Episode 4 Celebrity Driving Academy

Driving Academy is back with a bump!

-And this time, with added celebrity.

-So mean!

We've got stars who are disasters in cars plus their kids,

helping them to become better drivers by joining them

on a one-week crash course behind the wheel...

Comedian Brian Conley and his daughter, Lucy

are top of our leader board after yesterday's trifle triumph...

Ex-Eastenders star Todd Carty came a cropper

on our dastardly Ramp of Doom.

Leaving son Tom not too impressed...

You lost all of them!

..and Team Orange in second place overall...

Funny lady Nina Wadia and daughter Tia

had a day to forget, losing the plot completely,

leaving them in last place, all washed up in the Wash of Shame.

CHEERING

Can our celebs continue to overcome their bad driving habits?

And which team can improve their driving

to become champions of Celebrity Driving Academy?!

Come on, dummies! Get that gate for us!

Cheers, thanks.

Hello, I'm Joe Swash and this is Celebrity Driving Academy.

We've got just one more day left to sort out our celebrities'

dodgy driving habits before they take the ultimate driving test.

The monster Superskills Challenge!

Have you see Dummy? Have you seen Dummy?

Tell him he was meant to pick me up this morning!

Wait till I see him!

-Hello, teams, how you all feeling? Good?

-ALL: Yes!

Welcome to Celebrity Driving Academy on the penultimate day

it's all pretty much still there to play for, let's get motoring!

ALL: YEAH!

Coming up on Day Four at Driving Academy...

Massive donuts as the teams' driving skills are put to the test

in our Skid Stars Challenge.

The more controlled our teams can drive, the more points they'll get.

But first, our rookies need to learn how to drive

in really hazardous conditions.

All week, our rookies have been learning how to drive

with elite driving instructor, Vicky Lovell.

With over 25 years' experience,

she's one of the country's top tutors.

We're well away from the public, on private roads

and Vicky has a set of dual controls,

so our rookies are always in safe hands.

To win today's Superskills,

our teams have to learn to deal with hazardous driving conditions.

We've taught them how to react to hazards,

but what's better still is to spot them coming in the first place

and not be involved in them.

Vicky's starting our rookies off by teaching them

how to cope with the unexpected.

Our lesson today is all about hazards.

Tia's looking well nervous and it's no wonder.

The last thing anyone expects on the road

is two live crash test dummies, armed to the eyeholes

with water balloons!

Here it comes!

Did you just put your hand up when you were driving?

Those dummies are doing their best to put Tia off.

She really needs to concentrate.

Something that mum, Nina, had trouble with on Day 1's test course

Oh, you've completely blown it for me now!

Wait till I get hold of you!

Lucy's next to face the dastardly dummies and they mean business.

Leave me alone!

Unfortunately, "Leave me alone!" doesn't make hazards go away, Lucy!

Dangerous situations can arise at any time,

as dad, Brian, found out yesterday when, carelessly,

he blew out his tyre during the Superskills challenge.

Oh, wow!

Luckily, Brian wasn't going fast, but a burst tyre at speed

can be disastrous and no laughing matter.

Neither is getting pelted by water balloons

by a crazy crew of crash test dummies!

-Look out, Tom!

-Hey, guys!

Straight line towards the blue car.

-You're rubbish!

-Oh, that one wasn't rubbish, was it?

Tom's got it spot on, remaining calm

and keeping his speed in check, which is more than we can say

about his dad, Turbo Todd's performance, on Day Two.

-You were too late!

-Yep.

I told you to stop way earlier than that!

Our rookies are learning to expect the unexpected,

but this lesson's about to be thrown into a spin by this fella.

Jim Hawkins is the go to man

when it comes to training people how to handle lethal road conditions.

He has trained emergency services all over the world,

using the super hi-tech rig you can see attached

to the bottom of the car. So, Jim, how does it work?

What it does, it lifts the car as you're driving it,

so it takes grip away from the car,

so it can simulate you going from a wet road to black ice in seconds.

Our teams will be driving this ACTUAL skid car later on,

so Jim needs to get our rookies up to speed with the right techniques.

What we are going to do first is show you the right way to do it.

OK, and you can pass that onto your parents as well.

