melanie, when I return, you will have made the best jam ever

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and be able to do cartwheels

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without that book so much as falling off your head.

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-No way!

-And if you can't do that,

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there'll be no pocket money for a whole month. Understand?

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But, Aunt!

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And as for you, Plank, get that ice cream van OUT OF HERE!

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Go on, MOVE MAN, get it out!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, funny.

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This is your fault, Nev.

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So, if I do what Aunt Barbara wants,

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then I get sent to some poxy, posh school.

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But if I don't, then I get no pocket money.

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So looks like I'm gonna have to make jam.

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Hmm. Poor Smelanie.

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Look, this is your fault. So if I lose my pocket money,

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then I'm raiding your piggy bank. DOOR OPENS

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-SOBS

-This is now officially a crisis!

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My best idea ever could be doomed.

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There's no jam in the building!

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Mr Jammy Pants!

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Arghhhhh!

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Oh. thanks for your sympathy, Plank.

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Yeah, no jam means no pocket money for me.

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-SOBS:

-Jam...

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What?! No, I'm not crying because of that.

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I'm crying because there's no other choice.

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No other path down which I can travel.

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When I said earlier there wasn't a single pot of jam in this building,

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I... It wasn't strictly true...

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Oh?

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Go on?

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In fact, there is one special jar

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that I've kept under lock and key for many a year.

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It's a 1991 vintage of Mummy's secret recipe.

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The last ever yummy pot of her preserve! Arrrrrgh!

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Jaaaaam!

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Yes. Jam...

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Oh!

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Or maybe that was Mummy's message to me, after all.

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Maybe it is time to open it up and...

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taste the magic...

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Yeah, yeah.

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And you'd do that? For me?

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Oh, Mr Prank! I don't know what to say!

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What?

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No, no, I'm not doing it for you, you stupid girl.

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I need that to make my jam sandwich-flavoured ice cream.

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Make ME rich! Ha-ha!

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Mundo problemo.

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No... Problemo solved!

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I'm gonna borrow that jam.

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Then, when Aunt Barbara tries it, I'm gonna say I made it.

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Then, we'll put the jam back.

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Aunt Barbara's happy, Prank's none the wiser,

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and I get my pocket money! Sorted.

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Frightened.

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It's gonna be tough. We both might not make it.

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But whatever it takes, we need that jam.

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Are you with me?

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Hmm...

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Uh-oh...

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Here he comes.

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Silly Mr Prank! Can't make jam sandwich ice cream

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without your mega mixing bucket.

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DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

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Run!

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OK, split up.

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Aye-aye, captain.

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Hmm... Hmm...

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We haven't got long.

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Can't you use your bear sense of smell to sniff out the jam?

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Hmm. OK.

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NEV SNIFFS

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Hmm...

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-Huh? Keith?!

-Shhh! Nevvy, shhh!

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Listen, you didn't see me and if Doris asks, I wasn't here.

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And I wasn't eating. OK, buddy?

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Too right, bro.

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Nev?

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Have you found something?

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Erm... Socks, socks!

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Yeah, me too.

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FLIES BUZZ

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Keep looking.

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What are ya hunting for, mate?

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-Jam.

-Oh, yeah. Sorry about nicking the jam sarnie. Ha-ha!

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It's just that I was on a health kick and now I'm not and...

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Nev?

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HOLLOW KNOCKING

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-Nev?

-Here I am.

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-There seems to be a secret door at the back.

-Huh!

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DOORBELL RINGS

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ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYS

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Meow!

0:13:020:13:04

-Bandit!

-SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL

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MEWS MENACINGLY

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Whackadoo! Keith to the rescue as per. Rar-rar-rar!

0:13:110:13:14

-KEITH BARKS LIKE A DOG

-MEOWWWW!

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Argh...

0:13:170:13:19

All right, mate. It was just me. Listen.

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BARKS LIKE A DOG

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NEV WHIMPERS

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Calm down, ya dingbat. Can't ya see what I've done? Bandit's gone!

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So grab the jammy treasure.

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Oh, and I want my share! Fair dinkum, yeah?

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I don't know how, but we've got it!

