Episode 1 CineMinis: A CINEMANIACS Short


Episode 1

A short dose of the irreverent show about films and film-making. Actor Ian McKellen, aka Gandalf, comes to the aid of some young film-makers.


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Transcript


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# Want to ride your bike across the face of the moon?

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# Levitate your house with a bunch of balloons

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# Feel zero gravitation

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# A robot transformation

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# You're a cinemaniac

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# Do you love to hear the roar of an extinct dinosaur?

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# To explore the floor in your very own Pandora

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# And feel the urge to sing

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# Form a quest for the ring

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# To escape from the clone

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# Or to be home alone

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# Then roll out the red carpet

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# And turn down the lights

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# Grab yourself a seat and hold on tight

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# We're mad about movies

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# We're crazy for film

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# We're cinemaniacs

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# Cinemaniacs

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# Cinemaniacs. #

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Hello, everyone.

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I'm Oli White and this is Cinemaniacs - Cineminis.

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Coming up...

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A super celebrity surprise.

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As soon as he came through the door I was just like...

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Movie sound effect secrets...

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..and Michael Sheen - Super Actor - monkeys about.

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MONKEY WHOOPS

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What do you think of the show so far, Ben?

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Oh, wow, that's a good question.

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-Yeah, it's a good question, that's why I asked you.

-Very cool.

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Yeah, it is.

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OK, now here's a question for you.

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Are you ready for a DIY blockbusting surprise?

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Action.

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We're giving groups of film-makers the chance to make a short film,

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armed with just a camera, a script and some home-made props.

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But little do they know, they're in for a big surprise...

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You didn't know I was coming?

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..when we give them something spectacular

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to turn their home movie into a DIY blockbuster.

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On the shot list, the first one is the wide shot...

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Libby, Harley, Connie, Maddie, Gus and Eva are making a thriller.

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There's a grandad and he lives with his granddaughter.

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I'm going away for a while.

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He tells her that he's going to the Amazon

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because he wants to be a spy again.

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Here is where I'm going.

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The team think they're going to be playing all of the parts

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in their film themselves, but none of them

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look exactly convincing as an elderly grandparent.

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We still to need to figure out who's Grandad.

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What they don't know is that they are in for

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a DIY blockbuster surprise.

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We've arranged for a world-famous actor to star in their film,

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who will be perfect for the part of Grandad.

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Quiet, please. Action.

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There's some other shopping you need to do.

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With no idea of what's about to happen,

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the team are well into filming,

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with Harley taking the role of Grandad,

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when, suddenly, the doorbell rings.

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-Hello, Ian McKellen, hello.

-Hello!

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Yes, their DIY blockbuster surprise

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really is Ian McKellen, star of The Lord Of The Rings, The Hobbit

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and the X-Men films.

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As soon as he came through the door I was just like...

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-Hello.

-Hello.

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It's Gandalf. I was like... It's Gandalf.

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It was just so amazing.

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Me and Harley looked at each other and we were like, "Yes."

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-Angus, nice to meet you. I like your hat.

-Thanks.

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Properly, properly wound up.

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-You didn't know I was coming?

-No.

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I was a bit nervous coming in, as you can imagine.

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-Is this is where I live?

-Yes.

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-I'm your granddaughter.

-Thank you.

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Ian's keen to get straight into character.

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Now, do you suppose it was your mother or your father

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who was my child?

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I asked Lucy...

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..was she the daughter of my son or of my daughter,

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and she hadn't thought about that.

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It doesn't really matter.

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-Well, it matters to me.

-Father.

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So I had a son and he was your father.

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-Lovely.

-OK.

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With a better understanding of Grandad's character, filming begins.

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Lucy, there's something I need to tell you.

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I'm going to go away for a while.

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Ian's performance was, like, perfect.

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It was really good, it was amazing.

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But why, Grandad?

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Because I'm old and I need something to do.

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I was just looking at the thing and just going,

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"Yes."

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I'll miss you, Grandad.

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He acted like he was actually her grandad.

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In fact, Ian's acting is so convincing, it's causing confusion.

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Don't move! Tell us where the USB stick is.

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'I thought he was actually really scared.'

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-Where have you hidden it?

-I have no idea what you're talking about.

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'And I didn't mean to scare him or anything.

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'He really convinced me that it was real.'

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Lucy, don't forget the shopping list.

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Ian may be a world-class actor, but he still needs direction,

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and the team have forgotten to tell him

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what he's meant to be doing in this scene.

