World Book Day Class Dismissed

This is Dockbridge High, a school just like yours.

For two years our cameras have followed day-to-day life here.

There have been highs and lows.

HE YELLS

We return for another year to find out how these talented teachers

continue to excite and inspire a generation of

young, eager minds at this most ordinary of schools.

SHE SCREAMS

This is Class Dismissed.

BELL RINGS

It's World Book Day.

As costumes were not compulsory,

Martin from Year Ten is the only pupil to have dressed up.

Hey, guys.

Fortunately he's not alone,

because for English teacher Mr Capp it's the highlight of the year.

Oh! Nice threads, Martin.

Ah!

World Book Day is going to be sick.

I've been planning this costume for 14 hours, 364 days.

Skills!

Who are you meant to be, sir?

As if you don't know already!

Here's a little clue.

Get it?

Mr Darcy?

From Pride and Prejudice?

ALL: Oh! Yeah!

-No idea.

-Nope.

Why is he so wet?

BELL RINGS

In form time, Year Ten tutor Mrs Mark is also

excited about World Book Day.

Good morning, everyone.

Good morning, Mrs Mark.

Now, today we're going to have a wonderful time celebrating books.

Yes, there's something for everyone when it comes to books.

Lovely historical novels like War and Peace.

That's over 1,000 pages long.

There's also books on bird-watching.

Super-cool.

And books about love.

Yes, that's right.

Romance novels can help you a lot with your own feelings and emotions.

Oh, my days.

Books can help you understand the sorts of emotions involved in,

say, I don't know...

being a teenager?

As can poems about love.

-They're my favourites.

-I don't like where this is going.

When I first met Mr Mark, that's little Marky's daddy,

we wrote romantic poems together all the time.

In fact, I'm lucky enough to have one here.

LAUGHTER

Who wants to hear it?

-We'd love to, Miss.

-Wonderful!

Now, first I'll need a volunteer to read Mr Mark's parts. Um...

Purely at random, Mark! You can do it. Up you come.

Oh, do I have to?

We used to read a line out at a time. It was so adorable.

I'll go first.

SHE CLEARS THROAT

I love your handsome face.

You're my son, my moon, my sky.

I love your fine, strong jaw, and your splendid feminine...

I ain't saying that!

Mr Mark always loved my thighs.

LAUGHTER

I'll read on.

You're my dream man.

You're all that I seek.

-Read on, Marky.

-Yeah, Marky.

Let us cement our love with a great big kiss on the cheek.

Oh, go on, then.

Mmm!

Oh!

LAUGHTER

Ironically, that's how his father reacted

when it came to the kissing bit.

SHE LAUGHS

Hmm.

In English, Mr Capp is celebrating books by explaining

one of the greatest romances of English literature.

So, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.

#swoon, #romance, #yougetme?

Why do you keep doing that, sir?

MR CAPP LAUGHS

Banter! It's funny, Billy, cos you totes know why.

King of irony right here!

I'm obviously Mr Darcy, yeah? Jumps in the lake?

Elizabeth Bennet gets hella wild for him when he gets wet?

We still don't know what you're going on about, sir.

You love it, right?

So, the Bennets. I'm talking five sisters, yeah?

I'm talking pushy mum, I'm talking marrying a rich guy.

Sound familiar, anyone?

Hmm? Hmm?

Five sisters. I mean, it's basically the Kardashians.

It's totes the same story!

Yeah, but the Bennets weren't rich like the Kardashians, were they?

-No.

-Were they always taking selfies of themselves?

No!

-Were their children called North, East, South and West?

-No, but...

-Were they married to R&B stars?

-Well, kind of. I mean...

-No.

-So, how are they like the Kardashians?

Would this happen to the Kardashians?

-No.

-Would this?

-No.

-Does this?

No.

Banter!

Break time, and even the reception staff are getting

into the spirit for World Book Day.

Hello?

-Ah! And welcome to Hogwarts, muggle.

-Yeah. Hi.

I need a permission slip for the school trip next week.

A-ha!

I cannot give you a form unless who I am, you correctly guess.

-You're quite obviously Harry...

-I'm not finished.

Guess wisely, for if you wrongly speak

I cannot give you the form you seek.

-I know who you are. You're Harry...

-Hold on, hold on.

Cos there is a lot more.

-I am a character from a book, but which one? Take a closer look.

-Oh.

-Hang on. There's a form right here.

-Cheers!

Harry Potter.

She didn't have a clue.

In citizenship, Joy teaches everyone about her favourite book,

the Little Book of Relaxation.

As I was saying, it's entirely thanks to this book

that I retain my positive outlook.

And calm demeanour.

I know most of the book by heart. Let's see.

It goes, "Maintain...

"..a relaxed outlook...

"..by never...

"..raising your voice!"

-You don't seem very relaxed.

-I'm very relaxed!

Right, what's the next bit? Oh...

You've made me lose my train of thought now.

Let me get the Little Book of Relaxation. Hold on.

Right.

Where is it?

I put it in my bag this morning! Right, who stole it?

-Who stole the Little Book of Relaxation?

-No-one did, Miss.

If you had it this morning, it must be somewhere in this room.

Everyone help me find it! Right, move out of my way.

You're all going to be so calm when we find this book!

Everyone empty your bags! Give me that.

Right! Well, stolen! It's now a criminal matter.

Hello? Security, yes, it's me. Yeah, it's Joy. It's happened again.

The Little Book of Relaxation, come quick!

What do you mean I'm wasting your time?

Hello? Hello?

Hold on, Miss, is this it?

Oh.

Well done, Joy.

You've caused a right scene there.

Classic Joy.

I'm just going to get in here before I ruin everything again.

-You haven't ruined anything, Miss.

-Joy!

Maybe there's something in here that could help.

Drama next, and Head of Arts - not including actual art -

Mr Christopher, can't wait to share his favourite book with the class.

This is going to make your World Book Day.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Oh, don't look at me. This is too embarrassing.

-My costume's cray and you're all going to laugh.

-We won't laugh, sir.

No, it's OK, I give you permission to laugh. This is hilarious.

Comedy gold. Ready?

Ah!

Don't you wear that every day, sir? What book are you meant to be?

Duh!

Orange dance top. Hair parted in the middle. Embarrassing.

I'm me ten years ago. Look how much I've changed.

Today I'll be reading from one of the most important literary

works of our time.

My autobiography. Mr Christopher: Self Taught Talent.

You Can't Learn It, So Don't Try.

Chapter One: Born With Jazz Hands.

Sir, sir, sir.

Martin? How dare you interrupt this important literary performance.

-Sir...

-Don't push it, Martin.

When I was born,

all the doctors in the hospital had to leave the room...

-I really need to...

-..because they were so jealous.

-I cried in a perfectly pitched high C.

-No, listen, sir...

Other babies, Martin,

didn't want to sit next to me at rhyme time,

because my Twinkle Twinkle Little Star actions were dazzling.

-Listen, sir...

-All right, that's enough.

What in the world could be more important than me

reading a book about myself?

There's been a water leak in your office, sir,

and everybody's GCSE coursework's been ruined.

It's a disaster.

I didn't crawl like other babies.

My first step developed into a perfectly executed pirouette.

The best books are the ones about me, so people tell me.

Yeah, but what happened about the GCSE coursework?

Chapter Two: Tap Dancing At Six Months Old.

Lunchtime, and librarian Mrs Winstone is not enjoying World Book

Day as much as expected.

This is a big day for all our family.

And you do this?

You think it's fun to come into my house dressed as Dumbledore?

-I do not care for the Harry Potter series.

-I'm not Dumbledore.

I'm Gandalf from Lord of the Rings.

Then what's with Dobby the House Elf over there?

He's a hobbit.

-Then what's with Lucius Malfoy over there?

-He's Legolas.

This is exactly why I don't like those books! They're all the same!

-Hagrid, show them out.

-I'm Ron.

-Don't you start.

I'm more of a Where's Wally? fan myself.

There he is.

In the last lesson of the day, Year Ten are about to

meet design and technology teacher Mr Spittle.

They just don't know it yet.

Oh! Oh, hello.

Welcome to the creation station.

Where the only item on the curriculum is wood fun.

Now, I've got some worksheets on my desk somewhere.

Er... Ah!

There. There we go.

Now, I missed out on lunch, so does anyone mind if I eat mine

whilst you work?

And, of course, feel free to eat your snacks, too.

-We're allowed to eat food in class? Amazing.

-Off you go.

And enjoy your adventure to the wonderful world of woodwork.

Don't mind me.

Excuse me.

Yeah, cop hold of this. Right.

Ah!

I thank you.

Sir, why are you eating cereal for lunch?

-THROUGH MOUTHFUL:

-Well, basically, this was my breakfast.

But at break I had some bread and some brie.

Mmm.

And I basically forgot.

Bonkers, isn't it?

And so ends another successful World Book Day, as the pupils

and staff go home with books in their hearts.

There's Wally! Wally! I found him!

-Do you think we're ever going to get a normal teacher at this school?

-No!

Wally!

MUSIC: C'est La Vie by B*Witched

# Say you will, say you won't, say you'll do what I don't

# Say you're true, say to me,

# Wanna say c'est la vie

# C'est la vie. #