Episode 5 Celebrity Driving Academy


Episode 5

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Transcript


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Driving Academy is back with a bump.

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And, this time, we've added celebrity.

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So mean!

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We've got stars who are disasters in cars, plus their kids

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helping them to become better drivers.

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Our teams will survive four days of crash course driving

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and high octane challenges.

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We've had bumps...

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..spills...

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..crashes...

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and some shocking driving. But now it's judgment today.

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Have our celebrities and rookies overcome their bad habits

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and improved their driving skills enough to become champions

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of Celebrity Driving Academy?

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Hello and welcome to the final day of Celebrity Driving Academy.

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All week, we've been trying to sort out our celebrities' sloppy

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driving habits and now it's time for the big one. The ultimate test.

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The Monster Superskills challenge.

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Just cos it's the last day, I baked you a pie.

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Do you want a little taste? Do you want a little taste, do you?

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Welcome, teams, to the final day of Celebrity Driving Academy.

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-How are you all feeling? Feeling good?

-ALL:

-Yes.

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Yeah!

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Let's have a little look at the leaderboard.

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At the start of the final day, this is how the teams stand.

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The Blues and the Greens are in joint second place with

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eight points each, while the Oranges are one point ahead on nine.

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Each point our teams score today will simply be added

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to their current total. So there's everything to play for.

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As you can see, teams, it's quite close.

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The good thing about today is there will be no gunging

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because today we're playing for the Celebrity Driving Academy Trophy.

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THEY CHEER

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To have any chance of getting their hands on that trophy,

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our teams will be taking on chief examiner

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Sandra's Monster Superskills challenge.

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There are two rounds of challenges

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with a total of ten points up for grabs.

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Round one is worth seven points.

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First, our celebrities will have to drive this, a massive bendy bus.

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For one point, they'll need to steer the bus around these

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tricky slalom barrels without knocking any of them over.

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For another point, complete a three-point turn and park.

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Then, on to our obstacle course with bumps, distractions,

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and the dreaded Ramp of Doom.

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There's a point for each of the five hurdles our teams

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can negotiate while balancing a tray of drinks.

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It's going to be fiendishly difficult.

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You know, my Monster Superskills challenge is designed to put

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people at their optimum, to take them from their comfort zone

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and just stretch them a little bit.

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And take everything they've learned this week at the Driving Academy

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and put it to the real test.

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Oh, and because Sandra's in charge of awarding points,

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she's also going along for the ride,

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so our teams will need to be on their best behaviour.

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First to face Sandra's Monster Superskills

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is Nina and Tia, the Green team,

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or as we've been calling them this week, the Scream team.

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SCREAMING

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Tia has been our youngest driver this week.

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And despite never having driven before,

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she's been the Greens' strongest player, saving the day on more

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than one occasion from scatty mum Nina's driving.

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Nina's the first for the Greens.

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Can she concentrate enough and get the first two points

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of their Monster Superskills challenge? And she's off.

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This is testing how much our celebs have learnt

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about smooth, controlled driving.

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Come on, Nina!

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How big is this bus?

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SHE LAUGHS

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That's the first leg of Sandra's slalom test done.

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Now to get that all-important point she just needs to turn this

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massive lump of metal around and do it all again. Easy!

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100% at the minute. Good driving from your mum. Really good.

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-Yes, she is quite a good driver.

-Well said, Tia.

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Oh, oh, she's caught it!

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She might get away with it. She just might.

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It's all right, that's it, Nina, it's still up, still standing!

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She will! She will!

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No...

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yes!

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Don't I need to go around the outside of it?

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God, this is so confusing.

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Sounds like Nina's losing her focus again.

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Hold tight, everyone.

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-I never knew that my mum could drive a bendy bus.

-Who knew?

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Yep, and even the driver looks please.

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It's an amazing run from Nina.

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Clear through the slalom, earning the Greens their first point.

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Remember, if she can successfully three-point turn the bus,

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she will earn another point. Here she goes.

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-That's the first forward movement.

-I want to reverse now.

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There's the reverse. She's making this look easy!

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-Hold tight, everyone!

-She's done it!

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That's another point on the scoreboard for the Greens.

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-Well done, Nina.

-Superb.

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When I first saw the big bendy bus this morning, my heart sank

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because I thought, it's hard enough doing all these obstacles

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and challenges, so, I thought, "Oh, no!"

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I'm going to be really bad at this. I just got lucky, to be honest.

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Next, it's on to the obstacle course.

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This is safe while driving(!)

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OK, Nina, just relax, enjoy.

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The Greens will get a point for each obstacle

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they can negotiate with at least one drink still intact.

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First, Nina's on the Speed Bumps.

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TIA SCREAMS

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There's a sound we've heard a lot over the last five days -

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Tia screaming!

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-Oops.

-Yes, oops.

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Well, that was an early departure for the drinks.

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-Unfortunately.

-No points for that.

-No points for that one.

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The rules say Nina must complete the course.

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But Tia has no drinks left

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so the Greens can't score on the Ramp of Doom.

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The rookies go next, so it's Tia in the driving seat.

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This time, Nina has to hold the tray of drinks.

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Can Tia take three points here?

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She's on through the first obstacle, the Roundabout.

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Oh, look at that, it's raining.

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That dummy's doing his best to put her off.

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But she's out of the Roundabout, and the drinks are intact.

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-That is a point.

-Super steering.

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Nina is doing an amazing balancing act with the drinks,

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but here comes the Bumps.

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Well done.

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Well done.

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Well done.

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Oh, no, she's stuck on one of those bumps. Be careful, Tia.

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Now the dummies are lending a hand.

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Careful, Tia.

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And there goes the drinks.

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You've got one drink standing, so that's still a point.

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Amazing recovery from Nina there.

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If that last glass is still standing after the rookie-sized

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Ramp of Doom, it will be an incredible three points for Tia.

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That's it, that's perfect!

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-Careful.

-Perfect, fantastic.

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That is incredible. She only learnt to drive four days ago.

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And that's just put the Greens' running total up to 13 points.

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Next, it's Brian and Lucy for the Blues.

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They've been our best and worst team this week.

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Thanks to rookie driver Lucy's amazing skill behind the wheel,

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they've took top podium position twice.

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But also ended up in the Wash of Shame twice.

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So, it's rubbish reverser Brian up first for the Blues.

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-OK, are we sitting comfortably?

-Can he regain his confidence?

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He started by reversing several tonnes of bendy bus.

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No pressure, then, Bri. He's off.

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-Oh, no! What's going on? I think he's stuck.

-Sorry, guys.

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That's a good start, isn't it?

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It seems like your dad got himself in a bit of a pickle here.

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Brian, what are you doing?

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I'm trying to do what I'm supposed to do.

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SANDRA: Any time today, Brian, don't rush or anything(!)

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I don't know what to do.

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I've no idea what to do, ladies and gentlemen.

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Looks like he hasn't given himself enough room to turn. He hasn't.

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He's stuck on the bollards.

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Thank you. Yeah, all right, all right!

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It's my first day, love. It's my first day!

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Luckily, he won't be penalised for that.

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He's finally off on the slalom.

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That's it, there goes a barrel.

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He's only gone and hit the very first one.

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That's no points at the end of the slalom for the Blues.

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But now Brian needs a perfect three-point turn to get

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at least one point for the Blues' score sheet from this round.

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All he needs to do is turn the bus around

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so it's facing the other direction.

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Simple.

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Right, he's starting.

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Reverse.

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Sounds confident. Can he do it?

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-OK, forward.

-It looks like he's stuck again.

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He's turning the other way. Will this work?

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-The front wheels behind you, that's it.

-Yes, he's round.

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That's a point for the Blues.

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-Beautifully turned, Brian.

-Thank you.

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And that's the bendy bus back at the stop. Everybody off!

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Yes, I made it!

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At the beginning of the challenge, I had to reverse the bus back,

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which sounds simple enough, but, then,

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it just fell apart right at the beginning.

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And I think from that moment on, my confidence had gone.

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And, in the end, I couldn't go back any more.

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So I had to go forward, which is why I had to go through the barriers.

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It's the obstacle course next.

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Remember, there's a point for each of the five obstacles

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they can get over without losing all of their drinks.

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Thank you very much. That's made it a lot easier.

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They're off.

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-Oh, sorry, darling.

-No, dad, you did that on purpose.

-I did not.

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I can assure you I did not.

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They're on the Speed Bumps but will this mean a drenching for Lucy?

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Look at that for balance.

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All right, Luce? Well done, that lady.

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ENGINE REVS

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Sorry, darling. Sorry, sorry.

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Oh, spoke too soon.

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I hope there's a launderette nearby.

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I think we can safely put that to one side now.

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Every one gone before you even got near the end.

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So I'm afraid that's "nul points."

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For our English-speaking viewers, that means you ain't got nothing.

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They can't score any more points in this round so

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Brian just needs to complete it.

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It's now Lucy's turn to take the wheel

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and Sandra's in the passenger seat.

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The soggy passenger seat.

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-It's a bit wet.

