Curse of the Werebear Bear Behaving Badly


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Curse of the Werebear

Comedy series starring Barney Harwood and Nev the bear. Crazy Keith the koala has lost his medallion and without it he turns into a scary, shoe-eating monster.


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Transcript


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Oh, wackadoo!

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It's gotta be up here somewhere. Oh.

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, tiger. Easy.

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Yum, yum!

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Oh, wackadoo. Where is it? I've gotta find it quick! Oh.

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Nev, Nev. Look at me.

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Now, remember...what did we talk about? About eating food slowly.

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Barney, Barney - hungry.

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I know but if you eat fast, you'll get a tummy ache.

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-Feel icky.

-CLATTERING

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-Well, exactly. So, eat your food...slowly. OK?

-Yeah-yeah!

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What's up, Keith? Destroying my flat quicker than normal.

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I'm looking for my golden koala medallion. Time's running out.

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Have you guys seen it?

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Golden koala medallion? No, sorry, mate.

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No, no, no, no!

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Oh, strewth!

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Me-dud-i-dun-dun.

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No, it's me-dal-lion.

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Me-dad-i-dun. Dum. Dum.

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Dum. Dum. Dum-de-dum! Dum, dum, de-doo!

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That's close enough.

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Right then, I better get off to work.

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Don't worry, Keith - I'm sure it'll turn up.

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Hey! Looks like someone needs a haircut.

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What?! Oh!

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Surely not.

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-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, mate.

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Oh, no.

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KEITH WAILS

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Hairy Keith.

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Oh! Oh, no!

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HE CONTINUES TO WAIL

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Hmm.

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-Oh, hey, Mr Prank.

-Morning. STOP!

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Stay exactly where you are, do not move a muscle.

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OK.

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I've just varnished the floor and it isn't dry yet.

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Right, well, I do kinda need to get to work, Mr Prank.

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Work? I thought of that, Mr Barney, sir,

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and I've left a walkway to the front door.

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-It's not very big.

-Neither are you.

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Anyway, don't worry about it. Just don't stand on my lovely floor.

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OK. You hold this.

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Got it.

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Here I go.

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DRUM ROLL

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-Steady.

-Whoa.

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-Oh! Whoa!

-No, no, no.

-I've got it. Whoa. Got it.

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-It's fine. OK.

-Easy.

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-Yup. And...there we go!

-Well done.

-Thank you, it was nothing.

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-I've really got to go to work.

-OK.

-See you later.

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-Sorry, Mr Prank, I forgot me bag.

-Oh. There you are.

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Oh! Ah, the floor's not dry yet, is it?

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What? In the five seconds since you left? No, no, it hasn't, no.

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Oops. Sorry.

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Um, I should just... I should probably...

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I...I...yeah.

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Oh, my lovely floor.

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Oh, wackadoo! It's started. Oh, look how hairy I'm getting!

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-Argh!

-Hairy Keith!

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Oh, Nevvy, I'm not sure how to tell you this

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but I have a bit of a situation here.

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Hmm. No problemo, Keith.

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Ta-da! Groovy!

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Hey, yeah, thanks, Nevvy. But my hair's only part of the problem.

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BOING!

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Crikey! It's a quarter to 12! I'm running out of time!

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Argh!

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BOTH: Argh!

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KEITH SCREAMS

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Argh!

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Whoa!

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Argh!

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Oh dear,

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oh dear, oh dear.

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Where is it? Where is it? Where did I put it?

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It must be round here somewhere.

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Oh, come on. Think, Keithy boy, think!

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Oh!

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Don't worry, Doris, darling. Everything's fine.

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Nothing to worry about.

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KEITH WHIMPERS

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-Here I am!

-Oh, Nevvy.

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I need to talk to ya.

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But not in front of...Doris.

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Oh! No problemo. Musico.

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Oh. Wackadoo, Keithy boy. You're in big trouble this time, fella.

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Ta-da!

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Oh!

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Wow! MUSIC PLAYS

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Oh, I'm in big do-do, Nevvy.

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-You know that medallion I'm looking for?

-Me-dab-a-bum.

-Yeah. Medallion.

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Unless I find it real soon, I'm in a whole heap of trouble!

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-Confused.

-You see, there's something I've never told you before.

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My family has a...terrible secret.

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We're...

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-werebears.

-Oh!

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Once a year, on midday, we turn from lovely, cute, cuddly koalas

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into hairy, scary monsters who eat...

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-people's shoes!

-Oh!

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-Frightened.

-Me too. Oh!

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The golden medallion stops me changing but it's gone.

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In five minutes, I could do something werebear scary

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to someone and their shoes!

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Help me, Nev, buddy. You're my only hope.

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Mmm. Aye aye, Captain!

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This was a great idea.

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I can't do anything shoe-eatingly scary chained up.

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-Too right, bro'.

-Oh! And in the nick of time, too!

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BOING!

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-One thing though - what're you gonna do if you need the loo?

-Mmm.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Never mind - it's just for today. He-he.

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Get outta here.

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I don't want you to see me when I...change.

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-OK.

-Thanks again, Nevvy. You're a real pal.

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Yeah-yeah.

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And whatever happens, promise me, you'll take care of Doris.

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She's so emotional.

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If she finds out my secret, it might be too much for her.

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Love you, crazy Keith.

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I think I'm gonna be OK.

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Now, go, go, go, Nev - while there's still time!

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KEITH CRIES

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Six...

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five...um...

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three...

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four...

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Tense? Nervous?

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Speaking as Steve, the talking shoe, how do you think I feel right now?

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-Now, please!

-Cuckoo!

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< Aaaargh!

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Waiting.

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I'm hot-footing it out of here. Argh!

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NEV WHIMPERS

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Oh! Oh!

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Oh!

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CHOMPING

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Keith?

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Aaaargh!

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Aaaaah!

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NEV MOANS

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That'll do.

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It's not perfect, but who's gonna know?

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I will know!

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Urgh, urgh. Urgh.

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Ah, Miss Barbara, ma'am... Ma'am.

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May I say how lovely you are looking today?

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This old thing? Something I threw on.

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But I am particularly pleased with my new shoes.

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Oh, yes. They are very...

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-eye-catching.

-Yes.

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Unlike this floor.

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Do it again, Plank. I want to see my face in it!

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But...but it's wood. You can't see your reflection in wood...

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is what a foolish person might say, not me, no.

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Oh, you'll see your face in this floor or my name isn't...

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Little, cute, hairy fellow!

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Little, cute... you've never called me that!

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-No, not you - him!

-Aargh!

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Who's a charming little fellow, then?

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Grr. Shoes!

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KEITH SNARLS

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Raargh!

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-BARBARA SCREAMS

-Get him off!

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Please stop!

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BARBARA SHRIEKS

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Get off! Oh!

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SHOUTING CONTINUES

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Ah. Ah, there.

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I think I chased him off, Miss Barbara - I chased him off.

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Oh, my floor! Ow! But at least you're all right.

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I'm not all right!

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You have until this evening

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to get rid of that overgrown, long-haired rat!

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Or I'll get rid of you!

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Phew. Oh, I tell you,

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I'm glad I'm down here.

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That werebear is shoe crazy!

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Oh, no! He's after me!

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Quick, Steve, time to think on your feet.

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Rarrgh. Oh.

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-SPANISH ACCENT:

-I am a wandering, Mexican tourist.

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Arriba, arriba!

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Are you looking for shoes? Yes?

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Rargh! Shoes! Rargh!

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I saw a crazy talking shoe come through here earlier.

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-He went that-a-way.

-Oh.

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Thank you.

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It's lucky for me that werebear wasn't too bright.

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KEITH SNIFFS

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Oh!

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Ohh...

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Ohh!

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Hairy Keith? Hairy Keith?

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Oh! Shoes!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Promise me you'll take care of Doris.

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Uh-oh. Doris!

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KEITH SNIFFS

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Oh, lovely.

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Quick, Doris, run!

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HE GASPS

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Aaarrrgh!

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Hello!

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DISTANT ROARING

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Boing, boing, boing.

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Aaagh!

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GROWLING

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Raargh! Raargh!

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Hairy Keith, Hairy Keith!

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Huh? Huh? Oh!

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Doris!

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Raaargh!

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No problemo!

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Raaargh!

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Hairy Keith, OK!

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Here, hairy monster!

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Nice hairy monster.

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Mr Angry Pants! Uh-oh.

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Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

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HE SNEEZES

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Oh, it's you, bear. I thought it was that annoying little hairy monster.

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-Oh!

-Well, it is.

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But not the one I was looking for.

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

-What's that?

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Oh, I got this blowpipe off my mate, Dodgy Dave.

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It fires these tranquillisers.

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Oh!

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I get the hairy fiend in me sights and...he's out cold.

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Wakes up three hours later in the zoo.

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-No, no, no, no!

-Yeah!

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-Ssshh! Angry Pants.

-Raaargh!

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KNOCKING

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I'm coming in, bear!

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Aaaaaargh!

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MUSIC PLAYS

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What are you up to, bear?

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Booty! Booty!

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Booty shaking at a time like this?

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You are a couple of sandwiches short of a teddy bears' picnic.

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Oooh, umm...groovy.

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Oh, yes, I'm far too clever for any demented fur ball.

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Nothing gets past me.

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Um, um, aye aye, Captain!

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I can smell trouble!

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HE SNEEZES

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Yucky.

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I know every trick in the blue bear book.

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-Including...

-Phew-ey.

-..pretending to be...

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a cushion! Ha-ha!

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Well, er, you can't be too careful, bear.

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Hmm. Too right, bro'.

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Oh! Lookee! Muma-muma-dabbie...muh-dallie...

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dadi-bun, dabi-dun, me-dabie... Oh, yes!

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-My new medallion!

-But, but, but, but, but, no!

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-Nice, isn't it, bear?

-No, no, no, no - not yours!

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Oh, but it is. I found it in the hallway.

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Finders keepers, losers weepers.

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HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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Mr Plank! >

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-Where are you? >

-I'll be right back, bear.

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Grr.

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-Phrrrrt!

-I'm coming!

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Keith, Keith! Me-dabi-dum.

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-Raaargh!

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Oh.

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CHOMPING

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-Mmm.

-HE BURPS

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Hungry.

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Have you found the mutant rat?

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That's a good question. Almost. Very nearly. Any second...

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No, then!

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-Well, no. No, no, no, I haven't, no.

-Whoa!

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Woof! Barbara! Woof, woof!

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Oh, little Nevvy-wevvy!

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Who's a good little doggie, then?

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Does somebody want a treat?

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Angry Pants. Grr.

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HE SNEEZES

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Me-dabi-dum! Me-dalli... muh, muh...thingy!

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There we are - your little treat.

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Wait for it. Wait for it! And...go!

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Oh, good boy.

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Now, Mr Plank. You'd better find that wild beast that ate my shoes.

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Rest assured, ma'am, the situation is completely in hand.

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CLATTERING

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Oh!

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< Raaargh!

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Raaargh!

0:17:350:17:37

-Quickly, do something!

-I am!

0:17:380:17:40

Just let me load up me tranquilliser dart

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and he'll be going for a little kip.

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Right, you crazy little fur ball.

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You've messed with the wrong caretaker.

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-Do it now!

-Where did that go?

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Oh dear.

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Time...for a nap.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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He-he-he-he. Ah!

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Shoes!

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Muma-dabi-dum.

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Plank! Plank, wake up, Plank!

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Oh, five more minutes, Mummy.

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I'm not frightened of you!

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NEV WHISTLES

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Oh!

0:18:310:18:32

Doris!

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Doris!

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Oh, Doris.

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Doris.

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Can't scare me!

0:18:560:18:58

Ahhh!

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-Aaargh!

-Three...

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two...one! Muma-dabi-bun!

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Aaaah! I'm back, babe. Bonzer!

0:19:160:19:20

You found me golden medallion, Nevvy. I'm cured!

0:19:200:19:23

Me-dabi-dun, me-dabi-dum, dum...yeah-yeah! OK, Keith?

0:19:230:19:27

Yeah, I think so. I've got a bit of a headache...

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my mouth tastes of old socks, ha-ha! That aside, I feel great.

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Groovy!

0:19:350:19:36

What exactly happened? I can't remember a thing.

0:19:360:19:39

Did I cause trouble when I was - ahem -

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raaargh?

0:19:420:19:43

Um...no way, Jose.

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Oh, phew! That's a relief! Ha-ha!

0:19:460:19:49

Hey, Nev!

0:19:540:19:55

Nev! Barney!

0:19:560:19:58

Sorry, Barney.

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I thought you were a small, hairy, shoe-eating rodent!

0:20:000:20:04

Well, easy mistake to make.

0:20:070:20:09

Happens all the time. You OK, Aunt Barbara?

0:20:090:20:12

Yes. You see, there was this little monster and he ate my shoes!

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Of course he did.

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Maybe you'd like to go and have a lie-down?

0:20:190:20:22

Yes, I am feeling a little tired.

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But remain alert though!

0:20:250:20:27

He's a clever little fellow. And vicious!

0:20:270:20:32

OK. Bye, then.

0:20:330:20:37

She needs to get out more. She doesn't half believe weird stuff.

0:20:370:20:42

Hey! What happened to me shoes, Nev?

0:20:420:20:45

Umm...do-do-do, do-do-do-do. Do-do-do.

0:20:450:20:51

There you go, mate.

0:20:520:20:54

You must be worn out - catching that werebear by yourself.

0:20:540:20:58

You did brilliantly.

0:20:580:20:59

No problemo!

0:20:590:21:00

I know Keith feels bad

0:21:000:21:02

but I wish he wouldn't make me new slippers.

0:21:020:21:05

-He's made these latest ones out of tissue boxes.

-Ha-ha-ha!

0:21:050:21:09

Ha-ha-ha! Groovy!

0:21:090:21:11

-Whoa!

-Oh, Barney!

0:21:110:21:13

It's OK, I'm fine. I'm OK.

0:21:130:21:15

-More slippees than slippers.

-Mmm.

0:21:150:21:18

Anyway, night-night, mate.

0:21:180:21:21

-Love you, Barney.

-I love you too.

0:21:210:21:23

Goodnight, everybody!

0:21:240:21:26

Did you hear that, Nev?

0:21:300:21:32

Nev?

0:21:320:21:34

Night, Nev.

0:21:360:21:38

Subtitles by Charlotte Farmer Red Bee Media Ltd

0:21:380:21:41

E-mail [email protected]

0:21:410:21:44

Crazy Keith the koala has lost his medallion and without it he's cursed to turn into a hairy, scary, shoe-eating monster. Determined to keep Keith's werebear curse a secret, Nev decides to chain Keith to the loo until the monstrous transformation passes.

Just when Nev thinks everyone's shoes are safe, the werebeary, scary Crazy Keith breaks free from the bathroom and nobody, least of all Aunt Barbara, is prepared for the ensuing havoc.