Episode 3 Celebrity Driving Academy

Driving Academy is back with a bump. And this time with added celebrity.

So mean!

We've got stars who are disasters in cars,

plus their kids, helping them to become better drivers

by joining them on a one-week crash course behind the wheel.

Comedy actress Nina Wadia and daughter Tia

spent day two screaming their way through the braking challenge

and finished in first place.

CHEERING

Tia, that's amazing!

Brian and Lucy's new-found confidence won them the challenge,

putting them into second spot.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

Ex-EastEnders star and boy racer Todd Carty

and his son Tom smashed their way into joint second.

I did tell you to stop. That was rubbish.

And they ended up taking the Wash of Shame.

There's still two days of crash course driving

and high octane challenges to go.

Can our celebrities overcome their bad habits?

And which of our teams can improve their driving

to become champions of Celebrity Driving Academy?

Hello, I'm Joe Swash,

and welcome to day three of Celebrity Driving Academy.

We're here to sort out our celebrities' dodgy driving

and general bad behaviour on the roads

because, at the end of the week,

they'll be facing the fiendishly difficult

Monster Superskills Challenge!

He's driving me bananas, he is. Come on!

Welcome back to Driving Academy, guys.

It's day three. Are we all feeling good?

ALL: Yeah!

I'm looking forward to another splendid day

here in the Driving Academy.

Let's get things going. Shall we get the show on the road?

-ALL: Yeah!

-Shall we get this show on the road?

-ALL: Yeah!

-Let's do this!

Coming up on day three, our rookies and parents

are tested on their car control in the Superskills Trifle Challenge.

The more skilful and smooth they drive, the more points they'll get.

But, first, our rookies need a lesson.

Today's lesson is all about controlling the car

as smoothly as possible.

In charge is elite driving instructor Vicky Lovell.

She's just the woman to teach our rookies all about road safety.

It's really important that we teach the children really good car control

so they realise how difficult car control can be for their parents

maybe out on the real roads.

But don't worry - we're well away from the public, on private roads,

and Vicky has a set of dual controls,

so our rookies are always in safe...feet.

Our dummies have designed a tough test of car control -

the mini Ramp of Doom.

The rookies have to control the clutch, accelerator and brake,

wait for the heart-stopping tip, and then they can drive off.

First up is boy racer Tom.

Little bit of revs to climb the hill.

There's a surprise - Tom's being asked to speed up!

We haven't got any revs, so it won't go up.

-He's on, he's on, and he's off.

-Well done.

I didn't realise. I thought I was going to break the whole car.

That's exactly what can happen if you go over the ramp too fast

so, Tom, you need to be careful.

Whoo-hoo!

That was awesome that time. That time it was so good.

No broken car this time, but with dad Todd also being a speed lover,

these two need to slow down

if they want to do well in today's challenge.

Oh, wow!

Lucy's dad, Brian, struggled with reversing on day one,

but was "Confident Conley" yesterday.

And that confidence also rubbed off on Lucy.

But she still needs to work a bit on controlling the car.

-Keep going.

-God, that scared me.

There you go.

And her face muscles!

VICKY LAUGHS

This is not funny! How can you laugh?

That is the best "Serious Lucy" face I've ever seen.

I can't do serious.

Cos you can't see what's going on, it just randomly catches you.

You just go...and it's, "Oooh!

"Ooh, I'm going down, I'm going down."

Tia paid attention yesterday and saved scatty Nina from the gunge.

But Tia still seems timid about controlling the car today.

-Ready?

-Ahhhhhhhh!

Just as she's getting more confident,

something comes along and bursts her bubble.

Or more precisely, her tyre.

AIR HISSES

-I flattened the tyre.

-Sounds like it. What did you hear?

The tyre burst.

So, will you turn off the engine and go and have a look?

How did you feel about ruining one of the Driving Academy cars?

Er, sorry for the cars.

NINA LAUGHS

-I hope we don't have to pay for it!

-Do we?!

-I don't know.

Today's Superskill is going to be a trifle difficult,

with a giant pudding, plus a giant ramp.

That must mean only one thing. A gigantic mess!

This challenge is all about smooth car control.

Each car must complete our obstacle course

with a bowl of trifle on the roof,

and we all know what's in trifle - cherries.

There's hundreds of cherries spread all over the course,

mainly in the big bowl of trifle, but also in our smaller bowls.

Our teams have to control the car through the tight gaps,

over the bumps and ramps,

keeping as many cherries as they can in the pudding - simple.

Well, not that simple.

Whoever keeps the most cherries ends up on the top of the podium.

Oh, but don't forget - whoever loses today

will face the gunge and grime of the dreaded Wash of Shame.

Casting a strict eye over all the proceedings

will be the Academy's super-strict examiner, Sandra Dodson.

She wants this challenge to make our drivers think.

Over humps, over ramps, through barrels.

It's a very, very tricky challenge.

Before our teams face the Trifle Challenge,

let's have a look at the leaderboard.

After day two's action...

First up, it's the Orange Team, and it's 12-year-old Tom.

Both him and his dad love to speed,

but they'll need to slow things down today.

Tom's started sensibly. I'm impressed. Nice, Tom.

He's now approaching the first set of bowls in the chicane.

Each bowl contains two cherries.

Now, if you encounter a hazard on this

and you think you're going to knock something over

then use your sense, reverse and reposition.

'Tom's getting awfully close.'

Oh, here goes the first trifle.

'Oh, no! It's "cherry-o" to those cherries.'

You missed that one. Well done, Tom.

He's past the first chicane. Next obstacle - the hump.

-Get some revs going. Right hand.

-More revs.

-Go on, mate.

That's good going. He's not lost a cherry off the top yet.

He's past the next two bowls and on to the roundabout.

Well done, mate! You're not going to knock anything down here.

Thomas.

You're not going to knock anything down here.

You need to go slowly, cos we have stuff on the roof.

Oh, course. I forgot. What a doughnut I am!

So, with a doughnut in the car and a pudding on top,

next up, the trifley tricky barrels.

No problems through the first ones.

-What are you doing?

-Which way?

-Come back a bit, reverse.

He's taking his time to get through to the second set, though.

-But, as usual, Todd's in a rush.

-Come on, come back.

I'm coming! I'm going as quick as I can!

Tom's going for the slow and steady approach - he's learning.

-Oh, yes!

-Yes!

-Yes!

CHEERING

And it's paying off.

He's through the barrels and onto the junior speed bumps.

-Whey!

-Don't worry about them,

Let's see that again. On me head, son!

There's some balls dropping, but so far, there's no red ones.

Oh, spoke too soon!

Now he's onto the Ramp of Doom.

SANDRA: It's difficult. You have to take a certain speed,

otherwise you won't get up.

Keep it as straight as a die.

Power, power, power.

Power, power, clutch.

You know what they say - what goes up must come down.

And that includes the balls. But, amazingly, there's no red ones.

Slow and steady wins the day for Tom.

There's a little spill on the bumps,

but it looks like the cherries stayed in the trifle

-over the Ramp of Doom.

-More revs, more revs, more revs.

I was going round the roundabout and he was going, "Quick, quick."

And I was just like, "No, there's a trifle on top."

He was like, "What? What? What trifle?"

Next, it's Todd, and can he match Tom's almost faultless round?

Thomas was so upset yesterday. I just want him to do well.

The bowls and barrels are not replaced for the grown-ups

if they're knocked down by the kids, so Tom's made this easy for Todd.

Todd zips through the chicanes and he's on to the roundabout.

OK, slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down.

Tom's slowing his dad down here. That's good work.

-Do you reckon I should go straight through that way?

-Slow, slow.

He's now going through the barrel slalom.

More good work here from father and son.

Am I all right on your side?

You tell me. You're my eyes on that side.

-Are you sure I'm all right your side?

-Right now you are.

-What about that mirror?

-Yeah, the mirror's fine.

I think we're through, I think we're OK, Tom-Tom.

-Am I all right?

-Yeah you're fine.

-And now it's the adult speed bumps.

