Wednesday Class Dismissed

This is Dockbridge High - a school just like yours,

a school like any other.

A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,

most respected members of the teaching profession.

Our cameras filmed for a year to find out what life is really like

for the students and their teachers

at this most ordinary of schools.

SIREN WAILS

Welcome to Class Dismissed.

BELL RINGS

Every day at Dockbridge High is different.

Today, for example,

it's a Wednesday.

HE LAUGHS

Music and dance teacher Mr Christopher

HATES the spotlight...

being on anyone else.

I mean, I'm going to be frank, you can't get anywhere these days

without a music or dance qualification.

# Welcome to the lesson

# You're learning from the best

# You'd pick me if you had a choice

# A guy who once auditioned for The Voice

# Ah-ah-ah, ahh! #

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

So, guys, let's form a music circle.

CHIME JINGLES

OK. OK.

Dabba, dabba, d... OK.

Dee bee... Dabba, dabba, da.

OK, so, who can remind me what your homework was last week?

It was to watch all of your videos on the internet

and pick our favourite one.

Dramatic pause!

Correct.

So, why don't you kick us off, Jasmine?

-So...

-Jazz hands.

So, I liked the one where you were doing high kicks

for six minutes nonstop.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, embarrassing.

Oh, so embarrassing.

I can do it for much longer than that.

Oh, er... Cool.

OK, OK, I'll show you.

Demanding.

Martin, film me.

And do it properly this time.

And...

go!

Landscape, Martin, landscape.

And kick, and kick,

and kick, and kick,

and kick, and kick...

Modern foreign languages teacher Miss Franks

makes speaking French look surprisingly easy.

Bon appetit.

I believe in teaching practical French.

Things that will really help the students if they should end up in...

..France.

OK, useful French phrases.

At the cafe. Le cafe.

Repeat after me.

Je voudrais un sandwich

au jambon et fromage.

ALL: Je voudrais un sandwich au jambon et fromage.

Oui!

Merci-bucket!

Now, does anyone know what that means?

I would like a ham and cheese sandwich, Miss.

Well, we'd all like one of those, Taj, but this is a French lesson.

Concentrate.

OK, next scenario.

Ah, at the hospital.

Le hospital.

Now, listen carefully, you never know when you might need this.

Monsieur doctor, hola,

je voudrais un sandwich au jambon et fromage.

It's a toughie.

Any ideas?

-Taj.

-It means, "I would like a ham and cheese sandwich," Miss,

but you wouldn't say that in the hospital.

You would if you were hungry, Taj.

OK. Next scenario.

At the circus.

Le circus.

-Bonjour, Taj.

-Bonjour, Madame.

-Who in the what now?

-I just said, "Hello, Miss," in French.

Well, don't.

It's very off-putting.

Who taught you that, anyway?

My mum. She's French, Miss,

so I've learned some already.

Well, I'm afraid that's cheating, Taj.

OK, now, where was I?

At the circus. Le circus.

Now, what would be the first thing you'd need to say at the circus?

That's right.

Je voudrais un sandwich

au jambon et fromage.

Well, write it down, then.

Yeesh.

Today, in science,

Mr Nasal will be teaching year eight

about mould, spores and fungus.

Repugnant, filthy,

dirty little fungus.

-So that's the register dealt with.

-HE LAUGHS

Little science joke.

So, let's learn about mould.

Children your age are usually covered in the stuff.

Verrucas, athlete's foot,

warts. Disgust...

Ah...

Ah!

Absolutely repulsive.

Now, mould.

Let's look at some samples under the microscope.

Come up and collect one.

Look at this one. It's the worst.

What are you talking about, Emily, that's my lunch.

Nothing wrong with a bit of mould.

Grim.

THEY GAG

Sir, I thought you said mould was disgusting, absolutely repulsive.

That's children.

Little science joke. Anyway.

Ah...

Ah...

Ah!

Spores.

Atchoo!

You, girl, have you been eating in class?

-No, sir, you just sneezed...

-That's disgusting. Get out.

Now,

where was I?

BELL RINGS

Geography teacher Mrs Crampon loves the great outdoors...

..even when she's indoors.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Righto, class.

I've just been informed of a change of classroom.

So, single file please

and follow me.

Stay close, the path is unmarked

and conditions are treacherous.

We're heading westerly to the vending machine,

then plotting a north-west course

to the summit of the science block.

Billy,

you're in charge of the compass.

Yes!

Wait, how does it work?

I keep saying, "Don't give Billy any responsibility."

It's lunchtime at Dockbridge

and, as the children tuck in,

dinner lady Mrs Tucker makes sure that they are eating well.

Hey, what's that you got there, then?

Sandwich, eh?

