Beards Brain Freeze


Beards

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BELL RINGS

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-Looking good, Professor.

-You're sure to win Beard of the Year with that.

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Huh! Fat chance of that.

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HE SINGS TO HIMSELF

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Wow! Now, that's a beard!

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HE LAUGHS

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Better luck next year, McCork. As if!

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Well, someone seems a little overconfident.

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BELL RINGS

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Come on, let's do this. I've got a trophy to win!

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This is Brain Freeze.

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With Dr Knowles,

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Professor McCork,

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Colin, the floor manager

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And Ms Hucklebuck.

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Stand by!

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-TOGETHER:

-It's time for...

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Today, we're asking - why can't girls grow beards?

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As children get older, their bodies begin to change

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during a time we call puberty.

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Around the age of 10 to 16, hormones called androgens

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cause body hair to become thicker and darker in both boys and girls.

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This happens more widely on the male body,

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especially on the chest,

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the upper lip, the face...

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The ears, nostrils, along your back and shoulders, between your toes...

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Well, some people are hairier than others, Professor.

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The truth is, it's different for everyone.

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And isn't it great to be a bit different?

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See you after the break!

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HE SINGS TO HIMSELF

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Back of the net! Ooh-hoo-hoo!

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Oh, what a lovely trophy. So shiny.

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What's it for, Jonathan?

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Oh, it's nothing major.

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It's just this little competition that my family has won

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FOR THE LAST 50 YEARS! Ha-ha!

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Beard of the Year - he wins it every time.

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Mm... Is that so?

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Hmm...

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Steady hand, nice and relaxed.

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-BELL RINGS

-WAH!

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Aagh-aagh! Oh, crumpets! No!

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My beautiful beard!

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Positions, everybody!

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So tell us, Dr Knowles, why can't girls grow beards?

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In much the same way as lions and peacocks use hair

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and feathers to attract females,

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some believe men evolved to do the same with facial hair.

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Men produce ten times more testosterone than women.

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This is the hormone that promotes hair growth.

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So, that's why men are hairier?

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Exactly.

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In fact, if a man never, ever shaves his facial hair,

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it could grow up to nine metres long during his lifetime.

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Whoa! Imagine, that would be the beard of the century.

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Higher levels of testosterone also result in men's greater

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upper body strength and deepened voices,

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but also a tendency towards more aggressive behaviour.

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Aah!

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HE LAUGHS

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-Us men can be right silly sometimes.

-Yep.

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We can all be a bit silly now and then.

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See you next time!

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And we're clear!

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Na-na-nana-nah!

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I'm the only entrant, therefore I'm the winner!

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Gracious as ever, McCork(!)

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Woohoo! Late entrant for the competition.

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Where do I sign up?

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But that's a fake beard from the joke shop.

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We spent months growing these beards.

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Yes, and so what?

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Well, it says here, Professor,

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the overall winner shall be the person sporting the biggest beard.

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Sorry, it doesn't say that you have to grow it yourself.

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BOTH: Oh, crumpets!

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Congratulations, Ms Hucklebuck!

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Oh, wonderful. Beard of the Year!

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-Oh, well. Better luck next year, boys.

-Oh.

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