Watch the balls, here come the balls! Wahey! Here they come!

Oh! Oh, Tom! How many am I losing?

That's a bit fast. There go the cherries!

Oh, Dad, that was awful.

-Oh, well, what can you do?

-Do better than that.

This is where we lose most of them now, Tom.

Surely he's going to slow down for the Ramp of Doom?

'Oh, no. My goodness! What's that noise?

'It's not just cherries on the floor. Half our car's there too!'

That car don't sound too healthy!

'Let's have a look at this again.

'I think this is the moment the car meets the concrete.

'Anyone know a good garage?'

-You lost all of them! You're so bad!

-I didn't lose all of them.

'Thankfully, Tom seems to be taking it well.'

Listen to the car. I think he's actually broke our car.

All the cameras have come off.

-What happened there with the Ramp of Doom?

-I don't know.

-What was that?!

-You think you hit it a bit hard?

-I might have.

I thought I'd just let it go.

That old boy racer came back inside me again.

-I did good.

-How do you think your dad done?

-Terrible.

So, while our dummies take away the car to be fixed,

our judges have counted the cherries and we can reveal

Team Orange have held on to 61.

Right, next up we have Brian and Lucy.

But, first, has anybody seen Sandra? Have you lot seen Sandra?

ALL: No.

I'm definitely going to have to put a bell on that lady.

I bet she's in her office, isn't she? What's she doing?

Oh, I love swimming.

It keeps my mind clear. I can focus on road safety.

DOORBELL RINGS Oh!

Wait!

There's Mr C, the chief crash test dummy.

He has accidents so you don't have to.

BELL DINGS

Proceed.

Oh, Mr Crash.

Oh, really, Mr C!

I can't even imagine what you've done this time.

TINNY MUSIC PLAYS

There's Mr C, riding his bike, listening to his headphones.

What could possibly go wrong?

That car wants to get by and Mr C isn't even aware it's there.

-Don't turn, Mr C! Don't turn!

-TYRES SCREECH

Oh, no.

Mr C, is there no limit to your stupidity?

What would James May say?

I wonder what James May WOULD say.

Tell him, James.

Never listen to music on headphones while riding a bike.

-And...

-And always look behind you before making kind of turn.

Thank you, James.

Remember that in future, Mr C. Now, get out. Go on.

Back to our Superskills competition. Now it's the turn of the Blues.

They were rubbish at reversing on day one,

but superb at stopping yesterday,

so which Blue Team will turn up today?

It's Lucy first.

Go on, Luce. So, just take your time, darling.

Wise words from a calm and confident Brian.

So, there's 100 cherries

and the aim of the game is to come back with the most cherries.

Hard.

Hard. Nice and still. Bit too fast.

OK.

Oh, dear, that's bowl's bowled over

and two cherries are down for the Blues.

She needs to straighten up before she continues.

Brake. Nice one.

So, she's managed to get herself in a better position, I think.

Yes, she's readjusted.

-That's it - hard, hard, hard.

-Oh, dear! That's another bowl down.

That's at least four cherries that they've lost now.

We're still OK.

She's having no problems with the roundabout

and now it's on to the barrels.

These obstacles need a light touch,

but she's being a little bit heavy on the accelerator.

-Slow, slow, slow. Brake, brake, brake.

-Oh!

'Oh, no! She's knocked over another bowl.'

Let's not worry about that one.

The bowl is still there, but I think the cherries have gone.

-Can I do up the window?

-No, you're fine.

-Off we go.

Why do you want to do up the window?

Because I don't want Ping-Pong balls coming in.

Ping-Pong balls will not hurt.

There goes another one.

'I'd be more worried about the balls on the floor, Lucy.

'She gets through the rest of the barrels with no problem.

'Next, it's the mini speed bumps.'

-And gently through these.

-Just keep driving.

-Yep.

-Best way to go through these.

Yeah. Just keep driving, but nice and gently. Not too hard.

-To the right.

-Yeah, to the right.

Ooh, a few went there, boys!

'A few cherries overboard there,

'but now it's on to the Ramp of Doom.'

