School Photo Class Dismissed


School Photo

Similar Content

Browse content similar to School Photo. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

This is Dockbridge High - a school just like yours,

0:00:020:00:04

a school like any other.

0:00:040:00:06

A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,

0:00:060:00:10

most respected members of the teaching profession.

0:00:100:00:14

Our cameras returned for another year to find out

0:00:140:00:16

what life is really like for the students and their teachers

0:00:160:00:19

at this most ordinary of schools.

0:00:190:00:21

Welcome to Class Dismissed.

0:00:230:00:26

BELL RINGS

0:00:270:00:30

It's school photo day at Dockbridge High,

0:00:300:00:32

and this year they've decided to hire

0:00:320:00:34

one of the world's best photographers.

0:00:340:00:37

Come on, Martin.

0:00:370:00:38

These cheeks won't contour themselves.

0:00:380:00:40

But none of them were available.

0:00:400:00:42

So they've hired this chap instead.

0:00:420:00:44

I can't wait to get our photos done.

0:00:440:00:46

Because it's nice to have a visual record of your time at school?

0:00:460:00:49

No. Because we get to miss double science.

0:00:490:00:52

Deputy head, Mr Potter, has been charged

0:00:530:00:55

with looking after the visitor.

0:00:550:00:58

I like it! Give me more!

0:00:580:01:00

Give me less.

0:01:000:01:02

Ah, you must be the photographer.

0:01:020:01:04

Blake Papaway.

0:01:040:01:06

Pleased to meet you.

0:01:060:01:07

Stop right there.

0:01:070:01:09

Don't move a muscle.

0:01:090:01:10

The light is perfect!

0:01:100:01:11

See how it brings out the bone structure?

0:01:110:01:14

Well, I did do some modelling as a young man.

0:01:140:01:16

I was right. I look amazing.

0:01:170:01:21

I think it's me eyes!

0:01:210:01:22

And me hair.

0:01:220:01:24

And me face.

0:01:240:01:25

-Well, if you would like to step this way...

-Sure thing, fella.

0:01:250:01:28

This is where you'll be taking the photographs.

0:01:280:01:32

Sure, I can make this work.

0:01:320:01:34

Go and fetch me my kit, would you, matey?

0:01:340:01:36

BELL RINGS

0:01:440:01:46

As Mr Potter struggles with the kit,

0:01:460:01:48

Martin has a music lesson with Miss Glock.

0:01:480:01:50

Ah, Martin. Hello.

0:01:510:01:54

Let's start with something simple, OK?

0:01:540:01:56

-OK.

-The saxophonium.

0:01:560:01:59

Really, Miss? I've never played it before.

0:01:590:02:01

I'm not going to give you any instruction, OK?

0:02:010:02:03

Let me see what you got.

0:02:030:02:05

HE PLAYS FALTERINGLY

0:02:070:02:10

Oh, my Blige!

0:02:100:02:12

He's a genius!

0:02:120:02:14

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:02:140:02:15

Barlow!

0:02:150:02:17

What do you want, Gary Barlow?

0:02:180:02:19

How did you hear about him so fast?

0:02:210:02:23

Yes, he is a genius.

0:02:230:02:25

No, no. No!

0:02:250:02:27

OK, I ask.

0:02:270:02:29

Are you free to fly to LA this evening?

0:02:290:02:31

No, I've got Scouts.

0:02:310:02:32

He's got Scouts.

0:02:320:02:34

What do you want me to do, Barlow?

0:02:340:02:37

(Barlow...)

0:02:370:02:39

Right. He wants you to play on his new album.

0:02:390:02:41

Talk to him, please.

0:02:410:02:43

Hello?

0:02:430:02:44

It's someone calling from your bank.

0:02:460:02:48

No, it's Barlow.

0:02:480:02:49

He's very tricksy.

0:02:490:02:50

I can't, I've got Scouts.

