Wedding Belles Bear Behaving Badly


Wedding Belles

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Transcript


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Gonna have to sell some ice-cream soon,

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otherwise I'll have to find another job...

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-Morning, Mr Prank.

-Hello, Mr Barney, sir!

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-Can I help?

-Yes.

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-I'd like an eat-on-the-street walking-to-work special.

-Coming up!

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Hold that, please.

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Good morning, Barney.

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I don't think cleaning ice-cream vans is a proper career, do you?

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Barbara, I've got a proper career. I'm a TV presenter.

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You don't want to become a caretaker like Plank, do you?

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Erm... I guess not.

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Phew! That was close.

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I don't want old Barbara finding out about my ice-cream job.

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Not that business is booming.

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You're the only customer I've had all week.

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-I'm broke.

-You should marry someone rich, Mr Prank.

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Your troubles would melt away. No more ice-cream for you.

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No more caretaking!

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MR PRANK BLOWS NOSE

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-I'd make the perfect husband.

-I can see.

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I thought the place needed brightening up a little.

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Do you like flowers, Nevvy, dear?

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NEV MUMBLES

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Woof, woof!

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SHE SNIFFS

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Oh, I do like the smell of a freshly cut rose.

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Hmm.

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-Treat, Nevvy?

-Mm-mm...

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Wait for it! Wait for it! And...

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-Go!

-Mmm.

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Perfect!

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Cooey!

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Wagh...!

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Ooh, look at you and your big van.

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Oh, don't you look handsome with your uniform!

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Oh, the only wife I'll find round here is a loopy one!

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THUNDER RUMBLES

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Miserable weather.

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I've had it for the day.

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Morning, Nev!

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Postie!

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I simply can't hold it in any longer!

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Yucky, run!

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No, silly! I've had some wonderful luck.

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-I've won the lottery!

-You win, you win!

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# Yeah, I've got a winning lottery ticket!

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# I've got a winning lottery ticket! #

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-Oh, we're rich, Mr Prank!

-We certainly are, Mrs Prank!

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THEY LAUGH

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# Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah

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# Yeah, yeah, yeah. #

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Ahem!

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-Oh, Mr Prank. For me?

-Of course, my dear.

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-Mwah, mwah, mwah!

-Yucky!

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Oh, no-one's ever given me flowers before!

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Ah-choo!

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Or stalks before.

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Hmm, confused...

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MR PRANK LAUGHS

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Now listen. Postie's lottery win is my ticket to a fortune.

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Do not ruin it, got it? Now scram, blue bear!

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NEV BLOWS RASPBERRY

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Erm, shall we luncheon, my letter-lobbing lovely?

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Why, thank you, Mr Prank!

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Postie... Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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I know, I know. Crazy Keith.

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Keith! Keith... Wagh!

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Whoa...

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Quick!

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Quick!

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Crazy Keith! Crazy Keith!

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Up here, Nevvy!

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Just enjoying a little bounce with Doris, ha-ha.

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-What can I do you for?

-Postie, Postie, help!

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What?

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-Postie's in trouble?

-Too right, bro! Angry Pants!

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Ah, you do surprise me, old Angry Pants is involved.

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Come on, Nevvy. Let's have a look.

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Now...

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Cheese and onion?

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Oooh! You know how to spoil a girl!

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Are you all right, Mr Prank?

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Never better!

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Oh...

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-Postie...

-Yeah.

-Will you...marry me?

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Oh...!

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Oh, be still, oh beating heart!

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It's all such a rush! I need to take some air for fear of the vapours!

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Ooh...

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Let's not beat about the bush, love, eh?! Yes or no?

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Oh, yes! Yes, yes!

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Yes, yes, yes!

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Sealed with a loving kiss! Mwah...!

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-Oh!

-Sorry, love. I've got a wedding to organise.

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Oh!

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Oh...!

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Well, that's knocked seven wedding-bells out of me!

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What's he marrying her for?!

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-M-m-money!

-Ah, she must be loaded if Angry Pants wants to tie the knot!

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Too right, bro!

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That sneaky...!

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Mind you, I think Doris has an eye on me for my moolah!

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-Poor Postie!

-Ah, you're not wrong there, Nevvy.

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You've gotta stop the wedding, for Postie's sake!

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SCREAMING AND BANGING

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Oh-oh.

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-Crikey! What's happened now?

