Nev in the Hood Bear Behaving Badly


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Nev in the Hood

Comedy series. When Nev falls sick, Keith writes a story to cheer him up, in which Nev becomes Robin of Bearwood Forest and Keith becomes his manservant.


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HE MOANS

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Come on, Nev. Let's check your temperature.

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There you go.

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Oh, no.

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Feel icky.

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-Yeah, having a bad case of the bearsles is no fun, is it, mate?

-No.

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-Of course, bearsle spots are highly infectious.

-Sorry, Barney.

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It's all right, mate.

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The doctor said you'd be right as rain in a day or so.

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NEV GASPS

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Ah...a...a...a-a-a-a-a...

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TCHOO!

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THUD

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You all right, Nev?

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No problemo.

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Aw, mate. Exploding sneezes are the worst part of the bearsles.

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-Lucky you're wearing a crash helmet.

-Right.

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Come on, then.

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Come on, then, Nev.

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What can I do to cheer you up?

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You name it.

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Story.

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Oh. I can't read you story books, mate.

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Even they've got the bearsles.

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THE BOOK SNEEZES

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Erm, anything else?

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Hmm, friends?

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-Friends? Well, I'm your friend and I'm here.

-Hmm.

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And Keith. That's a good point. Where is Keith?

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"The end!"

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Finished!

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Oh, this is the most bonzer story ever, Doris!

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Nev is going to love it. It's got everything. Action...

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adventure, romance...

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Oh, he'll forget he's even got the bearsles.

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Right, time to get this upstairs to Nevvy.

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Wish me luck, Doris.

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HE PANTS

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Nevvy! Oh, Nevvy.

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Doctor Crazy Keith here with the best medicine ever!

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Wackadoo.

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Hey! Nevvy!

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A...a...a...A-TCHOO!

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THUD

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Nevvy?

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-Here I am.

-Keith, I told you,

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you're not supposed to be in here without your protective suit on.

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Come on, Nevvy. Arms. Good boy.

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I told you, bearsles are highly infectious.

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Ah, I'm all right, Barnster. I'm immune.

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No, you're not.

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Yes, I am. I think I know what I'm talking about.

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You forget I am a fully qualified doctor.

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For the last time, you crazy koala,

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finding a certificate in the bin does not make you a doctor.

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That's Doctor Crazy Koala to you, thank you very much.

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Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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Where've you been? Nev's missed you.

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Feeling lonely.

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Sorry, Nevvy, buddy.

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I thought a good story would cheer you up, so I've written you one.

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Groovy! Love you, Crazy Keith.

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-Um, hang on. You've written a story?

-Yeah!

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There's no end to my talents, Barnster.

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-I'm not just a dashingly handsome medical genius.

-No argument there.

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Story, story, story!

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-OK, OK, come on. Give it here, I'll read it.

-OK.

-Hold still, Keith.

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-Easy!

-Ta, thank you.

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Oh, wow. Well, I like that.

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Robin Of Blue Bearwood Forest.

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Good title.

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Too right, bro.

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"Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far aw..." Hang on!

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-That's not right for starters.

-Barney!

-OK, OK.

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-"Once upon a time..."

-Yeah.

-"..in a galaxy far, far away...

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"there was a place called Blue Bearwood Forest.

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"The people were happy and contented..."

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-And very cute.

-Keith!

-Sorry.

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"Until, one day, the evil Sheriff of Nottingbarb took over."

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LAUGHTER

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I am the Sheriff of Nottingbarb.

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Nobody'd better mess with me.

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THUNDERCLAP

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"She was pretty mean, so nobody did.

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"She went around with her henchman, Sir Guy of Gisprank..."

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A-hem!

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"..who was very ugly and had smelly breath."

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OI!

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Ohh..

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-Gisprank!

-Yes, Sheriff Barbara, sir!

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I mean, ma'am.

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Stop dilly-dallying! Go and collect my tax!

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Yes, ma'am.

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" 'Oh, no! Don't take the whole bag, it's all I have!'

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-"said the very attractive peasant."

-It's tax! That's how it works!

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Also, you owe us from last year and there's a fine.