0:02:520:02:54

He's very persistent, isn't he, Miss?

0:02:540:02:56

That's one word for him.

0:02:560:02:58

Now, play!

0:02:580:02:59

SAXOPHONE SCREECHES

0:03:020:03:04

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:03:040:03:05

Ignore that!

0:03:050:03:07

Lovely, lovely. And bring it up.

0:03:070:03:10

For Mr Potter, looking after Blake Papaway

0:03:100:03:13

is proving to be a challenge.

0:03:130:03:14

Oh, where's he gone?

0:03:160:03:18

BELL RINGS

0:03:180:03:20

As Mr Potter searches the school, 9B are in ITC,

0:03:200:03:23

where Mrs Haqvindeer has the latest virtual reality headsets,

0:03:230:03:27

purely for educational purposes, of course.

0:03:270:03:30

Duck! Incoming!

0:03:310:03:32

ZAP!

0:03:320:03:34

Man down, man down!

0:03:340:03:36

Billy, take this laser sword

0:03:360:03:38

and defend the left flank.

0:03:380:03:39

Mrs Haqvindeer...

0:03:410:03:42

Mr Potter!

0:03:470:03:48

Mrs Haqvindeer, what is going on?

0:03:480:03:52

I was just teaching the class how to use virtual reality glasses

0:03:520:03:57

to do a spreadsheet.

0:03:570:03:59

But I can't work it out.

0:03:590:04:01

Well, I am a lot younger than you, Mrs Haqvindeer,

0:04:020:04:05

and a lot cleverer than this lot.

0:04:050:04:08

THEY LAUGH

0:04:080:04:09

Maybe I should have a look.

0:04:090:04:11

If you insist.

0:04:110:04:13

LASERS SHOOT AND ZAP

0:04:130:04:14

Argh!

0:04:140:04:15

Argh!

0:04:150:04:17

Oh!

0:04:170:04:18

CHILDREN LAUGH

0:04:180:04:19

HE GASPS FOR BREATH

0:04:190:04:22

That's not a spreadsheet.

0:04:230:04:25

That's aliens and tentacles and teeth and...

0:04:250:04:28

This is Tentacular Toothy Aliens 4.

0:04:310:04:34

-It's a game!

-Oh, you're right.

0:04:340:04:36

I'll send it back to the company and explain that I made a mistake.

0:04:370:04:41

What a featherbrain I am!

0:04:420:04:45

We're so lucky you came in when you did.

0:04:450:04:47

-Very well.

-Thank you, Mr Potter.

0:04:490:04:52

Don't worry, children, we can do our spreadsheets now.

0:04:520:04:56

-What a noob.

-CHILDREN LAUGH

0:04:590:05:01

Headsets on.

0:05:010:05:02

Time to avenge ourselves.

0:05:020:05:05

For Martin.

0:05:050:05:06

-ALL:

-Martin!

0:05:060:05:08

Argh!

0:05:100:05:12

BELL RINGS

0:05:120:05:14

Break time and, while Blake Papaway photographs his favourite subject,

0:05:140:05:17

Mrs Mark is looking for her favourite pupil.

0:05:170:05:20

I just love school photo day.

0:05:210:05:23

And this year, Markey and I are going to have

0:05:230:05:26

our photo taken together.

0:05:260:05:28

We can't wait!

0:05:280:05:30

-Your mum's a teacher.

-No, she's not.

-Yeah, she is.

0:05:300:05:32

-She's not.

-Markey!

-She is.

-She's not.

-She is.

0:05:320:05:35

-She's not, though.

-She is.

0:05:350:05:36

-Mark!

-You haven't seen me!

0:05:360:05:38

Markey!

0:05:400:05:41

Has anyone seen Mark?

0:05:420:05:44

-SHE SCREAMS:

-Mark!

0:05:450:05:48

Where is that photographer?

0:05:530:05:55

CAMERA CLICKS SEVERAL TIMES

0:05:550:05:58

With school photos temporarily on hold,

0:06:020:06:04

Year Nine head outside for a lesson with Bruce Turnip.

0:06:040:06:08

-G'day, kids.

-CHILDREN:

-G'day, cobber.

0:06:080:06:10

Fair dinks. So, predators.

0:06:100:06:14

You've got your big five - croc, shark, redback spider,

0:06:140:06:18

box jelly and snake.

0:06:180:06:21

And hungry koala.

0:06:210:06:23

Six!

0:06:230:06:24

-Bonza.

-I don't think we have any of those in this country, sir.

0:06:240:06:28

That's exactly what they want you to think, tractor.

0:06:280:06:31

But don't come whingeing to me when you've had your arm taken off

0:06:310:06:34

by a bear in a tree.

0:06:340:06:35

-I won't.

-Good on you.

0:06:350:06:37

Oh, strewth, but it's hot out here today.

0:06:370:06:40

Now, speaking of predators, I've got something to show you.

0:06:400:06:44

Stand well back.

0:06:440:06:46

Earlier today,

0:06:460:06:48

I captured a snake.

0:06:480:06:49

His markings are unmistakable.

0:06:500:06:52

He's venomous and he's angry.

0:06:520:06:55

But rather than leave him be, I picked him up

0:06:550:06:58

and put him in this bag.

0:06:580:06:59

Oh!

0:07:030:07:05

Look at him!

0:07:050:07:07

Little ripper.

0:07:070:07:08

That's a hosepipe, sir.

0:07:080:07:10

Is anyone else roasting hot?

0:07:120:07:15

PIGEON COOS

0:07:150:07:16

Shark! Get down! Shark, shark!

0:07:160:07:18

-A shark?

-Yeah, mate.

0:07:180:07:20

In the sky?

0:07:200:07:22

Fair point.

0:07:220:07:24

Back on your feet, everyone.

0:07:240:07:25

Fellas, we've got ourselves a situation.

0:07:270:07:29

I appear to have accidentally released the snake.

0:07:300:07:34

-Hosepipe.

-The adrenaline's affecting my temperature control.

0:07:340:07:38

But don't worry.

0:07:380:07:40

All I have to do is...

0:07:400:07:42

That was a mistake! He's madder than a bunyip in a billabong!

0:07:460:07:50

If I cark it, find a girl called Sheila and tell her I love her!

0:07:500:07:53

Doesn't matter which one.

0:07:530:07:54

BELL RINGS

0:07:540:07:55

It's been a pleasure teaching you all.

0:07:550:07:57

Now get indoors!

0:07:570:07:58

Argh! Ah!

0:07:580:08:02

Strewth, it's hot out here!

0:08:020:08:03

Next up, 9B will be testing their general knowledge

0:08:050:08:07

in general studies, with Mr Schofield.

0:08:070:08:10

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:08:100:08:12

Hello, and welcome to General Studies.

0:08:120:08:14

The subject where literally any topic could crop up and...

0:08:140:08:19

-ALL:

-Often does!

0:08:190:08:21

Joining me today are two families hoping to win a fortune, so...

0:08:210:08:26

..let's meet them.

0:08:270:08:29

Billy, introduce us to your family.

0:08:300:08:32

They're not my family. They're just next to me on the register.

0:08:320:08:35

-CANNED LAUGHTER

-Ho-ho-ho! Great anecdote.

0:08:350:08:37

Jasmine, what about your family?

0:08:370:08:39

They're not my family either.

0:08:390:08:40

-Oh. Lovely stuff.

-AUDIENCE AWWS

0:08:400:08:42

So, let's get on with the first question.

0:08:420:08:45

We asked 100 students,

0:08:450:08:48

"What is your favourite lesson?"

0:08:480:08:50

Billy, what was their answer?

0:08:550:08:58

-Break time.

-AUDIENCE OOHS

0:08:580:09:00

Break time. It's a good answer.

