Episode 2 Celebrity Driving Academy

Driving Academy is back with a bump, and this time with added celebrity.

-We've got three stars who are disasters in cars...

-So mean!

..plus their kids, helping them to become better drivers

by joining them on a one-week crash course behind the wheel.

Over five days, our teams are going head-to-head

in five of the most outrageous driving challenges on the planet.

Comedy actress Nina Wadia and her daughter Tia

spent Day One screaming around our reversing challenge,

going straight into joint first place.

Ex-EastEnder and boy-racer Todd Carty banged in the goals,

while his son Tom banged into our dummies.

But rookie Lucy couldn't help her dad,

West End star Brian Conley, with his rubbish reversing,

and they ended up taking the Wash Of Shame.

There's still four days of crash course driving

and high-octane challenges to go.

Can our celebrities overcome their bad habits?

And which team can improve their driving

to become the champions of Celebrity Driving Academy?

Dummy, where's, where's the handle?

This is ridiculous, this is!

Oh!

Hello, I'm Joe Swash,

and welcome to Day Two of Celebrity Driving Academy!

Now, we're here to sort out our celebrities' dubious driving habits

and bad road behaviour because, at the end of the week,

they're going to be taking the driving test of their lives,

the Monster Superskills Challenge!

It's going to be a rough ride, so hold on tight.

So, welcome back to Day Two of Celebrity Driving Academy.

-Did you have a good day yesterday?

-ALL:

-Yeah!

-Was you excited, kids?

-Yes!

-Yeah!

-Right, shall we get this show on the road, guys?

-ALL:

-Yeah!

Let's do this! Coming up on Day Two...

Our rookies and parents are tested on their emergency stops

in the Barrels Of Fun Superskills challenge.

The quicker and safer our teams can stop, the more points they'll get.

But first, our rookies need to learn how to do an emergency stop.

Today's lesson is the emergency stop,

a vital part of road safety that can save lives,

and not just your own.

What's it called? An immediate stop? No, an emergency stop!

Stop! Harder. Harder! BRAKES SCREECH

Taking the learner lessons is elite driving instructor Vicky Lovell.

She's just the woman to teach our rookies about road safety.

They're using their eyes, their hands, their feet,

the steering, so they realise how difficult car control can be.

But don't worry, we're well away from the public on private roads,

and Vicky has a set of dual controls,

so our rookies are in safe hands.

-Immediately?

-Mmm.

-Like, suddenly?

-Like, bam?

-Yes.

-Ugh.

Yeah, Tia, you need to stop immediately,

which means you need to pay attention,

something that mum Nina struggled with yesterday.

-Where's she going?!

-Oops!

And Nina doesn't pay much attention driving around town, either.

-On the little roads...

-Yes.

-..where all the shops and houses are,

you could go a little bit faster.

But it's stopping at speed that Tia seems to be struggling with.

Stop! BRAKES SCREECH

Oh, my!

Tia was not really very confident about going faster and faster.

-How did that feel?

-Er...

-Scary!

-Scary?!

'So, I was quite scared,'

and I kept saying, "Say stop, say stop, say stop!"

One person who never likes stopping is Tom,

and it's not hard to see where he gets that from,

his dad, Speedy Todd, the demon driver of Albert Square.

He's moving down the straight there!

I think we might have found ourselves a little boy racer!

Do I ever speed? I think when I get impatient,

or I want to get home to see my two boys.

The thing I'm most excited about is going really quick.

I like going really quick, like racing and driving.

So, like father, like son, then!

'When we were teaching Tom, he was very keen to go fast,'

but wasn't always so keen to learn when to put the brakes on.

What all our rookies need to understand

is the higher speed, the longer the stopping distance.

That's how long it takes you to stop the car using the brakes.

Judging this will prove vital in our Superskills Challenge later.

-Cos we went a little bit over 30.

-That was awesome!

Tom's going at 34mph here, rather than the standard 30.

Watch what the extra 4mph does to his stopping distance.

Why do you think it's a 30?

So you don't kill anyone.

Good answer, Tom.

Lucy's dad Brian really struggled with going backwards yesterday.

I'm going to have to start again. Oh, God!

'I've driven for many years.'

I'm not the best reverser, though,

so that is obviously something I've got to focus on.

But Lucy needs to focus on stopping.

Brake, Lucy! Brake!

-Too late.

-Stop! Stop!

Whoa! That was scary.

-We need to practise that, don't we?

-Yeah.

I think I just destroyed one of the cones.

Yeah, yeah, I destroyed two.

You always feel you're going to hit it,

cos it's, like, that much away from your car,

and it's so frightening, but it's fun.

So, it's time for Superskills.

Now, today's course has been designed

to see how much our teams have learned about speed and braking.

Will they have learned enough to pass,

or will they be criminally bad?

-HORN BEEPS, SIREN WAILS

-Whoa! It's a fair cop, Guv!

Today's Superskills Challenge is going to be a barrel of fun.

Our teams must drive at the correct speed of 30mph for the kids

and 50mph for the adults, before hitting the brakes

for a clean, fast emergency stop in our scoring zone.

The closer they get to the barrels without hitting them,

the more points they get. Stop short, and they'll lose points.

There are three increasingly difficult rounds,

with each driver getting one shot at each round.

So, who's going to go the distance

and win the top stop on today's podium?

And who's going to come up short and have to face the Wash Of Shame?

Casting her strict eye over proceedings

will be the Academy's chief examiner extraordinaire, Sandra Dobson.

You cannot be responsible for a car if you don't know how to stop it.

Most people drive too close, and I think this challenge

demonstrates exactly what happens when you do that.

But before our teams get their first run at Barrels Of Fun,

let's have a look at the leaderboard.

The Oranges and the Greens have three points each,

and the Blues have one.

But who's going to get those all-important points

from today's super-tough Superskills challenge?

First up, we have Nina and Tia.

So, here comes the Greens, and Tia's not entirely confident

that Mum's mind is always on driving.

-OK.

-Are you ready?

Are you ready? It's been good knowing you, Tia.

-You too, Mum.

-THEY LAUGH

Scatterbrain Nina needs to show a bit of focus here,

and reach the right speed.

There she goes, 50mph.

TIA SCREAMS

Well, goodness gracious me!

Look at that! A screeching halt for Nina, and a screaming halt for Tia.

APPLAUSE

Nina and Tia, you scored 30 points! Well done!

It's scary, because the barrels approach you really fast,

and you think, "I should do it now, I should do it now,"

but, actually, when you're just that little bit scared, you get it.

Nina's got really into the zone, in her head and on the track,

earning 30 points for the Greens.

Next up, Tia did well in the practice run,

but this is the real thing now.

Oh, gosh.

And she's off...slowly.

Oh, give her a chance, give her a chance.

Here comes Tia. She's hit the required 30mph.

Tell me where you'll put the brakes on.

She's going to do it! She's, she's...stopped.

Oh, dear. Has her confidence from earlier left her?

Unlucky, Tia. Unfortunately, you fell short of the scoring zone,

so that'll be minus ten points.

Tia has massively underestimated the stopping distance at that speed.

So, at the end of the first run, Tia's minus ten from Nina's 30

leaves them with 20 points.

Next up, it's the Orange Team, and first to go is Todd,

our boy racer. Has he learnt anything from yesterday?

Todd's relying on Tom to tell him when to stop.

Is this such a great idea?

He's reached 50mph.

Stop!

Oh! What was that?!

A disaster, that's what that was!

And minus ten points for Todd.

I know Todd likes to go fast,

but Tom didn't need to tell him to stop that early!

I thought he did absolutely rubbish!

He wasn't too great at judging Dad's speed,

but can Tom do any better himself and make up for Todd's minus points?

Tom will be pretty determined, I think,

-to do one better than his dad.

-Yeah, I think you're right.

He struggled to stay under 30mph in his lesson...

Just 30, don't accelerate any more.

..so can he control his speed?

THEY GROAN

Howzat! He's really rolled out the barrels.

When I smashed into the barriers,

it felt kind of good, cos it was nice and loud,

but I was really annoyed. I just didn't get it.

At the end of the first run, Tom braked too early,

Todd braked too late. Minus ten points for Team Carty.

Last to go are the Blue Team, Brian and Lucy,

and after yesterday's poor performance,

Brian needs a little bit of luck.

Ooh, I won't be screaming.

Wishing your daddy luck.

Kissed the car? Check. Roger.

Now he's kissed the car, let's see how they get on.

-To third.

-I'm didn't scream, Dad.

Back off a tiny bit.

Stop! BRAKES SCREECH

CHEERING

Whoa! That's the top of the stops so far.

And no need for airbags when Lucy's cheeks are about.

Nice cheeks, Lucy. Nice braking, Brian.

Well done, Brian, congratulations!

You scored yourself 50 points! Well done!

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

That 50 points puts the Blues in the lead.

And last to go on Round One, it's Lucy.

She's desperately trying to stay calm,

as she didn't do very well in the lesson.

Stop at 30. Stop!

-Oh, my God!

-A little bit more, sweetie. Not much, not much.

Go, go, go... Brake!

You beauty!

-Oh, my God!

-You beauty!

I just went, "Ooh, better stop now, should I?"

And I just guessed when to stop, and I was like...

I know, and a result, well done.

And I was just like, "Whoa!"

Yeah, I got 20.

That's 20 points for Lucy, which makes her the first rookie

to get on today's scoreboard.

Adding Brian's 50 points means the Blues have sped into an early lead

with 70 points.

The Greens are second with 20 points,

and the Oranges have been squeezed at minus ten points.

So that's the end of Round One.

Round Two coming up later but has anyone seen Sandra?

Have you seen Sandra?

-Have you? Sorry, mate,

-I ain't seen her, no.

Where does she keep going?

Ah, there she is,

playing with her toy cars under the watchful eye of James May.

Change of direction into the parking space,

make sure it's clear, nice and safe, handbrake on,

switch the engine off, leave it in neutral, fabulous.

DOORBELL RINGS

Wait!

It's Mr Crash. He crashes so you don't have to.

What's he done now?

Proceed!

Ah, Mr Crash.

Really, Mr C. What was it this time?

There's Mr C enjoying an ice cream.

Oops, there goes the ice cream!

Mr C, there's a squirrel.

Pay attention, there's a...

Too late!

That driving was nuts. You get it? Nuts, squirrel?

There's stupid and then there's you, Mr C.

What would James May say?

I bet James May would have some great advice.

Tell him, James.

Never eat or drink anything when you are driving,

even a yummy ice cream.

And if..?

And if you are hungry, stop somewhere safe before tucking in.

Thank you, James.

No, thank YOU, Sandra.

Remember that in future, Mr C.

Now get out, get out, get out!

It's time for Round Two now in our Barrels Of Fun challenge.

Now remember our teams need to reach a speed of 30mph for the rookies

and 50mph for the adults

before trying to make a clean emergency stop.

The closer they get, the higher the score,

but to raise the pressure we've moved the barrels forward

and stacked hundreds of ping-pong balls on top.

First to go in Round Two is the Green Team,

currently in second place with 20 points.

Nina showed her serious side on the first run

but can she do even better this time?

-We are not going to get gunged.

-We are SO going to get gunged.

That's what I like, Tia. Some positive thinking.

Nina needs to adjust her stopping distance

for the barrels' new position.

Was that a bit of braking there?

She's in the zone but was that a clean emergency stop?

-Hold up a minute!

-No!

Stewards enquiry, please. Can we have the stewards with this one?

-STEWARD:

-Kangaroo hops.

Oh, looks like a brake there and another.

The weirdest thing happened cos I went down the emergency brake

and then the car shuddered and then Vicky told me

it's cos I'd taken my foot off the clutch too early.

The return of scatty Nina and that minus ten points

has heaped the pressure onto Tia.

Tia was a bit timid on her first run so she needs to come up with

the goods to save Nina's blushes after that disqualification.

Tiny little bit more acceleration.

She's going for it

and there it is!

Excellent!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Tia, that's amazing!

'I was quite scared

'but the first time I knew it was a bit closer so I should stop

'a bit earlier and that's what Mum told me so that helped a lot.'

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Tia.

Green Team, you scored 50 points!

And that 50 points has left the Greens jumping for joy.

That was amazing, that was amazing, that was amazing!

Next up is Team Orange.

Todd and Tom are sitting on minus ten points at the moment

so they really need to get off the mark.

-Is Todd going to listen to Tom again?

-Stop!

There he goes. There they go.

There's another disaster for Todd.

When the ping pong balls came smashing down it felt so cool.

Like you could just hear the ping pong balls falling.

It felt so awesome like James Bond.

And it also means the end the road

for one of our special secret agent cameras.

Todd scored zero so Tom needs to score massive here to keep them

in the hunt, but unlike Round One, can he control his speed?