What our rookies learn here now, is vital

-to their Superskills success later.

-So, this is nice and steady.

You can see he's got full control there. OK?

What he's going to start to do is now accelerate.

Accelerating, there it goes.

So you can see it doesn't need a lot more,

a lot of acceleration. OK?

What I'm going to do now is show you if we do it wrong, what happens.

OK, so we are going to lose it completely.

My face feels like it's just... I feel like I've had botox!

You don't feel it, because you are going around so fast,

-it's just like, wow!

-It just kept on going round and round and round.

Ew!

Feeling a bit sick is a small price to pay for all those top tips

our rookies will now be able to share with their parents.

Well, the top tip that I got from my daughter

was, "I can't remember anything Jim told me, Mum!"

"Your on your own!" Thanks, Tia!

Well! It's no wonder you can't remember anything, Tia!

I'm feeling sick and I'm not even in the car!

If that wasn't enough to make your head spin, still to come...

Mr C comes a cropper again...

A delicious slice of the Pieway Code quiz...

And today's losers will be taking the Wash of Shame!

Today's Superskill is all about hazards

and how to handle them safely.

Our special skid car has been rigged to behave

as though you are driving in icy conditions.

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

This is Skid Stars!

Our drivers will need to steer this hi-tech skid car

across our games arena, bursting numbered balloons

in the correct order, from one to nine.

Teams get three minutes to complete the course.

That's 90 seconds each, swapping half way through.

As ever, our Chief Driving Examiner, Sandra Dodson,

will be casting a critical eye on all the action.

The people in that car are learning how to control the car

on simulated conditions, such as wet roads and ice.

When you are out in the real world this is a crucial part

of your driving and if you get it wrong, it has tragic consequences.

Cool cornering in icy conditions is vital

and the team to burst the most balloons wins.

It's going to be car-nage all the way!

They're going to take those skills with them

and they are going to respect driving in ice and rain forever.

But before our teams get cracking,

let's have a look at the Leader Board.

The Blues, Brian and Lucy, are in the lead with seven points

and hot on their wheels, in joint second place,

are the Greens and the Oranges with six points each.

It's all to play for!

First up, we have Brian and Lucy. Come on, Blue team!

Go for it. Go on, Luce, a bit more with the accelerator.

Lucy's 90 seconds has started. The pressure's on!

The wheel's turning! I didn't turn it! I didn't turn it!

I know, that's what happens because it's skidding.

But don't worry, turn hard down on my side.

Take it nice and easy and go the other way

And go the other way, go the other way, go, go go go.

Brilliant! Well done, now see if you can turn it round.

One for Lucy.

But shutting your eyes while driving isn't the best idea!

Now the tough bit, turning the car

and getting lined up for the next balloon.

You are heading over to number two. Turn it even harder your way.

-Dad, you don't understand my fear.

-I know, darling, you are skidding.

-Only 35 seconds left...

-A little bit my way

-Dad, I think...

-A little bit my way,

Brilliant, you are on it, number three. Turn round, Luce.

She's doing very well so far.

-And we are...

-'Eight seconds'.

So, go on, Luce, turn round.

-Oh, I think I might...

-No, that's fine, it's skidding, isn't it?

-Well done, accelerate, accelerate.

-No, I don't want to accelerate!

-You'll be fine, you can do it.

-I just want to go!

You've got 15 seconds, see if we can get this.

Black ice and speed isn't a good combination, Bri!

You're doing really well, darling.

Five, four, three, two...

-Yes!

-One!

She's made it!

Well done! Lucy, you done it, you got three!

I was really proud of you, you really coped well.

It was quite scary, because when I started,

I thought, "I'll just go slow and it will be OK."

The Blues have three balloons at half time.

90 seconds now for Bri to try and increase their score.

Can Dangerous Bri become Cautious Conelly'?

Wa-hey! Here we go!

-That'll be a no then.

-Up to his tricks!

Oh, dear, get out the way, get out the way, get out the way...

-That's number four over there.

-Sing a happy song...

Oh dear, I'm going to have a spin...

No different to your normal driving. No, just kidding, just kidding!

He needs to chill out on that accelerator.

Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!

60 seconds left!

We barely even started!

Well done! Finally, Brian's got a grip!

