Operation Nev Bear Behaving Badly


Operation Nev

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Transcript


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Nev? Just nipping out, mate.

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-Here I am.

-Oh, hello, I wondered where you were.

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You have to stay out of Mr Prank's way today.

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Aunt Barbara's got him decorating.

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-Aye-aye, Captain.

-That's cool. I'm gonna fix the trike.

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OK, love you, Barney.

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Love you too. See you later.

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Oh, boring caretaker duties!

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Uh-oh! Mr Angry-Pants. Hide!

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At least that bear isn't around. Mess he made the last time I was painting.

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If I catch him anywhere near here,

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Bandit will have blue-bear chunks for tea!

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Uh-oh! Hmm!

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Oh, stuck! Can't see.

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Oh, Bear, what are you doing under there?

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No... NO!

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Oh-h!

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CRASH!

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Bear! POUNDING ON DOOR

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BEAR WAILS

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Come here, Bear!

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There's nowhere to run, Bear!

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And no-one to hear your scream!

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Aggh!

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CRASH!

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It's no good, Aunt Barbara. His ears are in the way.

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If he was a bit smaller...

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Right, I'll remember that next time I'm down the ear shop(!)

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-Aggh!

-Sorry.

-Stuck!

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Stop making a fuss. Anybody would think

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you'd never had your head stuck forcibly down a toilet before.

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CRUNCH! Aggh! ..Oh! Oh!

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Oh, thank goodness for that. Now I can... Ow!

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-Call the hospital!

-You mean 999?

-No, no, no, my private hospital.

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St Michael's Of The Proper Posh. Number's on the card! Ow!

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Sorry, Mr Angry-Pants.

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Bear... HE GROANS

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-Ha-ha-ha!

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Totally bonzer!

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-Fire!

-Fire!

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THEY LAUGH

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Can't believe you didn't flush the loo on Angry-Pants.

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-Too right, bro!

-Fire!

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Ouch!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Strewth, Nevvy, I think all this laughing

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has put me off me game of boomerang pizza darts.

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Your turn.

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MIAOW!

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THEY GASP

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Run!

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MIAOW! MIAOW!

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CONTINUES TO MIAOW

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Oh, looks like old Angry-Pant's cat

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wants to play a match against you, Nevvy. Oh!

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MIAOW! MIAOW!

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-No, no, no, no! Can't make me!

-Rrr-rr-rr-rrggh!

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MIAOW!

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Rrr-rr-rr-rrggh!

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Ha-ha-ha! Bonzer, eh, Nevvy!

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I learnt my Rottweiler bark when MI5 sent me undercover at Crufts.

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THUD!

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NEV'S TEETH CHATTER Oh, relax, Nevvy.

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It's over. You isn't playing with that loser moggy ever again.

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-Not after last time.

-Too right, bro.

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Hey, Doris, did I tell you how Nev and Bandit first met?

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Ah, didn't think I did. Well, it all began long, long ago.

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Bandit - they called him the keepy-uppy cat -

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undefeated in the entire block.

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No-one could keep a ball in the air like Bandit.

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One day, there came a new bear in town.

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There started a contest us animal folks still talk about till this day.

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Whoever kept his ball going longest would be the winner.

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It began at dawn.

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No-one knows exactly how long it went on.

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Some say till high noon,

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others till just before the Simpsons came on.

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But in the end,

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there would be only one winner.

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And when the keepy-up cat could keepy-up no more,

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now that's when it all turned bad.

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Grrr! Hiss!

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Yowl! Yowl!

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Agghhh!

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Easy, Nevvy! I think we've frightened him, Doris.

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Nev may have most a chunk of ear, but he was the keepy-up winner,

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and Bandit knew it, so, ever since, the moggy has been after revenge.

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-Too right, bro.

-Yeah. Mostly he just torments our Nevvy.

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Now and then, Bandit will challenge Nev to something, anything,

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in the hope of regaining his honour, but Nev will never take it up.

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-N-N-No!

-And Nev's learnt to get by with just the one ear.

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Losing another?!

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That'd make the wearing of comedy glasses extremely impractical.

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MAN GROWLS

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SCREAMING

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Oh, Wackadoo! It's Angry-Pants.

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Hold tight, Doris.

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-Where are you, you horrible, little blue bear?!

-Here I am.

-Ah!

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HE SNEEZES

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-Hello, Mr Angry-Pants.

-"Hello"? I'll give you "hello"!

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Four hours it took that hospital to get this toilet seat off my neck.

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-Ooops!

-"Ooops" doesn't even come into it.

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Do you know why? Afterwards they did some tests on me.

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Look... HIS HAND RATTLES

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And that... BOTH HANDS RATTLE

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And that... HIS LEG RATTLES

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You know what that is, don't you, Bear?

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-Um...hokey-cokey.

-No!

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It's not the hokey-cokey - it's severe nervous disorder.

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My nerves are completely shredded, so much so,

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that I'm going to need a very expensive operation.

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As my nerves wouldn't be in this state

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if it wasn't for the trouble that YOU caused,

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YOU and Mr Barney can pay for it.

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Ten thousand pounds!

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-NEV GASPS

-N-N-N-No!

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Oh, y-y-y-yes!

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I've had enough of you, Bear! It's payback time.

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Time I won one for once.

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Mr Prank is making a stand.

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Oh, I bet that hurt!

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Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!

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Whack me wallaby, Nevvy, ten thousand pounds!

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-How are you and Barney gonna get that kind of moolah?

-Problemo.

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HE GASPS

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Kylie on a moped - the koala's a genius!

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-I've got an idea.

-Jippety-oh!

-Ha-ha!

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-HE SNORES

-Oh, look at him!

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That was some wallop. He isn't gonna wake up for hours yet.

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Once we've fixed his shredded nerves, the hospital won't have to.

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-We just need to do a bit of surgery. Can't be that hard.

-Easy-peasy.

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OK, Dr Neville, let's pop the hood open.

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METAL CREAKS

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Scalpel.

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Forceps.

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-Slightly scary music.

-Oh!

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Now, let's do some doctoring!

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FRANTIC RUMMAGING

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Aha! Ah-ha-ha!

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What's that?

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Ah, well, it's waterworks, for when he needs to go for a...

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Aggh!

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-NEV SPITS

-Yucky!

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RUMMAGES AGAIN

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-TICKING

-Here's his old ticker.

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-Oh!

-NEV HUMS

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Heart. Love you, heart.

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-BUZZ!

-Oh!

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Your turn.

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NEV HUMS

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CLANKING

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Wow! Look at this.

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-Angry-Pants' sense of balance.

-Wobbly-wobbly!

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HE GROANS WITH THE WEIGHT

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-Wow! What do you think this is, Nevvy?

-Hmm? I don't know.

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CREAKING 'I'm gonna get you, Bear!'

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-Aggh! That'll be his voice box, then.

-Frightened!

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-BUZZ!

-Me again!

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Swap over, Nevvy!

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This is gonna be a tricky one. One wrong move and...

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BEEP!

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-Relax!

-BEEPING CONTINUES

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Just the oven timer. Me lunchtime pie's ready. Mmm!

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Now...

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look at this!

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Angry-Pants' marbles. These are what makes his brain work.

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Do not lose the marbles.

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TEARING

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Aha! At last! Here we are - his central nervous system,

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-and there's the shredded nerves.

-Hmm!

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ELECTRICITY BUZZES

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Ouch!

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Sorry, mate, it's these nerve ends, see?

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-BUZZING

-Aggh!

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-KNOCKING ON DOOR

-Nev!

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-Oh, no!

-It's me. Can you let me in, please? Forgotten my keys.

-Aggh!

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NEV WHIMPERS

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Agghh! ..Ow!

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Nev?

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Hello, Barney. Bye, Barney.

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What's going on?

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Keith?

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Nev?

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Everything OK?

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Tip-top-a-roo!

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What's all this then?

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Just some decorating stuff.

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Oh... What about that?

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J-J-J-Just some rubbish I'm throwing out.

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-Argh!

-What?!

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Nothing!

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OK.

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Argh!

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-What?!

-I don't know!

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OK.

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Phew! I think we got away with it. Crisis over.

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If everything's OK, I'll throw this down the rubbish chute.

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See you later, guys.

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Thanks, Barney. You're a buddy. What would we do without ya?

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BOTH: Argh!

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CRASHING

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Dear, oh dear!

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-Hey, Beatrice.

-Hi.

-Where are you off to?

-Shops.

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-Ingredients for a new ice-cream recipe.

-Cool.

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If you want anyone to taste test...

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-You go first!

-Hm, OK.

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Can I borrow those scales?

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-Sure.

-Ow!

-I'm sorry.

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-Here you go.

-Ow! Don't worry.

-I'm so sorry.

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They go on there like that.

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I'll put these inside, thank you.

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Whoa!

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Oh, digeree-doo-dah! I think my bum's on fire!

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Shush! Problemo.

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Calm down, calm down!

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Look, Angry-Pants body parts are all here.

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Let's put them in the sack and get outta here.

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OK, Crazy Keith.

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We'll be fine as long as we're quiet.

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I'M GONNA GET YOU, BEAR!

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-Shush!

-NEV SCREAMS

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The marbles, Nevvy. Quick. Over there.