He's got a determined streak so I think he'll do it.

This is lovely, just think about your barrels now.

It's all looks good for TomTom

but can he find a route to maximum points? Get it?

Oh, rubbish!

Oh, dear! Our boy racer was a long way short of the scoring area.

That's another minus ten for the boys.

Tom's not happy about that

and, watching the replay, I wouldn't be either.

Did he not learn anything earlier?

You're going to get gunged! You're going to get gunged!

You're going to get gunged!

With a total of minus 20,

that leaves Tom and Todd with an uphill climb for the last round.

Finally for Round Two, it's the Blues, who remarkably,

are still in the lead thanks to their great showing in Round One.

First to go is Brian. Can he give the Blues an even bigger lead?

Stalled it. Good start(!)

-Kiss the car for good luck.

-Well remembered, Lucy.

Ooh-ooh! 50, he's pointing.

-Another 50.

-Stop right now.

He's not stopping just yet, Lucy.

No! Ooh!

But look at that, another classy finish from Mr Conley.

He could have come a cropper after ignoring Lucy's advice

but his new-found confidence cruised him into the 50 zone.

I pulled it out the bag again and I don't know how.

It's you. You're lucky.

Well done. You've got 50 points.

Lucy, 50 points.

Let's do the Conley dance.

Thankfully his driving is better than his dancing.

-We've got to do a belly bump!

-Yeah.

-Sorry.

-You have a big belly for a bump.

That's nice, isn't it?

Let's see how Lucy gets on.

Despite her nerves, she got a solid 20 points last time.

Go for it. Remember, hit those barrels. Just miss them.

Oh, what has she done?

That's ten points off her score. A real disappointment.

I know Dad said miss the barrels but come on.

I think I was going a bit more slow cos it was a lot more worrying.

-Because they were closer.

-Plus the extra with the ping pong balls.

I'm just like, if I hit that, oh, I don't want to.

What went wrong, Luce?

I stopped too soon because ping pong balls are freaking me out.

Yes, Lucy, ping pong phobia, a well-known condition.

Let's see how that leaves our scores at the end of Round Two.

In the slow lane are Todd and Tom with minus 20 points.

Hogging the middle lane with 60 points are Nina and Tia

but living in the fast lane, for now anyway,

are Brian and Lucy with 110 points.

This little book tells you everything you need to know

about thinking safely and driving safely on the roads.

Now our teams have been furiously swatting up

so let's find out how much they really know.

So let's play the Pieway Code.

This is the Pieway Code, a quiz about the Highway Code.

But get an answer wrong and, you guessed it, you get pied.

Can I take it off?

Ready rookies? You can play along at home too.

What does this mean?

Tia's going for uneven road.

Tom's going for humpback bridge.

Lucy's also going for humpback bridge.

OK, time's up. Let's see the correct answer.

Yes, it's an uneven road. Tia got it right.

No pie for you! But, Lucy and Tom, you know what that means.

You two need to get swotting up for the next Pieway Code.

It's time for the third and final round of our Superskills Challenge.

This time we've made it even trickier.

We've got our dummies to add some water to the track.

So just like when it rains,

it takes the car even longer to stop when they brake.

And there's something else.

You've heard of a monkey on your back,

well how about the distraction of a gorilla in your back seat?

First to deal with the primate passenger is Nina and Tia

in the Green Team and they're going bananas.

Do not let him in!

THEY SCREAM

So up next we have Nina with her final run.

The Greens are trailing the Blues, so easily-distracted Nina

needs to ignore the ape and get back in the scoring zone.

That's her at the magic 50.

Ah, too early on the brakes again.

She's really lost her focus thanks to her furry friend.

Now it's Tia for the Green Team's final run.

TIA SCREAMS

Leave her alone!

Tia did really well on her last run but needs at least 50 points

to have even a chance of drawing with the Blues.

I do not appreciate gorillas in my car!

Remember, Tia needs a speed of 30mph.

Nina's keeping the gorilla under control

so she can keep Tia on track.

Quiet.

It looks like that early stop has blown it for the Greens.

Those minus points means there's no chance that they can win,

but can they avoid the Wash of Shame?

Yeah, I think the gorilla distracted us so much,

we ended up with minus 20 points.

We'll do our sad face.

You missed the scoring zone so that's minus ten points,

but it was always going to be difficult.