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Come on, Nev. Let's go!

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Hmm...

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NEV SNIFFS

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Need to be quick.

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Aunt Barbara might be back from the tanning salon any second

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and this must look like I've just made it.

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Hmm. Hungry!

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There's no time to taste it.

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Oh, please?

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Well...

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I suppose a quick taste wouldn't hurt.

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Ohhh...!

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Yeah, yeah, open it! Open it!

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OK but I get first dab.

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Jam!

0:14:100:14:12

NEV!

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Oops.

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-What are you gonna do now?

-What?

0:14:170:14:20

Fine. What are WE gonna do now?

0:14:200:14:22

Hmm. Poor Mr Angry Pants.

0:14:220:14:25

Never mind him, what about me?

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I can't impress Aunt Barbara with jam that's been on the floor.

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Quick. Let's scoop it up.

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Messy.

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Oi!

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Huh...

0:14:430:14:44

Oh! Yum!

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Oh...

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MELANIE: Oi! Arrrgh!

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Oh, no! Look at the room.

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Oops...

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This is well naughty.

0:15:120:15:14

Yeuch. Oh...

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Oh, whackadoo!

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Yeuch! Is jam usually this sticky?

0:15:190:15:21

Ah-ha! A roll around Barney's floor will wipe me clean. Bonza!

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Messy. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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You started it.

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Huh! No way, jose!

0:15:360:15:39

Yeuch. Right, that should have got me free of all that muck.

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HE PANTS

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Digemy-doo-dah! Oh, oh! Argh!

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I'm stickin' to everything and everything's stickin' to me!

0:15:480:15:52

HE GRUNTS

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Look, we've got to clean this up before Barney gets home.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Whoa!

0:16:000:16:01

Oh...

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There's so much jam everywhere

0:16:050:16:09

and it's so sticky...

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Oh, stuck!

0:16:130:16:15

Yeah. Me too!

0:16:170:16:19

Thanks again for sending me the inspiration, Mummy.

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So, here goes!

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Yeah, right.

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That's strange. Bandit, where are ya?

0:16:420:16:45

Eh. Some guard cat you turned out to be.

0:16:450:16:49

RINGS DOORBELL

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Arghhh! The jam!

0:16:520:16:54

It's...

0:16:540:16:55

GONE!

0:16:550:16:56

Doris! Nevvy! Somebody help me. Argh!

0:16:590:17:03

I've turned into a monster. Whackadoo!

0:17:030:17:07

STOP! Anybody!

0:17:090:17:11

There's a jam thief on the loose! Arrrrrrrgh!

0:17:110:17:15

Whoa! Whackadoo!

0:17:150:17:17

Help me, help me!

0:17:170:17:20

What on earth was that?

0:17:200:17:22

HE SOBS

0:17:240:17:27

Mr Prank?

0:17:290:17:31

What happened to me door?

0:17:310:17:32

HE WHIMPERS

0:17:320:17:34

Are you OK?

0:17:340:17:35

Have you got Mummy's cherry jammy?

0:17:350:17:39

Erm... No.

0:17:390:17:41

Then, no. Everything is not all right. Arrrrrrgh!

0:17:410:17:47

It's been nicked. And I reckon that cousin of yours

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and that little blue bear have got something to do with it.

0:17:500:17:53

They're a pair of nickers!

0:17:530:17:57

What? Nev and Melanie? Come on.

0:17:570:17:59

They'd never get involved in anything like this.

0:17:590:18:02

Go and ask them yourself if you don't believe me.

0:18:020:18:04

-WHIMPERS:

-All right, I will then.

0:18:040:18:06

What's gone on here?

0:18:120:18:14

Oh, no! Oh, say it isn't so!

0:18:140:18:17

Tell me it isn't Mummy's jam?!

0:18:170:18:21

Hmm... Cherry jammy yucky.

0:18:210:18:24

Look!

0:18:260:18:28

Gone!

0:18:280:18:30

Er, look... Ruined.

0:18:300:18:33

Melanie? Nev?

0:18:330:18:35

Look! Stuck!