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-That was a shambles.

-Yeah.

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You've got to tell the actors what to do.

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Maddie and I didn't know that we were in the shot.

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We had to tell him, like, what to do, where to be.

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So, where am I standing, roughly?

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Just stand there and just go... Stuff everything in.

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If I had any questions, they listened and gave me a clear answer,

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so I felt they adopted me as part of the team and I relaxed.

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Ian's impressed with the speed the team are working at.

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I'll tell you what, I have never worked so fast in my life.

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It's brilliant.

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I always want you directing my films.

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In fact, they're already on to their final scene.

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What you need to do is film Maddie and then go on to them.

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But I'm getting cold!

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And they're using the wet weather to their advantage.

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It was a rainforest, so it was good that it was rainy because it

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kind of got that little effect and made it a little bit more realistic.

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But we did get really wet though.

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But is it a good idea to keep your star waiting around in the rain?

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I was a bit cold and I was a bit damp,

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but then so were they and they weren't complaining,

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so I didn't think I should.

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Action.

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Just moments away from finishing their movie, there's a hitch.

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I escaped.

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Oh, the battery ran out!

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Battery.

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But nothing a spare battery can't fix.

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There's somebody here to see you.

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I escaped. Oh!

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-Yay!

-Well done.

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They finally managed to get the last shot, so that's a wrap.

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It was such a good day. I don't think I'm ever going to forget it.

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ALL: Thank you.

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Wow, thank you.

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I just can't believe that he would take the time to work with us.

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He's just an amazing man.

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-Thank you very much and I'll see you at the premiere.

-Yeah.

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Right, thank you.

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So what was the best bit of this magical day?

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We met Ian and he was in our film.

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You can check out the team's finished movie on the CBBC website.

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Time for some movie magic.

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My name's Guy Rowland and I'm a sound designer.

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A lot of the effects you can do at home with just stuff

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that's around the house. It's sort of what the professionals do.

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They take sounds that are recorded that might be for a

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completely different purpose,

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and then they put them over different pictures

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and it fools the mind into thinking you've heard something you haven't.

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A really unusual effect can be done with just a pillow.

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And if you get your hands and start beating the pillow fast,

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that can sound like the bird flapping its wings.

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A fun trick to play is if you record someone just

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putting their hand into an empty box, and then, of course, you can

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have all sorts of fun with the sound of what's in the box.

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And you can get something like a pumpkin or a tomato

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and just make those horrible squishy sounds on there.

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And then if you put that over the picture of the hand going in the box,

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it makes you think something really horrible is going on

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that you can't see.

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If you've got one of these...

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If it's a metal one, it should work really well.

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All you need to do is you hold it out in front of you, get a cup,

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hold it at the bottom like that, and let go and...

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LASER WHOOSHING SOUND

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There's the laser sound from Star Wars.

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So, this is where I give you guys three top tips

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for you to make your own videos.

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Get yourself a phone or a camera.

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Now, this might be quite an obvious one, but believe me,

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I've done it so many times -

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I've pressed stop when I've actually meant to press start.

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You need to make sure you have a memory card

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and that there's no embarrassing selfies on.

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Oh, no, that's photoshopped, I swear.

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There are so many different memory cards out there.

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There's SD cards, there's CF card, LOL, WBU.

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Actually, hold on a minute. No, they're not all memory cards.

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You're going to need to get yourself some juice

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and charge up the camera... Oh.

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And that's it for today's top tips.

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Now this.

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Who has taken out all the same books as Shizuku in the library?

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Seiji Amasawa.

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Who runs the antique shop?

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Seiji's grandpa.

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Who is Moon, or Muta?

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The cat.

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Who is the first person to read Shizuku's story?

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Seiji's grandpa.

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What American song is Shizuku translating?

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Country Road.

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Who was Nishi's first love?

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Shizuku. BUZZER

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Correct answer - Louise.

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SCREAM

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What does Angus feed the Water Horse after it hatches out of the egg?

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He fed it potatoes.

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Where did Kirstie first discover the Water Horse?

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In the bath.

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What phobia does Angus have?

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He has a phobia of water, or aquaphobia.

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What is Angus's last name?

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Angus MacMorrow.

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What is the faked picture of the Loch Ness Monster called?

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The Loch... The Loch Ness myth.

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BUZZER

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Correct answer - the Surgeon's Photo.

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SCREAM

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Which child held the world record for chewing gum?

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Violet Beauregarde.