SANDRA: Well, the strategy is, really,

to keep it as controlled as possible.

Watch the crash test dummy. He's going to guide you in.

I have to say, I don't think anybody watching this

will know how difficult this is.

Nice and easy. So, keep coming straight.

-And now we're going to take this nice and easy.

-Can I...?

She's at tipping point.

And she's over! But I don't see very many reds.

Well done, darling. That is really good. Lovely.

Great round from Lucy there.

She tipped over a couple of baskets early doors,

but kept her cool on the Ramp of Doom.

I was worried about getting hit by Ping-Pong balls.

We should have really had crash helmets on.

You've got Ping-Pong balls flying about.

-They could have killed us, couldn't they?

-Stop teasing me!

-You're just like...

-I wouldn't do that, would I?

OK, Brian's next.

Go on, Bri! 'Go on, then, Bri.'

-Take the handbrake off. It might help!

-'Come on, Bri!'

HORN HONKS

'Oh, dear! Is that a sign of over-confidence?'

-There he goes.

-NADIA:

-Look where you're going!

SANDRA: He's looking confident. A bit cheeky. Hands on the wheel.

-That's it.

-It's a whisker away there, Sandra.

-Oh, yes!

Oh, very nicely done.

'He's through the chicane like a professional.'

Yeah, all right, Mr Crash Test Dummy.

Don't you worry about that. I know what I'm doing.

-They really put you off.

-Yeah.

He's round the roundabout and on to the barrels.

-Do it gently, though.

-Yeah.

-Is that all right?

-Oh, yeah, no, that one.

Just move that out the way, thank you.

-Does that count as a point?

-No, I don't believe it does.

That's a clever move.

He's nudged the barrel that Lucy knocked over out of the way.

Next, the adult speed bumps.

Right, let's rock'n'roll. Let's go over these things.

See if I can take it a bit easier than my mate Todd.

-I'm happy with that.

-Gotta make them... Put them off.

I'll do weird faces and it puts them off.

It looks like he's going to get through without any balls lost.

I'm determined not to rush this.

Oh, a couple of balls off there,

but he's nearly finished with the bumps.

Well done, Bri.

'Just the last one to clear.

'That's an odd angle.'

AIR HISSES Oh, well...

We've got a puncture!

-Don't move, don't move, don't move.

-Don't move.

Blow out! Oh, what's going to happen here?

I think we need a pit stop. Bring on the pit team!

So, it looks like the dummies

have done a good job on changing the tyre.

-Don't you think?

-Oh, what! That's like a Formula 1 pit stop, Joe.

Come on, dummies. We've got to get on with this.

So, the car's ready again,

but will that blow out flatten Brian's confidence?

We are back in the race, ladies and gentleman.

And here we go. It's the Ramp of Doom.

Doom, doom...

BOTH: Doom, doom, doom.

Check your seat belts, ladies and gentleman.

Next, the Ramp of Doom.

Let's just hope Brian don't do a Todd. We've only got one car left.

He's on. He's slowly getting up.

-Why are we going up so high?

-Don't worry, darling.

We're going to fall, we're going to fall.

-No, we're not.

-Yeah, we are.

Yes, you are!

-ENGINE REVS

-Careful with that clutch.

If you were wondering what a clutch is,

it's the pedal you use to control the car at low speeds.

If you were wondering what that smoke is,

that's the clutch burning up.

-Tyre smell... Eurgh!

-Clutch, clutch.

-Go on, Luce.

-He's up.

-It had better not be bad.

-Hold on to the door, Luce.

And he's off, and not many cherries lost.

I think that was it.

I've got to get out of here. It smells, like, disgusting.

That was a great round there from Brian.

Unlike Todd, he stopped as the ramp moved

and then moved as the ramp stopped.

That's the secret to keeping the cherries in your trifle.

Oh!

I have to say,

I don't think I've ever seen anyone go over the Ramp of Doom

and lose so few cherries.

-Oh, thank you very much. Bless you.

-Well done.

-God bless you.

So, we've had a count-up, and at the end of that run,

the Blues managed to keep an amazing 80 cherries in the bowl,

putting them into the lead.

Well, that run was anything but boring. We had a tyre burst.

-So, well done, Blue Team.

-Oh, thank you very much.

Give yourselves a pat on the back. Congratulations.

So, next up, we have Nina and Tia.

First, we've got just enough time

for a juicy, tasty little slice of the Pieway Code.

This little book tells you everything you need to know

about thinking safely and driving safely on the roads.

Now, our teams have been furiously swatting up,

so let's find out how much they really know.

So, let's play the Pieway Code.

This is the Pieway Code quiz - it's all about the Highway Code.

Get an answer wrong, though, and, you guessed it, you get pied.

-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

-Can I have a cloth, please?

Ready, celebs? And you can play along at home, too.

Can our celebrities draw the correct road sign for...

Wild animals.

I don't know. I really don't know.

Aww, antlers!

That looks like a vampire to me, Todd.

I've never seen this sign in my life.

A reindeer from Nina.

A signed piece of my work.

-Nina's got it right.

-Whoo-hoo!

Unlucky, Todd and Brian. Better luck next time.

Ah! Yes, that's the English version.

-I'm going to get pied, aren't I?

-Shall we?

-Thank you.

HE COUGHS

Well done, Nina. Brian and Todd, you'd better swot up for next time.

Finally, it's the Greens.

Tia burst a tyre earlier on,

so can she keep her mind in gear this afternoon?

Remember, 80 is the score to beat.

But 62 or more cherries is enough to avoid the gunge.

She's a bit fast through the slalom.

Safely past the first bowl.

Slow down, slow down! Tia, slow down, slow down!

-But she's hit that one.

-Oh, Tia! It's OK. You're doing really well.

Now, remember to go left, so you go round the roundabout.

Oh, that seems to have distracted her.

It's OK, Tia. Don't worry about it.

You're doing very well, baby girl. Very well. Good girl.

Remember, there's balls on top of the car too, so slow, OK?

Are there? Oh, yeah!

How can you forget there's a massive bowl of trifle on the roof?!

She's through the roundabout. Next, on to the barrels.

-I'm going to go... OK, now it gets really serious.

-OK.

Oh, it's a bit tight.

SHE SCREAMS

Tia needs to calm down. Whatever happened to timid Tia?

Nnnnnnh!

And "Naughty Nina", she's getting serious, too.

-Ignore the dummies, my love.

-Sorry.

-Ignore the dummies?

I think they're trying to help. Well, apart from the dancing one.

Steer to the right a little bit.

To the right. Slow down, slow down...

OK, doesn't matter, doesn't matter.

Oh, there's another one down!

Turn your wheel to the left. It's OK. You're doing well.

Keep going left, and look forward. Don't knock these two.

-Very slow, Tia, very slow.

-Ahhh!

But that one's staying put. Now it's over to the speed bumps.

Very slow. Well done!

Slower, Tia, slower.

Gently, gently, gently.

Ah! There go the balls. But there's still some cherries in there.

She now has to negotiate the mini Ramp of Doom.

Now, remember, she did burst that tyre this morning in practice,

so she may be a bit nervous.

Good girl. This is nice. This is lovely.

'The tension is really on Tia now.

'She's got to forget about the burst tyre she had earlier on

'and focus on the Ramp of Doom.'

Well done, Tia! Well done!

Perfect!

Brilliant! I think she's kept them all in the bowl.

Excellent, good girl.

Go, Tia! Go, Tia!

ALL: Go, Tia. Go, Tia. Go, Tia.

-BRIAN:

-Yeah!

'It's Nina's turn now.'

Nee-nah! Nee-nah!

ALL: Nee-nah! Nee-nah! Nee-nah! Nee-nah!

-That's so mean.

-She's into the slalom.

OK, how close am I to you, sweetheart?

-OK. You're OK on this side.

-I am?

Oh, getting a bit close. Mum, you're getting a bit close.

-Am I?

-Yes, yes, yes! Ah!

Should I go, Tia, or back off?

