Shakespeare Class Dismissed
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Transcript
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This is Dockbridge High - a school just like yours, | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
a school like any other. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:06 | |
A place where bright young minds are taught | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
by some of the wisest, most respected members | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
of the teaching profession. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
Our cameras filmed for a year to find out | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
what life is really like for the students and their teachers | 0:00:16 | 0:00:19 | |
at this most ordinary of schools. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
Welcome to Class Dismissed. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:25 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
It's the annual Shakespeare Day at Dockbridge High - | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
an event that's thoroughly embraced | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
by drama teacher Sir Stanley Bleacher | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
come what may. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:37 | |
Hark! Hark! | 0:00:37 | 0:00:39 | |
Hark! | 0:00:39 | 0:00:41 | |
Verily I say thrice, | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
it is the lark herald of the Bard's morn. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:47 | |
'Shakespeare Day -' | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
I love it! | 0:00:50 | 0:00:51 | |
Of course, when you're an actor EVERY day is Shakespeare Day. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:55 | |
You can't have too much of a good thing. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
I particularly like | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
March. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:02 | |
Friends, Romans, children. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:08 | |
'Tis the Shakespeare masterclass | 0:01:09 | 0:01:11 | |
where all your questions about Shakespeare | 0:01:11 | 0:01:13 | |
will be answered. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
Sir, I have a question. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:16 | |
Yes? | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
-Harriet? -Why are you wearing a skirt and tights? | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:20 | 0:01:22 | |
Pupils often say to me, | 0:01:22 | 0:01:23 | |
"Sir Stanley, what is acting?" | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
HE SOBS QUIETLY | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
THAT'S acting. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
And for Shakespeare, you do it | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
dressed like this. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
We shall commence with a scene from the Scottish play. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:43 | |
-Macbeth? -Ah-da-da-da! | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
Yes, that one. In the theatre, it's very bad luck | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
-to say its name. -What, Macbeth? | 0:01:49 | 0:01:50 | |
-Ah! -LAUGHTER | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
Sir, you invite disaster. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
What about his other plays? Is it bad luck to say THEM? | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
-Hamlet! -Romeo And Juliet! | 0:01:57 | 0:02:00 | |
-King Lear! -Harry Potter! | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
No, no, no, no, no, no. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:03 | |
Only Macbeth. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:04 | |
-Aah! -LAUGHTER | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
Sir, nothing's happening to you. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
So it isn't. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:10 | |
Oh, my goodness! | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
All of a sudden I feel free! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:02:16 | 0:02:17 | |
Macbeth. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:18 | |
Macbeth. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
Ha! Macbeth! | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
Oh! | 0:02:23 | 0:02:24 | |
-HE SHOUTS IN THE DISTANCE: -Macbeth! | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
-ALL: -Macbeth! -Macbeth! -Macbeth! -Macbeth! Macbeth! | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
Meanwhile, in another part of the school, | 0:02:28 | 0:02:31 | |
something extraordinary is about to happen. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
Time to make another batch of my aftershave. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:37 | |
Now, where's the ammonia? | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
MUSIC: I'm Kissing You by Des'ree | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
Who's there? | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
Sorry, Mr Nasal, I didn't realise you were in here. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:49 | |
I'm Miss Spray. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:50 | |
She speaks! | 0:02:51 | 0:02:54 | |
Miss Spray? | 0:02:54 | 0:02:55 | |
The new lab technician. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
Miss Spray. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
Mr Nasal? | 0:03:00 | 0:03:01 | |
Miss Spray! | 0:03:01 | 0:03:02 | |
Mr Nasal! | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
Do you er...come here often? | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
SHE GIGGLES | 0:03:07 | 0:03:08 | |