0:09:000:09:02

Let's see if it's right.

0:09:020:09:04

Our survey says...

0:09:040:09:06

-BUZZER SOUNDS

-Uh-uh!

0:09:060:09:08

-AUDIENCE GROANS

-Ho-ho! It's not there!

0:09:080:09:10

It was a good try, but of course break time's not actually a lesson.

0:09:100:09:13

CANNED LAUGHTER

0:09:130:09:15

Tahj?

0:09:150:09:16

-Double maths.

-AUDIENCE OOHS

0:09:160:09:18

Ho-ho! Tahj, if it's up there, I'll give you the points myself.

0:09:180:09:23

Let's see if double maths is there.

0:09:230:09:25

-BUZZER SOUNDS

-Uh-uh!

0:09:260:09:28

-AUDIENCE SIGHS

-Wrong again.

0:09:280:09:30

So, Jasmine family, start conferring.

0:09:300:09:33

So, it's all come down to Emily.

0:09:330:09:35

Emily, when surveyed,

0:09:360:09:38

which subject do you think that the students of Dockbridge High

0:09:380:09:41

said was their favourite lesson?

0:09:410:09:43

Sir, who ran this survey?

0:09:450:09:47

Why, that would be me -

0:09:470:09:49

your host and General Studies teacher Mr Schofield.

0:09:490:09:53

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:09:530:09:55

Then I think I'm going to go with...

0:09:550:09:57

General Studies?

0:09:570:09:58

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-General Studies.

0:09:580:10:00

Let's see how it fared out.

0:10:000:10:02

Was it...?

0:10:020:10:03

Oh, it's the top answer!

0:10:030:10:04

Yes, when asked by their General Studies teacher,

0:10:070:10:09

100% of students said that General Studies was

0:10:090:10:13

their favourite lesson of all time.

0:10:130:10:16

Tell me, Emily, how on earth did you know that?

0:10:160:10:19

Just a guess, sir.

0:10:190:10:20

-CANNED LAUGHTER

-Ho-ho! Well done.

0:10:200:10:22

Join us next week, when two more families will be trying

0:10:220:10:25

to win a fortune.

0:10:250:10:27

Goodbye!

0:10:270:10:28

Wait, when do we get our fortune?

0:10:290:10:31

Oh, just smile and wave, Billy.

0:10:310:10:33

BELL RINGS

0:10:340:10:36

Lunchtime, and while Blake Papaway paps away,

0:10:360:10:39

textiles teacher Miss Dior-Durant has some serious work to do...

0:10:390:10:43

on her vlog.

0:10:430:10:45

Welcome to Dior Durant's fashion wideos.

0:10:450:10:48

Like, share and subscribe.

0:10:480:10:51

Today I'm showing you my look book for school photo time.

0:10:510:10:55

So let's begin.

0:10:550:10:56

Bandanna.

0:10:560:10:59

Very fashion forward.

0:10:590:11:01

Paparazzi take you very seriously if you wear bandanna.

0:11:010:11:04

Rihanna knows it.

0:11:040:11:06

This is shawl.

0:11:060:11:08

Very now.

0:11:080:11:10

Very old lady.

0:11:100:11:11

Victoria Beckham say, "I have shawl, I love it!"

0:11:120:11:16

I say, "No, Victoria, that is scarf."

0:11:160:11:18

She cry.

0:11:180:11:20

And to complete the look...

0:11:200:11:22

beard, of course!

0:11:220:11:23

So hipster.

0:11:230:11:25

And remember, lose smiles in photos.

0:11:250:11:28

You want to look like fool?

0:11:280:11:29

So, click likes, shares and subscribes.

0:11:290:11:32

Not subscribing - so last season.

0:11:320:11:34

Miss, we're ready for our photo, now.

0:11:340:11:37

Wunderbar!

