Episode 9 Brain Freeze

Did you know that the world's first computer programme was

-written in 1843?

-What clever clogs figured that one out, Doctor?

Her name was Ada Lovelace, and she was a brilliant mathematician

and scientist.

Speaking of "brilliant" scientists, where in crumpet's name is McCork?

Look at this, lads, the Super Squishy 9000.

-It's the best ice cream machine on the planet.

-Oh, McCork!

-Get to your desk!

-Wooo-whoa!

This is Brain Freeze!

With Dr Knowles...

Professor McCork...

ZAP!

And Colin, the floor manager.

TELEVISION NEWS THEME MUSIC

STAND BY!!!

# Brain Freeze! #

Hello, everyone, you're very welcome to Brain Freeze!

Let's dive right in and reveal...

Today we're asking, can computers think?

In the early days, computers were incredibly basic.

-They were slow, took up a whole room and cost a fortune.

-Ha!

-Sounds like me.

-But think about it. That was less than a century ago.

As processors got smaller, computers got faster,

so much so that today I've got a computer in my pocket -

my smartphone - that's thousands of times cheaper,

smaller and more powerful than those original machines.

Ah, tell me about it. Mine keeps beating me at Furious Badgers.

Ah! I wish I could think that fast.

Well, the truth is, it's not really thinking, Professor.

Computers can only do exactly what they're told. No more and no less.

Really? And how are we supposed to tell them what to do?

-They never listen.

-Well, that's where computer coding comes in.

But before we even go there, let's take a quick break.

TELEVISION NEWS THEME MUSIC

And we're clear!

OK, so step one, "ensure you have all the pieces required to

"complete construction." Meh, close enough.

"Step two, carefully programme the system using the following code."

Meh, I don't really want to do that.

Er, you might want to pay a bit more attention to the instructions,

-Professor.

-Sh. Busy.

-But, McCork, you can't just make it up!

-Programming.

-But, but, but...

-No, Colin. Leave him.

Let's see how he gets on doing it his way.

BELL RINGS

Five seconds till live! Positions!

TELEVISION NEWS THEME MUSIC

Welcome back. So, let's talk about coding.

A computer programme is a series of instructions,

and just as a chef follows each step in a recipe,

a computer follows the steps in whatever programme it's running.

But if you skip a stage or leave out a part of the code,

things might not work out so well.

SLURP!

Bleh!

The difference is, computers don't make mistakes. Well, not often.

And we've already achieved some truly remarkable

results by programming computers in this way.

Keyhole surgery, 3D printing, driverless cars...

Furious Badgers.

HE GROANS

All right, Jack, computers are great, we get it.

But, Doctor, can they really think like us?

Computers can't think for themselves in the way we do, at least not yet.

Phew!

But with clever human programmers at the helm, the possibilities

for computers really are limitless and could change the world.

The only limit is your imagination.

Well, I suppose it's time for all us coders to get coding.

See you next time!

TELEVISION NEWS THEME MUSIC

And we're clear!

Roll up, roll up. Who wants to try the first Squishy?

SQUISHING AND RATTLING

-Uh-oh!

-THAT does not look good.

It's got a life of its own!

THEY YELP

SQUISHING

Any sign of them instructions?