Yes. Before every lesson! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
-Perhaps I'll see you again then. -Oh, perhaps. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
# I'm... | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
# I'm kissing... # | 0:03:17 | 0:03:21 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
Oh. I-I should be going. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
-Goodbye. -Yeah, OK, I... | 0:03:25 | 0:03:26 | |
Parting is such sweet sorrow. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
HE MOANS | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
I think Mr Nasal and Miss Spray fancy each other. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
Love is blind. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
English teacher Mr Capp wants to be on the same level | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
as his students. | 0:03:58 | 0:03:59 | |
So today, they've all got to sit on top of their desks. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:03 | |
OK, kids, here's the 411. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Today is Shakespeare Day, | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
and we is gonna be studying Shakespeare. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
Mr Capp? | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
Nicknames only. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:14 | |
OK. Um.. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
The Capp-meister? | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
Can I answer your question about something I read in Hamlet? | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, T-Dog. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
We don't learn about Hamlet by reading Hamlet, | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
we learn about Hamlet by... | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
..being Hamlet. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:30 | |
So - what do we know about Hamlet? | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
Well, he was a procrastinator who pretended he was mad | 0:04:32 | 0:04:36 | |
in order to seek revenge for his murdered father, | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
and he loved | 0:04:39 | 0:04:40 | |
-BMX-ing. -GROANING | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
So, the best way for me to teach you about Hamlet | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
is by popping a sweet wheelie over my desk. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
What's that got to do with it? | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
The bike, yeah, represents Hamlet's father, yeah? | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
I'm Hamlet. The desk represents all the obstacles in my way. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
And, as Shakespeare wrote, | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
"Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
"and I will have my vengeance." | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
That's Gladiator, sir. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
I don't think you should do this, Mr Capp... | 0:05:05 | 0:05:08 | |
-..meister. -Hey, chillax! | 0:05:08 | 0:05:09 | |
To BMX or not to BMX? That is the question. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:13 | |
And the answer is yes! | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
-CRASH ALL: -Ooh! | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
Are you all right, sir? | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
Banter! | 0:05:22 | 0:05:25 | |
I told him not to do it. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:26 | |
In the playground, the pupils are about to prank Mr Nasal. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:35 | |
Dear Mr Nasal... | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
Ever since we met in the prep room this morning... | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
I can't stop thinking about you! | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
If you fancy me too, give me a sign. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
Wear these yellow socks... | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
All afternoon. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
All my love, | 0:05:57 | 0:05:58 | |
Miss Spray. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
-Right, now do lots of love hearts... -Yeah. -..all over it. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
All of that next to Miss Spray. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
And so to Maths, where Mr Konnundrum is taking the class | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
through another entirely hypothetical problem. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
So, if a man is suffering from particularly volatile diarrhoea... | 0:06:15 | 0:06:21 | |
..and he needs to take his medication every four hours. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:26 | |
If he takes his first dose at 7:30am... | 0:06:28 | 0:06:32 | |
..what time should he take the second dose in order to avoid | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
future volatile diarrhoea? | 0:06:39 | 0:06:41 | |
-Yes, Tahj? -11:30am, sir. -Hmm. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
Oh. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
-It's 11:50. -HIS STOMACH RUMBLES | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
Oh! | 0:06:53 | 0:06:54 | |
-ALL: -Urgh... -LAUGHTER | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
Quiet READING! | 0:06:56 | 0:06:57 | |
-HIS STOMACH RUMBLES -Oh! | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
-ALL: -Urgh! | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
Oh! Ooh! | 0:07:01 | 0:07:03 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