-I'm going in there, sadly.

-All right.

-I'm sorry, Sandra.

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Lucy's been getting more

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and more confident all week at Driving Academy.

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So she really deserves to take all three points here for the Blues.

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Keep that tray steady, Bri.

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Ooh!

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Brian! What is the matter with you?

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-You've spilt the points all over the seat!

-And we've failed it.

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That was fun, wasn't it? Yeah.

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What a shame.

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It's the end of the round for the Blues.

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Lucy's got to finish the course but can't pick up any points.

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A disastrous round for the Blues means they've only got one point

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so far from today, giving them a running total of nine.

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Is it all over for the Blues? Keep watching to find out.

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OK, back to the action.

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Next up on Sandra's Monster Superskills, it's the Oranges.

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Earlier this week, Tearaway Todd and Turbo Tom ripped up our course

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and two of our cars.

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But rookie Tom calmed down yesterday, helping him

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take top podium position.

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Todd's up first for the Oranges.

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But can he stay in control of our bendy bus, and score some points?

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Remember, he can't afford to knock down even one of our barrels.

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Oh, he looks a bit close to that one.

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The bendy bus is nearly a metre wider than a normal car

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so this is brilliant control of steering from Todd.

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Now, he's got this one on the left to worry about, just to your left, Tom.

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-I think he's got that.

-He has.

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Well done, Todd!

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That's great work from Todd but he'll only pick up a point

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if he can come back without knocking any barrels over.

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-TOM:

-Slow it down.

-Aha!

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Our boy racer has learnt the secret to success isn't speed.

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-Well done.

-Well done, well driven.

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-I'm not sure about this one.

-He's got the measure of this, Joe.

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He's actually driving - I can't believe I'm saying this - safely.

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Safely and skilfully, Sandra.

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This is the tricky one.

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Neatly does it, Todd.

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Here we go, last one.

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Is that one of our cameras falling off? Oi! Dummy! Give that back!

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Stop showing off!

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Director, get back to the driving, please.

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Is he clear? Is he clear? He's clear at the back, yes.

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Clear, it looks like Speedy Todd has become Sensible Todd

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and earnt the Oranges a point on the slalom.

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Well done. Todd, that's one point!

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And the top-notch three-point turn will give them two points.

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Come on, Todd. Keep it together.

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Don't knock over the barrel!

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Good work, Todd. You did it.

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That's two points so far, taking their running total to 11.

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-Well done, Todd!

-Thank you, guys. You have reached your destination!

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That was the drive of the series.

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I have to admit, I was quite nervous this afternoon.

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The pressure really, really does build. You don't realise it.

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It's having the confidence to do it and then parked up

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and thankfully all my passengers are still alive to tell the tale.

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So can Todd keep up his new slow and steady approach?

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And can he pass it onto Tom?

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Remember, this round, there's a point for each obstacle passed

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without losing all their drinks.

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First up, it's the Speed Bumps.

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-Just go straight over now?

-Yeah, a bit quicker.

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-Straight over like this?

-Yes, a bit quicker.

-I'm not going to stop.

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Hang on a minute. Shouldn't they be going slower?

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-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

-Whoa.

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Yeah. There goes the drinks!

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-Any left?

-One left.

-One.

-One left, OK, that's one.

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Oh, that is so wet.

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-Listen, guys, one point.

-I am soaking. Thanks, Dad.

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With one left there's still another point up for grabs.

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Next obstacle. It's only the Ramp of Doom!

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Turbo Todd wrecked our car's engine here on day two.

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This could be a disaster!

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I can hardly watch.

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He's up!

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Blimey, look at that.

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He's balancing our car perfectly on the ramp.

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No-one's ever managed to do that before.

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And he's down safely. What an incredible improvement.

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How many left?

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-One!

-One point!

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A full glass left. Simply superb car control from Todd and Tom there.

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That's an incredible two points for the Oranges on Todd's run.

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Tom's up next. Time to swap seats.

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I'll take care of the drinks, you take care of the driving.

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First rookie obstacle - the Distracting Dummies Roundabout.

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Just cos it's raining, don't forget to steer.

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Nice and smooth, Tom, nice and smooth.

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Whoa, speed freak Tom is taking the roundabout calmly and slowly.

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He's a reformed character.

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The dummies can't even put him off.

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Sandra must be loving this!

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-What a pair of dummies.

-What a pair of doughnuts, eh?

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-My goodness me.

-Call yourself dummies? You definitely are!

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Brilliant!

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All four glasses still full. A cool point there for Tom.

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It's the Speed Bumps next. Another possible point.