0:11:370:11:39

BELL RINGS

0:11:390:11:41

Over in maths, Mr Conundrum has another

0:11:410:11:44

purely hypothetical maths problem.

0:11:440:11:47

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

0:11:470:11:49

So...

0:11:490:11:51

if a man goes on a 30-minute run during his free period...

0:11:510:11:55

..but it takes him 30 minutes longer than he thought it would

0:11:560:12:01

because he's not as fit as he remembers...

0:12:010:12:04

and he burns 50 calories for every minute that he runs...

0:12:040:12:08

..how many calories

0:12:120:12:14

will he have burnt off?

0:12:140:12:15

Yes, Tahj?

0:12:160:12:18

3,000 calories, sir.

0:12:180:12:20

Right. That is a lot.

0:12:200:12:23

And, for an extra mark,

0:12:230:12:25

what will happen if he doesn't have time to replace

0:12:250:12:28

those calories before his next lesson?

0:12:280:12:32

He might faint, sir.

0:12:320:12:34

Right.

0:12:340:12:35

PUPILS GASP

0:12:380:12:39

Quiet reading?

0:12:390:12:40

BELL RINGS

0:12:400:12:42

CAMERA CLICKS

0:12:420:12:44

-There you are!

-I'm sorry, fella. I got lost...

0:12:440:12:47

in the beauty of me own face.

0:12:470:12:49

Come on.

0:12:490:12:51

BELL RINGS

0:12:520:12:55

Oh... Oh, come on - more is more, Martin!

0:12:550:12:57

As Mr Christopher puts the finishing touches to his look...

0:12:570:13:00

COUGHING

0:13:000:13:03

..it's finally time for photo time.

0:13:030:13:05

Right, sit on the stool.

0:13:110:13:13

Look at me.

0:13:130:13:14

And chin up.

0:13:140:13:15

Higher.

0:13:150:13:17

Higher.

0:13:170:13:18

Higher.

0:13:180:13:19

-Say cheese.

-Cheese.

0:13:190:13:21

Now put this on.

0:13:210:13:23

Where's your horse, Emily? Where's your horse?

0:13:230:13:25

-CHILDREN LAUGH

-Get off your stool and look for it!

0:13:250:13:28

Now gallop! We're a horse now.

0:13:280:13:29

Gallop, gallop! Fabulous!

0:13:290:13:31

Next!

0:13:310:13:32

Now dance! Dance for me.

0:13:340:13:36

Shimmy. Fabulous!

0:13:360:13:37

Next!

0:13:370:13:39

Eat that carrot. Eat it.

0:13:390:13:42

The camera loves you.

0:13:420:13:43

-Look pensive!

-What's pensive?

0:13:430:13:45

That's pensive. Next!

0:13:450:13:47

Give me your owl eyes.

0:13:470:13:49

Now hoot.

0:13:490:13:50

SHE HOOTS

0:13:500:13:52

Next!

0:13:520:13:53

Next!

0:13:530:13:54

Next!

0:13:540:13:55

Next!

0:13:550:13:57

I like it.

0:13:570:13:58

BELL RINGS

0:13:580:14:00

School photo day is over, at last.

0:14:000:14:02

That was certainly different.

0:14:020:14:04

I'm not sure my mum's going to want any of those photos.

0:14:040:14:07

What? What are you talking about?

0:14:070:14:08

I can't wait to see them.

0:14:080:14:09

OK, guys, I'm ready for my close-up.

0:14:120:14:15

Where's everyone gone?

0:14:170:14:19

They don't know what they're missing.

0:14:190:14:21

It's not often you see a face like this.

0:14:210:14:23

MUSIC: Fame by David Bowie

0:14:230:14:26

# Fame, makes a man take things over

0:14:260:14:28

# Fame, lets him loose, hard to swallow

0:14:300:14:35

# Fame, puts you there where things are hollow

0:14:350:14:39

# Fame... #

0:14:400:14:42

BELL RINGS

0:14:420:14:43

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS