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Hypnotwits Bear Behaving Badly

Hypnotwits

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BEAR HUMS TO HIMSELF

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Oh, shut it, Bear! You won't wind me up with that racket!

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Hey, Nev. You actually washed yourself?

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No, no, no! Come bath me! And duckie, please.

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-OK, which one? This one?

-Yeah!

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There you go. Ooh, it sunk.

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-How's the shelves getting on?

-Spot on, Mr Barney, sir!

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Spot on! Yeah!

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MOBILE PHONE RINGS Oh, excuse me. A call.

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Hello? Yes? Mr Prank!

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Maintenance executive extraordinaire.

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Flat 6. Your central heating's broken? Oh, dear.

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Tell you what, try wearing a jumper. Goodbye.

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Did I tell you I bought a new phone?

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-No.

-Oh! I bought a new phone.

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It's got video, text, camera... the inter-web.

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-Can you put shelves up with it?

-Eh? no, no.

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-Oh, I see! Yes, I'm right on it, Mr Barney, sir!

-Great. Right, then...

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I'm going to get breakfast.

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There. You see that, Bear, it's...

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HE MURMURS

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-Boo!

-Atchoo!

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See that? You always set off my allergies.

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Argh! Swim!

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ATCHOO!

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-Hello, Mr Angry Pants!

-Bear... Grrr!

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Um... Cup of tea, Mr Prank?

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Ooooh, yes, please.

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Right, well, I've given Mr Prank my dressing gown.

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He's had about three cups of tea. I think he's calming down.

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Grrr! I'll marmalise that bear!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

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TV: 'Welcome to the Boffin Channel.

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'Our programmes today include how to recognise dust,

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-'types of wood...'

-Boring!

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'..and staring at walls - a beginner's guide.'

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-Boring, boring!

-What's the matter, mate? Nothing on telly?

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Let me have a look.

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'You're watching the Boffin Channel. Our programmes will resume shortly.' BUZZING

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I think it's broken. You're stuck with the Boffin Channel, I'm afraid.

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-I'll get Mr Prank to have a look.

-HAMMERING

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Ow, my finger! HAMMERING

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Ow, my foot!

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Er, maybe a bit later.

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-Too right, bro.

-I'd better get to work.

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Now, Nev, be nice to Mr Prank. Go easy on him.

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-Love you, Barney.

-I love you too. See you later.

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BUZZING

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Oh...

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HE SIGHS

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I said I'd come and fix your central heating later.

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Now, stop calling me.

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Ah! Now, THAT is a job well done.

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Right...

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Oh, that'll do.

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Oh, bonzer! Old Angry Pants is gone, Doris!

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And would you believe it?! He's left us his phone!

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I could call my rellies in Australia and tell them all about you!

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Can't cost THAT much to call Oz, can it? You stay here.

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HE GASPS

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TV: 'We hope you enjoyed the last programme -

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-'Soup Through The Ages.'

-No, no, no, no. Yucky. Boring.

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'Next on the Boffin Channel,

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'it's Teach Yourself Hypnotism.'

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Groovy!

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'Hello! Want to learn how to hypnotise someone?

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'Make them do anything you want? Here's how...'

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TICKING

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'That was Teach Yourself Hypnotism.'

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-Yeah!

-'And now, some music to listen to while you cut your toenails.'

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No way, Jose!

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SWITCHES TV OFF

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Snuggly duckie duck duck.

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-Quack!

-Looky my eyes...

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Looky my eyes...

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Hmm. Tut!

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What's up? It's Keith! I'm calling from the other side of the world!

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-Crazy Keith!

-What?! Your boomerang didn't come back?!

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-No! Tell me about it!

-I know, I know!

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Yeah, that's right, Auntie Madge!

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I've met this bonzer sheila! Her name's Doris.

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Keith!

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Aaaaargh!

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SPLASH!

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-Oh, crikey!

-Yucky!

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-Angry Pants?

-Yeah, it's Angry Pants's phone!

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-Uh-oh!

-He might have a big bill coming his way,

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so maybe it's lucky the evidence is down the dunny!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

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MR PRANK: Bear?! Have you seen my new phone?!

