Curse of the Werebear Bear Behaving Badly


Curse of the Werebear

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Oh, wackadoo!

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It's gotta be up here somewhere. Oh.

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, tiger. Easy.

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Yum, yum!

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Oh, wackadoo. Where is it? I've gotta find it quick! Oh.

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Nev, Nev. Look at me.

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Now, remember...what did we talk about? About eating food slowly.

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Barney, Barney - hungry.

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I know but if you eat fast, you'll get a tummy ache.

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-Feel icky.

-CLATTERING

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-Well, exactly. So, eat your food...slowly. OK?

-Yeah-yeah!

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What's up, Keith? Destroying my flat quicker than normal.

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I'm looking for my golden koala medallion. Time's running out.

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Have you guys seen it?

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Golden koala medallion? No, sorry, mate.

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No, no, no, no!

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Oh, strewth!

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Me-dud-i-dun-dun.

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No, it's me-dal-lion.

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Me-dad-i-dun. Dum. Dum.

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Dum. Dum. Dum-de-dum! Dum, dum, de-doo!

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That's close enough.

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Right then, I better get off to work.

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Don't worry, Keith - I'm sure it'll turn up.

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Hey! Looks like someone needs a haircut.

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What?! Oh!

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Surely not.

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-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, mate.

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Oh, no.

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KEITH WAILS

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Hairy Keith.

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Oh! Oh, no!

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HE CONTINUES TO WAIL

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Hmm.

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-Oh, hey, Mr Prank.

-Morning. STOP!

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Stay exactly where you are, do not move a muscle.

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OK.

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I've just varnished the floor and it isn't dry yet.

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Right, well, I do kinda need to get to work, Mr Prank.

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Work? I thought of that, Mr Barney, sir,

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and I've left a walkway to the front door.

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-It's not very big.

-Neither are you.

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Anyway, don't worry about it. Just don't stand on my lovely floor.

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OK. You hold this.

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Got it.

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Here I go.

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DRUM ROLL

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-Steady.

-Whoa.

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-Oh! Whoa!

-No, no, no.

-I've got it. Whoa. Got it.

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-It's fine. OK.

-Easy.

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-Yup. And...there we go!

-Well done.

-Thank you, it was nothing.

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-I've really got to go to work.

-OK.

-See you later.

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-Sorry, Mr Prank, I forgot me bag.

-Oh. There you are.

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Oh! Ah, the floor's not dry yet, is it?

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What? In the five seconds since you left? No, no, it hasn't, no.

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Oops. Sorry.

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Um, I should just... I should probably...

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I...I...yeah.

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Oh, my lovely floor.

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Oh, wackadoo! It's started. Oh, look how hairy I'm getting!

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-Argh!

-Hairy Keith!

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Oh, Nevvy, I'm not sure how to tell you this

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but I have a bit of a situation here.

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Hmm. No problemo, Keith.

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Ta-da! Groovy!

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Hey, yeah, thanks, Nevvy. But my hair's only part of the problem.

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BOING!

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Crikey! It's a quarter to 12! I'm running out of time!

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Argh!

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BOTH: Argh!

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KEITH SCREAMS

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Argh!

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Whoa!

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Argh!

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Oh dear,

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oh dear, oh dear.

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Where is it? Where is it? Where did I put it?

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It must be round here somewhere.

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Oh, come on. Think, Keithy boy, think!

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Oh!

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Don't worry, Doris, darling. Everything's fine.

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Nothing to worry about.

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KEITH WHIMPERS

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-Here I am!

-Oh, Nevvy.

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I need to talk to ya.

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But not in front of...Doris.

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Oh! No problemo. Musico.

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Oh. Wackadoo, Keithy boy. You're in big trouble this time, fella.

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Ta-da!

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Oh!

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Wow! MUSIC PLAYS

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Oh, I'm in big do-do, Nevvy.

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-You know that medallion I'm looking for?

-Me-dab-a-bum.

-Yeah. Medallion.

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Unless I find it real soon, I'm in a whole heap of trouble!

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-Confused.

-You see, there's something I've never told you before.

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My family has a...terrible secret.

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We're...

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-werebears.

-Oh!

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Once a year, on midday, we turn from lovely, cute, cuddly koalas

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into hairy, scary monsters who eat...

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-people's shoes!

-Oh!

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-Frightened.

-Me too. Oh!

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The golden medallion stops me changing but it's gone.

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In five minutes, I could do something werebear scary

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to someone and their shoes!

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Help me, Nev, buddy. You're my only hope.

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Mmm. Aye aye, Captain!

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This was a great idea.

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I can't do anything shoe-eatingly scary chained up.

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-Too right, bro'.

-Oh! And in the nick of time, too!

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BOING!

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-One thing though - what're you gonna do if you need the loo?

-Mmm.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Never mind - it's just for today. He-he.

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Get outta here.

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I don't want you to see me when I...change.

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-OK.

-Thanks again, Nevvy. You're a real pal.

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Yeah-yeah.

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And whatever happens, promise me, you'll take care of Doris.

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She's so emotional.

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If she finds out my secret, it might be too much for her.

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Love you, crazy Keith.

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I think I'm gonna be OK.

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Now, go, go, go, Nev - while there's still time!

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KEITH CRIES

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Six...

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five...um...

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three...

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four...

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Tense? Nervous?

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Speaking as Steve, the talking shoe, how do you think I feel right now?

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-Now, please!

-Cuckoo!

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< Aaaargh!

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Waiting.

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I'm hot-footing it out of here. Argh!

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NEV WHIMPERS

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Oh! Oh!

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Oh!

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CHOMPING

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Keith?

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Aaaargh!

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Aaaaah!

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NEV MOANS

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That'll do.

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It's not perfect, but who's gonna know?

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I will know!

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Urgh, urgh. Urgh.

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Ah, Miss Barbara, ma'am... Ma'am.

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May I say how lovely you are looking today?

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This old thing? Something I threw on.

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But I am particularly pleased with my new shoes.

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Oh, yes. They are very...

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-eye-catching.

-Yes.

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Unlike this floor.

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Do it again, Plank. I want to see my face in it!

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But...but it's wood. You can't see your reflection in wood...

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is what a foolish person might say, not me, no.

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Oh, you'll see your face in this floor or my name isn't...

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Little, cute, hairy fellow!

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Little, cute... you've never called me that!

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-No, not you - him!

-Aargh!

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Who's a charming little fellow, then?

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Grr. Shoes!

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KEITH SNARLS

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Raargh!

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-BARBARA SCREAMS

-Get him off!

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Please stop!

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BARBARA SHRIEKS

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Get off! Oh!

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SHOUTING CONTINUES

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Ah. Ah, there.

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I think I chased him off, Miss Barbara - I chased him off.

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Oh, my floor! Ow! But at least you're all right.

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I'm not all right!

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You have until this evening

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to get rid of that overgrown, long-haired rat!

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Or I'll get rid of you!

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Phew. Oh, I tell you,

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I'm glad I'm down here.

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That werebear is shoe crazy!

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Oh, no! He's after me!

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Quick, Steve, time to think on your feet.

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Rarrgh. Oh.

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-SPANISH ACCENT:

-I am a wandering, Mexican tourist.

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Arriba, arriba!

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Are you looking for shoes? Yes?

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Rargh! Shoes! Rargh!

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I saw a crazy talking shoe come through here earlier.

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-He went that-a-way.

-Oh.

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Thank you.

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It's lucky for me that werebear wasn't too bright.

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KEITH SNIFFS

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Oh!

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Ohh...

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Ohh!

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Hairy Keith? Hairy Keith?

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Oh! Shoes!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Promise me you'll take care of Doris.

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Uh-oh. Doris!

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KEITH SNIFFS

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Oh, lovely.

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Quick, Doris, run!

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HE GASPS

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Aaarrrgh!

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Hello!

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DISTANT ROARING

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Boing, boing, boing.

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Aaagh!

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GROWLING

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Raargh! Raargh!

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Hairy Keith, Hairy Keith!

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Huh? Huh? Oh!

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Doris!

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Raaargh!

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No problemo!

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Raaargh!

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Hairy Keith, OK!

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Here, hairy monster!

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Nice hairy monster.

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Mr Angry Pants! Uh-oh.

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Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

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HE SNEEZES

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Oh, it's you, bear. I thought it was that annoying little hairy monster.

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-Oh!

-Well, it is.

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But not the one I was looking for.

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

-What's that?

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Oh, I got this blowpipe off my mate, Dodgy Dave.

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It fires these tranquillisers.

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Oh!

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I get the hairy fiend in me sights and...he's out cold.

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Wakes up three hours later in the zoo.

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-No, no, no, no!

-Yeah!

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-Ssshh! Angry Pants.

-Raaargh!

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KNOCKING

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I'm coming in, bear!

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Aaaaaargh!

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MUSIC PLAYS

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What are you up to, bear?

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Booty! Booty!

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Booty shaking at a time like this?

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You are a couple of sandwiches short of a teddy bears' picnic.

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Oooh, umm...groovy.

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Oh, yes, I'm far too clever for any demented fur ball.

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Nothing gets past me.

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Um, um, aye aye, Captain!