-Postie, quick! Coming!

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GIGGLING

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Who would have thought it? You, getting married!

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So, who's your knight in shining armour?

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-Well, he's very kind and he loves animals.

-Oh, I like him already!

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And he's very, very, very handsome.

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Come on! Tell us.

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It's Mr Prank, of course!

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Not Plank... Not Plank?

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-Are you sure, Postie?

-Oh, I've never been more sure

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of anything in my life.

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He wants us to get married right away and you're all invited, ooh!

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It's so romantic! Look, he even bought me an engagement ring!

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Solid plastic! How lovely!

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-How very Plank.

-Oh! I want this to be the happiest day of my life.

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Oh, my dear! With my help, it'll be a day that you'll never forget.

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-Melanie here can be your bridesmaid.

-Yay!

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-And I'll provide the dress.

-Can't I choose my own dress?

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Nonsense! My friend Loriel will run you something up!

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She's made my entire wardrobe!

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-Come along, Melanie, dear!

-But, Aunt Barbara...

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-Hello, Postie!

-Oh, hi, Nev!

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Ooh, Nev, will you be my page bear?

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OK! Erm, what's that?

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Oh, you'll be in charge of the wedding ring.

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You'll need to get it from my fiance.

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And look after it until the vicar asks for it.

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-Groovy!

-Yay!

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Hmmm... Sparkly.

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'Ello?!

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Is that the quicker vicar?

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Yes, I'd like you to marry me this afternoon.

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What do you mean you think we should get to know each other first?!

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Excuse me, Mr Plank.

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Hmmm?

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I mean, Prank.

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(Plank.)

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INAUDIBLE TALKING ON PHONE

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Not marry me! Marry me and my future wife.

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Yes.

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Melanie! Hello. Poor Postie.

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Poor Postie? What about poor me! Look at this bridesmaid's dress

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Aunt Barbara's friend made for me.

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BEAR LAUGHS

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Ready. Uno problemo.

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You're telling me.

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-BARBARA:

-Melanie, dear!

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Coming!

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Smelanie, wait! Oh...

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Psst! Nevvy!

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What?

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-How's the wedding-wrecking coming along?

-Mmm, pants.

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PHONE RINGS

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Ring-ring! Ring-ring!

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Wackadoo!

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Here I am!

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Woah! Hey Nev, it's me. Hey, have you heard the news?

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Mr Plank and Postie are getting married this afternoon!

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-'How random is that?'

-Did he say this arvo?

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

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I said they could use the flat for the ceremony, hope that's cool.

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Oh, and guess what? Postie has asked me to give her away!

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What an honour!

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Barney! Weddy! Mundo Problemo!

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BELL RINGS

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OK, people, let's shoot this thing please.

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OK, mate. I've gotta go. I'll see you later.

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Oh, Wackadoo!

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HE GASPS

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Just over an hour until Postie makes the biggest mistake of her life.

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Poor Postie.

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Oh! There's only one thing for it. As page-bear, Nevvy,

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you need to get that wedding ring off old Angry Pants.

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When you've got it, we'll hide it.

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Cos if there's no wedding ring, there'll be no wedding.

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Stop Postie wed. Stop Postie wed.

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MI-I-IAOW! HE GASPS

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Stop the wedding, blue bear?

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Um, n-n-n-no. Nothing.

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Oh, n-n-n-nothing?

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Um, sparkly. Now please!

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Oh, so you want the wedding ring, do you, page-bear Nev? Want this?

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-HE GASPS

-Yeah-yeah!

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MI-I-I-A-OW-W!

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Oh no...

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HE SNEEZES

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If you're gonna scupper the wedding, you can forget about being page-bear.

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HE WHIMPERS

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Oh yes! HE SNEEZES

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This ring stays with me until it's safely on Postie's finger,

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at our wedding.

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In just one hour.

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N-n-n-no. Stop Postie wed!

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Yeah-yeah-yea-yes. Get him, Bandit.

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HE SNEEZES

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MIAOW!

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-HE GASPS

-Run!

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Come here, bear!

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-Can't catch me!

-Miaow...

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DOOR SLAMS

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Think I already have, bear!

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'See you after the honeymoon, page-bear! Ha-ha!'

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Oh, streuth! Poor Nevvy. How're we gonna stop the wedding?

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I know! I'll dig my way down to the old tunnel and free Nev.

