Freaky Fur Day Bear Behaving Badly


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Freaky Fur Day

Comedy series. Nev and Mr Prank are swallowed up by the beanbag in the living room. Barney gets a shock as he pulls them free, only to find they've swapped bodies.


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Transcript


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How about this trumpet? Do you want to keep that?

0:00:200:00:24

-No way, Jose.

-OK.

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Erm, wetsuit?

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Er...

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You never did wear it much.

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We've put loads of stuff in there.

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The charity shop will love us!

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Blue bears will queue round the block for that wetsuit.

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-Too right, bro.

-What about this storybook?

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Barney!

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Come on, Nev. Jack And The Beanstalk?

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When was the last time you read that? Don't give me the sad face...

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OK, you win. The box is probably full anyway.

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Eh?

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It's empty! But we've been putting stuff in there all morning!

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NEV GASPS

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Magic box!

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No,

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I don't think so...

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Let me try something.

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OK, Nev, I'm now gonna put the scarf in the box.

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Scarf! Nice!

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That's strange, I can feel something on the end of this scarf!

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It's almost as if someone's in the box!

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Ah! G'day, Nevvy, Barney!

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-Crazy Keith!

-I thought as much.

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-Crazy Keith's been stealing our stuff.

-Stealing? How dare ya!

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I just hate to see a good trumpet go to waste!

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We're taking it to a charity shop.

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I'm a charity. Save The Koala! We're an endangered species.

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Even so, you don't need my scarf.

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-But I like it!

-No, it's my scarf...

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Ahhhhh! My scarf... HE FALLS DOWN DEEP HOLE

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CRASH Ow!

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I'll have the rest of the stuff back, please!

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Nev, no more messing about. Let's get the stuff in the box.

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But, no, no, no, no!

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Why keep it? You never read it.

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Magic beans. Now, please!

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OK, how about I read it one last time,

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especially the part with the magic beans, then we give it away?

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Yeah, yeah!

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-This used to scare you. Sure you'll be OK?

-Can't scare me!

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All right, then.

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Once upon a time, there was a young boy called Jack.

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Jack lived with his mother...

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NEV LAUGHS

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CLOCK TICKS

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..And the giant roared,

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"Fe-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!

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"Be he alive or..."

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Oh, come on, Nev, it's only a story!

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-Frightened!

-I know, but it's not real!

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There's no such thing as evil giants in real life. Absolutely no...

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< Roooooaaaarrrr!

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NEV SCREAMS

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I smell the blood of a little blue bear

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who left muddy paw-prints in my clean hallway!

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Be he ali...

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Oh, hello Mr Barney, sir! I thought you'd be at work.

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Hi, Mr Prank. I took the day off. I've got clearing out to do.

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Ooh, an excellent idea!

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Always a good idea to get rid of the rubbish,

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and throw away the useless stuff you don't need.

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Did you mention muddy paw-prints?

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Did I? Er, no, I... Oh, yes! Don't worry about it.

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Anyone could've left them.

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Probably did it myself!

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Anyway...ooh, look at the time. I've got to be off.

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Thanks for the invite, goodbye, Mr Barney, bear...

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HE SNEEZES

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I'll...I'll see you later.

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Er, where was I?

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Frightened.

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Ah, yes. No such thing as evil giants,

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no such thing as golden hens,

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and no such thing as magic beans.

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Jack And The Beanstalk, goodbye!

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< Bonzer! Thanks, Barnster!

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Keith!

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Catch you later!

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Bring that book back! And the rest of our stuff!

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Hmm...hmm...

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magic beans...

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Hmm...magic beans...

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Yum, yum!

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Three, two, one...

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Magic!

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Now, please!

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Hmm...

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HE FARTS

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Oops!

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HE SNIFFS AROUND

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HE GASPS

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Magic beans!

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Yeah-yeah!

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Magic beans!

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Three, two, one...

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Magic! Now, please!

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Hmm...

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nothing.

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HE BURPS

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Hmm...

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HE GASPS

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Magic beans! Beanie bag!

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Ha-ha! Jibbidy-ya!

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Ha-ha! Magic beanbag!

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Jibbidy-ya!

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Magic beans!

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BUBBLING

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Oh, it's no good. Keith wouldn't give me the book back.

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We'll have to just...

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Nev?

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Nev? Where have you gone?

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Barney?

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Nev?

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I'll get my hands on that bear eventually, Bandit!

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BANDIT MEOWS

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And when I do...

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Oh, there you are, Prank. Lazing about on the floor as usual.

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-One of these days I'll actually find you doing some caretaking.

-I have!

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Do you know these skirting boards haven't been painted for over a week?

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-But Miss...

-Caretaker, caretaker, couldn't-care-less-taker!

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That's what you are, Plank.

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Sometimes I think we'd be better off employing a peanut to run this place.

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Hey, Barbara, Mr Prank. Have you seen Nev?

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-Has he gone missing?

-Er, I think he has.

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Oh. I do hope he isn't lost forever, and ever, and ever!

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Of course not!

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We'll go searching for him.

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Won't we, Plank?

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-Will we?

-Yes.

-Yes, we will.

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Thanks, Barbara. I'll start upstairs.

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Up you get then, Plank.

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Nap time's over. Come on!

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Nev? Where are you?

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I'll check Mr Barney's flat, then.

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BANDIT MEOWS AND GRUMBLES

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Here, Bear! Come to Mr Prank!

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Stupid bear!

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I hope he's gone for good.

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It would make my life a lot easier...

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As if I'm gonna waste my time searching for that blue furball!

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Let those mugs search for him on their own.

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Ooh, hello! Oh, yes!

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Ooh. Now that's comfortable, yes!

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BUBBLING

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A man could get used to this sort of luxury!

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-Oh yeah, this is the life!

-BUBBLING

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Ooh! Oh, no! Help! I'm sinking! Help!

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Bandit! Mr Barney! HELP!

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Strewth! Angry Pants is being eaten alive!

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I'd better notify Nevvy and the Barnster!

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Nevvy! Barney! Emergency!

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Keith, are you serious? The beanbag has eaten Mr Prank?

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Saw it with my own eyes, mate!

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Sucked him in like a smoothie through a straw!

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I know he's an old angry pants, but we still need to rescue him!

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I'd better throw him a line.

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I still can't understand how a grown man can fall into...

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Whoa! Something's pulling on it. Something heavy.

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He's alive!

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Looks like you've caught yourself a caretaker,

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and I don't wanna be around when you land him! Catch you later!

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Nev?

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Prank?

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Hang on...

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Hang on.

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BUBBLING

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Come and have a sit down.

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There you go.

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Nev?

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Mr Prank?

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Well, say something!

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-NEV'S VOICE:

-Love you, Barney!

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-PRANK'S VOICE:

-Where am I?

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I'm sorry. Are you OK?

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-Ti-topperoo!

-I think so!

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Mr Prank, are you sure you're all right?

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Of course I'm all right, Mr Barney, sir. Very good of you to ask!

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Nev?

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Here I am!

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OK, something very strange has happened here.

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Don't worry about me, sir.

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Cup of tea and a sit down and I'll be as right as rain.

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Oh well, better get back to the skirting boards.

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Who's that handsome fellow with Mr Barney?

0:09:070:09:12

Seems familiar somehow...

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Nev? Is that you?

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Feel icky!

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I'm not surprised, mate!

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It looks like that beanbag's got magic powers!

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-It's swapped your body with Mr Prank's!

-Confused!

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I'm sure you are, but we can work it out.

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-Magic beanbag!

-No, don't go back in there!

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We don't know what else it might do.

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-I'm sure it'll wear off sooner or later.

-Frightened.

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I know you are, but I'll look after you.

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HE SOBS

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Love you, Barney!

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Yeah, I...I...

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I love you too, mate.

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-IN MR PRANK'S VOICE:

-Huh. Something's not quite right here.

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BANDIT MEOWS AGGRESSIVELY

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I can't quite put my finger on it, but...

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Ow! Bandit, get off me, you stupid moggy!

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Get off! It's me! Mr Prank! Your master!

0:10:070:10:11

I said...get off!

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SMASH

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Anyone would think I was a little blue bear.

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Ahhhhhhhh!

0:10:240:10:26

I am a little blue bear!

0:10:260:10:29

HE SNEEZES

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Oh, no! I'm allergic to myself!

0:10:330:10:37

HE SNEEZES

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Yum, yum!

0:10:450:10:46

See, Nev? We can still have fun.

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Jam!

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Yeah.

0:10:510:10:53

Erm, maybe we should get back to the clearing-out.

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Er, I dunno.

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OK...

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Parrot, sauce bottle, slipper...don't need that...

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what about this T-shirt, Nev?

0:11:050:11:09

No, no, no, no!

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It won't fit you any more. You'll have to lose a lot of weight.

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No...oh!

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Mondo problemo!

0:11:180:11:20

Right.

0:11:200:11:22

Come on, let's... let's get you cleaned up.

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-OK.

-What am I gonna do with you?

0:11:250:11:27

Do-do-doo, do-do-doo, do-do-do-do-doo...

