Crumfan Danger Mouse

Chief!

# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

# He's the ace The ace

# He's amazing Amazing

# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #

The United Nations, where every country on Earth comes together

in the spirit of peace and goodwill.

THEY ARGUE

As if!

Luckily, the world's top secret agent is on the case.

I have a feeling there's more going on here than meets the eye.

We must not fight. We must respect each other's great countries.

-COMPUTER:

-We must not fight.

We must respect each other's great countries.

Say you look like a smelly sausage with a beard.

Someone's interfering with the automatic translators.

PENFOLD GASPS

Crumhorn! That's it, I'm going home.

Let's find out what he's up to before he discovers we're here.

Professor, we need disguises to help us blend in.

There's a selection on its way.

-Mmm. Very nice.

-Ooh, snazzy!

Remember, you don't want to stand out, so choose wisely.

He doesn't have a clue that we're here.

Danger Mouse!

Ian! I thought you were in prison?

They let me out cos I was too annoying!

-HE LAUGHS

-Those guys crack me up.

So, good news! I can be your partner!

Say yes or I'll do bad things.

Selfie!

OK, PARTNER, here's what I need.

Hey! You accidentally trapped me in this cupboard!

Danger Mouse? Hello?

A mere billion dollars a month,

and Crum Corp will handle all your peacekeeping needs.

You two never have to talk to each other ever again.

That was close.

-He nearly ruined everything.

-Ian's just a Danger fan, Chief.

He's not doing any harm.

It's OK, I escaped!

Can you sign my Danger underwear? Hold on a second...

It's impossible to do anything with you around.

Ooh! Interesting.

Deploy Danger Grappling Hook.

CRUMHORN GROANS

Hi! I'm Ian. You're Crumhorn!

Marcy, if you've brought a child to work, you're fired.

-Why are you staring at me?

-Cos you're so clever and ruthless.

-HE GASPS

-I like you more

than Danger Mouse now! Can I be your sidekick?

Danger Mouse? Hmm. You may stay.

And don't expect any money, you should have negotiated up front.

-Aren't you going to arrest Crumhorn, Chief?

-No.

Being forced to hang around with Ian is worse than any punishment

I could come up with.

-Job done, Penfold, everything's back to...

-Disaster, DM!

-What's wrong, Colonel?

-Uh...Chief?

Yes, well, I suppose there may be the odd loose end to tie up.

-Crumhorn's behind this.

-Now, Chief, let's not jump to any conclusions.

-ROBOTIC VOICE:

-Bow before Crumhorn.

Maybe he's got a brother?

-Augustus P Crumhorn.

-I'm still not convinced.

Give it up, Crumhorn.

Your New York invasion is finished.

New York. Invasion.

It doesn't ring any bells.

But let me check with my new assistant.

Ian!

What are you doing here?

Hanging out with someone who doesn't lock me in cupboards.

Could we hurry this up?

I may - or may not - have a war to provoke this afternoon.

Three wars?

Oh, thank you, Ian.

Tough luck, Crumhorn. I'm taking you in.

-Your attacks are over for...

-There's been another attack, DM!

You were saying?

TAXI HORNS BEEP

It's not a disaster. People can just get the bus.

BUS HORNS BEEP

It's a DISASTER!

Let this be a lesson to you, Danger Mouse.

If you're going to arrest someone,

make sure it's for something they've actually done.

Yeah, like how Mr C illegally downloaded

-Season 1 of Danger Mouse so he could copy your weapons.

-Do ignore him.

-He's new.

-But if it's not Crumhorn, who is it?

-Only one way to find out, Penfold.

-A painstaking study of the evidence?

I was thinking more...

blasting into space and smashing the satellite!

It is Crumhorn!

Another mistake, Danger Mouse?

Hardly.

Now I have you in custody, there's no chance of a...

-Worldwide catastrophe!

-Getting old now.

Crumhorn's Crumbusters have taken over every important building

-on the planet.

-Don't worry, Colonel.

I've got Crumhorn in handcuffs.

-Oh...

-How did he get the handcuffs off, Chief?

Because I'm quicker, I'm smarter and I own the handcuff company.

And, by the way, when I find out who is really behind this,

I will destroy them and everyone they've ever met

AND everyone who's ever met everyone they've ever met.

Now, where is my assistant? IAN?

-Danger Mouse. Still wearing the ridiculous clothes, I see.

-Huh?

-These are my normal clothes.

-I know.

I've tracked the source of the signal

controlling all of Crumhorn's devices.

There he is, Chief.

Let's see Crumhorn talk his way out of it when we catch him red-handed.

A-ha! Gotcha Crumhorn...'s assistant Ian!

I saw it coming a mile off.

Oh, really? Did you see THIS coming?

-Ian, why are you doing all this?

-Because...

I want to prove myself to my new hero who is totally more

awesome than my last hero.

Well, I'm not sure he is.

-He doesn't glue me into cupboards!

-Well, that's fair.

Still, it's no excuse for global misbehaviour. I'm taking you in.

Deploy Danger Boots.

Grrr!

HE SHOUTS

It was you all along!

I'd actually be impressed

if I didn't own all the buildings you destroyed!

My bad.

And the UN is paying me a fortune to have these Crumbusters

stop all the wars I started.

-Ahem.

-Yes, pretend you didn't hear that.

But, Mr Crumhorn, I'm your biggest fan! Look what I did for you!

This?!

If you were a real fan,

you would know that I like to SECRETLY run the world.

I do not stamp my name on everything like a nerdy little nobody

with no friends!

Now, hang on! You don't speak to my biggest fan like that!

And he has got a friend! Right here!

HE SIGHS

Yes, all right, and another one here.

I'm sorry, Ian, if I'd treated you better,

none of this would have happened.

Well, I'm touched that we've all learned something,

but shall we get on with it?

Deploy Electro-Crum-Net!

PENFOLD SCREAMS

-Hey!

-Fire Ultra-Crum-Tape!

Hey! No fair!

Now I'm going to blow this city up and blame it on,

oh, I don't know, Switzerland,

and then make billions by renting out my army of peacekeepers.

I've a good mind to call the Crum Corp customer service

department and complain about him.

Aw, he's right. I am a nobody.

You're not a nobody. Ouch.

You're the biggest fan of the greatest - ouch -

-secret agent in the world!

-It's the Crumpocalypse, DM!

On the plus side, you didn't interrupt me that time.

There is a huge Crum Missile heading for you.

-It'll take out half the country.

-We're trapped!

-Never fear, Penfold.

-I always save the day. Isn't that right, Ian?

-Mm...I guess.

In fact, how would you like to help me save the country?

-IAN GASPS

-Really? Oh, I don't know...

I was kind of looking forward to losing my temper

and firing all my weapons at you.

Actually, that's exactly what I want you to do.

The combined power of those explosions should short

the Electro-Net and release us.

And it probably won't blow us into tiny pieces.

What do you mean, "should," and what do you mean, "probably"?

-Crum Missile impact in ten seconds.

-Let them rip, Ian!

BEEPING

PENFOLD SCREAMS

Five seconds to impact.

DANGER MOUSE SQUEALS

Good work, partner.

Ooh, you saved me!

Ah!

Oh, we're hugging now. Well, I suppose one hug can't hurt.

Actually, it does, a bit tight.

Penfold, he's hugging me! Penfold!

Sorry, Chief. You're on your own.

# He's the greatest

# He's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #