School's In Bear Behaving Badly

MUSIC

Triple Choco Bongo Balls. Tasty cereal for my fave cuzzy-wuzzy!

-There you go, Nev.

-Love you, Barney.

Well, what about a bacon and egg sandwich?

Sunny side up.

Swimming in grease.

Just what a top TV presenter needs for brekkie.

Yeah, I'm not hungry.

You're not scared about today's skydive are you?

Oh, excuse me!

I mean, jumping out of a plane miles above the ground

can make anyone queasy.

Oh, no, no, no, no! Aaah!

Hey, hey. It's OK. Don't worry about it.

I'm a TV presenter. It'll be cool. I'm not scared.

Too right, bro.

You so are scared. Anyway, you're only doing it to impress Beatrice.

I am not! It was my idea. I had to talk her into doing it, didn't I?

Erm... Do-do-doo-do-do-do-doo!

-Morning, all!

-Beetroot!

I am so glad I talked you into doing this skydive, Barney.

-Yeah. It'll be as easy as falling off a log.

-Or out of a plane!

Nice one, Mel.

Can we stop talking about me jumping out of planes, please?

You're scaring Nev!

We're leaving in 10 minutes. I'll see you out the front.

-Scaredy!

-Not!

-Are!

-Not!

-Are!

-Not!

-Are!

-Not!

-Are!

NEV BURPS

Oh, nice one, Nev!

-Keith!

-Wackadoo! That sounds like Beatrice.

It is Beatrice. Can't you see me?

All I can see is a skellybob through these X-Ray specs!

-Come off it, Keith. They're not real X-Ray specs!

-Really?

Ah, I can see you went with a sausage belt-stretcher for brekkie.

What are you staring at Mr Prank's wall for then?

Old Angry Pants has been secretly stocking up ice cream supplies.

I've got brain freeze just thinking about it. Wackadoo!

Who's there? Who is it?

It's just me, Mr Prank.

Oh, I thought I heard that blue bear.

No bear here.

I've taken a big delivery of ice cream for my business

and I don't want anyone else to know about it.

-You just told me.

-Oh, yeah. I did, didn't I?

That bear's up to something. I think he's planning a surprise attack.

If he isn't, I am!

-Everything alright, Beatrice?

-Yes, just leaning.

All this silence is a trick, you know.

They're trying to lure me away from my soft scoop,

trying to lull me into a false sense of social security.

Mr Prank, you're just being paranoid.

THINGS FALLING INSIDE THE HOUSE

You did actually did see Mr Prank's ice cream through his wall?

Yep, as plain as the nobbles on a cookie's back.

That ice cream's got Keithy's name written all over it.

HE SLURPS

-Did you hear it that time, Bandit?

-Eh? No.

-Oh!

What about then?

Eh? No!

Exactly. Silence. You know what silence means, don't you?

Silence equals a scheming blue bear

trying to rob my freezer of its ice cream. That's what that means!

I can't bear the silence any more.

PAN PIPES PLAY ON RADIO

Oh. Oh, that's alright.

CAT MEOWS

RADIO: Are you struggling to keep your ice cream supply

-safe from a blue bear?

-What?

RADIO: Need a new way to keep the little blue furball out of your flat?

-Take up karate!

-Karate?

RADIO: Karate - the best way to fight back!

Well, it's worth a try, I suppose.

RADIO: Teach yourself karate

by listening carefully to our next programme.

RADIO: In the event of injury,

the radio station accepts no responsibility.

Tips may not be bought, sold or modified at any time.

Karate does not help those with the onset of paranoia!

Nev, stop worrying. It's really safe.

I'm going to need them, by the way. Thank you.

Besides, mate, people skydive all the time.

You're right, bro.

Yeah, how hard can it be to plummet to earth like a dart?!

Don't you have a school to get to, Melanie?

You are so scared, cuz.

You are sooo going to be late for school.

There's your bag. Thanks very much. Off you go. Goodbye.

-Now!

-RADIO: Attention all schoolchildren

who've just been told they're sooo late for school!

-RADIO: School's out for today.

-What?

RADIO: I said there's no school today. School has been cancelled.

RADIO: Here's a wicked tune to celebrate.

-Jibbidy-ya!

-Shake it for me, Nev. School's out and I don't care!

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

Silence!

-I hear school has been cancelled.

-Yes, Aunt Barbara.

Let me assure you lessons will be taking place right here, right now.

What? But this is Barney's flat.

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

This is my classroom.

HEAVENLY NOISE

Groovy! Woo!

Well, this all looks great, but I've got a plane to catch.

-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, mate.

Oh, I'll be fine. Yeah, I'll be fine.

Of course you will. You'll be sitting in class doing your work.

-No, I've...

-Now sit!

-Melanie?

-Here.

-Harwood?

-Uh, here.

Little Nevvy Wevvy?

Woof-woof!

Oh, old Angry Pants is watching his ice cream like a hawk! Uh!

BANGING NOISE

I can't budge those floorboards. His freezer's sitting on them.

There's no way in.

I'm no quitter, Doris. You know that!

It's time... to unleash... the Keithy Catapult!

I've been working on this little beauty for weeks and...

Ha-ha-ha! Watch closely now, Dor.

Here's little me, Doris, yearning for ice cream.

What's this? Oh!

I'm flying! I'm walking in the air!

Once I'm on the chimney, it's down into the flat of Pants

and "Hello, mint choc chip." Ha-ha! Any questions?

Ah, I'm glad you asked me that!

How am I going to get up and down without bruising my doodah?

Well, on a bungee attached to my Keithy Catapult, of course.

It's the Aussie way.

Sure there are risks.

But think of the rewards.

KEITH SCREAMS

I'm fine. Fine!

Eyes front. Let's start with some jolly verbal reasoning.

Oh!

If a vicar ate three doughnuts and two eclairs,

how many yum-yums would he leave for the nuns?

This is not happening!

Aunt Barbara, I've really got to go.

You should've gone before class started, Harwood. Sit!

-Oh-oh-oh-oh!

-Yes, Nevvy?!

-Woof-woof.

-Correct. The answer is none.

The vicar ate all the yum-yums.

Aunt Barbara, I've got to go and jump out of a plane.

Sit down, Harwood, and it's Miss! Call me Miss!

Don't listen to the disruptive boy, little Nevvy Wevvy!

Teacher's pet!

Every teacher needs a pet. Nevvy's mine. Treat Nevvy?!

Wait for it. Wait for it. And go!

-Woof-woof!

-Good doggie. Now you can go and get the drinks ready.

You are now officially the class milk monitor.

Jibbidy-ya!

Where do you think you're going, Harwood? Playing truant, hey?

-Not on my watch!

-I've got to jump out of a plane. It's for charity.

Oh, for charity now, is it? Is there no end to your tedious excuses?

Sorry, Aunt... I miss Miss! Sorry, Miss. Sorry, Miss.

The silence is deafening.

Get our of my head, bear!

Yeee-woo-ha!

Wooo-ha!

OK, bear. You think you can break me? You've got another thing coming!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

You want my ice cream?

You but it like everybody else!

Wooo-ha!

-Aaaaah!

-Mr Prank, are you OK?

Oh-oh-oh! Ouch!

Oh! Aaaah-aaaah-aaaah!

OK, Doris. Prepare to launch.

And, er... If anything were to happen...

That is, if this boomerang doesn't come back,

I hope you'll always have a place in your heart that bounces for me?!

Right, pull the lever, Doris.

DRUM ROLL

I'm ready. Pull it, Doris!

Oh, how could I be so insensitive?!

Of course you can.

You don't want to risk losing your little Keithy, do you? Oh!

I'm going to need someone else to fire the Keithy Catapult.

Someone with a steady hand and a love of ice cream.

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Of course! Nev!

Nevvy?! Little Nevvy?!

Do-do-doo-do-do-do-do-do-doo!

Yum-yum.

-Thanks, Nev.

-Mm-mm.

# Do-do-dood-do-do.# Yum-yum!

SPLASH

Thanks, Nev(!)

-Good little Nevvy doggie!

-Woof woof!

-NEVILLE SINGS

-Nevvy! Nevvy! I need you to...

-Beetroot!

-Come back!

What are you doing? We'll be late if we don't leave. What's this?

I'll tell you what this is, this is a very late naughty girl!

-What?

-Sit down and study.

-Barney's got a charity skydive.

-Skydive whydive?

You'll all be in for the skyjump if you don't stop this fibbing!

LAUGHTER

Now let's see you get in there and pinch the ice-cream, bear!

-SNEEZES

-He's here. Somewhere near.

He's setting off my allergies.

ALL: Three times four is twelve.

ALL: Four times four is sixteen.

-Good girl, Beatrice.

-Thank you, miss.

-BOING

-Don't do that, Melanie.

Right, bear. My nemesis. It's time to face up, it's time to face-off.

Ahh. For the honour of ice-cream.

Aaaaiiee!

Ah! Ow. CRASH

Come on then, bear. Just me and you. Man to bear.

Oh. Miss Barbara, sir. Ooh, ma'am.

Master Plank has decided to grace us with his presence.

BANG

AAH! What are you doing?

Don't answer back, boy.

There's always one trouble maker in class, and you're it.

Ow. Aw.

-How are we going to get away?

-Don't know but we must do it fast.

That plane won't wait forever.

As I was saying, Nevvy, do you fancy eating your own weight in ice-cream?

Yum-yum!

Right then, let me introduce you to a friend of mine.

-Huh? What's that?

-My Keithy Catapult.

Groovy!

It's quite simple. When I say, "Go," pull that lever.

-Easy-peasy.

-No! I'm not tied to the bungee yet!

-Waa-aaah!

-Uh-oh.

-CRASH

-Mundo problemo.

Good gravy! There's a hole in my black board.

Aww.

Who did it? Who vandalised school equipment?

No-one's going to split, eh?

The old playground code.

Well, codes are like eggs - perfect for cracking.

Hands on heads.

Strewth!

MOUTHS

What is it, Harwood? Have you something to share?

Well, I...

When I find out who vandalised my board, I'll make sure the culprit

never sees the inside of my classroom again!

Never sees the inside of her classroom again.

Um...I did it, miss.

-What?

-I might have known.

And I did it too.

-Yeah. We both did it.

-You didn't touch it.

Oh yes we did. I broke the blackboard and Beatrice did, too.

-I am so guilty.

-Actually, I did it, too.

-Can I be expelled?

-Oh, oh! It was me! I did it!

-I want to be expelled.

-SILENCE!

Beatrice and Harwood. Get out of my sight.

BOTH: Yes, miss!

-Wh-wh-what about us, miss?

-Detention.

-Here I am.

-Oh. Hey, Nev.

-You've come to see us off?

-Wouldn't miss it.

You're shaking like a wallaby's wobble board! Hah hah!

Yeah. I'm a little bit nervous.

-Poor Barney.

-He'll be fine.

-MWAH!

-Love you, beetroot.

-See you, Nev.

-Miss you, Barney.

Right, Nev. We've got work to do.

With Angry Pants in detention, we've got ice-cream to eat. To my lair!

Away we go.

-When can we go, miss?

-I've got to check on my ice...

I've, erm, got some caretaking to do.

You'll got when I say so!

Time to do some brain teasers.

If I had four apples and three oranges in one hand,

and four apples and eight oranges in the other hand, what would I have?

Very big hands! LAUGHS

Oh, I do like a spot of fun at the end of the school day!

LAUGHS

Right, let's have a little looksie.

We must get it right if we're to get down Angry Pants' chimney.

-A little to the right, Nevvy.

-Hmm.

# Dum-de-dum-dum-daa. #

Um, no. A little to the left.

-NEV STRAINS

-# Dum-de-dum-dum-daa. #

Perfect! All systems go, Nev. To the chimney!

Next stop, Angry Pants' freezer!

-Aye-aye, captain.

-DRUMROLL

Don't forget to feed the woodworm, Doris.

Three, two, one.

-Waah!

-Cheerio!

-Uh-oh. Wah!

-BOING

CRASH

'I think I might have miscalculated!'

Wo-o-oah!

Aargh! Barney! Beetroot!

BOTH: Wo-o-oah!

What are you two doing here?

Dropping in on Angry Pants for a bite to eat.

Ice-cream!

Look! We can see our house from here!

-Chimney!

-Well spotted, Nevvy. Time to go.

-Three, two, one.

-BOTH: Wo-o-oah!

SHOUTING

CRASH

CLOCK TICKS

And finally, who can end the following well-known phrase,

"What goes up must come..."

-Down.

-BANG

SHOUTING AND SCREAMING

Er, right. Class dismissed.

As easy as falling off a log.

SCREAMS

Eugh. Some things should never be seen.

Oh no!

NEV SHOUTING AND LAUGHING

My ice-cream!

I'll get you, b-b-bear! Rawr.

MAKES AEROPLANE NOISES

You know what, Nev, I think from now on, I'll keep my feet on the ground.

-No more skydiving for me.

-Me too.

Mate, you shouldn't have eaten Mr Prank's ice-cream. It wasn't yours.

I know, I know. Sorry, Barney.

-CREAKING

-Wagga-do!

Keith! That's my pizza, bring it back.

NEVILLE LAUGHS

BRIAN LAUGHS

Whee! Hoo-hoo!

Hasta la pizza, baby!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.