Nev in the Hood Bear Behaving Badly


Nev in the Hood

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HE MOANS

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Come on, Nev. Let's check your temperature.

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There you go.

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Oh, no.

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Feel icky.

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-Yeah, having a bad case of the bearsles is no fun, is it, mate?

-No.

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-Of course, bearsle spots are highly infectious.

-Sorry, Barney.

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It's all right, mate.

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The doctor said you'd be right as rain in a day or so.

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NEV GASPS

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Ah...a...a...a-a-a-a-a...

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TCHOO!

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THUD

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You all right, Nev?

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No problemo.

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Aw, mate. Exploding sneezes are the worst part of the bearsles.

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-Lucky you're wearing a crash helmet.

-Right.

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Come on, then.

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Come on, then, Nev.

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What can I do to cheer you up?

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You name it.

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Story.

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Oh. I can't read you story books, mate.

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Even they've got the bearsles.

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THE BOOK SNEEZES

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Erm, anything else?

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Hmm, friends?

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-Friends? Well, I'm your friend and I'm here.

-Hmm.

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And Keith. That's a good point. Where is Keith?

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"The end!"

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Finished!

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Oh, this is the most bonzer story ever, Doris!

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Nev is going to love it. It's got everything. Action...

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adventure, romance...

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Oh, he'll forget he's even got the bearsles.

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Right, time to get this upstairs to Nevvy.

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Wish me luck, Doris.

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HE PANTS

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Nevvy! Oh, Nevvy.

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Doctor Crazy Keith here with the best medicine ever!

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Wackadoo.

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Hey! Nevvy!

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A...a...a...A-TCHOO!

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THUD

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Nevvy?

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-Here I am.

-Keith, I told you,

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you're not supposed to be in here without your protective suit on.

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Come on, Nevvy. Arms. Good boy.

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I told you, bearsles are highly infectious.

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Ah, I'm all right, Barnster. I'm immune.

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No, you're not.

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Yes, I am. I think I know what I'm talking about.

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You forget I am a fully qualified doctor.

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For the last time, you crazy koala,

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finding a certificate in the bin does not make you a doctor.

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That's Doctor Crazy Koala to you, thank you very much.

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Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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Where've you been? Nev's missed you.

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Feeling lonely.

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Sorry, Nevvy, buddy.

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I thought a good story would cheer you up, so I've written you one.

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Groovy! Love you, Crazy Keith.

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-Um, hang on. You've written a story?

-Yeah!

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There's no end to my talents, Barnster.

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-I'm not just a dashingly handsome medical genius.

-No argument there.

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Story, story, story!

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-OK, OK, come on. Give it here, I'll read it.

-OK.

-Hold still, Keith.

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-Easy!

-Ta, thank you.

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Oh, wow. Well, I like that.

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Robin Of Blue Bearwood Forest.

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Good title.

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Too right, bro.

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"Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far aw..." Hang on!

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-That's not right for starters.

-Barney!

-OK, OK.

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-"Once upon a time..."

-Yeah.

-"..in a galaxy far, far away...

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"there was a place called Blue Bearwood Forest.

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"The people were happy and contented..."

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-And very cute.

-Keith!

-Sorry.

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"Until, one day, the evil Sheriff of Nottingbarb took over."

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LAUGHTER

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I am the Sheriff of Nottingbarb.

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Nobody'd better mess with me.

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THUNDERCLAP

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"She was pretty mean, so nobody did.

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"She went around with her henchman, Sir Guy of Gisprank..."

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A-hem!

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"..who was very ugly and had smelly breath."

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OI!

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Ohh..

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-Gisprank!

-Yes, Sheriff Barbara, sir!

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I mean, ma'am.

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Stop dilly-dallying! Go and collect my tax!

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Yes, ma'am.

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" 'Oh, no! Don't take the whole bag, it's all I have!'

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-"said the very attractive peasant."

-It's tax! That's how it works!

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Also, you owe us from last year and there's a fine.

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EVIL LAUGH

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"Who will save Blue Bearwood Forest

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"from these evil people and their unreasonably high taxes?"

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Oh, here comes the best bit! I will save you, Bear Maiden!

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For I am Robin Hood!

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-Whoa, whoa. Hang on a second.

-What?

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How come you get to be the hero?

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I thought this story was for Nev!

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He gets an important role.

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He's Will, my loyal - but simple - manservant.

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Here I am.

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Oh, no, you don't, Keith.

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-What?

-Nev's the one who's sick, he gets to be the hero.

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Oh, wackadoo!

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I'm making a few changes.

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Not fair!

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Right.

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Let's go back a bit.

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HE GARGLES

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Right, back to the story.

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Let's see, where were we? Yadda, yadda taxes...ah, here we go.

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"Who will save Blue Bearwood Forest

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"from these evil people and their unreasonably high taxes?"

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Dum-dum-dum-dum-DUM!

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Why, it's none other than Robin Hood!

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Too right, bro!

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Oh, and look who's with him.

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His loyal - but simple - manservant, Will.

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Um, I said...

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All right, all right.

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I feel a right dingo in this.

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Who dares defy the sheriff?

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Oh, what a cute little doggie he is!

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He's a bear!

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Shut up, Gisprank!

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Every time! I don't know why I bother.

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-Woof, woof!

-Nev, are what you like?

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Who's a cute little doggie, then?

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NEV WHIMPERS

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Does the doggie want a treat?

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Wait for it... wait for it...and...go!

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Good doggie!

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Yum-yum!

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Right...anyway...

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Robin Hood wasn't going to let the sheriff take the peasants' gold!

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No way, Jose!

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Nobody can stop me, not even a cute little doggie!

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Gisprank, I want you and the army to capture the blue dog this instant!

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Right you are, ma'am!

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Attention!

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Everybody...follow...

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What army are we talking about?

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He's got a point. What army? We haven't got that kind of budget.

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No worries, Barnster, got it all in hand!

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In hand! Get it? Ha-ha-ha!

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"Awaiting orders, sir!" "At your command, sir!"

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Right! Get the bear!

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RUN!

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No, not that way!

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Can't catch me!

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We've got him cornered, boys! You go that way, and you go that way!

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Gisprank! You are useless!

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Can't catch me!

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"He is a bit rubbish, isn't he?" I heard that!

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You've won this one, Robin Hood!

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But I'll be back!

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Robin had defeated the sheriff and her henchman,

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at least for now...

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Robin and Will headed off back to their secret hideout,

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deep in Blue Bearwood Forest.

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There, they met the rest of the Merry...Men.

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First, the merriest of all the men, Friar Postie.

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Postie!

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Brave Sir Robin!

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You must be his loyal - but simple - manservant, Will!

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G'day, Postie!

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News of your heroic defeat has reached us. Well done, Sir Robin.

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Easy-peasy!

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Friar Postie was always jolly.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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-And bald.

-What?

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Bald? I don't want to be bald! Oh, I want to be someone else!

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Also at the hideout was the biggest and strongest of all the Merry Men,

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Little John.

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Love you, Beetroot.

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I'm not happy about this, at all.

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On second thoughts, I'd rather be bald!

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This beard is really itchy. Who wrote this story?

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Anyway! While the less than merry men had a chat about casting issues,

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over at Blue Bearwood Castle, things were not going well.

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Gisprank! Robin Hood has stolen all our tax money!

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We need that money to spend on shoes and treats for Little Lord Chops!

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BARKING

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I'm sorry, your highness. It wasn't my fault.

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"It was his fault!" "It was totally his fault!"

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Will you two shut up?

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You are doing a terrible job, Gisprank.

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Well, I can't get the staff! "Oi!" Shut up!

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Don't worry, your divineness, we will get all the gold back,

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and get rid of Robin Hood once and for all!

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You had better! Or I'll get rid of you!

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The Sheriff of Nottingbarb is off for her royal nap.

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Come, Sir Chops.

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BARKING

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Oh, ho, ho! Oh, yes!

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I'd better come up with a brilliant plan, or else I'm for the high jump.

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This is going to take all my brain power.

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"That shouldn't take too long!"

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SNORING

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-Look at him, fast asleep.

-Pathetic!

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-And his breath really does stink.

-I know!

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How did we end up getting ordered around by him?

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We should have paid more attention at school!

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I've got it! The most brilliantly evil plan ever!

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-I doubt that.

-What was that?

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Nothing.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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SNORING

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Back at Robin Hood's secret hideout,

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Sir Robin was enjoying a bowl of ice-cream,

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brought to him by the grateful people of Blue Bearwood...

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Love you, Doris.

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..while the Merry Men chatted happily.

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Why do I always have to wear the beard?

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Just then, a message arrived.

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AAARGGH!

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It's from the sheriff!

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Can't scare me!

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What does it say?

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"The Sheriff of Nottingbarb

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"challenges Sir Robin Hood to an archery contest tomorrow,

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"with her handsome and dashing henchman, Sir Gisprank!"

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I think we know who wrote that!

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"The winner gets to rule Blue Bearwood Forest once and for all."

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Jibbidy-ya!

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Wait a minute, Sir Robin. This must be a trap.

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Confused.

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"Yours sincerely, the sheriff.

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-"PS, all right, this is a trap."

-Ha! told you!

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"And if Robin Hood doesn't show up,

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"he will never get to see the love of his life,

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"the fairest maiden of them all, Maid Marian, ever again."

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No way, Jose!

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Oh, no! They've captured Maid Marian!

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That's awful!

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Feel icky.

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Wait a sec...who is Maid Marian?

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ALL: Hmm...

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That's a good point. If Postie's the friar and Beatrice is Little John...

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Oh, no, I'm not doing this.

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-You've got to!

-You're a rubbish author, Keith.

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Don't get your pigtails in a knot! On with the story.

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Ha-ha! We've captured Maid Marian, the fairest maid in all the land.

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"I wouldn't say she was the fairest." "The hairiest!"

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Yeah, all right, thanks.

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With Maid Marian as our prisoner, we cannot fail!

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Oh, Sir Gis...

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No, no, do the voice, do the voice.

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-HIGH VOICE:

-Oh, Sir Gisprank!

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-You are a horrible, horrible man!

-You're no oil painting, love!

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GISPRANK LAUGHS

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Right, I'm off to practise for the archery contest.

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You two, guard the prisoner.

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This is a good plan, you know. This is definitely going to work.

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Yeah, right! The baddies beating the goodies?

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You've not read many stories, have you?

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Meanwhile, back at the not-so-secret hideout,

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-Sir Robin was practising for the archery tournament...

-No problemo!

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-..while the Merry Men sang a song to help him.

-Eh?! I didn't write that!

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You did now!

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BOOF!

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KEITH GASPS

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# The brave Sir Robin very hard For the tournament did train

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# His heart was strong and true

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# But not his awful aim... #

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Aargh!

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BOING!

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# The more and more he did try

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# The worse and worse it got

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# He was the greatest of all bears But a truly dreadful shot!

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Aargh!

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-Ooh!

-WHEE!

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And so came the day of the big tournament,

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and Robin and his Merry Men arrived at the castle.

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# The day of the tournament It did arrive... #

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-At which point, they stopped singing.

-Oh, that is a relief!

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Welcome to my humble abode.

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The rules of the tournament are simple. Each side has one shot,

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and the best shot will rule Blue Bearwood Forest for ever...

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Dum-di-dum-dum-DUM!

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..and win the hand of the fair Maid Marian in marriage.

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-HIGH VOICE:

-Oh, what is to become of me? Save me, brave Sir Robin!

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-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, Nev.

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Up first, shooting for me, the Sheriff of Nottingbarb,

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SIR GUY OF GISPRANK!

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CLUNK!

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Whoo-hoo! Hey! Oh! Sorry, sorry. Boo!

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You've got to admit, though,

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he is a bit of a hunk!

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- You're going down, bear! - Can't scare me!

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Bother you, bear!

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I'm not going to let my allergies put me off my shot.

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HE SNEEZES...

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..REPEATEDLY

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Wait a sec.

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How come you two are over here, when he's over there?

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I-I don't know what you mean!

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-Well, because you're...

-Put a sock in it, hairy!

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Yes!

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Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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-Don't worry, Nev.

-You can beat that!

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Yeah! I could always sing again! ALL: NO!

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Just trying to help.

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DRUM ROLL

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CLUNK!

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BOING!

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-GISPRANK:

-Oh, no! My arrow!

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Yippee!

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-Oh, well done, Sir Robin!

-We never doubted you.

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You the man, buddy! You the man!

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No problemo.

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Yes, well done, Sir Robin. You won fair and square.

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-Knocked my arrow out!

-Fair and square.

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Before we leave Blue Bearwood, could I get a picture?

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Smile, please!

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Cheese!

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ALL SCREAM

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Hey! It's not fair!

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You cheater!

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Yes - well, I AM the baddie! It's what I do!

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-Get them, Gisprank!

-Ha-ha!

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I told you I'd get you, bear!

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Love you, Mr Angry Pants!

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A...a...a-tchoo!

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Sir Robin! Save the forest!

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Run, buddy, run!

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Ah!

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Get him!

0:19:310:19:33

Wackadoo!

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Oh, thank you, brave Sir Robin.

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No problemo.

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Bear? Bear!

0:19:400:19:42

Bear!

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Let's get out of here!

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-Oh, no, you don't.

-No, no, this is all a big mistake.

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Yeah, we were on your side all along.

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A likely story!

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-This is all your fault.

-MY fault?!

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YOU kept calling her hairy. Girls hate that.

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-Get him, Gisprank!

-I'm trying.

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Aha! Got you now, bear!

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NEV'S TEETH CHATTER

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-One...

-Oh!

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..two...

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..three!

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Aargh! Ow!

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-Oh-h! Agh!

-Ooh!

0:20:310:20:35

Jibbidy-ya!

0:20:500:20:53

The evil sheriff and smelly-breathed Sir Gisprank are defeated!

0:20:540:20:58

-Three cheers for Robin, king of Blue Bearwood! Hip hip...

-Hooray!

0:20:580:21:03

-Hip, hip...

-Hooray!

0:21:030:21:04

-Hip, hip...

-Hooray!

0:21:040:21:06

They do have a point, you know.

0:21:060:21:09

Your breath is pretty stinky.

0:21:090:21:12

Oh, shut up...

0:21:120:21:14

er, your wonderful highness-y-ness.

0:21:140:21:18

"..And they all lived happily ever after. The end."

0:21:190:21:23

-Tip-top-a-roo.

-Did you like the story, Nev?

-Yeah-yeah.

0:21:230:21:27

I think you're looking better.

0:21:270:21:29

You must nearly be over the bearsles.

0:21:290:21:32

Hey, well done, Keith. Your story worked a treat. Keith?

0:21:320:21:37

Oh!

0:21:390:21:41

Bit of a problem there, Barnster.

0:21:410:21:43

A...a...atchoo! CRASH!

0:21:450:21:48

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

0:21:480:21:51

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