0:11:290:11:33

I've got to say, Nev, you're taking this very well.

0:11:330:11:36

Hello, ducky!

0:11:360:11:37

-HE LAUGHS

-Stop it!

0:11:390:11:41

I mean, I could get used to it.

0:11:410:11:43

You're still the same Nev underneath, aren't you?

0:11:430:11:46

Too right, bro!

0:11:460:11:47

I suppose you'll change back to normal in time.

0:11:470:11:51

Let's get you out of the bath.

0:11:510:11:52

Let's find out what Crazy Keith's done with our charity stuff.

0:11:520:11:57

Actually, I might need to get a bigger towel.

0:11:580:12:01

HE LAUGHS

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Well, I suppose I've no other choice than to get on with my painting

0:12:080:12:12

until this swapsy-body thing wears off.

0:12:120:12:15

It's much easier when you're only a foot tall.

0:12:150:12:19

Neville, is that you?

0:12:190:12:22

Oh, thank gravy you're all right!

0:12:220:12:25

No, it's not actually.

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Well, aren't you a helpful little doggy!

0:12:270:12:30

No, I'm not.

0:12:300:12:33

Don't grizzle-growl like that,

0:12:330:12:35

as that nasty caretaker made you do his jobs for him.

0:12:350:12:40

What a lazy man he is!

0:12:400:12:42

Lazy? I think he works very hard as a matter of...

0:12:420:12:45

Oh, don't grizzle like that. Would Neville like a little choc drop?

0:12:450:12:50

Oh. Choc drop, you say?

0:12:500:12:53

Well, I'm a bit peckish, now you come to mention it.

0:12:530:12:57

All-righty. Up you come.

0:12:570:12:59

Come on now. Bark like a good dog if you want to have a choc drop!

0:12:590:13:03

Do what?

0:13:030:13:05

If you want a choc drop, you've got to bark like a good doggy!

0:13:050:13:09

Oh. I see. Well, er...

0:13:090:13:12

Woof. Woof. Woof.

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Woof, woof, woof, woof.

0:13:170:13:18

Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!

0:13:200:13:22

Woof, woof, woof...

0:13:240:13:25

Now, can you believe the things people throw away, Doris?

0:13:250:13:29

This is a perfectly good trumpet!

0:13:290:13:32

-NEV'S VOICE:

-Crazy Keith!

0:13:320:13:33

Ah! Nevvy! Is that you?

0:13:330:13:35

Come down here and say g'day to me and Doris!

0:13:350:13:38

Here I am!

0:13:380:13:41

HE SCREAMS

0:13:410:13:43

It's old Angry Pants! We're done for!

0:13:430:13:47

Crazy Keith!

0:13:470:13:48

Help! Help!

0:13:480:13:49

Get behind me, Doris! I'll protect you!

0:13:490:13:51

Crazy Keith, it's me!

0:13:510:13:53

Huh? Nevvy?

0:13:530:13:56

Yeah-yeah!

0:13:560:13:57

Oh no, Doris! The caretaker's eaten Nev!

0:13:570:14:00

No-no-no-no!

0:14:000:14:01

-It's me! Help!

-It IS you!

0:14:010:14:07

Nevvy, you've changed a bit, fella!

0:14:070:14:09

Angry Pants!

0:14:090:14:11

Bang on. You've changed into your own worst enemy!

0:14:110:14:14

Friends?

0:14:140:14:16

Well, we don't judge by appearances, do we, Doris?

0:14:160:14:19

Come on, Nevvy, let's have some Angry Pants fun!

0:14:190:14:23

-Go for it, Nevvy! Shake that booty!

-Jibbidy-ya!

0:14:230:14:27

I've never seen the flat from this angle before!

0:14:270:14:30

There's some interesting stuff on those shelves.

0:14:300:14:34

-Don't think Barney would mind if I borrowed that radio?

-Groovy!

0:14:340:14:38

HE CATCHES HIS BREATH

0:14:400:14:42

Goodness! You do like your choc drops, don't you, little doggy?

0:14:420:14:46

-BREATHLESSLY:

-Woof, woof, woof!

0:14:460:14:48

Sorry, Neville, you've eaten them all!

0:14:480:14:51

Now, it's time I popped you down

0:14:510:14:53

and I went to see if I can find out where that lazy caretaker's got to.

0:14:530:14:58

And I'll tell Barney that I found you.

0:14:580:15:00

Woof...

0:15:000:15:02

-De-doo!

-Ah! Thank you, Nevvy!

0:15:070:15:10

And...ah! What about that dusty old remote control?

0:15:100:15:14

Groovy!

0:15:140:15:15

-Hello, you two!

-Barney!

0:15:190:15:21

You've got more stuff to clear out? Just as well I got these boxes.

0:15:210:15:25

I never did know what that remote control was for.

0:15:250:15:28

Then you won't mind me holding on to it.

0:15:280:15:30

I suppose not. How are you doing, Nev?

0:15:300:15:33

Tip-topperoo!

0:15:330:15:35

-AUNT BARBARA:

-Plank!

0:15:350:15:36

Time for a sharp exit!

0:15:360:15:38

There you are! Caretaker, caretaker, couldn't-care-less-taker!

0:15:400:15:44

I found little Nev, Barney, by the way.

0:15:440:15:47

That caretaker is making that little dog do his work!

0:15:470:15:51

Oh no, Barbara, you don't understand.

0:15:510:15:54

I do understand, you silly boy.

0:15:540:15:56

What have you got to say for yourself, Plank?

0:15:560:15:58

HE BLOWS RASPBERRY

0:15:580:16:00

Oh! So that is the respect you have

0:16:000:16:03

for a lady just over... well, early twenties...

0:16:030:16:08

I shall be letting my brother Rupert know about this.

0:16:080:16:11

I'd be surprised if he doesn't give you the sack.

0:16:110:16:15

HE BLOWS RASPBERRY

0:16:150:16:17

Nev. You don't want to be responsible

0:16:170:16:20

-for Mr Prank getting the sack?

-Yeah-yeah!

0:16:200:16:22

No, you don't! Just say sorry to Aunt Barbara.

0:16:220:16:25

-I'm sorry!

-Too late! I'm going to write to my brother Rupert.

0:16:250:16:30

Brace yourself, Plank, to get fired!

0:16:300:16:33

Wow. She really is hard on poor Mr Prank, isn't she?

0:16:360:16:39

-Poor Angry Pants!

-No wonder he's so miserable all the time.

0:16:390:16:43

Yeah-yeah!

0:16:430:16:45

I'll have a word. See if I can stop here from writing that letter.

0:16:450:16:49

-You can carry on painting the skirting boards.

-OK, Barney!

0:16:490:16:54

HE MUMBLES TO HIMSELF

0:16:560:16:59

I can't believe this stupid bear spell hasn't worn off,

0:17:010:17:06

on such a sunny day!

0:17:060:17:08

I could be selling hundreds of ice creams out of my van today,

0:17:080:17:12

and making some real money for once!

0:17:120:17:15

HE BURPS, MAN SPITS

0:17:150:17:17

Hang on, so what if I am a bear?

0:17:170:17:20

I can still sell ice cream!

0:17:200:17:22

In fact, being a bear,

0:17:220:17:24

I can even get away with it without that old bat,

0:17:240:17:27

Miss Barbara, spotting me at it when I should be caretaking.

0:17:270:17:32

Yes, maybe things aren't so bad after all!

0:17:320:17:37

HE LAUGHS

0:17:370:17:39

Right, then...

0:17:410:17:42

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:17:420:17:44

Let's sell some ice cream!

0:17:440:17:47

-Hello!

-Oh, what do you want? Ice cream cornet?

0:17:500:17:54

Yes, please!

0:17:540:17:55

Right, coming up.

0:17:550:17:58

CRASHING

0:17:580:18:00

There you go, kid! £2.50.

0:18:020:18:05

HE LAUGHS

0:18:050:18:07

Oi! Where's my money?

0:18:070:18:11

Come back here, you thieving rascal!

0:18:110:18:14

SHE CRIES

0:18:140:18:15

HE GRUMBLES

0:18:150:18:17

This is getting ridiculous now!

0:18:170:18:19

How's a man supposed to run a business

0:18:190:18:21

when he's a one-foot-tall blue bear

0:18:210:18:24

who's allergic...to...him...self?

0:18:240:18:28

HE SNEEZES

0:18:280:18:29

CRASHING

0:18:290:18:31

Right, that's it! I'm gonna find that bear, I mean me,

0:18:310:18:36

and get this swap sorted once and for all.

0:18:360:18:40

Do-doo-doo, do-do-doo...

0:18:400:18:43

There you are!

0:18:440:18:46

HE SCREAMS

0:18:460:18:48

Look at the mess you've made of my lovely floor!

0:18:480:18:51

I've had enough of this business.

0:18:510:18:53

You and me are getting back inside that cranky beanbag.

0:18:530:18:57

No-no-no-no!

0:18:570:18:58

Ye-ye-ye-yes! Come here!

0:18:580:19:00

Run!

0:19:000:19:02

Come here, bear!

0:19:020:19:04

Can't catch me!

0:19:040:19:06

BANDIT MEOWS

0:19:060:19:08

Get off me, you stupid cat!

0:19:080:19:11

Didn't I tell you this before?

0:19:110:19:13

I am Mr Prank, your master!

0:19:130:19:16

That handsome creature over there is the bear. Got it?

0:19:160:19:20

Now get him!

0:19:200:19:22

Run!

0:19:220:19:24

BANDIT MEOWS AGGRESSIVELY

0:19:240:19:26

Come here, bear!

0:19:300:19:33

No way, Jose!

0:19:340:19:35

BANDIT MEOWS

0:19:370:19:39

Ha-ha! Got ya!

0:19:430:19:44

Now let's get this magic reversed.

0:19:440:19:46

BANDIT MEOWS

0:19:490:19:51

OK Nev, so I've spoken to Aunt Barbara, and...

0:19:550:19:59

BUBBLING

0:19:590:20:00

Nev?

0:20:000:20:01

BUBBLING

0:20:010:20:04

-NEV'S VOICE:

-Barney! Help!

0:20:040:20:07

-MR PRANK'S VOICE:

-Come here, bear!

0:20:090:20:11

Nev, what are you doing in the beanbag? It's dangerous!

0:20:110:20:14

Anything might happen in there!

0:20:140:20:16

-NEV'S VOICE:

-Barney!

0:20:160:20:18

-Problem, Barnster?

-You could say that, Keith.

0:20:180:20:21

I need to get Nev out of the beanbag, quickly. Seen my scarf?

0:20:210:20:25

You don't need a scarf, mate. It's not how the beanbag works!

0:20:250:20:29

What do you mean? It's a magic beanbag!

0:20:290:20:31

No, it's not. You just have to use the remote control.

0:20:310:20:34

There's a remote control? For the beanbag?

0:20:340:20:38

Yeah! It's the one I found on your shelf earlier.

0:20:380:20:41

It's amazing what a beanbag can do.

0:20:410:20:43

Travel through time, make people invisible...

0:20:430:20:46

-I thought it was just for sitting on!

-You thought wrong!

0:20:460:20:50

Right, which button is it?

0:20:500:20:52

The one that says "Put people back in the right bodies".

0:20:520:20:56

I guess that's what happened to them.

0:20:560:20:58

That'll be that one...there.

0:20:580:21:00

And...eject.

0:21:000:21:01

-Aah!

-Ooh!

0:21:010:21:02

Nev! Mr Prank! Are you OK?

0:21:020:21:06

-NEV, IN HIS OWN VOICE:

-Love you, Barney!

0:21:060:21:08

Yay! Welcome back, mate! Not that you went anywhere.

0:21:080:21:12

-It's good things are back to normal.

-Too right, bro!

0:21:120:21:15

I'm sorry about the mess we made of the painting.

0:21:150:21:18

I spoke to Aunt Barbara, and she's not sending a letter yet.

0:21:180:21:22

-BANDIT, IN MR PRANK'S VOICE:

-Thanks, Mr Barney, sir,

0:21:220:21:25

as long as everything's back to normal.

0:21:250:21:27

Come on, Bandit, let's go home.

0:21:270:21:30

MR PRANK MEOWS LIKE BANDIT

0:21:300:21:31

-Ah.

-Hmm...

0:21:330:21:36

NEV YAWNS

0:21:360:21:38

Sleepy-bear!

0:21:380:21:39

-I'm not surprised, mate. What a day!

-Too right, bro!

0:21:390:21:42

Still, I'm glad we got Mr Prank and Bandit into the right bodies.

0:21:420:21:47

Well, after we coaxed Mr Prank down from that tree.

0:21:470:21:50

Ha-ha! Angry cat!

0:21:500:21:51

And I think Keith might be right about throwing stuff away.

0:21:510:21:55

-I'm glad he kept the remote control.

-Aye-aye, captain.

0:21:550:21:58

And I held on to something for you.

0:21:580:22:00

Jack And The Beanstalk! Fancy a bedtime story?

0:22:000:22:04

NEV SCREAMS

0:22:040:22:05

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd E-mail [email protected]

0:22:050:22:10

When Nev and Mr Prank are swallowed up by the beanbag in the living room, Barney gets the shock of his life as he pulls the pair free and finds they've swapped bodies. Too afraid of what will happen if they go back inside the beanbag, Nev continues life allergic to himself but blessed with a newly found height advantage. Prank endeavours to continue his caretaking duties as a small blue bear but becomes determined to get his own body back.