Crazy Keith - Extreme Koala Bear Behaving Badly


Crazy Keith - Extreme Koala

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I've overslept. I'm going to be so late, I've got to run.

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Morning, Nev, Keith.

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Barney!

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I'm fine, Nev. Keith, be careful where you park your Jeep.

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Oh, sorry, Barnster.

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What've you done to your face?

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-This is me patented pampering and personal grooming regime.

-Groovy.

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It takes a lot for a koala

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-to look this naturally gorgeous and irresistible.

-Oh, yeah?

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-HE SNIFFS

-Oh, I'm getting a hint of honey...

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some ketchup in there, barbecue relish. Nice.

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Oh, a hint of avocado too. And...mayonnaise?

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Oh, yeah. This koala doesn't just like to moisturise,

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he likes to mayonnaise! Ha-ha!

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I got to stay looking good for a foxy-looking sheila like Doris.

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-Confidentially, Barnster, I'm getting a bit worried.

-About what?

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It's Doris. I think she's going off me. We don't talk the way we used to.

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So, I'm pulling out all the stops to remind her what a catch I am!

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Sorry to hear that. I'm sure it'll be fine.

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Clear this mess before Mr Prank pops round.

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Angry Pants? No way, Jose.

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He's using our washing machine, his is broken.

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He's a caretaker but can't fix a washing machine.

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-I'm going to be late for work, see you later.

-Love you.

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Keith, please be careful with the Jeep.

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-I'm hearing you, Barnster!

-See you.

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-Hi, Barney.

-Hey, Melanie, how's my favourite cousin?

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Wow! What've you got there?

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It's not a what, it's a who.

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His name's Clooney, he's the school guinea pig.

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It was my turn to look after him over the weekend.

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-I'm going to show Nev before taking him back to school.

-Hello!

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Hello, Clooney-wooney, hello!

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He's cute!

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I'm glad you brought him round, Nev would love to see him.

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Were you going somewhere?

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Oh! Yes, right, work!

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I'm going to be later than late. See you!

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Right, how do I look?

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Ta-dah!

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Um...same.

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-Uh?

-Tip-top-eroo!

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Ah! Ha-ha! I'll go and show Doris me new look!

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Groovy.

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Nev!

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Smelanie!

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I've got someone new for you to meet.

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Say hello to Clooney!

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Uh! Groovy!

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Oh! Love you, Clooney!

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Cooee!

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Anyone home?

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Postie.

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Oh, Nev, I'm glad you're in.

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I've got this parcel for Mr Prank but...

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-he didn't seem to be in when I knocked.

-Hmm...

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KNOCKING Cooee!

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Mr Prank, you lovely man, I've got a delivery for you!

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-Don't make a sound, Bandit.

-Meow!

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She might go away!

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So I was wondering if I could leave this parcel with you?

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No problemo.

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Great. Hello, Melanie.

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Ooh, what have we got here?

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Postie, meet Clooney.

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Oh.

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Aw!

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Who is the most cutest guinea pig in the world?

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Yes, you are!

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Pffft!

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I know you're down there somewhere.

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Ha-ha!

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If Mr Barney's going to let me use his electricity and washing machine,

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I'll wash every pair of pants I can find. Ewww. Right, more.

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Aww, lovely Clooney.

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Aww!

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It's only me, Bear.

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I would have been over sooner,

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but I had to hide from that parcel pushing post pesterer. Ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, there you are, you gorgeous, handsome Mr Prank.

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I thought you weren't home.

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Well, well...yeah, you see, I had some important pants to attend to.

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Oh, what you got 'ere?

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Oh.

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Awwww...a-choo!

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HE SNEEZES

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I could get him out if you'd like a closer look?

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A-choo! No, no, no!

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One hairy monstrosity is enough.

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Grr...

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Wow. Angry Pants is even more allergic to Clooney than he is you.

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Oh, don't worry. Postie will make it all better.

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Blooming guinea pig!

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Right, better get you back to school, Clooney,

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before you set Angry Pants off again.

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Clooney?

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Hey, where did he go?

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SQUEAKS

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Mundo problemo.

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Ta-dah! So, what do you think, Doris darl?

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Am I looking good?

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Oh, come on, Doris! Give a koala a break, will you?

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You can't even look me in the eye any more.

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Actually, what are you looking at?

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G'day, stranger. Hee-hee!

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Normally I'm happy to make a new buddy

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but you've caught us at a bit of a bad time.

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Aww!

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Didger me doodah, you are a handsome fella!

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No wonder my Doris can't take her eyes off you.

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Well, you can't pinch my babe.

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Don't look, Doris.

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Wackadoo, Doris!

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Don't leave me!

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The nerve. Coming down here and trying to take a bear's beloved!

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Get out of here and take your twinkly eye with you!

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So long, buddy!

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-Clooney!

-Where are you?

-Where are you?

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Any sign of him, Mr Prank?

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Well, I'm not sneezing, am I?

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A-choo!

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-Yucky.

-Out of my way, bear.

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If Clooney's not in here, then he must have wandered outside.

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-Let's go.

-OK.

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Oh, ow, ow!

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Look, I can't spend all day upside down, I've got pants to wash.

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A-choo!

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-Clooney!

-Aah!

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-Aw, look at you!

-Let's get you back to school, where you're safe!

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Aw, poor Mr Prank. What you need is someone to look after you.

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What I need is to wash my pants!

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I've got to run. Say goodbye to everyone.

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Aww, bye-bye, Clooney!

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Aww, you're so cute! Bye!

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Oh, poor Mr Prank. If only he could see...

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I know!

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WAILS AND SOBS

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It's no good, Nevvy, it's over!

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What?

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Only the love story of the century. Me and Doris.

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We're finished! Waaaah!

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-No way, Jose.

-Doris has dumped me for a hairy little blighter

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with a twinkle in his eye.

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Uh, Clooney!

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Oh, so that's his name, is it?

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Well, she's thinking about him right now. See?

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Oh, dear, oh, dear.

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Oh, last time I saw that light in her eyes, we were on Bondi Beach.

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I was a surfing superstar back then

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and Doris couldn't take her eyes off me.

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Oh...I know, I know!

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Nevvy?

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What?

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What on earth...

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Ta-dah!

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Where you going, Nevvy? Huh! Have you got an idea?

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Oh, I love you, buddy!

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Ha-ha!

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Awesome idea, Nevvy! Woo-hoo!

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Cowabunga! Remember Bondi, Doris?

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Ha-ha, are you impressed?

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TOILET FLUSHES

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Uh-oh!

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Keith...

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What is it, Nevvy?

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Huh! Wackadoo..!

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-SPLASH!

-Crazy Keith!

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Wackadooooooo!

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Mundo problemo!

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You're going into the washing machine,

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if it's the last thing I do!

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Nevvvvvy!

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Funny, I've never heard a washing machine make that noise before.

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Right.

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BANG!

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Oh, come on!

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Why aren't you working?!

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NEVVVVVYYYY!

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Owww!

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Yikes, I've been in some tight spots before,

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but this one just takes the biscuit.

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I know, I know!

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Jibbidy-ya!

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Oh, crikey! The pressure's really building.

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If I don't unstick myself soon, something's going to blow! Oh!

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FLUSHING Cowabunga!

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Aaaargh!

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TOILET FLUSHES

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Aaaaaaaahhhh!

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Zoom!

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There must be some sort of blockage in the water system, I reckon.

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Come on, you!

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-HE SNIFFS

-Phew. I got pants to wash!

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Aaaah!

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Aaaah!

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Crazy Keith!

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FLUSHING

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Aaaah, woo-hoo!

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Oooohhh!

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Three, two, one...

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Jibbidy-ya!

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Waah, wahhhh!

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CRASH!

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Oh, good. Sounds like I've managed to unblock the blockage!

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Good catch there, Nevvy!

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What do you say, Doris?

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Did the sight of me back on a surfboard relight your fire?

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Oh, not enough, eh?

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Oh, sorry, Crazy Keith.

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Oh, don't be, Nevvy. We just weren't thinking big enough, that's all.

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We need a bigger stunt,

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so this koala can prove he'll do anything to win his girl back.

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I know, I know! Angry Pants.

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Wackadoo, Nevvy!

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Only a true daredevil would take him on.

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Oh, ha-ha-ha!

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Eww, don't know what's wrong with that washing machine.

