Episode 6 Celebrity Driving Academy

Driving Academy is back with a bump!

And this time with added celebrity!

So mean!

We've got stars who are disasters in cars, plus their kids

helping them to become better drivers by joining them

on a one week crash course behind the wheel.

Over five days, our teams are going head-to-head in five of the most

outrageous driving challenges on the planet.

Who will overcome their bad habits

and impress the Academy's super-strict Chief Examiner Sandra?

What?

And which team will be crowned the champions

of Celebrity Driving Academy?

You're always getting us lost, it's got to be round here somewhere!

Oh, hello. I'm Joe Swash and welcome to Celebrity Driving Academy!

We're here to sort out our celebrities' terrible driving habits

and general bad behaviour on the roads, because,

at the end of the week, we're going to be putting our teams through

the hardest test of their lives - the Monster Superskills Challenge!

Right, come on, it's got to be round here somewhere.

Is it not over there?

Coming up on Day One at Driving Academy...

Giant footballs as our teams battle for points in today's

Reversing Superskills Challenge...

But first, let's meet our calamitous celebs and their kids.

Playing in blue, it's comedian and TV presenter Rowland Rivron

and his son Ned.

I've fallen into bad habits and they're habits that are

so ingrained, I don't know if they can be rinsed out!

Do you know what, I think I might turn out to be

the better driver in the end.

The Green Team is pop star and presenter Jamelia

and daughter Teja.

I do sing and dance behind the wheel, but it's fun!

Oh, come on, our school run journeys are the best.

We have people in other cars jealous

because it looks like we're having a party in our car.

-Hands in the air!

-Yeah, see, like that and the wheel is just like...

And finally, the Orange Team, impressionist Debra Stephenson

and son Max.

I'm a bit cautious, I get a bit nervous, you know,

I could be a bit dippy and yeah, and if anyone's going to kind of

let the side down, it's probably going to be me, really.

They're all here trying win the Celebrity Driving Academy trophy,

awarded to the team scoring the most points

in the week's five Superskills challenges.

Each day there's a special treat for the worst team,

the dreaded Wash of Shame.

But before the competition gets under way,

we'd better teach the kids how to drive.

Of course our rookie drivers aren't allowed on public roads,

but that doesn't apply here at the Academy!

They've never driven before, so if they're going to

help their parents become better drivers, they'll need some lessons.

And elite driving instructor Vicky Lovell,

with over 25 years' experience, is one of the country's top tutors.

The key difference between teaching children and adults to drive

is adults only focus on passing the driving test,

and children actually want to be good at driving.

Throughout the lesson, Vicky has a set of dual controls

so our rookies are always in safe hands!

-I'm really looking forward to just going fast.

-Oh, dear!

But before you can do that, Ned, you need to start with the basics.

What we're going to do is let the clutch up a little bit.

Oooh, oooh, ooh!

That's quite a lot, then!

So a bit of a jumpy start there from Ned, but he's cracked it

and he's got the car moving.

Teja's off to a bit of a bumpy start too.

-Oooh!

-See, just a bit too much!

Not every 12-year-old gets to learn how to drive a car.

Yep, it's exciting!

Keep it still. Look, we're moving.

But keep your eyes on the road, Teja!

I wonder how Max is getting on?

Select first gear and take the handbrake off.

-Is that it?

-That's it.

Pull it and I'll help you. There you go.

I'm a little bit nervous to drive.

I don't know what the car's like and I've never driven before.

Nice and gently, hold it there.

Not the smoothest start, but remember, this is the first time

our rookies have ever been behind the wheel and it's tough!

Time to get to grips with some cornering.

Steer it back towards me. Good girl.

Get back onto our side of the road then.

Back on this side. So don't rev so much. Don't rev.

Now steer this way. Hold the steering wheel, not the gear.

And then turn round and go back up that way.

Making a car go forwards is hard enough,

but today's Superskill is all about reversing.

So our rookies will need to quickly master the art of making the car

go backwards, to stand any chance of winning today's competition.

To reverse safely, it's really important that everybody knows about

all the blind spots and to reverse with lots and lots of control.

So when we're reversing, what's the most important thing to do?

Look around you in the blind spots and in the mirrors.

-OK.

-Everywhere, really.

-OK.

Well said, Max!

