Around the Flat in 80 Days Bear Behaving Badly


Around the Flat in 80 Days

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Nev, have you seen my swimming goggles? Nev!

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It's me! Barney, Barney. Holiday!

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I'm sorry. You can't come with me.

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It's a work trip and they've only given me one ticket.

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Hm. You'll get lonely.

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I know, but it's only for two days. I'll get you a present.

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Helicoppy?

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A helicopter? I was thinking more a t-shirt. We'll see.

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Tip-top-a-roo!

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-I've asked Beatrice to look after you.

-Beetroot!

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-But she's visiting her granny, so I asked Aunt Barbara.

-Barbara!

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She's getting her hair done - it takes four days apparently.

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-So we're gonna have to ask...

-Crazy Keith.

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Well, no, I was thinking more... Caretaker Prank.

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Aagh!

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-Angry Pants?

-I know you're not the best of friends,

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but you're gonna need a responsible adult to...

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Oh, Nev! I packed that really neatly as well.

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Wagh! Waagh!

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Come on. This will be a chance for you to get to know Mr Prank better.

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And I'd feel better knowing you weren't here on your own.

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Um, OK.

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Come on, Then. Let's go and ask him.

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look. When he answers the door be nice to him.

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Otherwise he won't agree to look after you.

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Hmm.

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Oh, hello, Mr Barney, sir. What a pleasant surprise.

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What brings you all the way from... over there?

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Um, well, um... I need to ask you a favour.

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Oh, yes?

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-Doh.

-Yeah.

-Do-do-doh.

-I'm going away for a couple of days.

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-I'm going to Egypt...

-DO-DO-DO-DO-DOH!

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Presenting a TV show and I need someone to look after the flat.

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-Afraid not. Far too busy. Sorry.

-Do-do-doh!

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Hang on a minute...

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RASPBERRY

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Two days? This weekend? Oh yes, sir. Of course!

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RASPBERRY

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-Great. I need someone to look after Nev, as well.

-Neville the bear?

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Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

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Achoo!

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-Do-do-do.

-He's normally OK on his own...

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-Boing, boing.

-..someone needs to pop in and make sure he's OK.

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-Boing, boing...

-That shouldn't be a problem, sir.

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-After all... Achoo! He's never any trouble, is he?

-No!

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-Are you OK?

-Oh, yeah. Choo!

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I'm not allergic to blue bears or anything.

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I've just got a slight cold.

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OK. That's great, then. Thank you very much.

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-Do-do-do!

-My pleasure, Mr Barney, sir!

-See you.

-Bye. Choo! Bear!

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-Rrrr!

-RASPBERRY

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-Tch. Hmm.

-What a lovely guy. He said yes -

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-despite your messing about.

-Tch. Frightened.

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OK. I've got a list of treats for Nev.

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Right.

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We need to wash behind the ears.

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-Right.

-He likes it when you sing to him.

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-Mainly R'n'B.

-Rhythm and Blues.

-The very same.

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Not too much TV - and never feed him after midnight.

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-Oh, right.

-OK?

-OK, Mr Barney. That's fine.

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You go off and enjoy yourself and don't work too hard.

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I'll try not to.

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-Nev, behave yourself for Mr Prank. All right, mate.

-Aye-aye, Captain!

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-I'll see you in a couple of days.

-Love you, Barney.

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-Love you too, mate.

-Goodbye, Mr Barney, sir.

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Right. It's just you and me, Bear. Achoo!

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-Oh-oh.

-You probably think I'm going to come chasing after you

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and pull you apart stitch by stitch.

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Agh! Well, I'm not. You can do whatever you like.

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I don't care.

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Confused.

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I agreed to look after you for one reason alone -

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so I can watch Mr Barney's television.

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-THWACK

-Ow! Ouch!

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You've got The Astronaut Channel in your flat, Bear.

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They're showing a special Space Trek marathon all weekend.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Wagh!!

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Oh-oh.

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Oh. Oh. Heh.

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TELEVISION PLAYS

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Oh, yes, that's better. Yes. Oh, oh, oh!

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-Space Trek! The complete fifth series!

-Heh-heh?

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You keep out of my way, Bear, and we'll get on just fine.

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No problemo.

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Do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. Oh!

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Miaow!

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AGGHHH!!

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Oh, yes, I forgot to mention, I brought Bandit the cat with me!

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No point wasting my good food

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when he can eat yours! Ha-ha!

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-MIARGHH-ARGH!

-Ooh!

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One other thing, Bear. If this flat's a mess when Mr Barney gets back,

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and it will be, I'll make sure you get all the blame.

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No-no-no-no!

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What's that, Mr Barney? A messy flat? I don't know how that happened.

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When I looked in it was spotless.

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-It must that bear that makes all the mess.

-Oh!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Oh. Yucky.

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-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

-Oh.

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Oh.

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Miss you, Barney.

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Dooh, dooh! Take that, Overlord...!

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..Oh, run, oh...

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..no, no, no...

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..and leave the door open so I don't have to get up for the next delivery.

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Belch! Ah, Space Trek!

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-Miaow!

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Miarrgh! Warrgh!

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Thanks, Bandit!

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TELEVISION PLAYS

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Yawn! Achoo!

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Oh! Waah!

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Try that again, Bear and I'll eat you on pizza!

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NEV BLOWS RASPBERRY

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Whoa! Oh! Ah.

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Crazy Keith! Coming!

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What do you reckon, Doris?

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Do these swimming goggles make me look intrepid?

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-They do, don't they?

-Agh! Oh!

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Ha-ha! Hi there, Nevvy!

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Is that pizza I can smell?

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Sure is, Crazy Keith.

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I'm all for comfort food at times like this! Any left for me?

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Belch!

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Ah, well, I guess it's not me that needs comfortin', huh?

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Yeah. Me a little lonely.

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Can't sleep? Miss Barney, eh?

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Too right, bro.

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What about Angry Pants? Huh!

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Pow, pow! The clawed toenail! Ha-ha!

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Struth! Gotta hand it to him. That guy sure knows how to slob out.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Tell you what you should do, Nevvy. You should take a holiday too.

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Um...

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Yeah. As it happens Doris and I

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have been planning a little trip for some time.

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You can come with us if you like.

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-Oh!

-Is that all right, doll?

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-I think that was a yes!

-Tip-top-a-roo!

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Ha-ha! It's a ballooning expedition.

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We've got the balloons, the basket -

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-Ta-ra!

-Oh.

-We're all ready to take to the skies!

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What do you say, Nevvy?

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Now, please!

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Bonza! Pack your trunk and we'll see you back here ready for lift off!

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Aye-aye, Captain!

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Ha-ha! Good on you, mate!

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TELEVISION PLAYS

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A... A...

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A... A... A... A...

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-Angry Pants?

-ACHOO!

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Ooh-ooh!

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Bear!

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Ha-ha! Just secure that there and...

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Ah! Ready to go?

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-Mmm!

-Ha!

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Three, two, one.

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Cast off, Nevvy!

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-Wo-ho-ho-ho!

-Wah-ha!

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-We're floatin', Doris!

-Zip-a-dee-ah!

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-So long!

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Bye!

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-Gently, now. Gently.

-Zip-a-dee-ah!

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Keep it down, Nevvy. We don't want Angry Pants to see us.

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OK.

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-Miaow!

-Ha-ha! Don't recognise me, do you, Bandit?

-Miaow!

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My name's Crazy Keith and I'm twice as tough as you!

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Miaargh!

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-Quick!

-I can't go any faster, Nev. I can't control this thing.

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-We just go how and where the wind takes us!

-Miarrgh!

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Stop your whining, Bandit!

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If you're hungry, go and eat that bear!

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Miargh! Myeah!

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-Woo-hoo! Zoom!

-What an adventure! Ha-ha!

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-Too right, bro.

-We could go anywhere in this thing.

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We could see the world - Mexico, India, Bognor...

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-Whoa!

-Oh.

-Ah! What a view!

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So, what can you see, Nev?

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Um... Confused.

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Here you go. Why not have a look at the map?

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Meanwhile, I've brought along some scientific equipment to do...

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some experiments with. Heh-heh!

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Now...according to my calculations,

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we're cruising at an altitude of 12,000 feet

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and currently on our way down the High Street.

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Yeah, this is definitely the High Street!

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Look, there's the florist, right, Nevvy?

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-Um...

-Yeah.

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Who-o-o-o-ah!

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And that of course is the local swimming baths!

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-Oh!

-You're studying that map very closely, Nev.

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What can you see?

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Nothing! I can't see!

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Bear! You're very quiet in that bedroom.

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Not planning anything, are you?

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Good.

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Just stay in there and behave yourself, will you?

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Ahh. This is the life.

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NEV SINGS

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Look! Barney!

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Oh, wackadoo! So it is!

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Egypt. The Great Pyramids.

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Ancient, mysterious and beautiful.

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-It's almost as if you can hear them calling out.

-Barney!

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'And...cut there.

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'Let's take a five-minute break, everyone. Thank you.'

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Barney! Up here, man!

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Barney!

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That sounded like Nev!

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I think it must be the heat. Can I get a glass of water?

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-Up here, mate!

-Barney!

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Oh...miss you, Barney.

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Oi! Barney!

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Ah, no good, Nev. He's missed us. Shame.

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-We could have given him a lift home.

-Never mind.

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Speaking of home, I wonder how Angry Pants is getting on without you?

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Bear! I'm going for a little nap!

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I'll be back for more Space Trek later.

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And don't think I'm tidying any of this up!

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Bear!

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Bear?

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Bear!

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Bear!

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Where have you got to, Bear?

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I expect the cat's eaten him. Good riddance, too, I say.

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I'll just tell Mr Barney that young Neville's run off to join the circus.

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I say. This is nice and soft!

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I suppose if there's no-one else here to sleep in it

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I might as well make myself comfy!

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Ace! Trekkie!

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Ahh! Beautiful sight, isn't it, Doris?

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Not as beautiful as your eyes.

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Yucky!

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Nev! I, er, thought you were asleep.

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-No way, Jose.

-I was just telling Doris that, er...

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We're about to cross the border between Vietnam and China.

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Slight miscalculation there, buddy.

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-Here we are!

-Yeah. Home sweet home, Nevvy.

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Whoa!

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Is it just me, or is this balloon losing height?

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WHIMPERING

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Hang on, Nevvy.

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Ah...ah! We're definitely sinking, buddy.

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Oh, dear.

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Ah!

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All those pizza boxes remind me. We've not had a bite to eat all day!

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-Hungry.

-Let's catch ourselves some tucker, buddy!

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Here goes!

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Oh, wackadoo!

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Oh, never mind.

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-SNORING

-What's that noise, Nevvy?

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Sounds like the drains are about to explode!

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-Angry Pants!

-And in YOUR bed!

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What a liberty.

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Whoa! Looks like I've caught something! It's a whopper!

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Whoa!

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I've got to get out of here, Nevvy!

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-I can't have Angry Pants wake up and see me!

-Aye-aye, Captain!

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-HE BLOWS

-It's not working, Nevvy!

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-We're in a tricky situation here.

-Too right, bro!

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And we're losing height fast!

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Any more of this and we'll land on his great snoring schnozz!

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-Oh dear oh dear oh dear!

-We've got to lose ballast!

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Throw out anything heavy.

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Keep the noise down, Nevvy! Don't want to wake him!

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SNORES

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It's no good, Nev, we're still losing height!

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We're too heavy! One of us will have to jump.

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-NEVILLE WHIMPERS

-You'll be OK, mate.

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There's a nice soft bed to cushion the fall

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-and I can hardly ask Doris. She's too ladylike.

-OK.

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Go for it, Nevvy!

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Three. Two.

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-One.

-Miaow!

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-Ah!

-Crikey! It's Bandit!

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Miaow! Yowrr!

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-Fwightened!

-It's a tricky one. There must be another way out of here.

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-Let me get my torch.

-Miaow!

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ANGRY PANTS MUTTERS

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Who's there?!

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-Didgeridoo-dah!

-Wonder problemo!

0:16:220:16:26

I said who's...? Aliens!

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It's aliens, innit? Just like on Space Trek!

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Aliens?! What's he talking about?

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What planet are you from?

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Do...you...come...in...peace?

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Come in peace? What's...?

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Oh, I get it! Watch this, Nevvy!

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-ECHOEY VOICE:

-I am the supreme overlord of the Koala galaxy!

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I command all the planets of your solar system!

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My name is...

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Keith!

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Do not hurt me!

0:16:570:16:59

-Keith?

-Too late!

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I've come all the way from the planet Oz

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in the distant Antipodes to punish you

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for your treatment of the blue bear Neville!

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I'm so sorry! I promise I'll be nice to him in the future!

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-How nice?

-Very nice!

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Very nice is not sufficient, Mr Pants!

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-Prepare to be vaporised!

-No, no, no!

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Have mercy!

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Oh, very well.

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Tomorrow I want you to tidy the flat for Neville.

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-I will, I will.

-And you'll make his favourite food for him all day.

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And take him ice skating. AND buy him a fantastic new hat.

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-I will, I promise, yeah!

-Zip-a-dee-ah!

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-What was that?

-Ssh!

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Ssh.

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-What's going on up there?

-Never you mind, puny Earthling!

0:17:450:17:48

-Just do as I command!

-I will, I will, I promise!

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-Achoo!

-Ouch!

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Hey, Nev! We're rising again! Nev!

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NEV GROANS Achoo!

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Who-o-o-oah!

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Phew! There was a lucky escape.

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-Too right, bro!

-HISSING

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-BANDIT GROWLS

-Oh, no!

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We've got to get out of here!

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CRASHING

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LOUD BANGS

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HOWLING

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Miaaaaow!

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Hahaha! Bad luck, pussycat!

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-Enjoy your trip!

-Bye bye!

0:18:290:18:32

Right, Nevvy. Let's help ourselves to some of this pizza.

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-Then you can stay over down at our place.

-Yeah-yeah!

-Great!

0:18:380:18:42

I'm sorry, Keith, Your Supreme Highness Sir!

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Thank you for sparing my life!

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Look - I'm tidying the bed for Mr Barney, sir!

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I'm tidying everything away.

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And I'll wash all the bedsheets,

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and I'll turn the mattress and I'll polish the bed!

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And I'll leave a little mint on the pillow

0:19:050:19:08

as a treat for Mr Barney and Mr Bear! How's that? Is that all right, sir?

0:19:080:19:12

Your Cosmic Lordship, sir?

0:19:120:19:15

Yeah. Egypt was just brilliant.

0:19:170:19:20

I'm just hoping Nev's kept the flat tidy while I've been away.

0:19:200:19:24

Yeah. OK, I've got to go. See you later. Bye.

0:19:240:19:27

Wow!

0:19:310:19:32

Am I in the right flat?

0:19:320:19:34

-Barney!

-Hello, mate, how have you been?

0:19:340:19:38

-Missed you, Barney.

-I missed you too. Nice hat, by the way.

0:19:380:19:41

-I hope he's not been too much trouble.

-Oh, no, sir, no.

0:19:410:19:44

He's been as good as gold.

0:19:440:19:46

-We've been getting on really well, haven't we?

-Um...

0:19:460:19:50

I've done everything I can think of to make him comfortable and happy!

0:19:500:19:54

-Too right, bro!

-That's very nice of you, Mr Prank.

0:19:540:19:58

-You can bear-sit more often if you like.

-Yeah-yeah!

0:19:580:20:01

Any time, Mr Barney, sir, any time.

0:20:010:20:03

-Oh, I've got a present for you!

-Oh! How exciting.

-Hold out your hands.

0:20:030:20:08

It's sand. Well, there's not much else in the desert.

0:20:100:20:13

Well, that's, er...

0:20:130:20:15

That's very thoughtful of you, sir, yes!

0:20:150:20:19

I might as well be getting off, if that's all right.

0:20:190:20:22

-OK, see you later.

-Love you, Mr Angry Pants!

0:20:220:20:25

Goodbye, Bear. What a lovely bear.

0:20:250:20:28

See ya. And of course I've got my favourite blue bear a present.

0:20:280:20:31

I wouldn't forget you, Nev. I hope you like it, it was the last one.

0:20:310:20:35

I'm pretty sure it's your size.

0:20:350:20:38

There.

0:20:380:20:39

-Groovy!

-Perfect. Go on, talk to me.

0:20:390:20:43

-What you been up to?

-Er...nothing.

0:20:430:20:45

Really? I had a great time.

0:20:450:20:48

I was thinking about you quite a lot.

0:20:480:20:50

-It was almost like you were there with me.

-Er...love you, Barney!

0:20:500:20:54

I love you too.

0:20:540:20:57

Mate, it was amazing. I saw camels, pyramids,

0:20:580:21:01

tombs of the Pharaohs - they were cool.

0:21:010:21:04

-SNORING

-Nev. Nev!

0:21:040:21:07

-Oi!

-Mmm?

0:21:070:21:10

I'm trying to tell you about my trip to Egypt.

0:21:100:21:13

-Sorry, Barney.

-That's OK. Look, I took photos.

0:21:130:21:16

See? That's the airport, there.

0:21:160:21:19

That's me getting a cup of tea at the airport.

0:21:190:21:22

-SNORING

-Nev? Nev!

0:21:220:21:25

Huh? Mmm.

0:21:250:21:27

Sleepy bear.

0:21:270:21:29

Me too. It's all the travelling. Really takes it out of you.

0:21:290:21:33

-You'll realise that when you go travelling.

-Mmm.

0:21:330:21:37

Let's leave the photos for tomorrow. OK, night, mate.

0:21:370:21:41

-Love you, Barney.

-Oh!

0:21:410:21:43

What's that?

0:21:430:21:45

Oh, a mint! Nice one!

0:21:450:21:48

I'll have that tomorrow.

0:21:480:21:49

Miaow!

0:21:560:21:59

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