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-You'd better not be messing with it.

-Angry Pants!

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Where's my phone, Bear?

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Come on, open up! I want my phone.

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-What now?!

-Hmm...

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-I know, I know!

-What? You've had an idea, haven't you?

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Open this door, or I'll bash it down and use you as a draught excluder!

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Crazy Keith, looky my eyes! Looky my eyes!

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What are you up to?! No, you don't!

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You can't hypnotise me, mate! My mind is like a...

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What would you have me do, O master Nev?

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Keith...phone.

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Huh? Hmm...

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Confused.

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Groovy!

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BEAR?! This is your last chance.

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Keith...phone!

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SPLASH!

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Right, you little, blue BEAR-barian! Where's my phone?!

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-NEV SCREAMS Where's my phone, Bear?!

-Not me! Not me!

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Aaaargh!

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# Na-na-na-na-nah! #

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Bear!

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Come 'ere, Bear!

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Right, Bear, this is your last chance!

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Where's...my...phone?

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Um, Angry Pants, looky my eyes!

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Looky my eyes...

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What will you have me do, O master Nev?

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Jam.

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Jam. Must make Bear jam sandwich.

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-Must make Bear jam sandwich. NEV LAUGHS

-Jam, please!

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-Find phone...

-FLUSHING

-Must find phone! Whoa!

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# Doop-do-do! #

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Jam, please!

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NEV GASPS Made Bear jam sandwich.

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-Jam! Yum-yum!

-DOOR CLOSES

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Good morning, Plank. Good morning, Nevy-wevy!

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-Woof-woof!

-I'm on my way to the charity sale

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in aid of the Society Of Glum Kittens. As you're my favourite dog,

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-I thought you should try one of my cakes.

-Yum-yum!

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Treat time! Much better than a jam sandwich!

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What do you think? Do you like the cake? Be honest.

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Grr-rrr-rrr-grrroovy! Woof-woof!

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I'd better offer you one too, Plank.

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Tell me what you think. Be honest.

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Hmm...

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Hmm...

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Looky my eyes.

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Looky my eyes.

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What will you have me do, O master Nev?

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Be...honest.

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Be...honest. Must be honest.

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Bleurgh! That's horrible!

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What have you put in that, Miss Barbara?!

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The only thing more disgusting than that is your dress!

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You look like a trifle that's learnt to walk with a colander on your head!

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Good gravy! I give you a cake, and all you can do

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is come out with insults?! You're not just a terrible caretaker,

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you're also very rude! Uncle Rupert's going to hear about this!

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HE LAUGHS

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Funny!

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Have another one of my lovely cakes. Don't worry -

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I've plenty more of them.

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There you go. Good doggy.

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-MUFFLED:

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Mmm! Mmm!

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Delicious!

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Actually, they do taste a bit odd.

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Maybe I added salt instead of sugar.

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Or maybe my inspired use of prunes wasn't such a good idea.

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-TUMMY RUMBLES

-Oh dear... Oh...

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GURGLING

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P-FFF-RRRT!

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Don't panic, Neville, but I think I may have to use your loo!

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SCREAMING

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I WILL have to use your loo!

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-No, no, no, no!

-Might be a little while!

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PFFRT! PFFFR-RRT!

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-Woof-woof-woof!

-I'd love to play with you,

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but I've got to go to he loo. You see, these prunes upset my tummy.

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-Eurgh!

-PFFRT!

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Oh... I know, I know!

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Looky my eyes.

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Looky my eyes.

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What would you have me do, O master Neville.

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Cooker...on.

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Quick!

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What? I've left the cooker on in my flat?

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Oh, no. Must turn cooker off.

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Turn cooker off.

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Turn cooker off.

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Oooh, phew!

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Find phone. Must find phone.

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We're fish!

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-Must find phone.

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Phwoar, ha ha ha ha!

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Now, where are we?

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HE GASPS

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Strewth!

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Must be honest. Must be honest. Must be honest.

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Hello, Mr Prank. How are you this lovely day?