Now if you were wondering what a blind spot is,

it's anything behind a car that you can't see in your mirrors,

like, let's say, a row of cones.

So we need to get a little bit closer to them,

to make it less difficult.

-Can you see it?

-No.

Keep going back then. Get the car nice and straight then.

Ooh, poor old Max is having a few problems too!

Are you missing the last one? Where is the last one?

Over there. And it should be...

So you went the wrong side of that one then, didn't you?

And not much better from Ned...

Stop. What can you hear?

I think...

Time's running out for our reversing rookies.

Will they be good enough to compete

in our Superskills reversing challenge?

But are their parents ready?

Before we let Rowland, Debra and Jamelia loose

on our Superskills course, there's one lady they need to impress.

I'm Sandra Dodson. Celebrity Driving Academy's Chief Driving Examiner.

With over 20 years' experience as an examiner,

what Sandra doesn't know about driving just isn't worth knowing.

She's designed a super tricky test course

here at the Academy to find out if their driving is up to scratch.

I'm looking for observation, control and good planning and scanning.

I want hazard awareness and I want to see knowledge,

understanding and a good attitude.

And they're off!

CARS ROAR Go, go, go.

Go, go, go, go! Step on it!

I haven't driven a manual car since my test!

Jamelia's making excuses already, but here comes Rowland!

As soon as you get a bit of open road,

it's like a red rag to a bull if you're a bit of a boy racer.

And it's onto the roundabout!

Mind the dummies! He should be wearing a helmet!

Meanwhile, Joker Jamelia is out of the roundabout

and setting up for the next bit of the course, which is designed

to test awareness and concentration.

I need some parking sensors!

Oh!

SHE LAUGHS

Honk if you use your mirrors!

Good awareness. But what about her concentration?

SHE SCREAMS AND LAUGHS

Oh, no, she's totally lost it!

You naughty dummy! How very dare you!

Yep, you tell 'em, Debs! But where's Rowland?

Got it, got it! Yay, there you go that's what you want.

Those are speed bumps, Rowland! You're meant to slow down!

Now Debra's on the speed bumps. How's she going to do?

A bit more welly, love. Over the bump.

Now she's got into the rhythm of things,

it seems like her confidence is growing.

It's like dancing in a car.

It's the three point turn next. Hang about. Where's Rowland gone?

'Go back to your three-point turn, go back to your three-point turn.'

Ah, didn't do the three-point turn!

Oh, he's missed it. He's got to go back and do it!

Sorry! Right, three-point turn.

Piece of cake.

And...hold on, that's it.

Sorry about that. There we go.

Jamelia's completing her three-point turn.

But... Ooh! Oh! She nearly lost it at the end!

Let's see how good her reverse parking is.

You guys are having a laugh!

There is no way I'm going to fit in here!

No such problems for the slightly nervous Debra,

who really took her time.

Don't hurry me, you dummies.

I think it's over, my ordeal is over.

But Reckless Rowland's not done yet...

That's OK. I think that worked.

I don't think there's any damage there. Job done!

So Wreck It Rowland, Nervous Debra and Joker Jamelia

have definitely failed to fill Sandra with confidence

in their driving.

It can only get worse!

Still to come on today's Celebrity Driving Academy...

A delicious slice of the Pieway Code quiz,

another epic fail for Mr Crash,

and who will be taking the Wash of Shame?

It's now time for the Superskills.

And today's one is going to be particularly tricky.

Our teams are going to have to be on the ball, quite literally

on the ball, because we're playing indoor football with cars!

Come on, guys, that's it! In it goes.

Dummies! What are you doing? This way! Come on!

This is Penalty Boot Out.

Our drivers have to reverse through a series of defender dummies

and score as many goals as possible using the boot of their car.

The adults get three minutes, then the rookies get five.

The team with the most goals wins, but beware,

our Chief Examiner Sandra is keeping a beady eye on everybody.

Her course is designed to teach them to reverse confidently,

and accurately.

A text book reverse is one that's controlled,

but has good all-round observation.

But remember, she can disallow goals if she spots any dangerous

or downright dumb driving!

First up, we have Rowland and Ned.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Kick off.

Rowland's got just three minutes to score as many goals as possible,

and he ain't hanging around!

I'm actually lost for words.

How's he making that car make that sound?

Well, I have absolutely no idea! I think he's a s... Oh!