That's four, but the seconds are sliding away.

Oh, I've stalled it.

Let's sing a song, Dad. Oh la, la, la, la...

It's like Car-mageddon out there!

Brian's wasting loads of time by trying to rush it.

Oh, blow, I can't even get anywhere NEAR it!

# Happy birthday to... #

-Look, no hands!

-Don't take your hands off the wheel!

Do you not know ANYTHING?

It's not big and it's definitely not clever!

-He's having trouble...

-Come along, Brian!

-..getting his car on under control.

-I think you are enjoying yourself!

Five for the blues and time's almost up.

-Five, four...

-Oh my gosh!

-Three, two, one.

-SIREN BLARES

'Time's up.'

I know it's up, but I just want to do it again!

Three balloons for Lucy and two for Brian,

-making five for the Blues.

-Here comes Joe Swash.

What's happening, what's going on there?

-Eh, it's difficult...

-Is it a lot harder than it looks?

It is, you want to go that way, but the car's going that way.

I have to say that's the most I've enjoyed,

I really, really enjoyed that.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Luce, how was it for you?

-It was the best task yet, I think.

-Was it the best task?

-That was a lot of fun.

-Who got three?

-You got three.

-Who got two?

-You got two, so you won! You beat Daddy!

-Oh my!

-Get in there! Loser, loser!

-I feel I'm very proud of myself.

-I'm very proud of yourself.

-I'm proud of you, too.

-Oh, thank you.

And I think out of all of them, that's the funnist one yet.

The funnist one, is it? Is that an actual sentence, is that real?

-The funnist?

-Yep.

-Oh.

-Well done, Blue team.

Right, next up we have Nina and Tia, but first, has anyone seen Sandra?

-Have you seen her?

-No.

-We keep losing her. No.

I bet Sandra's in her office.

Yep, there she is, testing out the latest in driving technology.

Oh, yes!

SANDRA IMITATES ENGINE NOISE

Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

Wait!

Ah, it's Mr C, the Driving Academy's chief crash test dummy.

He has accidents, so you don't have to.

Proceed.

Oh, in the wars again, Mr C! Explain yourself, dummy!

There's Mr C out on his bike.

Wait a minute, there's two on that bike!

There's some rocks on the road!

And smash!

But what did he do wrong?

You really are a Class A dummy, Mr C!

And not a helmet between you!

Really! What would James May say?

I bet James May would have some awesome advice.

Tell him, James.

It's silly and dangerous to carry a passenger on your bike.

Unless?

Unless the bike has been specially modified or designed to carry two.

Great advice, James!

Now, get out! Just get out!

Don't be a dummy like Mr C and stay safe for Sandra.

Back to the Superskills action with Team Green, Nina and Tia.

-Good luck, Green team!

-Come on, Tia!

Remember, they only have a minute and a half each

to better the Blue team's score of five.

Tia's 90 seconds starts now!

Remember the Wash of Shame!

How can yesterday's losing team forget their messy forfeit?

The Greens need to get a grip in the slippery conditions

-if they want to keep clean today.

-Go, Tia, go as fast as you can.

Put your foot down more, accelerate more, sweetheart.

-Oh, she's going wide!

-Come on!

-Good girl, you can do it.

Now, can you see how she's sliding and slipping?

Can you imagine these conditions on a motorway?

Oh, has she got it? Yes!

One for Tia, but she's turned too quick!

Slow down, slow down. To the right, to the right, Tia, to the right.

-I CAN'T!

-OK, turn right, sweetheart.

-I can't!

-You can.

-You're doing it!

-Mummy I am, I am!

OK, don't panic, it's OK, sweetheart.

-You are telling me everything!

-Sorry, sorry, calm down.

-It's getting tense in the Green car.

-You are doing really well, Tia.

Taking your time cornering is key to keeping control

-That's two.

-Brilliant, go round the outside, Tia,

round the outside. OK, never mind, never mind.

Right down to the front, round the outside

and get to number three across there, the gold one.

You are doing very well, Tia, good girl.

Ice cool cornering, Tia! That's how it SHOULD be done!

-OK, go for three, line it up.

-25 seconds left.

Go on, Tia, go, go, go.

Go on, Tia!