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Still, at least me pants got a good soaking if not a proper wash.

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Oh, right, well...

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I think I'll have a little kip after all that hard work.

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Now, there we are.

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So, Nevvy, what's the plan?

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Pants.

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Angry Pants. And...?

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Angry Pants' pants.

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Eh?

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Oh!

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Gotcha!

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You see, when you tie these undies together like this,

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they're pretty stretchy. Bit like a bungee,

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is that what you were thinking, Nevvy?

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Too right, bro.

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Whoa!

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Strewth, you want me to bungee jump

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right into Angry Pants' snoring great food chute?

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Too right, bro.

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Oh, that's crazy! That's crazier than crazy.

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It's brilliant!

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Love you, Crazy Keith.

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Ah, keep watching, Doris.

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See what I'll do to impress you and win you back?

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Oh, OK, here goes.

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Three, two, one, wackadoo!

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Crazy Keith!

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We appear to have miscalculated the relative sizes of Angry Pants' mouth

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and my head, Nevvy. I'm stuck!

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And, unless I'm very much mistaken, something's going to blow!

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Aaaah!

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Didger me doodah!

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NEVVVVVYY!

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Ouch.

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Not quite the heroic action we had in mind, Nevvy.

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Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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OK, Nevvy. Operation Bandit.

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This is sure to win the heart of my Doris.

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DISCO MUSIC PLAYS

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We find Bandit, I attract the mangy moggy's attention and then...

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run for me life!

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Hmm, too crazy, Crazy Keith. Frightened.

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You're frightened?

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Confidentially, Nevvy, I'm terrified!

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But if this is what it takes to set my Doris's pulse racing,

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I'm game!

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THEY WHISPER

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Are you watching, Doris darl? This is for you, babe!

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Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

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BANDIT SNORES

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Oh, right, here goes.

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HE KISSES BANDIT

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Aaaaaargh!

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Fishy, but not as bad as I was expecting.

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Meow!

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Aahh! Didger me doodah!

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Meow!

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Can you see me, Doris? Can you see me?!

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Meow!

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-Meow!

-Aaaah!

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Mundo problemo.

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Don't know how my pants ended up like this.

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Or where that funny taste in my mouth came from.

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But I bet it's got something to do with that bear.

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Mr Prank, what happened?

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Eh?

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What are you wearing?

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Well, ever since you started sneezing,

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I've been wondering what would make you feel better?

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Oh. News of you leaving the country.

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Poor thing, you're clearly delirious.

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-Meow!

-Aaaah! I've never felt so endangered in all me life! Aaah!

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-Crazy Keith!

-Meow!

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Are you watching, Doris?

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-Can you see how much you mean to me?

-Meow!

-Aaaah!

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Mundo problemo!

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Oh, Mr Prank...I don't think I've ever felt so close to you.

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Yeah, that's what's worrying me. You got us all tangled up here.

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One good pull should sort it out.

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Aaah! Woo!

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Wackadoo!

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Oh, you beauty!

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Waaaah!

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TYRES SCREECH

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Keithy Boy has left the building!

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Woo-hoo-hoo!

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-Oh.

-Get off!

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Ah-ha-ha!

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Free at last!

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Oh, yes.

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Huh! My post!

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Bear! I know you're responsible for this!

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D'you mind?

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-Get out my way, you...

-Hello.

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-What's everyone doing here?

-You... you know I'm always here to help.

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Postie's dropped her post, Mr Barney, sir. Oh, dear.

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If I help you pick it up, it'll be picked up faster, won't it?

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All right, Postie?

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Change of career?

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Wackadoo!

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Did anyone else hear that?

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Get off me, you manky moggy!

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Ah! I knew if I did something completely and utterly bonkers,

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Doris, you'd come running back to me! Oh, mwah!

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Take that, Clooney!

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-Aw!

-Let's go, babe.

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ENGINE STARTS

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-There you go, mate. Super snug.

-Aye, aye, Captain.

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I was thinking, seeing as Clooney was so cute,

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I think we should get a guinea pig.

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No way, Jose!

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OK, seeing as you feel so strongly about it, we won't bother.

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Sleep?

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-Yeah, yeah.

-OK.

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-Love you, mate.

-Love you, Barney.

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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