Ooooh! He shoots! He scores!

First goal for the Blues in under 30 seconds!

He's scored a goal. Mind you, look at this, it's quite reckless.

Look at little Ned's face in the back of the car, look!

Sandra's not happy and Ned's holding on for dear life!

I don't know about you, Joe, but I can smell burning rubber!

Yeah!

It's in!

Two for Revving Rowland!

I think he's burning the clutch out!

He's going to break the car!

The clutch IS burning out,

and Reckless Rowland is on fire setting up for a hat-trick.

No hesitations. And there it is! Three for the Blues!

My problem is what example is this giving to young Ned?

Can he make it four?

Ooooooh! He's hit the post!

Speed, speed, speed! Give him his due, his accuracy is good.

And that's four for the Blues.

And with under a minute left on the clock,

Rowland's going to have to move it if he wants to make it five.

Oh, and it's a crazy slice!

That's what happens when you don't take time to set up properly.

Crunching the gears. Swinging the car out of control.

Oh, my goodness me!

Sandra's livid, but Rowland's desperate for the fifth!

Oooohh!

Literally smashing his way through the defence.

Number five.

WHISTLE BLOWS

And that's half-time! But what's this?

Well done, referee, red card.

It was a scrape, you know? It was a yellow card, at best.

Whether Sandra's going to throw her hairdryer at me later, I don't know.

Ned now with five minutes on the clock to increase the Blues' score.

Line it up nice and slowly!

"Slowly"!? I didn't even know Rowland knew that word.

I am telling you, I'm telling you now, Rowland's not directing him.

This is Ned behaving himself.

THEY CHEER

Excellent driving there from Ned, making it six for the Blues.

Let's go. That's it, really, left hand down.

Keep going, no, other way, other way. That's it.

Not too fast.

Rowland's like a different man in the back-seat,

giving nice, safe guidance to Ned.

-He's lining up. Oh, he's missed it!

-Oh, he's missed it.

Oh, he just clipped it.

Oh, it's an epic miss. That keeps the Blues on six goals.

That's good, straighten up, get it straight.

Look out, Ned!

Whoa! I think we might hit that one. Forwards.

That's it, you're through. Now, right hand down, right hand down.

Go on, go on.

Yeah! That's a goal.

Great strike! Great goal! That's seven for the Blues.

-Straighten up now, straighten up.

-I just go round it.

Yeah, and then...that's it, left hand down, left hand down.

Straighten up. Oh, we're going to...

Yeah, go on, go on, go on. I think that's in.

Stop, stop, stop!

Yes! Another goal.

A textbook goal, giving Ned his hat-trick and eight for the Blues.

Go, go, go!

Only 30 seconds left. Here he goes, can he make it nine?

I'm just going to stamp on...

Easy, Ned!

Stop! Oooh!

Oh, that's going to cost him.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Time's up for the Blues, but with a massive total of eight goals,

that's going to be tough to beat!

So explain to us what your driving technique was?

What I try and do is never let anyone else second guess

what I'm going to do.

I think you definitely achieved that.

Unfortunately, you both got red cards,

so we're going to have to wait

and see what Chief Examiner Sandra's has got to say about that.

-Is that all right?

-Yeah.

OK, next up we have Jamelia and Teja,

but has anyone seen Sandra?

There she is, in her office.

Under the ever-watchful eye of James May.

And what's she reading? The World's Greatest Roundabouts?!

Ah, the Black Horse roundabout in Bristol...

Hardly Harry Potter, is it?

DOORBELL RINGS

Who's that at the door?

Wait!

It's Mr C, the careless crash test dummy.

He has accidents so you don't have to!

Proceed!

Oh, Mr Crash! Oh, don't tell me you've been playing the dummy again!

There's Mr C going for a nice drive. Who's that on the phone?

Aw, it's his mum. But you're not going to answer it, are you, Mr C?

Oh, no, he is!

Meanwhile, there's a gorilla crossing the road up ahead.

Mr C, are you paying attention?

Look out!

Mr C, you never cease to amaze me.

What would James May say?

Tell him, James.

Never ever use your mobile phone whilst driving!

Never ever.

Never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever!

Before driving, turn it off and keep it off!

Thank you, James.

Now, get out, get out, get out, out, out, out!