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EVIL LAUGH

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"Who will save Blue Bearwood Forest

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"from these evil people and their unreasonably high taxes?"

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Oh, here comes the best bit! I will save you, Bear Maiden!

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For I am Robin Hood!

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-Whoa, whoa. Hang on a second.

-What?

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How come you get to be the hero?

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I thought this story was for Nev!

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He gets an important role.

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He's Will, my loyal - but simple - manservant.

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Here I am.

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Oh, no, you don't, Keith.

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-What?

-Nev's the one who's sick, he gets to be the hero.

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Oh, wackadoo!

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I'm making a few changes.

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Not fair!

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Right.

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Let's go back a bit.

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HE GARGLES

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Right, back to the story.

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Let's see, where were we? Yadda, yadda taxes...ah, here we go.

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"Who will save Blue Bearwood Forest

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"from these evil people and their unreasonably high taxes?"

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Dum-dum-dum-dum-DUM!

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Why, it's none other than Robin Hood!

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Too right, bro!

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Oh, and look who's with him.

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His loyal - but simple - manservant, Will.

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Um, I said...

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All right, all right.

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I feel a right dingo in this.

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Who dares defy the sheriff?

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Oh, what a cute little doggie he is!

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He's a bear!

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Shut up, Gisprank!

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Every time! I don't know why I bother.

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-Woof, woof!

-Nev, are what you like?

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Who's a cute little doggie, then?

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NEV WHIMPERS

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Does the doggie want a treat?

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Wait for it... wait for it...and...go!

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Good doggie!

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Yum-yum!

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Right...anyway...

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Robin Hood wasn't going to let the sheriff take the peasants' gold!

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No way, Jose!

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Nobody can stop me, not even a cute little doggie!

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Gisprank, I want you and the army to capture the blue dog this instant!

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Right you are, ma'am!

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Attention!

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Everybody...follow...

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What army are we talking about?

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He's got a point. What army? We haven't got that kind of budget.

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No worries, Barnster, got it all in hand!

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In hand! Get it? Ha-ha-ha!

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"Awaiting orders, sir!" "At your command, sir!"

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Right! Get the bear!

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RUN!

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No, not that way!

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Can't catch me!

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We've got him cornered, boys! You go that way, and you go that way!

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Gisprank! You are useless!

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Can't catch me!

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"He is a bit rubbish, isn't he?" I heard that!

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You've won this one, Robin Hood!

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But I'll be back!

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Robin had defeated the sheriff and her henchman,

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at least for now...

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Robin and Will headed off back to their secret hideout,

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deep in Blue Bearwood Forest.

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There, they met the rest of the Merry...Men.

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First, the merriest of all the men, Friar Postie.

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Postie!

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Brave Sir Robin!

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You must be his loyal - but simple - manservant, Will!

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G'day, Postie!

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News of your heroic defeat has reached us. Well done, Sir Robin.

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Easy-peasy!

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Friar Postie was always jolly.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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-And bald.

-What?

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Bald? I don't want to be bald! Oh, I want to be someone else!

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Also at the hideout was the biggest and strongest of all the Merry Men,

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Little John.

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Love you, Beetroot.

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I'm not happy about this, at all.

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On second thoughts, I'd rather be bald!

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This beard is really itchy. Who wrote this story?

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Anyway! While the less than merry men had a chat about casting issues,

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over at Blue Bearwood Castle, things were not going well.

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Gisprank! Robin Hood has stolen all our tax money!

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We need that money to spend on shoes and treats for Little Lord Chops!

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BARKING

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I'm sorry, your highness. It wasn't my fault.

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"It was his fault!" "It was totally his fault!"

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Will you two shut up?

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You are doing a terrible job, Gisprank.

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Well, I can't get the staff! "Oi!" Shut up!

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Don't worry, your divineness, we will get all the gold back,

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and get rid of Robin Hood once and for all!

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You had better! Or I'll get rid of you!

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The Sheriff of Nottingbarb is off for her royal nap.

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Come, Sir Chops.

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BARKING

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Oh, ho, ho! Oh, yes!

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I'd better come up with a brilliant plan, or else I'm for the high jump.

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This is going to take all my brain power.

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"That shouldn't take too long!"

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SNORING

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-Look at him, fast asleep.

-Pathetic!

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-And his breath really does stink.

-I know!

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How did we end up getting ordered around by him?

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We should have paid more attention at school!

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I've got it! The most brilliantly evil plan ever!

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-I doubt that.

-What was that?

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Nothing.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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SNORING

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Back at Robin Hood's secret hideout,

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Sir Robin was enjoying a bowl of ice-cream,

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brought to him by the grateful people of Blue Bearwood...

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Love you, Doris.

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..while the Merry Men chatted happily.

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Why do I always have to wear the beard?

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Just then, a message arrived.

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AAARGGH!

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It's from the sheriff!

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Can't scare me!

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What does it say?

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"The Sheriff of Nottingbarb

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"challenges Sir Robin Hood to an archery contest tomorrow,

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"with her handsome and dashing henchman, Sir Gisprank!"

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I think we know who wrote that!

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"The winner gets to rule Blue Bearwood Forest once and for all."

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Jibbidy-ya!

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Wait a minute, Sir Robin. This must be a trap.

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Confused.

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"Yours sincerely, the sheriff.

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-"PS, all right, this is a trap."

-Ha! told you!

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"And if Robin Hood doesn't show up,

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"he will never get to see the love of his life,

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"the fairest maiden of them all, Maid Marian, ever again."

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No way, Jose!

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Oh, no! They've captured Maid Marian!

0:13:380:13:41

That's awful!

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Feel icky.

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Wait a sec...who is Maid Marian?

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ALL: Hmm...

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That's a good point. If Postie's the friar and Beatrice is Little John...

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Oh, no, I'm not doing this.

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-You've got to!

-You're a rubbish author, Keith.

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Don't get your pigtails in a knot! On with the story.

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Ha-ha! We've captured Maid Marian, the fairest maid in all the land.

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"I wouldn't say she was the fairest." "The hairiest!"

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Yeah, all right, thanks.

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With Maid Marian as our prisoner, we cannot fail!

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Oh, Sir Gis...

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No, no, do the voice, do the voice.

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-HIGH VOICE:

-Oh, Sir Gisprank!

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-You are a horrible, horrible man!

-You're no oil painting, love!

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GISPRANK LAUGHS

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Right, I'm off to practise for the archery contest.

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You two, guard the prisoner.

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This is a good plan, you know. This is definitely going to work.

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Yeah, right! The baddies beating the goodies?

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You've not read many stories, have you?

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Meanwhile, back at the not-so-secret hideout,

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-Sir Robin was practising for the archery tournament...

-No problemo!

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-..while the Merry Men sang a song to help him.

-Eh?! I didn't write that!

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You did now!

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BOOF!

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KEITH GASPS

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# The brave Sir Robin very hard For the tournament did train

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# His heart was strong and true

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# But not his awful aim... #

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Aargh!

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BOING!

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# The more and more he did try

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# The worse and worse it got

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# He was the greatest of all bears But a truly dreadful shot!

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Aargh!

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-Ooh!

-WHEE!

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And so came the day of the big tournament,

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and Robin and his Merry Men arrived at the castle.

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# The day of the tournament It did arrive... #

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-At which point, they stopped singing.

-Oh, that is a relief!

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Welcome to my humble abode.

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The rules of the tournament are simple. Each side has one shot,

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and the best shot will rule Blue Bearwood Forest for ever...

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Dum-di-dum-dum-DUM!

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..and win the hand of the fair Maid Marian in marriage.

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-HIGH VOICE:

-Oh, what is to become of me? Save me, brave Sir Robin!

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-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, Nev.

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Up first, shooting for me, the Sheriff of Nottingbarb,

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SIR GUY OF GISPRANK!

0:16:460:16:50

CLUNK!

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Whoo-hoo! Hey! Oh! Sorry, sorry. Boo!

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You've got to admit, though,

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he is a bit of a hunk!

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- You're going down, bear! - Can't scare me!

0:17:010:17:05

Bother you, bear!

0:17:060:17:09

I'm not going to let my allergies put me off my shot.

0:17:090:17:13

HE SNEEZES...

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..REPEATEDLY

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Wait a sec.