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Must be honest. Hello, Postie. I dreamt about you last night.

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Did you really, Mr Prank?

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I dreamt that we had a kiss.

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Oooh, really?

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When I say dream, more of a nightmare. I woke up screaming.

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Oh, what a horrible thing to say!

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Ooh, I'm gonna flatten you!

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Uuurggh!

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Oh, Mr Prank!

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Ooh, I'm ever so sorry!

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Are you all right?

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HE GROANS

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Oooh!

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Wha-wha-wha-what's going on?

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My phone.

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Wait a minute. I bet this has got something to do with that bear.

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I'll marmalise him when I get hold of him.

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Ooooh!

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Awww!

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Hello, Keith.

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Crazy Keith.

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Keith.

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Doris say, love you, Keith.

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Oh!

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Find phone. Must find phone.

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Strewth!

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I need that phone. Open up, mate.

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Hee-hee-hee-hee!

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Ah, so you want to play it like that, do you?

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OK, and tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

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Ha ha ha ha.

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Found phone! Keithy boy found phone! Bonzer!

0:14:060:14:11

Turn cooker off. Turn cooker off.

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Oooh!

0:14:220:14:24

Oooh, oh dear.

0:14:250:14:28

I do feel strange. What am I doing here?

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Oh, dear me. I must have had one of my funny turns.

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My tummy's quite unsettled.

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TUMMY RUMBLES

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PFF-RRRT!

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Oooh! Toilet now!

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Oh, I need the loo NOW! I need the loo!

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Crazy Keith gone.

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DOOR SLAMS

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Bear! I don't know going on but I've got a few bones to pick with you.

0:14:550:15:00

Oh!

0:15:000:15:02

-Waaah!

-Come here, bear! Come here, bear!

0:15:020:15:07

CRASH

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Looky my eyes! Looky my eyes!

0:15:110:15:18

Oh no! I know what you're up to, bear.

0:15:180:15:22

You're not playing any of your weird hypnotising tricks on me.

0:15:220:15:26

See, all I have to do is not look at you.

0:15:260:15:30

Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

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Huh?

0:15:340:15:36

Looky my eyes! Looky my eyes!

0:15:360:15:41

What will you have me do, O' Master Nev?

0:15:440:15:47

Angry Pants Dinosaur.

0:15:470:15:51

Me, angrysaurus dinosaur.

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AARRGGGGHH

0:15:540:15:57

Groovy!

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Oh, Nevy-wevy!

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Auntie Baba desperately needs to use your loo right now.

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What do you think you're doing, you useless man?

0:16:180:16:21

Me dinosaur! GRRRRR!

0:16:210:16:24

These are my cakes for my charity cake sale!

0:16:280:16:31

Oh!

0:16:310:16:33

Ooh!

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HER TUMMY RUMBLES

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Oh no!

0:16:360:16:37

PFF-RR-RT!

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Oh, Neville! I need to use your loo!

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PFF-RR-RT!

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Uh-oh!

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PFF-RR-RT!

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Looky my eyes. Looky my eyes.

0:16:490:16:53

What would you have me do, Oh Master Nev?

0:16:530:16:57

Loo, no, no, no, no, no.

0:16:570:17:00

Don't use loo. Don't use loo.

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PFF-RR-RT!

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Ooh, dinosaur need loo!

0:17:050:17:08

Dinosaur need loo!

0:17:080:17:11

PFF-RR-RT!

0:17:110:17:12

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

0:17:120:17:14

< He found phone. He found phone.

0:17:140:17:17

Crazy Keith!

0:17:170:17:18

Phewee!

0:17:180:17:20

Crazy Keith. Crazy Keith.

0:17:230:17:25

Found phone. Found phone.

0:17:250:17:29

Oh, yucky.

0:17:320:17:34

Find phones. Must find more phones.

0:17:340:17:37

Uh-oh! Three, two, one... BOO!

0:17:370:17:41

Strewth! I feel a bit weird, Nevy?!

0:17:410:17:44

Hang on, why am I all wet?

0:17:440:17:48

Oh! Ah!