So, don't be a dummy and stay safe for Sandra.

Straight back into Superskills action,

and it's Team Green, Jamelia and Teja.

Remember, the Blues scored eight earlier so the Greens

are really going to have to go some to avoid the Wash of Shame!

Slow down a bit. Power, power!

Go! Is it in?

Have I done it?

She's scored! It's a great goal.

One for the Greens.

She's got her observation.

She's got her control,

and she's got her... Oh, no.

Oh, a disappointing miss for the Greens,

keeping them on just one goal. Can she get another?

Round, round, round.

She has to square up. Don't hit it too hard now.

-Oh, no!

-You're not in line.

Jamelia's having real trouble

getting the ball in the back of the net.

Still just one goal for Team Green.

I'm going to have to get a lot more than this.

No, babe. You don't worry about it.

We're going to get gunged today!

Ahhhhh! I'm actually shaking!

Whoooh!

Oh, it's a nightmare! That's three misses in a row!

Just one goal for the Greens and only seconds left!

Did we only get one?

WHISTLE BLOWS

Time's up for Jamelia with only one goal scored for the Greens so far!

My legs started shaking, my hands started shaking.

Obviously that meant I was losing control of the car.

And then I was thinking, "Oh, my gosh, I'm letting Teja down."

And it was just all... it was just a shambles!

Teja's in the driving seat with five minutes on the clock

and a mammoth seven goals needed to catch the Blues.

No pressure, then(!)

Don't worry about it, good girl.

Just remember, these children have hardly had any practice.

Try and line yourself up with the ball.

Look at that. Look at the control. Straight up.

Speed. Push, push, push, push. Don't worry.

OK. Right, let's go, you haven't got this one. Go forward.

Teja's gone too wide and the Greens' score still stands at one.

Oh-oh, I think there could be a dummy in trouble here.

Just hit him. Go, go, go, go.

Oh, no! All right.

OK. Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. He's not real.

Come on.

Line up with the ball, no, no, no. Other way, other way, other way.

You said the other way when I was going that way!

Keep going, keep going, keep going. Get it in.

Oh, Teja, just like your mum, failing to get the ball

in the back of the net.

I'm going to be quiet while you line up with the ball

because I messed up last time.

Keep it like that. Keep it like that.

You're beside the ball, Teja.

That's it, that's it, come on! Don't oversteer.

Oh, no!

Has she's missed it completely?!

That's Teja's third miss in a row.

With only a minute left on the clock, it's not looking good.

Right, let's get this one goal at least, yeah?

Hit, hit, hit. Hard, hard, hard.

Let's go. Oh, no!

Aww! A gutting fourth miss!

With only seconds left on the clock, Teja's given up. What a shame!

Teja, I'm really proud of you. Honestly, I'm really...

My mum was a bit annoying because she was

-giving me the wrong instructions.

-So it was your mum's fault?

-Yeah.

So, next up to try their luck it's Debra and Max.

But first, we've got

just enough time to test some more of our Pieway Codes.

This little book tells you everything you need to know

about thinking safely and driving safely on the roads.

Now our teams have been furiously swotting up,

so let's find out how much they really know.

So let's play the Pieway Code.

This is the Pieway Code, a quiz all about the Highway Code.

But get an answer wrong and, you've guessed it, you get pied.

SPLAT!

Ready, folks? You can play along at home.

Today's question is...

They all look the same!

This could be a left turn because it's pointing left

but so could that.

I think it's probably this one.

Ned's gone for the arrow that points up and then to the left.

Max has gone for the same one.

Teja's gone for the arrow that just points left.

But who's right?

Teja! Yes! No pie for you.

Max and Ned, you know what this means.

Oh, no!

SPLAT!

SPLAT!

Well done, Teja. Unlucky, Ned and Max.

You better get swotting up for next time.

Hold on tight for the final Superskills of the day.

And it's Team Orange.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Debra's three minutes has started

and the scores to beat are one goal from the Greens

and eight scored by the Blues.

Oh, yeah, Mum, you're in the groove!

Great team spirit in the Orange car.

Yes, OK, good, good, good.

I'm very impressed so far. I'm VERY impressed.

Nah, I've messed this one up.

Nah, that's rubbish.

Lovely reversing, but just like Jamelia and Teja,

Debra's having trouble getting the ball in the back of the net.