Did you find it more difficult with the water

-and pushing the drums a bit further forward?

-Yes, definitely.

Well done, guys. You done really well.

So next up we have Tom and Todd.

Our Orange Team have failed to get any points so far

and are currently last at minus 20.

Speedy Todd needs at least 50 points here to have any chance of winning.

Yahoo!

Here we go!

See you on the other side. Light up like a pinball machine.

Pay out in silver dollars!

They're having a right old knees-up with that gorilla.

They'll be singing Roll Out The Barrel next.

Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet.

Unfortunately, you didn't apply the emergency brakes.

-You slowed into it.

-Fair play to the adjudicators.

I did try and make it a real slow one, but they ain't stupid.

They ain't stupid and they told me so.

I think Joe said, "You can't do that."

So as soon as he said that, I thought I'm done for!

Unfortunately, you get minus ten.

-Puts you in a nice position. Well done.

-Yay!

Todd's messed up every round now so the heat is really on Tom.

There's no chance that they can win

but 100 points means that they may avoid a gunging.

Can he curb his need for speed?

At least the gorilla seems to have calmed down a little bit.

Is he going to blast the barrels again?

Er, no. Both of our boy racers have become slow stoppers

and that could mean a gunging.

So when it was the last one, I thought, "Nah, we ain't getting it."

-So I didn't get it.

-I know.

-Too short.

Who are you going to blame? Was it your fault? Was it your dad's fault?

-Dad's fault.

-What happened there, Todd?

-Officially, it's Dad's fault.

I don't mind taking the blame. He did great.

Over all, you done a good job. Give yourselves a pat on the back.

Well done, guys. Well done.

Finally it's the Blues.

Lucy and Brian are currently in the lead,

but can they stay ahead of the rest of the pack?

-Hello.

-Hello there. Is that Vicky?

I think you need a shave, Vicky.

It's Brian first.

He's been brilliant in the earlier rounds but can he keep it up?

Maybe something to eat might help.

No, I'm OK, thank you.

He's fine but thanks for the offer.

Is all this monkeying around going to affect his confidence?

Keep your eyes on the road, Bri!

THEY ALL SHOUT

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

No!

That's the reason why I went splat right the way through the barrels.

Purely down to having a gorilla in the back of the car.

Unfortunately, you might not notice, but you hit a few of the barrels

so there will be no points for that one.

Seriously, have you seen how far they've gone?

But it's still a marked improvement on yesterday.

Next up for the Blue Team and the last run, it's Lucy.

It's a puppet!

So it's the final run of the day and it's Lucy.

She pulled up short on the last run, but can she get over her nerves

and get in the scoring zone to extend the Blues' lead?

Get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready.

Brake! Brake!

Oh, so close, Lucy!

Just a few more centimetres and you'd have made it to the 50 zone.

Hopefully this isn't a life lesson with a monkey in the back.

Yeah, with a horrible banana.

Are you pleased with your performances today?

Do you think you done well?

We're very pleased because, working it all out,

I think we're not in for a dunking. so we are very happy.

Well, talking about working it all out,

I think it's time that we had a look at the scores.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Shall we help her? Get back here!

Enough of all that monkeying around,

let's go to Sandra to find out those final podium positions.

So another good day at Celebrity Driving Academy.

You've all done a sterling job but I'm not the one in charge.

Sandra, you're the boss so take it away.

Well, we have the results and with 100 points...

Oh, that's a good score.

It's a great score for Brian and Lucy!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, this is it.

Thank you, ladies and gentleman.

We have a second place.

With 40 points,

it's Nina and Tia!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Which leaves, with a grand total of...

minus 40,

Todd and Tom!

Thank you very much. Thank you.

You've got to get ready for the Wash of Shame.

-Go on, boys.

-Thank you very much.

While they get ready, let's have a look at the leaderboard.

The Greens are in the lead with five points

and the Blues and Oranges are only a point behind with four.

Next time on Celebrity Driving Academy,

our rookies get trained up for a Superskill Trifle Challenge.

It's all about control and it's going to be sweet.

It will be even sweeter for whoever gets custard pied

and Mr C's being a doughnut again.

Todd and Tom are just about to take the Wash of Shame

but who will be getting their just deserts next time?

Tune in and find out.

Assume the positions, guys.

Are you ready?

We love it!