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MEOW!

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Leave the marbles. We'll come back for them later.

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Come on!

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There you go. Shredded nerves, sorted.

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It's amazing what you can do with sticky tape

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and lack of medical knowledge.

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Strewth! He's coming round.

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I'd better get all his body bits back in fast.

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-Marbles.

-No time!

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He'll have to do without his marbles.

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It's never stopped Barney's Aunt Barbara.

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She lost her marbles years ago!

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First things first.

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Nurse!

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Whisporks.

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Water doo-dah.

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And the old ticker.

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Right, I'm outta here.

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Gordon Granny's Hootenanny! Elvis has married me bagpipes!

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-Confused.

-Flightable haddock.

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Talking of which, I've got to decorate the upstairs hallway.

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Ooh, very wobbly.

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The scales, Nevvy. We forgot his sense of balance.

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Beep, beep.

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Beep, beep!

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Argh!

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Good gravy, Plank. What the blazes are you doing?!

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Just decorating, Your Holiness.

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That's ice-cream!

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Exactly. A couple of coats of milk choc chip

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ought to freshen this place right up.

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Ooh! Look at those cracks. You could do with a couple of coats yourself.

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There we are.

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That's better!

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Have you taken leave of your senses?

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Time to get on with the ceiling. Bye-bye!

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Argh!

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Right, Plank. It's back to hospital for you.

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Barney!

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Barney!

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Nevvy, he's out cold. We can operate again.

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We haven't got much time.

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We need to put those marbles in double quick.

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Barney?! Are you there?

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Plank's gone mad and knocked himself out.

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I think we ought to call that hospital.

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Wallop me wombat! If the hospital finds out Angry-Pants

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has lost his marbles as well,

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-that £10,000 bill's gonna become a £20,000 bill.

-No!

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Barney! Didn't Plank give you the hospital's number?

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Here's the plan...

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Barney, are you there?

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Ba-ba!

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-Oh, Nevvy-wevvy! What a lovely outfit.

-Woof-woof!

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Ooh, yes. That's the number.

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What a clever little Nevvy doggy.

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Hello! Is that Sir Michael of the proper posh?

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-Yes, m'lady.

-Could you despatch an ambulance straightaway?

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-Of course. Totally fair dinkum, mate.

-Pardon?

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I mean right away, m'lady. Wackadoo! Phew!

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Nevvy? Nevvy?

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-I'm here!

-Whack-a-doo!

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I'll sort out the ambulance, you get the marbles.

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No, no. Frightened.

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It's the only way.

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We've got to operate while Angry-Pants is still out of it.

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Can't scare me.

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Argh!

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Phew-wee. No bandit.

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MEOW!

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MEOW!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Funny looking ambulance!

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Meow!

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My turn?

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OK. Hm...

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I win! I win!

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I win! Ha-ha-ha!

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Mine.

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Nicely done, m'lady.

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Crazy Keith, quick!

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Bonzer, Nevvy. You got the marbles. Jump in!

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Right, m'lady. Thank you for you help.

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We'll be off now.

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Soon as Aunt Barbara goes inside,

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we drag Angry-Pants back in the flat and put his marbles in.

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Yes, off we shall be. Shortly.

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Is there a problem?

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Well, the thing is m'lady the driver had to get a knighthood.

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He'll be back in...

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Oh, good gravy! I'll drive.

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In the back, Nevvy. Now!

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Dingos doo-doo! We've gotta fix Angry-Pants.

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Quick, before Aunt Barbara realises something's up.

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Don't worry. Just a road sign. Don't know why they make them so small!

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-You'll have to shout the directions.

-OK, OK.

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Look for an empty road with no road signs.

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Or trucks carrying chickens! CLUCK CLUCK!

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Good job Dr Keith came prepared for keyhole surgery.

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SCREECH!

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Apparently the surgeons had fixed you up before you got to hospital.

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Aunt Barbara bought you back home.

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That's weird. I don't remember anything.

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That posh and private hospital didn't even charge for treatment.

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It was on the house.

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-That's amazing. And they cured my shredded nerves. Look.

-Wow!

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I feel great. I think I'll go and...

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Ooh! CLUNK!

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Hi, guys.

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Hey, Beatrice.

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I thought I'd better bring these scales back.

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Uh-oh.

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CRASH! Oh!

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Is that Mr Prank?

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It's weird. Did he seem more clumsy to you tonight?

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Um, no-no-no.

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Nev, we've got to give Angry-Pants his sense of balance back.

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Noisy.

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He's trying to put his old TV in the attic.

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We can't operate on him until he's unconscious again.

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Argh!

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I reckon he's unconscious now!

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Let's go, Dr Neville.

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