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I can smell trouble!

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HE SNEEZES

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Yucky.

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I know every trick in the blue bear book.

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-Including...

-Phew-ey.

-..pretending to be...

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a cushion! Ha-ha!

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Well, er, you can't be too careful, bear.

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Hmm. Too right, bro'.

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Oh! Lookee! Muma-muma-dabbie...muh-dallie...

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dadi-bun, dabi-dun, me-dabie... Oh, yes!

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-My new medallion!

-But, but, but, but, but, no!

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-Nice, isn't it, bear?

-No, no, no, no - not yours!

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Oh, but it is. I found it in the hallway.

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Finders keepers, losers weepers.

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HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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Mr Plank! >

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-Where are you? >

-I'll be right back, bear.

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Grr.

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-Phrrrrt!

-I'm coming!

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Keith, Keith! Me-dabi-dum.

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-Raaargh!

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Oh.

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CHOMPING

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-Mmm.

-HE BURPS

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Hungry.

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Have you found the mutant rat?

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That's a good question. Almost. Very nearly. Any second...

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No, then!

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-Well, no. No, no, no, I haven't, no.

-Whoa!

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Woof! Barbara! Woof, woof!

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Oh, little Nevvy-wevvy!

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Who's a good little doggie, then?

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Does somebody want a treat?

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Angry Pants. Grr.

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HE SNEEZES

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Me-dabi-dum! Me-dalli... muh, muh...thingy!

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There we are - your little treat.

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Wait for it. Wait for it! And...go!

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Oh, good boy.

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Now, Mr Plank. You'd better find that wild beast that ate my shoes.

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Rest assured, ma'am, the situation is completely in hand.

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CLATTERING

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Oh!

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< Raaargh!

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Raaargh!

0:17:350:17:37

-Quickly, do something!

-I am!

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Just let me load up me tranquilliser dart

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and he'll be going for a little kip.

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Right, you crazy little fur ball.

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You've messed with the wrong caretaker.

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-Do it now!

-Where did that go?

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Oh dear.

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Time...for a nap.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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He-he-he-he. Ah!

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Shoes!

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Muma-dabi-dum.

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Plank! Plank, wake up, Plank!

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Oh, five more minutes, Mummy.

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I'm not frightened of you!

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NEV WHISTLES

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Oh!

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Doris!

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Doris!

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Oh, Doris.

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Doris.

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Can't scare me!

0:18:560:18:58

Ahhh!

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-Aaargh!

-Three...

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two...one! Muma-dabi-bun!

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Aaaah! I'm back, babe. Bonzer!

0:19:160:19:20

You found me golden medallion, Nevvy. I'm cured!

0:19:200:19:23

Me-dabi-dun, me-dabi-dum, dum...yeah-yeah! OK, Keith?

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Yeah, I think so. I've got a bit of a headache...

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my mouth tastes of old socks, ha-ha! That aside, I feel great.

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Groovy!

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What exactly happened? I can't remember a thing.

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Did I cause trouble when I was - ahem -

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raaargh?

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Um...no way, Jose.

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Oh, phew! That's a relief! Ha-ha!

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Hey, Nev!

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Nev! Barney!

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Sorry, Barney.

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I thought you were a small, hairy, shoe-eating rodent!

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Well, easy mistake to make.

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Happens all the time. You OK, Aunt Barbara?

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Yes. You see, there was this little monster and he ate my shoes!

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Of course he did.

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Maybe you'd like to go and have a lie-down?

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Yes, I am feeling a little tired.

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But remain alert though!

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He's a clever little fellow. And vicious!

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OK. Bye, then.

0:20:330:20:37

She needs to get out more. She doesn't half believe weird stuff.

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Hey! What happened to me shoes, Nev?

0:20:420:20:45

Umm...do-do-do, do-do-do-do. Do-do-do.

0:20:450:20:51

There you go, mate.

0:20:520:20:54

You must be worn out - catching that werebear by yourself.

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You did brilliantly.

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No problemo!

0:20:590:21:00

I know Keith feels bad

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but I wish he wouldn't make me new slippers.

0:21:020:21:05

-He's made these latest ones out of tissue boxes.

-Ha-ha-ha!

0:21:050:21:09

Ha-ha-ha! Groovy!

0:21:090:21:11

-Whoa!

-Oh, Barney!

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It's OK, I'm fine. I'm OK.

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-More slippees than slippers.

-Mmm.

0:21:150:21:18

Anyway, night-night, mate.

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-Love you, Barney.

-I love you too.

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Goodnight, everybody!

0:21:240:21:26

Did you hear that, Nev?

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Nev?

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Night, Nev.

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