-Well, she's going for Lucy's record.

-You can do it, you can do it.

Yes, OK, careful.

Very good, Tia, go for four, do it.

Just put your foot down, do it, do it, do it.

She's got three, but time's running out.

-Can she make it?

-You can do it, go, go, go!

She's there!

She got it last minute, didn't she? Last seconds.

Tia, the champion!

Well done, baby girl, wooh!

Well done, Tia, that's four balloons!

I had to stay in first gear and I didn't...

and I wasn't turning the wheel too much and went nice and slow.

Steady, controlled driving from Tia has bagged Team Green

four balloons so far. Scatterbrain Nina's got 90 seconds now.

She needs at least two balloons to take the lead.

Now, it's Nina's turn, good luck, Nina!

-Go on, Nina!

-Wow!

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

-Mummy!

-I'm going to go round this way, yeah.

Oh, my God!

She's overcooked it!

OK, Mum, take it easy, take it easy.

Nina needs to listen to Tia if she's going to get back on track.

She's only got 60 seconds left.

She only needs to get one balloon to equal the Blues.

Tia's advice is working, but only 40 seconds are left.

-Go for it!

-Thanks, my love.

Come on!

Well done, Nina!

That's five for the Greens and some controlled cornering from Nina

when it counts. Can she get six to take the lead?

She's keeping it steady, she's keeping it steady.

She's keeping it steady

Bang on, but she's rushing it!

She's going to have to go some to make it seven!

SCREAMING

Seven, six, five...

Come on, Mum!

It's too close to call!

Come on! No gunging today!

-Did you enjoy that?

-I loved that so much!

-You enjoyed it, didn't you?

-Where's my little girl? Woohoo!

Well done, guys. So, Tia, you burst four balloons,

congratulations, that's the most so far.

How many did you burst?

I don't know, I don't know if I made it on number seven.

Well, if zero counts, I made it because I heard five, four,

three, two, one and then pop!

Smile for them, Smile for them, they might give it to us.

-I've got a feeling seven never counted.

-Aw!

You were just out of time but well done so far.

It puts you into the lead, so you are in a good position.

-No gunging today, guys!

-Yes!

Next up, we have Todd and Tom,

but first we've got enough time for a juicy slice

of the Pieway Code.

This is the Pieway Code, a quiz all about the Highway Code,

but, get an answer wrong and you guessed it, you get pied.

Can I take it off?

Ready, rookies? And remember, you can play along at home, too.

What does this common road marking mean?

Here's a clue. The answer is two words.

The first word has four letters, The second has three.

Can you fill in the blanks?

OK. Time's up.

Lucy's written "Triangle". WRONG!

Tia's gone for "Only one". WRONG!

And Tom's written "Love dog". HE'S RIGHT!

Just kidding, he's wrong, too!

The correct answer is, of course, "Give way".

You know what this means.

Bad luck Lucy, Tia and Tom.

You need to get swatting up on your Pieway Code.

Hold tight for the last Superskills of the day!

It's Team Orange with Todd and Tom!

Tom's up first.

90 seconds on the clock and a whole lot to do.

The Greens lead with six, the Blues have got five.

The boys need at least six here to avoid the Wash of Shame!

Go on, Tom!

I think Tom's going to do really well because he's determined.

Look at him.

Ice cool Tom is keeping the car under control.

-There goes balloon number one.

-Well done, well done, Tom.

A minute left and he's got balloon two in his sights.

He is doing very well. He's got a determined look about him.

Where's that, where's that...?

Two for Tom. Well done, Tom!

Here's the hard part, turning round.

Mind that balloon now, don't hit that balloon.

Take your time, Tom, just steer it round.

Straight in front of you, nice and easy, off you go.

Nice and straight.

'10 seconds to go.'

-Time's running out.

-Here you go, Tom.

-That's three!

-Where's number four?

This is incredible controlled cornering.

Down you go, nice straight line, nice straight line.

Get this, it'll be fantastic.

It's going to be tight. Go on, Tom!

Four, three, two, one!

SIREN BLARES

Oh, well done, mate, good job there. I think you got that one.

Did he get it? I'll have to consult Sandra.

After watching the replay, Sandra's disallowed Tom's balloon four.