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What does Willy Wonka do with Mr Salt's business card?

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Throws it over his shoulder.

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What is Willy Wonka's dad's job?

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Dentist.

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What flavour soup was in the bubble-gum violet tasted?

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Chicken?

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-BUZZER

-Correct answer - Tomato.

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SCREAM

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And the winner is...Moriah.

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Yes!

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And now, the star of Alice In Wonderland, Tron and Twilight.

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He is Michael Sheen - Super Actor.

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My challenge for today is just to monkey about.

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Yep, that's right, I simply have to dress up in this monkey outfit

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and try to convince this lot that I am the best monkey actor.

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Except, I'm up against Aidan - a professional primate performer -

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he's one of the best in the business.

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And he'll be going head-to-head with me in...

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But first I have to get covered in sticky stuff.

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I am getting prepared for what's called a skull cap, and I wear

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that inside the ape suit so that my head's not rattling around inside.

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You might think this looks weird,

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but wait till you see what else I'm wearing under my monkey suit.

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Do my muscles look big in this?

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I knew there was something I forgot to do.

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I forgot to shave my legs.

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-As you do the step, try and lead with the elbow.

-Yeah.

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There's just time for Aidan

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to give me a quick masterclass in monkey movements.

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What makes for a good ape actor?

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The ability to put up with not being able to see very well,

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not being able to breathe very well

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and being able to put up with quite high levels of heat.

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So, how's it looking?

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'He's just trying to put me off!'

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Whoa, steady with the eyeliner. Monkey contacts in.

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Push now, push it in.

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I'm starting to wonder if there's a bit more to this challenge than just

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putting on a fancy dress costume and jumping around in the garden.

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But I can't let Aidan know that.

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I'm sure he'll be very good because he's an absolutely

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first-class actor, but, at the same time, I think it will be quite hard.

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The skin texture feels really amazing.

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Right, head's on, let's get into character.

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I remember when I first performed Shakespeare.

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I was Henry V.

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'OK, maybe not.

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'Think bananas, think jungle.

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'Think itchy armpits.

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It's time for...

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# Now I'm the king of the swingers, the jungle VIP... #

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'Here I come. I'm starting casual.

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'It's quite normal for me

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'to be monkeying about in an English country garden.

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'All I need to do is convince five out of the eight judges

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'I'm the best ape.

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'Whoa there. Oh, he's just showing off.

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'Time to show them what I can do.

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'Check this out, guys.

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'Walking, turning a corner...

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'and sitting down.

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'Exhausting, but I think they like it.

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'Oi, get off!

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'Yeah, yeah, never mind the camera, Aidan.

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'It's getting quite hot in here.

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'Hopefully I've done enough to impress the judges, though.

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You couldn't tell that there were people underneath them.

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I found it interesting, but quite scary at the same time.

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I thought they looked really realistic and quite scary.

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It's time for...

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'So, who's voting for me? Michael Sheen - Super Actor.

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'AKA the orang-utan.

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'What, one banana? I mean, one vote? Which means...

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'..seven votes for Aidan as the most convincing primate!

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I chose the gorilla because he's quite boisterous

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and I think that's what they look like in the wild.

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He, like, interacted with the judges,

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like, running towards them and stuff.

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I chose the orang-utan

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cos it was more relaxed, whereas the gorilla was a bit too active.

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Today's challenge started with me monkeying around, but it ended up

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with my orang-utan playing second banana to Aidan's gorilla.

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Which means that today, Michael Sheen - Super Actor...

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has failed.

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Better luck next time, Michael.

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And finally - sweet or salty?

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Salty popcorn.

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-Sweet.

-Sweet.

-Salt.

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-Sweet.

-Sweet.

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Sweet.

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-Salted.

-Salted.

-Sweet.

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-Salty.

-Sweet.

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Salty.

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-Salty.

-Salty.

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Sweet. Sweet.

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-Salty.

-Sweet.

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I'm Oli White and you've been watching Cinemaniacs - Cineminis.

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CineMinis are an even shorter, funnier and faster dose of the irreverent show about films and film-making, hosted by Oli White. It looks like CINEMANIACS, it smells like CINEMANIACS but this is the bite-size brilliance of CineMinis.

Actor Ian McKellen, aka Gandalf, comes to the aid of some young film-makers in DIY Blockbuster, we give you behind-the-scenes secrets to create awesome movie sound effects, and actor Michael Sheen is forced to become a monkey in the Ape Acting Challenge.


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