Hair Today Bottersnikes & Gumbles


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Who wants to know what this is?

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-We know already.

-This is a wart from King Snike's bottom, got by me.

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Tink, showing off isn't brave or clever,

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except when you've done something really brave,

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like snatching this trumpet from the top of the highest junk peak ever.

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PLAYS BRIEF TUNE

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True, but it's not a wart, now, is it?

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-Trumpet!

-Wart!

-Trumpet!

-Wart!

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You two - collecting trophies is far too dangerous

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and not worth arguing about,

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because neither of those are as good as my snike burp in a jar!

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-Trumpet!

-Wart!

-Snike burp!

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-WILLI WHIMPERS

-Trumpet!

-Burp!

-Wart!

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Will everyone just stop showing off their trophies?

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-Wart!

-Trumpet!

-Snike burp!

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Hmm.

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That way. More!

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Isn't mirror holder a gumble job, Your Odiousness?

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Shut up! Higher.

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Something's wrong.

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Oh! I'm too clean!

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Clear the area of snikes and arrange me a grime bath immediately.

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-Of course, Your Sliminess.

-No, don't stand!

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Go like that so I can laugh at you.

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You look so stupid! Ha-ha-ha!

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-Wart!

-Trumpet!

-Burp in a jar!

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-Will you all just stop now?

-Your time will come, Willi.

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You can't expect to have a trophy at your age.

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Happi's right. You're a bit too young.

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-Little fella!

-So cute!

-Ha-ha-ha!

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-Wart.

-Burp in a jar.

-Trumpet.

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-Trumpet!

-Oh, yeah?

-Wart!

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Ah!

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# ..Covered in filth, muck and ooze,

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# Cos I'm rancid and vile and I honk and I stink. #

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HE SNIFFS

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# I'm the best king ever, I think,

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# Cos I'm rancid and vile and I honk and I stink. #

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Can't be this easy, can it?

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Who's there?

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-Ow! Ow!

-Oh!

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Huh?

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Oh! Oh!

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What the butt?

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GROWLS

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I look beautiful!

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The most stupendous snike who ever walked the junkyard!

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-Mm.

-Hm?

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Huh? You!

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-You're a gumble!

-There's a very good reason for this.

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-Except I don't know it yet.

-I don't care, you rubbery grub-guzzler!

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With hair like you, I'm a triumph!

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So stay here. Stay hair. Behave.

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-Wart.

-Trumpet.

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-YAWNING:

-Burp in a...

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Where's Willi?

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Willi!

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-Willi!

-Willi!

-Willi!

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There we go.

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LOUD BANGING BOTH SCREAM

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GRUNTING AND SNARLING

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-BOTH:

-Oh!

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Oh, hello!

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King got hair!

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Is that a gumble?

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Shut up! No, it's not a gumble!

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And if anyone ever says that again, I shall sit on their head!

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Understood?

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-Er...

-Uh-huh, uh-huh.

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Chenk right! It is gumble!

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-Grr!

-Argh!

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Your new-look no-gumble-haired king needs to finish his bath,

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so all of you, clear off!

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No escaping, understand?

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No, no, 'course not!

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-Wah!

-This "hair gel" should keep you in place. Ha!

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And this can go out of reach of squidgy little prying hands.

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Ah!

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SNORING

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STRAINING

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What's he doing?

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Great news - we're here!

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Come on! Let's get out of here!

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What are you doing?

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Uh-uh.

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Ah!

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GULPS

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Ah!

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Huh?

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STRAINING

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What? Give me that!

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Got you!

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You'll do.

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Trying to steal my crown again?

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To the spangler with you!

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Wait! If you stretch me, I'll be no good as hair.

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You need punishing, but I also want hair.

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Punishment or hair?

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Here tomorrow, spang tomorrow.

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Ah!

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Plan. Need a plan.

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Huh! I got me a plan!

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Ah! Mm!

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Totally stylish, Your Sireness.

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Ah!

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Er, yeah, it's good hair. Yeah.

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Nearly the best in Snike Hill.

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Yes!

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Wait, what?!

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Chank! Take that gumble off your head!

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Er, the what, Your Frightfulness?

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Are you suggesting a snike would wear a gumble as a wig?

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Yes! No! I...

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-Oh, of course not.

-Quite right.

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This is all my own hair and I'm very proud of it.

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Oh.

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Hooray!

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Oh! Good gusting!

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Run! Now!

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CHANK SIGHS

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-What?!

-Oh!

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Tremendous!

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Quiffilicious!

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Argh!

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Buzzing!

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Fantastic!

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-Ooh!

-Amazing!

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-Can't go on.

-We'll run for it.

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KING SNARLS

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-Ow!

-Oh, come on!

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Groovy!

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-Ready?

-Er...

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Now!

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-Oh!

-Willi!

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What? Chank's hair was a gumble all along?

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Huh? Didn't we already know that?

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-ALL:

-Shh!

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Hmm. A gumble making Chank look stupid and embarrassing.

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This will not go unpunished.

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To the spangler!

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Ow! Ow!

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No. No, stop!

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Astonishment! The king's hair was also a gumble!

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Oh! But I thought...

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Oh, no, I'll go now.

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My hair was a gumble?

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Oh, damn their cunning trickery!

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Not Tink. Spang me instead!

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Who should I spang - this one, or this one?

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This one? Yes! No.

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-This one. This one.

-No!

-And then this one. I'm a genius.

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-Splendid beard! New?

-Yeah, trying it out.

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I've always favoured the goatee.

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Load 'em up!

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-Huh?

-Hmm.

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Now!

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ALL YELLING

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Go, go, go!

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I'm sorry I dragged you all into this.

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Well, it all worked out in the end,

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apart from you not having a trophy, unlike me with my burp in a jar!

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-Trumpet!

-Wart!

-Burp in a...

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I'm thinking this beats them all.

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Snikes, attack!

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Bad idea?

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