She's OK so far. She's taking it round nicely.

OK, let's get on this green line.

-You missed one!

-No, I haven't missed one.

-Do I have to go round him?

-Yes!

Oh, that's a penalty, then.

Debra's managed to miss out reversing

around one of the defending dummies!

-Nothing I can do about it now. It's too late.

-Go, go, go!

# I got the eye of the tiger

# A fighter... #

It's a goal, but I missed something so never mind, we'll start again.

The ball's in the back of the net but will it count?

OK. We have to go around him.

Max is making sure Mum doesn't make the same mistake twice.

-You're doing OK.

-I can't believe I missed a man.

My heart is beating.

Go for it.

Is it a goal?

Oh, she's hit the post, so the Oranges still with just one goal.

This is much harder than it looks.

There's only five seconds left.

She's going to hit the barrier!

WHISTLE BLOWS

That was so hard...

Half-time for Team Orange

and only one controversial goal to their name.

Sandra will have to decide later whether it counts or not.

It's all on Max now to keep Team Orange safe from the Wash of Shame.

He's got five minutes.

-Slowly does it onto that line.

-Am I on it?

Oh, he's doing well, you know.

-Go!

-Take it easy now.

Max, you superstar!

One for Max and two for Team Orange

but are they safe from the Wash of Shame?

Max really needs at least one more here to make sure he's safe.

Straighten up, darling.

Now go for it!

Goal!

You've done it! We're gunge free!

Awesome goal from Max, putting the Oranges on three,

which means they're definitely safe now.

OK, now get onto your green line and then straighten up.

Oh, he's beautifully controlling that. Look at that.

Now is he going to look round? Yes, he is.

Go for it! Go!

And he's in! He's in for a hat-trick!

Yes!

That's a hat-trick for Max and four for the Oranges. Superb!

Not mine.

Yes, exactly!

Has he got time to get another goal?

Bosh! He is!

You're in! You're a little star!

Another goal? You betcha. Amazing scenes!

That's four out of four for Max making five for the Oranges!

Three more would put them equal with the Blues.

I tell you what, Joe, I'm impressed!

'He's clipped a defender!'

What's the ref going to give him?

-Too much haste!

-A red card.

Don't worry. Start again and don't panic.

He's got it, number five.

Really well done! Really well done!

SCORE!

It's five out of five for Max.

-Go!

-Time's up. Stop the car.

WHISTLE BLOWS

HE BEEPS HORN

Max is out of time but he's done the Oranges proud.

You done amazing! Get in there. You put your mum to shame.

Debra, how do you think he got on? He done really well, didn't he?

He did amazingly well, didn't you? You did well, son.

How did it feel? Did it feel good?

-It felt good, yeah.

-It felt good, yeah.

Debra, unfortunately your goal was disallowed

but it's OK, because little Max held the team together, didn't you?

So, teams, I have to say this is my favourite part of the day.

I can feel the anticipation!

In third place with one goal,

it's Jamelia and Teja.

Well done!

And in second place with five goals,

it's Debra and Max.

Well done, Max.

Debra, you lost one for going off course, I'm afraid.

-So that means, Joe, in first place...

-The winners!

-..with a total of eight goals...

-Amazing!

..it's Rowland and Ned.

Step up! Well done!

Fantastic, boys.

-However...

-What?

-However...

-Hold up.

I have to disqualify you, Rowland.

Again a dangerous, erratic, out-of-control drive.

-That's five goals off.

-No!

So I'm afraid just due to Ned,

that's a total score of three goals,

so that puts you now in second place

and the winning podium position to Debra and Max.

APPLAUSE

The losing team every day in Driving Academy

has to face the Wash of Shame.

However, Rowland, I cannot take any more of your ridiculous driving,

you today will take the Wash of Shame on your own.

Yes! Well done, Sandra.

So after that shock result, the day one leaderboard looks like this.

The Oranges are in the lead with a maximum score of three.

The Blues are second on two

and down in last place, it's the Greens on one.

Coming up on tomorrow's Celebrity Driving Academy...

The kids learn more tricky techniques.

It's all about braking and it's going to be a barrel of laughs!

So Rowland's just about to take today's Wash of Shame on his own.

But who's it going to be next time?

I dunno! You'll just have to tune in and find out.

Anybody want a lift home?