As Mr Konnundrum narrowly avoids becoming a laughing stock, | 0:07:05 | 0:07:09 | |
Mr Nasal is about to be hoodwinked. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
"Dear Mr Nasal, ever since..." | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
HE READS | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
"..yellow socks." | 0:07:26 | 0:07:27 | |
HE GASPS | 0:07:27 | 0:07:29 | |
Miss Spray! | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
HE SIGHS | 0:07:32 | 0:07:33 | |
In the spirit of Shakespeare Day, history teacher Mrs Beddows | 0:07:35 | 0:07:38 | |
has turned her classroom into an Elizabethan tavern. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:42 | |
Prithee, masters and mistresses, | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
welcome to Ye Olde Historical Tavern. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:49 | |
-This place stinks, Miss. -Aye, my lady. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:53 | |
The floor is made of cow dung. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
-ALL: -Ew! | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
Everything in this tavern is exactly as it would have been | 0:07:57 | 0:08:01 | |
in Shakespeare's day. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
Even me! I'm wearing woollen knickers, | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
and...I've got fleas! | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
-ALL: -Ew! -Rank! | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
In 1564 | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
was born the playwright we all adore. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
That rhymes, miss. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:18 | |
Yes, Billy. Because in ye olde days | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
that's how everyone spoke, | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
and rhyming is an excellent way to learn. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
Now - who can tell me when Shakespeare died? | 0:08:26 | 0:08:32 | |
1616? | 0:08:32 | 0:08:33 | |
Rhyming, please, Gabriella. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
In 1616, | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
William Shakespeare... left the scene. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
Excellent! | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
Who can tell me who was on the throne at that time? | 0:08:43 | 0:08:47 | |
When Shakespeare died the king was... | 0:08:47 | 0:08:51 | |
A rat! | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
A rat! The king was a rat? That doesn't even rhyme! | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
-No, miss - I just saw a rat. -Oh, good! | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
I let five of them out in here this morning... | 0:08:59 | 0:09:02 | |
THEY GASP | 0:09:02 | 0:09:03 | |
-..and I haven't seen one since! -SCREAMING | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
Unaware of any foul play, Mr Nasal is preparing for the next time | 0:09:11 | 0:09:15 | |
he sees Miss Spray. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
"Hello, Miss Spray..." | 0:09:17 | 0:09:18 | |
Oh. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:19 | |
"Miss Spray... | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
"Hello!" | 0:09:22 | 0:09:23 | |
HE SIGHS | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
Ah... | 0:09:26 | 0:09:27 | |
"Oh. Miss Spray! | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
"Do you like my...yellow socks?" | 0:09:29 | 0:09:31 | |
It's lunchtime, and despite the tempting offer of | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
Mrs Tucker's Shakespearean offal pie, | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
most people are going for mash. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
-Offal pie? -Mash, please. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Offal pie? | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
Yes. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:47 | |
Meanwhile, Tahj has hurt himself playing football, | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
so he's off to see school nurse Mr Hart. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
Luckily, it's just a graze. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
All right, sir? | 0:09:56 | 0:09:57 | |
Have you got a plaster for this? | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
Sure thing, little buddy! Let's take a look at you. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
-HE GASPS -Prep the ER! | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
SIREN BLARES | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
It's just a graze, sir. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
It's worse than I thought! Get me the crash team! | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
I need five bags of O negative, stat! | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
Sir, just a plaster's fine. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:18 | |
-He's delusional! -I just need a... | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
We're losing him! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:21 | |
Where's that crash team?! | 0:10:21 | 0:10:24 | |
Looks like you're on your own, Hart. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:10:31 | 0:10:34 | |
It's the afternoon and in Food Technology, | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
Miss Davis has decided it's high time that Year Eight | 0:10:38 | 0:10:41 | |
learned to make bread. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
Right, class, your dough should have risen by now. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
SHE FARTS LOUDLY | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
Take it out and... | 0:10:47 | 0:10:48 | |
-SHE FARTS LOUDLY -..pop it on the table! | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
Mine's a belter! | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
SHE FARTS LOUDLY | 0:10:52 | 0:10:53 | |
Now, you need to get all the air out of it. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
SHE FARTS LOUDLY | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
Really squeeze it out. | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
SHE FARTS LOUDLY | 0:10:59 | 0:11:00 | |
Give it a good pump! | 0:11:00 | 0:11:01 | |
-SHE FARTS LOUDLY -Come on, everyone! | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
-SHE FARTS LOUDLY THREE TIMES -Pump, pump, pump! | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
Is this actually happening? | 0:11:06 | 0:11:07 | |
Not like that, Emily. With gusto! | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
You need to throw caution | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
-to the wind! -SHE FARTS LOUDLY | 0:11:13 | 0:11:14 | |
-Let rip... -SHE FARTS LOUDLY | 0:11:14 | 0:11:15 | |
..and force the air out it. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:17 | |
SHE FARTS LOUDLY | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
-Yeah. It's actually happening. -SHE FARTS LOUDLY | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
As that lesson ends, no-one is too surprised | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
when another begins, | 0:11:24 | 0:11:25 | |
but the end of the day is in sight. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:28 | |
In Textiles, Miss Dior Durant has her own distinctive style | 0:11:28 | 0:11:32 | |
of encouraging students. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
Hello! Good time of day, blah, blah, blah. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
Question! | 0:11:37 | 0:11:38 | |
What is name of place men take bins? | 0:11:38 | 0:11:41 | |
A rubbish tip, miss? | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
A tip! Ha-ha! Funny! | 0:11:44 | 0:11:45 | |
That what you look like, Year Eight - | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
a tip! | 0:11:48 | 0:11:49 | |
You chew gums? | 0:11:49 | 0:11:51 | |
You should chew gums, it's cool! | 0:11:51 | 0:11:54 | |
Now, this is globally unacceptable. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
Anyone tell me what is wrong with uniform? | 0:11:57 | 0:12:00 | |
Oh, er, the top button's undone, miss. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:03 | |
-Her tie isn't straight, Miss. -No, no, no, no, no! | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
Move, move, move! | 0:12:06 | 0:12:08 | |
It is so last season. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
Who even wears uniform any more? | 0:12:10 | 0:12:13 | |
And no hat! | 0:12:13 | 0:12:14 | |
You look like Taylor Swift riding dolphin from volcano! | 0:12:14 | 0:12:18 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:18 | 0:12:19 | |
Come on, come on, come on. You need serious, serious helps! | 0:12:19 | 0:12:23 | |
Und... | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
voila! | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
Hat! | 0:12:32 | 0:12:33 | |
I buy from man in forest. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
Donkey hat number one in fashion charts! | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
Excellent modelling! | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
-CHEERING -Excellent! | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
Unaware that he is on a wild-goose chase, | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
Mr Nasal is trying to woo Miss Spray. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
Miss Spray, Miss Spray! | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
Do you like my outfit? | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
Your outfit? Well, er, I... | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
Remember? You commended my yellow socks | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
and wished to see me in them all afternoon! | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
I'm sorry, Mr Nasal, I don't know what you're talking about. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:15 | |
I don't even like yellow. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:16 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
See you tomorrow. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:20 | |
Another successful Shakespeare Day has vanished into thin air, | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
and Sir Stanley Bleacher is a bit sad it's over. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
Oh! Oh! | 0:13:35 | 0:13:39 | |
Oh! | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
Oh, you are men of stone! | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
All's cheerless, dark and deadly! | 0:13:44 | 0:13:48 | |
Others are quite pleased to say good riddance | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
to Shakespeare Day, and send it packing. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
Honestly, it doesn't look that bad. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
It's not been a great day for Mr Weed... | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
-Sir? -..who's in a pickle. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
Sir, you can't see the way, give me your arm. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
I'll lead you, where do you want to go? | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
Knowest the way to Dover? | 0:14:07 | 0:14:09 | |
And Mr Hart has grave concerns for an old friend. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:15 | |
No signs of life! He's dead as a doornail! | 0:14:15 | 0:14:19 | |
Aah! | 0:14:19 | 0:14:20 | |
Oh, well. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:21 | |
All's well that ends well. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 |