I thought I could get four really easily,

because it was 90 seconds but it turns out

I was like one second off and didn't get it.

Disappointing for Tom but a great display of controlled driving,

giving Team Orange three balloons at the half way stage.

Our dummies have reset balloon four.

Turbo Todd's only got 90 seconds to pop the three balloons

he needs to avoid the Wash of Shame.

That's number four at second time of asking but they still need two more!

Hold up! This isn't like Turbo Todd!

He's keeping the speed slow and steady!

If he keeps his control, he can do this.

So this is five to draw with Brian and the Blue team, Brian and Lucy.

Here we go.

That's five!

Level with the Blues and just under a minute to go!

He needs to make number six to draw with Nina.

Oh, he's keeping control, now he's being sensible today,

I'm very pleased to say, so far.

OK, number six, it's an equal top now.

Yes!

He needs to get number seven to go into the lead.

-Where's Seven?

-How's he doing on time? Oh! He's losing it!

-30 seconds left.

-Go on, Todd!

-Slow down, Dad.

-He's got to keep it steady to get this last point!

He's going to do it!

He's done it! Top score for Team Orange!

What are you doing?

He's at it again look at him, what a doughnut!

I knew he couldn't resist it.

Nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four, three, two, one!

SIREN BLARES

Time's up and that's seven balloons for Team Orange,

putting them ahead of the Greens on six

and the Blues totally out of control with five.

Congratulations, how was that for you, you done well there?

Is it harder, is it harder than it looks?

It is harder than it looks. I have a tendency to have a heavy foot.

I just wanted to do a little victory roll there.

-Well, how was it for you?

-It was great, it was fantastic.

Was that one of your most enjoyable challenges you've had to do?

-I liked the football one.

-The football one's still your favourite?

My heart was pumping like a machine gun because we didn't want that

dreaded green and black gunge coming down on us at the end of the day.

I'm happy that he got four because now I'm not angry about yesterday.

Well done, Orange team.

So, I think it's time to count up those all important balloons

and see what the results are.

It's been a good day today, Joe, it's been a really good day.

-She's pleased.

-We have the results.

-Hey, hey!

-Hey, hey!

In third place with five balloons, it's Brian and Lucy.

-Oh!

-Come on!

You're getting gunged!

Lucy! Driving on ice, such control!

You were really, really good, unlike Funtime Brian.

Dangerous Brian.

Anyway, moving on and it's very tight at the top.

In second place, just one second short...

-One second?

-To the seventh balloon with six,

goodness, gracious me, Nina and Tia!

CHEERING

Tia! Four balloons all on your own that's joint top score!

And Nina, terrific show today, absolutely superb driving.

-There's only one team left, isn't there?

-Yeah, there is indeed,

with a score of, and I can't believe I'm saying this.

-Go on, tell me.

-An amazing seven balloons, it's Todd and Tom.

Thank you very much, thank you very much, thank you very kindly.

-In your own time, Todd.

-Well done, Todd and Tom, first place.

Tom, fantastic as usual, brilliant piece of driving, well done.

Todd, you used your head. You showed that you can drive with control

and constraint, you've just got to do that tomorrow,

throughout the day, otherwise, you could lose it for your team,

-so, yeah, promise?

-I promise, I promise, I cross my heart.

Don't make promises you can't keep, Todd! Sandra, she'll have ya!

Todd and Tom's impressive seven balloons

gives them the maximum three points bringing their total score to nine.

Nina and Tia's six balloons gives them two points,

bringing their total score to eight.

And Brian and Lucy's five balloons means only one point for them,

leaving them tied with the Greens on eight.

It's still all to play for on tomorrow's epic final day,

when our teams face the ultimate test,

the Monster Superskills Challenge!

There's going to be thrills, spills and with a massive ten points

up for grabs, it could turn our leaderboard on its head!

Also on tomorrow's show...

The chaotic Mr Crash lives up to his name!

And one of our teams will lift the Celebrity Driving Academy trophy!

Who'll be the champions?

I don't know, but what I do know is, right now,

the Blues are going to get gunged, yes, you heard me, gunged!

Lovely jubbly!

SCREAMING AND CHEERING

-That was right in my lap!

-I love this job!