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Oh, you keep your eyes on the road, Tom!

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Oh, no! Disaster.

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Keep your eyes on the road, Tom.

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No score there and they can't score on the Mini Ramp of Doom

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but they have to complete the course anyway.

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But it doesn't matter. That's three more points for the Oranges.

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I was so happy when he went on the Ramp of Doom

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and we were in the air but not 'in the air' - we were just there.

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And we slowly went down and I still had the cocktail in my hands.

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And I was just so happy.

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So Todd and Tom have scored five points so far today.

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Let's see what that does to our teams' running totals

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before we hit our final round of Monster Superskills.

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Trailing in last place with only one point scored it's

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the Blues on nine.

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In second place on 13 it's the Greens

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but nudging ahead on 14, it's Team Orange.

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This little book tells you everything you need to know

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about thinking safely and driving safely on the roads.

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Now, our teams have been furiously swotting up

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so let's find out how much they really know.

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So let's play The Pie-way Code.

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This is The Pie-way Code, a quiz all about the Highway Code

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but get an answer wrong and, you've guessed it, you get pied.

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Can I have a cloth, please?

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Ready, folks? Cos you can play along at home too.

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Can our celebrities draw the correct road sign for...

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..cattle?

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Cattle? Last chance.

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Moo! Oh, is that five legs? Oh, dear.

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Sorry. Can I rub that out?

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Come on, guys. Get a moo-ve on!

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It's got a really big bum.

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Oh, it looks like a fat pig.

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OK, time's up.

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There we go.

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And the correct answer looks like this.

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-Nina's got it wrong.

-Oh, no.

-But Brian and Todd are right!

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You know what this means, Nina.

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-Well done, Todd and Brian.

-Yes!

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Nina, that's an udder mess!

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The final stage of our Monster Superskills is for our rookies only

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and it's time to move things up a gear.

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To simulate tricky night driving conditions,

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Sandra's set this part of the course inside the Driving Academy's hangar.

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They'll be facing the Agony Arches, the Penalty Boot Out

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and the fiendishly difficult Car Hole In The Wall.

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It's a bit harsh, isn't it, Sandra?

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They have to steer in different directions to get

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through safely without knocking anything over.

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They then have a little cheeky goal to score in reverse.

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They then have to pick the right hole to go through

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in the shape of a car.

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But which one's the right size?

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It's going to be interesting to see what happens.

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There's a point for each challenge completed successfully.

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First up for the Greens, it's Tia!

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And she's off. Don't forget,

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she needs to get through all three of these arches to earn a point.

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Careful, Tia.

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Is she going to make it?

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Oh, no!

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That's the first arch down, so no points on the arches for Tia

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but she's got to complete them anyway.

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Oh, they've all gone,

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so it's on to the next obstacle, the Penalty Boot Out.

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Can Tia kick the Greens into first place here?

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Back of the net! And dummies like it.

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That's puts the Greens level with the Oranges on 14 points.

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Now she's got to match the car with the hole in the wall.

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One's too low, one's too narrow and one's just right

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but really tight. Which one's she going to go for?

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I'm going to go for the red.

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OK, go on, off you go.

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The red one. And that's the correct choice, Tia!

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Oh.

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Oh, it's tight.

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It's really tight.

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Oh, no, it's too tight. Unlucky, Tia!

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The red one looked a bit higher and a bit wider

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and so I went for that one.

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I think we chose the right one.

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-I think we just got unlucky, didn't we?

-Yeah.

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So just one point in the end there for the Greens

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but that them level overall with the Oranges.

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You've left a path of destruction.

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I think anything you could have knocked down, you did.

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The arches. But you scored a goal.

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High-five!

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Straight back to the action and up next,

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it's Lucy for the Blues.

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If she gets through all three arches without knocking anything over,

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it'll be a much-needed point.

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Timber!

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There goes the first one. No points.

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Go on, Lucy. On to the Penalty Boot Out.

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She's lining up well.

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Strikes.

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Goal!

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-Well done, Luce.

-Oh. What?

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The dummy said no! It's hit the post.

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The Blues will be sick as a parrot. No points.

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Lucy's on to the next obstacle.

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She has to guess which hole's

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the correct size for the car to go through.

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Last chance for a point here, Lucy!

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It's not the white one. The black, the roof's much too low.

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-She's thinking about it.

-Mm, red.

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Red, go on, then.

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Here she goes.

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And take it nice and slow.

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That's looking good.

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Oh, no. She's hit it!

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Well, it was lovely while it lasted.

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Even if she reverses it's still going to fall.

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Oh, no, that's a real shame.

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The Blues score zero for their final round.

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I think we chose the right one. I think Lucy chose the right one.

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Red was right but I just think we came in at the wrong angle.

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You've got to be absolutely positioned correctly

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to get through them clearly.

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So a disastrous final round means from an overall possible ten,

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the Blues only managed a single point.

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They're now totally out of the running.

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-It was really hard. I knocked over one...

-Arch.

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..arch and then I left one, then I knocked over another one.

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Did I get the football in?

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No, no, no, the football didn't go in. No, unfortunately.

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I would give it to you but the ref said it don't count, Luce.

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We think that there's a steward's enquiry on that.

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In our hearts, we know we scored that goal. Lucy scored that goal.

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So this is it. After five days, three teams

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and a big fat garage bill, it's all down to Tom's final round.

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At 14 points apiece, it's neck and neck with the Greens

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so he needs to score at least one point here to nudge

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the Oranges ahead to take the trophy.

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Here he goes for the first attempt at the arches.

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Could he be the first rookie to get through?

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No, he can't.

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Time to kick on to the Penalty Boot Challenge.

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He didn't do too well on day one. Can he pull a goal out of the bag?

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This is nail-biting stuff.

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So he's starting his run-up.

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He's lined up.

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If you're nervous, or a dummy, best look away now.

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It's... It's...

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in! Woo-hoo!

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He's done it. He's only gone and won it for the Oranges!

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The dummies have gone crazy!

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Amazing stuff, Tom.

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And to top it all off, it looks like he's going

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to be the only rookie to get through the Car Hole In The Wall.

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That is fantastic!

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Now they're two points clear. Champions! Champions!

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When I was going through it, I was going really

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slowly in case I bumped any of the sides and knock it all down.

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It's better to go cautious than knocking things down.

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He came here at the start of the week saying all he wanted

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to do was drive fast but it looks like it's Tom's new-found skill

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of driving slowly and under control that's won them the tournament.

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-Are you proud of him?

-I'm proud of him. He did excellent.

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Win or lose, your parents are proud of you.

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-Well done. Well done, Oranges.

-Thanks very much indeed.

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So that was monstrous.

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Let's find out what the final day's points have done to the scores.

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After that nail biting finish, the Oranges have

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taken the lead and the trophy with an incredible 16 points.

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The Greens are in second with 14 leaving the Blues

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trailing in last place on nine. Oh.

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Well, they might be last

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but the Blues have certainly kept us entertained all week.

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Bad influence.

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Lucy, Lucy, it's been a real pleasure watching you drive.

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-Fantastic. Have you enjoyed yourself this week?

-Yeah.

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Brian, stick to cars, forget buses.

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-Oh, yeah.

-Don't look sad. You don't go home empty-handed.

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-We've got a little trophy for you.

-Oh, yes!

-Here we go.

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Here you go, Luce.

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Well done!

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SHE CHEERS

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-Fantastic.

-Thank you.

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Our runners up are the Green team.

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Nina and Tia!

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She was our youngest rookie

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but proved to be our most consistent performer.

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Well done, Tia!

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Tia, fabulous driving.

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I mean fabulous. You're going to be a fantastic driver.

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-Well done, the pair of you.

-Well done.

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Thank you.

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There's only one team left, Joe.

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Champions for the week, it's Todd and Tom!

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Yeah!

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From boy racers to Celebrity Driving Academy champions

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in just five days. Who would have thought it?

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Thank you very much.

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Tom, excellent driving,

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especially today. Brilliant stuff. But how proud are you of your dad?

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He was fantastic!

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-He really was, wasn't he?

-Yeah.

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Over to Joe.

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All right. It's my pleasure to hand to you

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the beautiful Celebrity Driving Academy trophy.

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CHEERING

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Dummies, bring in the bubbly!

0:27:050:27:07

HE CHEERS

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THEY CHEER

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It's been amazing! I think we deserved it.

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Absolutely fantastic.

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It's been a brilliant week and obviously to come away with

0:27:210:27:23

the Celebrity Driving Academy is out of this world.

0:27:230:27:26

We're so chuffed. Absolutely fantastic.

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I mean, you're driving us home, right, when we leave here?

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-Really?

-Yeah, in the sludge car.

-No.

0:27:310:27:33

NINA LAUGHS

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The one thing I've really learned is that she is a star!

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So that's the end of Celebrity Driving Academy.

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And we've had it all.

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We've had skids, we've had bumps, we've had crashes

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but hopefully we've sent all our celebs away safer drivers.

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So till next time, see you then!

0:27:530:27:55

CHEERING

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