Spaceman Creeped Out

The Curious.

They say he collects strange tales.

HE DRUMS

And if you ever hear his whistle,

you know something creepy is about to unfold.

No-one knows where he's from...

..or where he's going to.

But it's said that his happenings are connected somehow.

Just no-one knows how.

Being away from home is scary enough.

But imagine if home was on the other side of the universe,

and you had no idea how you ever going to get back.

Mum?

Boo!

Oh, come on.

You're not even a little scared?

Nothing scary happens in the country, remember?

That's why you moved us here.

I saw you flinch.

You definitely flinched.

How was your first day?

What's this?

Oh, they paired me up with this kid called Spud to show me around,

who ate like ten bags of crisps.

And whenever he spoke, he just sprayed them everywhere.

Blah, blah, blah.

-His name was Spud?

-It's a nickname, Mum.

Ah!

Oh, well, forget about him. I found you a new friend.

-The neighbour's son.

-We have neighbours?

All the way out here?

-Yep, I invited him over.

-Mum!

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come on, what's the worst that could happen?

Hi, and you must be Henry.

-MUFFLED:

-But everybody calls me Spud.

Glynn Carnival, the kid that used to live in your house,

had a fort up ahead.

I guess it's yours now.

Did you have a fort in London?

We didn't have a garden.

You didn't have a garden?

What did you play on?

Xbox.

Glynn Carnival, he wouldn't shut up about this place.

Said a World War II bomb had exploded here.

If it's all the same to you, I think I'll be heading back.

Oh, really?

I'm on the final level of Battleworn.

Are you sure this is a bomb crater?

It looks more like a...

..landing site.

What kind of landing site do you find in the middle of nowhere?

A crash landing one!

Come on!

I should tell you,

this body's built for comfort, not for speed.

Look!

Where's the rest of it?

Planes break up on impact. Parts spread over miles.

I've never heard of any planes crashing round here.

This is all overgrown.

It must've happened years ago.

There!

I think this is the black box.

Hello, it's not black.

It's a recording device that tells you what caused the crash.

You, sir, are a geek.

You can seriously fix it?

Man, you're a total genius.

My best mate, a total genius.

I think I'll need a bit more room.

If we can hook some power up to it,

we might be able to get this thing working.

Is this going to take a while?

Maybe I should sleep over.

Oh, look at that.

It's done.

Well, go on, then.

Aren't you going to press it?

We don't know what that symbol means.

What if it means, don't press it?

Well, why bother fixing it if you don't want to find out what it does?

You're still a genius to me.

MACHINE POWERS ON

FAINT HUMMING

It works.

Did you see it? Did you see it?

What are you doing? It's the middle of the night!

I've got to go find out what the purple light is.

Come on.

What? You scared?

Yeah, I'm scared.

Where I come from, you don't go out in the middle of the night.

We'll go look in the morning.

It's a light.

How are we going to see it in the morning?

Did you see that movie where the plane crashed on the mountain?

And the passengers had no food, except these chocolate bars.

And when the chocolate bars ran out, they started eating each other.

If it came to it, would you eat me?

Only to shut you up!

That's where it's coming from.

THEY SCREAM

-We can do this.

-No, we can't.

-Yeah, we can.

It's a space suit.

No...

It's some kind of...

..escape capsule.

A life-support system.

Keeping him asleep until...

No.

There's no way it could stay powered up for this many years.

Unless the technology was...

BEEPING

..alien.

BEEPING

What did you do?

Run!

THEY SCREAM

-Mum, Mum!

-Thomas?

Outside, someone's chasing us.

OK, all right. I'm coming.

What on earth were you doing outside, anyway?

Good question.

There!

Wait here. Call the police.

DOOR OPENS

PHONE DIALS

PHONE RINGS

CAT HISSES

But, if it's not outside, then...

HEAVY BREATHING

THEY GASP

What planet is this?

He's a kid.

Check out his suit!

I have been separated from my home.

I must return to them. But for that, I need your help.

-I should get my mum.

-No!

She must not discover me.

I can't lie to her.

She'll call the police, Thomas.

They'll take him away, and experiment on him.

OK.

So, your bogeyman was a cute, little kitty.

I told you nothing scary ever happens in the country.

Why were you outside anyway?

BEEPING

It was a stupid dare.

We got carried away.

I'm really glad you're making friends, Thomas,

but the next time you decide to have a sleepover, let me know, OK?

Now, go to bed.

-That's the best you could come up with?

-What?

It's the only thing my mum wouldn't miss.

I wore it to my cousin's wedding.

I can blend in, yes?

Those symbols on your translator, is that your language?