0:17:480:17:50

Please tell me I haven't been diving down the dunny!

0:17:500:17:54

Me dinosaur! Dinosaur need toilet NOW! >

0:17:540:17:58

Quick, Keith, run!

0:17:580:18:01

Come on, Doris, we're out of here.

0:18:010:18:07

GRRRRRAAAGGGGHH!

0:18:070:18:10

Uh oh!

0:18:140:18:16

HE SNORES

0:18:160:18:20

Phone.

0:18:230:18:25

Nev, I'm home. >

0:18:250:18:26

Phewee!

0:18:270:18:28

What's going on?

0:18:350:18:37

Nev? Aunt Bea?

0:18:370:18:39

Nothing.

0:18:390:18:41

Don't need loo. Don't need loo.

0:18:410:18:45

Three, two, one, BOO!

0:18:450:18:47

Oooh!

0:18:470:18:48

Oh, I feel quite out of sorts and I really must use your loo.

0:18:480:18:52

Will you excuse me, Barney and Nev?

0:18:520:18:54

PFF-RR-RT!

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-Excuse me, this is an emergency!

-Yes.

0:18:580:19:02

And it's all your fault, Bear!

0:19:020:19:06

Oh, hello Mr Barney, sir. Let me explain, you see.

0:19:060:19:10

It's all coming back to me now.

0:19:100:19:12

Your bear's been up to no good. He stole my phone.

0:19:120:19:17

-No.

-Hang on a second, Mr Prank.

0:19:170:19:20

I'm sure Nev didn't steal it. You've left it somewhere. I'll call it.

0:19:200:19:25

No, no, no, no. Your bear's got it. You're in trouble now.

0:19:250:19:28

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:19:280:19:30

Excuse me.

0:19:300:19:31

Hello.

0:19:330:19:35

-Nev stole your phone, did he?

-Excuse me, I'm on the phone.

0:19:350:19:39

-Cos I'm on the phone as well. It's me. I'm on the phone.

-Oh yeah!

0:19:390:19:44

-It was in your pocket.

-Yeah.

0:19:440:19:45

Mr Prank, if you've finished doing the shelves,

0:19:450:19:49

Can you help me set this TV up? It's for the bedroom.

0:19:490:19:52

I'll finish the shelves off tomorrow, Mr Barney, sir, OK?

0:19:520:19:57

Won't I, Bear?

0:19:570:19:59

Can't scare me!

0:19:590:20:01

Do you know what I'm gonna do when I get my hands on you, Bear?

0:20:010:20:05

PFF-RR-RT!

0:20:050:20:06

Oooh no! That ain't right! Ooooh!

0:20:060:20:08

PFF-RR-RT!

0:20:080:20:09

Oooh, no! I need the toilet! Oooh!

0:20:090:20:12

Oh, no no! I need it now!

0:20:150:20:20

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:20:200:20:22

Hello?

0:20:220:20:23

Yes, Mr Prank speaking.

0:20:230:20:25

Hello, Flat Six, I will fix the central heating but not yet.

0:20:250:20:30

Oh!

0:20:300:20:32

Ha ha ha!

0:20:320:20:36

Stinky Prank!

0:20:360:20:38

-So what do you think of the new telly, Nev?

-Groovy!

0:20:410:20:45

I'll get the other one fixed soon.

0:20:450:20:47

-Did you learn anything on TV today?

-Nothing.

0:20:470:20:51

Oh well, never mind.

0:20:510:20:52

Oh, it's nearly time for the movie.

0:20:520:20:55

More crispies!

0:20:550:20:57

I don't think so. Not after last time.

0:20:570:21:00

It took months to get the crumbs out of the bed from your crisps.

0:21:000:21:04

NEV SIGHS

0:21:040:21:07

Looky my eyes!

0:21:110:21:15

What would you have me do, O' Master Nev?

0:21:170:21:20

More please!

0:21:200:21:22

More crisps. Must get more crisps.

0:21:220:21:27

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:21:370:21:41

E-mail [email protected]

0:21:410:21:45

Yum Yum! Tip-top-a-roo!

0:21:450:21:48

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