0:18:350:18:38

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

0:18:380:18:41

You monsters!

0:18:410:18:43

I'll get you, bear.

0:18:430:18:46

Can't catch me!

0:18:460:18:48

What... I'm stuck too!

0:18:500:18:52

Come here, bear!

0:18:520:18:54

Barney, Barney!

0:18:550:18:56

Oh! Ha-ha!

0:18:580:19:00

He's a little blue rascal, isn't he, him?

0:19:000:19:03

Frightened.

0:19:030:19:05

Yeah, so you should be, Nev.

0:19:050:19:07

You're in big trouble, mate.

0:19:070:19:09

Same goes for you, Melanie.

0:19:090:19:11

So much for brushing up on your etiquette.

0:19:110:19:13

-Arrrgh!

-Oh!

0:19:130:19:14

-Got ya!

-No!

0:19:140:19:16

Now, how am I going to make jam sandwich ice cream now, bear?

0:19:160:19:22

Oh...!

0:19:220:19:23

Oh, no! You're stuck to me now, bear!

0:19:250:19:28

Arrrrgh! It's like being on a rollercoaster that just won't stop!

0:19:300:19:34

HE WHIMPERS

0:19:340:19:36

I do wish people would keep their doggies on a lead.

0:19:360:19:41

-Help!

-Ssh, bear.

0:19:410:19:43

Now, what have you got to say for yourself, missy?

0:19:430:19:46

Mmmm-mmmm!

0:19:460:19:47

Look, Mr Prank, I'm sure there's an explanation, OK.

0:19:470:19:50

Let's just talk about this sensibly.

0:19:500:19:52

See - nothing to say, is there? Except guilty as sin!

0:19:520:19:56

Nev, are you actually stuck to Mr Prank?

0:19:560:19:58

Erm, yeah, yeah.

0:19:580:20:00

Erm, do you want, erm, a hand?

0:20:000:20:03

-Oh, no thanks, Mr Barney, sir.

-Arrrrgh!

0:20:030:20:07

-I'll deal with these two ruffians...

-I'm out of here.

0:20:070:20:11

Well, that is very clever of you, dear.

0:20:170:20:19

But when I said you had to do a handstand with a book on your head,

0:20:190:20:23

I didn't mean you to do it quite so literally!

0:20:230:20:25

STOP! Jam thief!

0:20:250:20:28

Oh! That is horrible, disgusting jam!

0:20:330:20:36

-PRANK:

-Eh?

0:20:360:20:38

Oh, no, sir... Ma'am. That can't be right.

0:20:380:20:40

You must be wrong.

0:20:400:20:42

Oh, no! Mummy's jam's gone off!

0:20:430:20:46

All that for nothing!

0:20:460:20:48

What are you mumbling about? I see that van is still outside, Plank?

0:20:480:20:53

Yes, sir... Ma'am! Yes.

0:20:530:20:54

Well go and sort it out, you dunderhead.

0:20:540:20:57

And no more pocket money for you, Melanie.

0:20:570:21:00

Oh, that jam tasted like rat poison.

0:21:000:21:03

POP!

0:21:030:21:04

-But, Aunt...

-Well I can see that a finishing school

0:21:040:21:07

for posh young ladies is essential.

0:21:070:21:09

Oh...

0:21:110:21:13

-Well, I hope you've learned your lesson today, mate.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:21:150:21:18

That wasn't Melanie's jam to take.

0:21:180:21:20

You should have refused to take any part in her scheme.

0:21:200:21:23

-Sorry, Barney.

-I thought Keith was gonna have to sleep in the garden

0:21:230:21:26

-but your plan to get him though the window worked.

-Groovy!

0:21:260:21:30

Now we've gotta work a way to squeeze him

0:21:300:21:32

back through the floorboards, into his layer tomorrow.

0:21:320:21:35

Come on budge up.

0:21:350:21:38

Go on, I'm bigger than that. Thank you.

0:21:380:21:41

Night, Nev.

0:21:410:21:43

KEITH SNORES

0:21:430:21:45

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

0:21:450:21:46

Doris, yeah. Just a glass of milk...

0:21:510:21:54

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