Very nice.

Ain't seen one in such good nick for a long time.

All right, what do you want for it?

Sorry?

The sandwich, What do you want for it? Come on, I'll do a good deal.

It's not for sale.

I see,

playing hard to get, all right.

I'll give you...

A cheese toastie...

..and a bag of pork scratchings.

No, I'm good thanks.

He drives a hard bargain, this one.

All right, all right, your sandwich for the cheese toastie,

the bag of scratchings and...

..a chocolate bar.

Come on, I'm robbing myself.

I don't want to swap it.

All right.

All right, here's what I'll do.

The toastie, the scratchings, the choccy bar and...

..a roast dinner with all the trimmings.

How long has that been in there?

Come on, I'll throw in the briefcases well.

Fine, just take it.

Lovely. Pleasure doing business with you.

Tuna mayonnaise?

I've been robbed.

BASS-HEAVY DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

As in every school, the staffroom is out of bounds to pupils...

..but Emily has a form to hand in.

Hi, I've got a form to hand in.

-Name.

-Mr Capp.

YOUR name.

Emily.

No, if your name's not down, you're not coming in.

I don't want to come in, I just want to give this to Mr Capp.

Oh, yeah, that old one.

I go inside, I look for this Mr Capp -

meanwhile, you and all your mates sneak in.

What mates? And I don't want to come in,

I just want to give him this form.

Come on, you've had a good night.

Taxis are that way.

Uh-uh.

Former pupil Nikki Bolton

is now a PE teacher at the school.

She's understandably proud of her sporting records

which have never been beaten.

As I always say, it's not the winning that's important,

it's the taking part.

Ha! I never say that.

Hello, year eight.

ALL: Hi, Miss.

I can't hear you.

I said, "Hello, year eight."

ALL: Hello, Miss Bolton!

Better.

Now, each and every single one of you

has the ability to be a champion

through studying PE.

Think of all the famous names that have come out of sport -

Beckham, Adlington, Ennis...

Bolton -

but can you name me just one famous scientist?

-Hawking.

-Einstein.

-Newton.

I said one.

If you work really hard at PE,

you can really be somebody...

like me -

the uncontested Dockbridge High sports champion since 1997.

Not one of you has been able to beat me.

There's not one sport I'm not good at.

There must be one, Miss.

What about football?

-Oosh!

-Ping-pong.

Horse racing.

SHE NEIGHS AND WHINNIES

Boxing.

Badminton.

Relay.

-Cricket.

-Basketball.

Swimming.

Done. Next.

Come back here. Give me some more sports.

No-one said dodge ball yet.

The school admin office is an information hub.

If a pupil has a question,

if no-one else can help,

and if they can find her,

maybe they can ask Miss Clover.

Excuse me, Miss, I've lost my timetable.

Do you know what class I'm in next?

Sorry, Billy, but you'll have to queue like everyone else.

Come through the zigzags.

Hello. How can I help you?

Can you tell me what my next lesson is?

Certainly.

Just take a ticket and wait to be called.

113!

114!

115!

Hello, Billy.

How can I help you today?

I just need to know what my next lesson is, Miss.

Oh, not a problem.

Now, as you've expressed an interest in the lessons,

shall I tell you about some of the other lessons

-we've got available today?

-Don't really have time, Miss.

Oh, of course.

But whilst you are here,

I must tell you about Mr Nasal's school trip

to the sewage treatment plant. Interested?

-No, Miss, sorry. I'm going to be late.

-Fine.

Fine! Timetable.

One timetable

and a map of the school.

Now, we are here,

so you want to take a left out of the reception,

right at the science lab and then...

Sorry, Miss, got to go. Thanks.

Can I interest you in a Dockbridge High key ring?

Snow globe?

Commemorative mug?

It's all about customer satisfaction.

That's the key.

116!

PHONE RINGS

Maths is one of the four most important subjects

at Dockbridge High,

the other two being science and English.

So, if a man needs to catch a train

and a train departs the railway station at 3:45...

..and it takes 25 minutes to walk there...

and he carries a heavy bag...

..what time should he leave

in order to get to the station with five minutes to spare?

-Yes, Taj?

-3:15, Sir.

Right.

THEY LAUGH

Quiet reading.

BELL RINGS

And so another school day comes to an end.

-The pupils have been stretched...

-And kick!

Are you still getting this, Martin?

And kick, and kick.

-I told you before.

-..and challenged...

I was just trying to hand in a form.

Always the same.

..and tomorrow, they'll do it all over again.

MUSIC: Here I Go Again by Whitesnake

# Here I go again on my own

# Going down the only road I've ever known

# Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone

# And I've made up my mind

# I ain't wasting no more...

BELL RINGS