Oh, no! Mummy, Mummy, no, no! Mummy, no.

-That's good, that's good.

-Turn right. Turn right!

Ooh, that looks very precarious.

Two again by the back wheel! Ahhh!

Would you back up?!

But, amazingly, it's not fallen.

-I can't believe that.

-Look, she's got through it!

-Oh, my God!

-That's the stuff! Well done, Nina!

-NINA:

-All right, let's do this.

She's out of the slalom and on to the roundabout.

But there's the dancing dummy again. Nina, concentrate!

He's funny! Stop dancing!

Mummy, focus!

SANDRA: I am actually hoping

that she brings back the car in one piece, Joe.

-Otherwise we've got to get the bus home.

-Absolutely.

Out of the roundabout, on to the barrels.

I'm going to...

Holy moly!

-She's through the first set.

-Ohh!

-What? I know there's a barrel there!

Now she's rolling Tia's barrel out of the way to make a clearer route.

Now, that's allowed, as long as she does it safely.

-My mum is driving.

-Ah, she's done well there.

SANDRA: She's done it.

I hope one of them dummies will move that barrel.

-There you go.

-Well done, Dummy.

-Well done.

That's what we pay them for.

'Next up, it's the speed bumps.'

Come on. All right. You're OK on this side.

-Whoa!

-Yeah, yeah, you've got a bump right over here.

-On your side?

-Yeah, on my side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, guys. Coming, coming, coming.

-Whoa. I'm OK.

-Watch your chin.

-That is enough!

-Is there another bump, Dummy?

-Just go straight a bit. Just go straight.

-OK.

This is a brilliant run. Just the dreaded Ramp of Doom left.

80 is the score to beat.

They've hardly lost any cherries up to this point,

but they can easily lose the whole trifle here!

OK, Tia, what's your advice here?

All right, my advice is...we're doomed.

-Just roll really gently.

-OK.

Smooth approach. And up.

I'm going to faint.

SANDRA: Come on, Nina. Come on, Nina.

-TIA SCREAMS

-'And down.

'Oh, no! There go the cherries, and all of Nina's hard work.

'But has she got more than 61 left? It's going to be close.'

How many cherries do you think you've got left?

I think I've probably got... I can see one.

Well done, Green Team.

What a day three here at Driving Academy.

We've burst two tyres, broken a car and ruined several trifles.

But who's won? Let's find out.

So, teams, about this time of day

I usually, you know, give a little bit of encouragement,

you know, well done, well played, you know, safe driving.

Today, I don't think I'm going to bother.

I'm going to hand it straight over to Sandra.

Joe, it's been madness and mayhem here at Driving Academy today.

With an amazing 80 cherries intact...

-The highest...

-That's an amazing score.

It's an amazing score. It's the highest score ever.

..it's Brian and Lucy!

CHEERING

Well done! Good score, boys and girls.

-Well done, Luce!

-Oh, look!

-Well, moving on.

-Yeah.

-In second place...

-Right.

'So, this is it.

'Have Nina and Tia beaten Todd and Tom's 61 cherries?'

..it is Todd and Tom.

Oh!

No, they haven't.

Silver medal position.

Now, in third place,

with 33 cherries...

-it's Nina and Tia.

-Oh, unlucky.

I'm going to look forward to it, though.

You cannot escape the Wash of Shame.

-Nina and Tia, I'm sorry, you must get ready.

-Yeah!

-It's all right.

-Off you go. Off you go.

Let's see how today's results leave the leaderboard

at the end of day three.

Coming up on tomorrow's Driving Academy,

our rookies are trained in dealing with hazards

for the Superskills Skid Pan Contest,

Mr C's in trouble with Sandra again

and someone gets a face full of custard in the Pieway Code game.

Nina and Tia are just about to take the Wash of Shame,

but who'll be getting gunged tomorrow?

Tune in and find out.

Come on, are we all ready?

No, no, no, no. Oh!

Yeah!

CHEERING

I'm sorry, Nina, but I can't aim for anyone else!

CHEERING

-Have that!

-Oh, dear!