Yes, it is not as sophisticated as yours.

No! What are you doing?

It is highly sensitive.

One wrong button, and that pod would launch,

sending you hurtling endlessly through space.

Coolness!

What?!

He doesn't look like aliens in the movies.

Do you think he's got any freaky powers?

HE SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE

Hearing.

What is that?

I am laughing.

Any more superpowers you want to tell us about?

Telepathy, I can read minds.

You, Thomas.

You wish Spud's voicebox could be disabled.

Spud, you are concerned Thomas will smell the gas you regularly emit

from your body.

What are you looking for?

HE SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE

It is a machine for communicating with my planet's satellites.

With it, I can call my family.

They will rescue me.

It cannot be seen.

Mate, have you not seen Cast Away?

The parts of your ship will be spread out for miles.

It literally could be anywhere.

I saw where the...

HE SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE

..came down.

It landed amongst rocks.

What kind of rocks?

That's the rock face. I know that place.

Then you will lead us there.

We are hiking.

Not surviving an apocalypse.

Got you something.

Size six, right?

They were my brother's. He's in the army now.

Erm, thanks?

So, where are you two adventurers going?

To find a transmitter for an alien that needs to call his people?

THEY LAUGH

Well, say hi to your little, green friend for me.

And be back before dark.

THEY SIGH

I'm all right, thanks.

On your planet, are your alien movies about us?

What is a movie?

-How's your takeaways?

-Rays?

What's your favourite flavour of crisps?

You start to get used to it.

No questions from you?

What's your name?

HE SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE

Perhaps you give me an Earth name.

Hm...

I think you look like a Stan.

Then, I am a Stan.

ALARM BLARES

Whoa, what's happening?

You OK, Stan?

My life-support, it is low.

-Maybe we should go back.

-No!

I have no choice.

I need to get home.

Thomas, I sense you understand.

He needs to get home. Let's keep going.

How much further? I don't know how long he can last.

We have arrived.

What's that up there?

Is that your transmitter?

HE GROANS

LIFE SUPPORT BEEPS

I must recharge my life support.

Hurry, please.

How we going to reach it?

That big pack...

..and you don't have a single thing in there we can throw up

to hook a transmitter?

Sorry, I didn't know it was going to be on the top of the cliff.

We don't have time to argue.

He's getting weak.

-I'm going to climb up.

-Are you crazy?!

I have to get home...

..him home.

Fine.

What's my job?

You stay there, and if I lose my balance, you can break my fall.

He offends you.

Glynn Carnival couldn't get far enough away from me.

Now, him.

As the only kid for miles around, it's hard not to take it personally.

He thinks of old friends, not new ones.

He thinks of you.

You're new.

I've got it.

Thomas, my people are forever in your debt.

Aren't you going to charge your life-support system?

He needs to call home first.

It's important.

Thank you.

For what?

Thomas, you understand.

I miss home too.

SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE

After it's done, I must sleep.

This is where we say goodbye...

..for now.

SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE

This is the coolest thing that will ever happen to us.

SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE

-What are you doing?

-Think about it, Spud.

We'd have the world's first alien selfie.

Yeah, you and your best mate.

CAMERA CLICKS

That looks like the transmitter on Stan's chest.

This is the message from the leader of your army,

Commander Kirkroy.

I am alive, and have discovered our target planet.

-What have you done now?

-That's Stan's voice.

Leader of an army?

I am sending you the coordinates of my pod.

Hone in on it for my location.

I've made contact with the inhabitant,

and learned they are a pathetic race who will offer no resistance.

Let a full scale invasion commence.

He's no kid.

End of transmission.

Stan's a baddie.

You lied to us.

I never said I was a child. You judge on looks.

Ask Spud, the boy you reject, because he is covered in fried

potato crumbs.

Thanks to you, my army are now zeroing in on this pod.

Do not feel bad, human.

You've only helped destroy your entire planet.

Hey, Commander Stan,

it's customary on our planet to grant the prisoners of war one

-last request.

-What are you doing?

HE SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE

What are your requests, children?

Just that...

..I want my mum to know I love her.

Oh. And you?

I was just curious.

What's the alien word for launch?

Launch.

Thank you.

THEY COUGH

No!

Hurtling endlessly through space.

The coordinates your army locked on to from your pod's tracker...

..are going to be in the middle of nowhere.

-Spud, you just saved the world.

-Yes!

I'm sorry, man, but you kind of started it, so...

At least he looks like us.

He'll be able to blend in.

Looks can be deceiving.

But what about instincts?

We all trust them...

..like we trust our friends.

But should we?

Take a real close look at yours.

Are they really who they say they are?