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How come you two are over here, when he's over there?

0:17:190:17:23

I-I don't know what you mean!

0:17:230:17:26

-Well, because you're...

-Put a sock in it, hairy!

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Yes!

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Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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-Don't worry, Nev.

-You can beat that!

0:17:540:17:57

Yeah! I could always sing again! ALL: NO!

0:17:570:18:00

Just trying to help.

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DRUM ROLL

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CLUNK!

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BOING!

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-GISPRANK:

-Oh, no! My arrow!

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Yippee!

0:18:270:18:29

-Oh, well done, Sir Robin!

-We never doubted you.

0:18:330:18:37

You the man, buddy! You the man!

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No problemo.

0:18:400:18:41

Yes, well done, Sir Robin. You won fair and square.

0:18:410:18:47

-Knocked my arrow out!

-Fair and square.

0:18:470:18:50

Before we leave Blue Bearwood, could I get a picture?

0:18:500:18:56

Smile, please!

0:18:560:18:57

Cheese!

0:18:590:19:00

ALL SCREAM

0:19:000:19:02

Hey! It's not fair!

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You cheater!

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Yes - well, I AM the baddie! It's what I do!

0:19:050:19:09

-Get them, Gisprank!

-Ha-ha!

0:19:110:19:13

I told you I'd get you, bear!

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Love you, Mr Angry Pants!

0:19:190:19:21

A...a...a-tchoo!

0:19:230:19:25

Sir Robin! Save the forest!

0:19:250:19:28

Run, buddy, run!

0:19:280:19:29

Ah!

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Get him!

0:19:310:19:33

Wackadoo!

0:19:330:19:35

Oh, thank you, brave Sir Robin.

0:19:350:19:38

No problemo.

0:19:380:19:40

Bear? Bear!

0:19:400:19:42

Bear!

0:19:450:19:47

Let's get out of here!

0:19:470:19:49

-Oh, no, you don't.

-No, no, this is all a big mistake.

0:19:490:19:52

Yeah, we were on your side all along.

0:19:520:19:55

A likely story!

0:19:550:19:57

-This is all your fault.

-MY fault?!

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YOU kept calling her hairy. Girls hate that.

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-Get him, Gisprank!

-I'm trying.

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Aha! Got you now, bear!

0:20:150:20:17

NEV'S TEETH CHATTER

0:20:170:20:20

-One...

-Oh!

0:20:200:20:23

..two...

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..three!

0:20:240:20:26

Aargh! Ow!

0:20:280:20:31

-Oh-h! Agh!

-Ooh!

0:20:310:20:35

Jibbidy-ya!

0:20:500:20:53

The evil sheriff and smelly-breathed Sir Gisprank are defeated!

0:20:540:20:58

-Three cheers for Robin, king of Blue Bearwood! Hip hip...

-Hooray!

0:20:580:21:03

-Hip, hip...

-Hooray!

0:21:030:21:04

-Hip, hip...

-Hooray!

0:21:040:21:06

They do have a point, you know.

0:21:060:21:09

Your breath is pretty stinky.

0:21:090:21:12

Oh, shut up...

0:21:120:21:14

er, your wonderful highness-y-ness.

0:21:140:21:18

"..And they all lived happily ever after. The end."

0:21:190:21:23

-Tip-top-a-roo.

-Did you like the story, Nev?

-Yeah-yeah.

0:21:230:21:27

I think you're looking better.

0:21:270:21:29

You must nearly be over the bearsles.

0:21:290:21:32

Hey, well done, Keith. Your story worked a treat. Keith?

0:21:320:21:37

Oh!

0:21:390:21:41

Bit of a problem there, Barnster.

0:21:410:21:43

A...a...atchoo! CRASH!

0:21:450:21:48

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

0:21:480:21:51

Comedy series. When Nev falls sick with a nasty bout of the bearsels, Keith writes a story to cheer him up. In a tale where Nev becomes Robin of Bearwood Forest and Keith becomes his simple manservant called Will, the pair embark on an adventure to defeat the evil sheriff of Nottingbarb (Aunt Barbara) and her henchman Sir Guy of Gisplank (Angry Pants).