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It's been a while since I've been, but I think I can remember the way.

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Ha! A koala never forgets!

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..Or is that elephants?

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Oh...I forget.

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Fwightened...

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CLANKING

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What's that?

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'It's me, Nevvy!'

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Crazy Keith!

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Quick! Zoom!

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Hang on! I'm coming for you, buddy!

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HE GRUNTS

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SCRAPING

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Nevvy? Nevvy?

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Ahh! Walloping wallabies!

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I've tunnelled into the boudoir!

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Oh! I'm positively blushing!

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I'm positively out of here!

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SCRAPING

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HE SIGHS

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Yes! PPPRRRT!

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Yes! PRRRT!

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You'll see an ice-cream van outside the block, quicker-vicar.

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Yeah-yeah-yeah, you can't miss it.

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No, if you'll excuse me, I've got a bit of business to attend to.

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Yes, goodbye!

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KEITH WHIMPERS

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I'm glad our Doris isn't here to see this.

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HE SIGHS

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Poor Postie.

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GRUNTING AND SCRAPING

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Ah! At last! There you are, Nevvy.

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Crazy Keith!

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We haven't got long now, Nev.

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-The vicar's on his way and the ceremony's about to begin.

-Too late!

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Ah, maybe not, Nevvy. I've got an idea.

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It's a bit risky but it might just work.

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Come on, buddy. Follow Crazy Keith!

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Yeah-yeah!

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CRASH

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ORGAN PLAYS

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Call yourself a quicker-vicar?

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Rubbish...

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BOING!

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Ooh! Plank, I'm stuck! Well, do something, man!

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Yes... I think we'll have to widen the door, or...

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-..Right!

-You imbecile!

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Right, where's that vicar...

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Hello?

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I'm here for the happy couple.

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Not today, please.

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HE SIGHS

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Phewee!

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MI-I-I-IAOW!

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AAARGH! Run!

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-MIAOW! MIAOW!

-Aaarrgh!

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ORGAN MUSIC

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Oh, at last! The quicker-vicar!

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HE SNEEZES

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Ah, bless you, my child.

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You're a bit short for a vicar, ain't ya?

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I'm not too short to give you a punch on the doo-da, mate!

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MUSIC: "Wedding March" by Mendelssohn

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About time!

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Look at you!

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Yes. Just look at me.

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I was talking to the bride.

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Um, where's Nev? He's the page-bear. He's got the ring, hasn't he?

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Oh..err... Ah, yes, yes... He sends his apologies and, err...

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I've got the ring now.

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It's not like Nev to miss a party.

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Nah, you're right there.

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-I...I mean...

-Keith, is that you?

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Ssh!

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'Scuse me, can we just get on with this, please?

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OK, fellas, here we go. Ahem...

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ORGAN MUSIC

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If anyone has a good reason, or wants to make one up,

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why this pair cannot get married,

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speak now...

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-Aaargh! Cat's got me! Aaargh!

-Miaow!

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I said, speak now...

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Oh... Where are you, Nev?

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-Aaargh!

-Miaow!

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I asked you, one last time,

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if anyone has a reason why this pair cannot get married?

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Speak now, or forever hold your doo-da.

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SCREECH

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Come on, don't be shy!

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Oh, come on! Everyone's happy with this. Just get on with it, will you?

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Dearly beloved, we are gathered today to witness the marriage

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of poor old Postie, ha-ha, to Mr... Andy Plonk.

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HE SNEEZES

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Plank!

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It's Prank! Andrew Prank!

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Keith, are you trying to stop this wedding?

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Trust me, Barnster.

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'Scuse me! Can we stop the whispering?

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-Can we just get on with it quicker, vicar?

-Sorry.

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Do you, Andrew Stinky-Feet, Hairy-Hands, Baldy-Bonce,

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promise to take Postie to the cleaners as soon as you are married?

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-And never speak to her again, for as long as you both shall live?

-Keith!

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I do. SHE LAUGHS

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Do you, Postie, promise to give this horrible man your lottery winnings

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-in return for a life of drudgery?

-What?

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Don't I just! SHE LAUGHS

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-Miaow!

-N-n-n-no!

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Nice try, bear, but you're too late to stop this wedding, look!

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The deed is done!

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I am a married man. A very rich married man.

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Now hand over the winnings, wifey, I want my money!

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I don't understand?

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I should have known.

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Plank would never marry for love.

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What a rat bag!

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Yeah, too right. I've had enough of this place.

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I wanna go and live on a beach somewhere, with half her winnings.

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The law says it's mine, now I'm married.

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Um, actually, you're not married.

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Oh yes, of course I am, yes.

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You're not. Cos he's not a real vicar.

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HE GASPS

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Streuth! I've been defrocked.

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What?!

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CAT LAUGHS

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Come here, quicker-vicar!

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Got ya!

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SPLAT!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha! Wackadoo!

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-Over here, you dingbat!

-Right!

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Oi!

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Ah...

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Right! HE WHIMPERS

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- Err...err...! - Chew on this, Plank!

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HE YELPS

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SPLAT!

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SHE GROANS

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-Oh!

-You may kiss the bride.

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HE LAUGHS

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Now, where's that bear?

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He started all this.

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-Can't catch me!

-Miaow!

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Got this, bear?!

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SPLAT!

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Oh... Oh. Oops.

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HE WHIMPERS

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OK, look. That's enough.

0:18:590:19:02

SPLAT!

0:19:020:19:04

Food fight!

0:19:080:19:10

SPLATTING AND GROANING

0:19:100:19:12

Food fight!

0:19:170:19:19

-Wackadoo, Nevvy! Great wedding.

-Yeah-yeah.

0:19:190:19:23

SPLATTING AND GROANING

0:19:230:19:25

SPLAT!

0:19:270:19:30

We have a sticky situation here. Requesting back-up.

0:19:320:19:36

I'm going in.

0:19:360:19:40

SPLATTING AND SHOUTING

0:19:400:19:42

-Nice hit there, Nevvy.

-Wee-hee!

0:19:420:19:49

BLOWS WHISTLE

0:19:500:19:51

POSTIE SNIFFLES

0:19:560:19:58

So this is your ice-cream cake, is it then, Sir?

0:19:590:20:02

Err... No, it's hers.

0:20:020:20:06

This was supposed to be the... happiest day of my life.

0:20:060:20:10

'Scuse me, Madam...

0:20:100:20:12

ROMANTIC HARP MUSIC PLAYS

0:20:120:20:16

It's Miss, actually. Officer.

0:20:190:20:24

Hello, Miss. Call me Roddy.

0:20:240:20:27

Err, excuse me! Rodders! She's still my fiance, you know.

0:20:270:20:33

Ha, not any more!

0:20:330:20:34

You just wanted me for my money. Well here, take it. Take it all.

0:20:340:20:41

Are you sure? Oh! Oh, thank you!

0:20:410:20:43

I'm rich! Don't care about you lot. I'm rich! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:20:430:20:48

I just want someone to love me for being me.

0:20:480:20:52

I shall have to take you under police protection.

0:20:520:20:54

-Ooh...

-A romantic meal for two.

0:20:540:20:57

With apple pie and...custardy.

0:20:570:21:01

SHE SIGHS

0:21:040:21:05

Oh! What girl could resist a man in a uniform.

0:21:060:21:11

Hang on a minute!

0:21:110:21:12

-This scratch card's only worth a fiver!

-Hold it there, Plank!

0:21:130:21:18

Yeah, but... I'm upset too, you know.

0:21:180:21:21

I've lost a fiance...and a fortune!

0:21:210:21:24

And don't think I don't know who took those lovely flowers of mine.

0:21:240:21:29

Here, buy a bunch with the winning ticket!

0:21:290:21:31

Hey, well done for doing the right thing, Nev.

0:21:340:21:37

You really saved Postie from a life with old Angry Pants, you know.

0:21:370:21:41

-Love you, Barney.

-Maybe I'll still get to use my best man's speech.

0:21:410:21:45

Wackadoo, Barnster, keep that speech on the boil!

0:21:460:21:49

-I've just popped the question to Doris.

-Oh, well done, Crazy Keith!

0:21:490:21:53

-Do you think she'll say yes?

-Mmm.

0:21:530:21:56

She hasn't said anything yet.

0:21:560:21:58

I think she's playing hard to get.

0:21:580:21:59

Ha, unlike your ice-cream!

0:21:590:22:02

-Ha-ha.

-Don't even think about it, mate.

-Wackadoo!

-Keith!

0:22:020:22:05

Wow you're strong! One second!

0:22:050:22:08

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0:22:080:22:10

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