Crumfan Danger Mouse


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Chief!

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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# He's the ace The ace

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# He's amazing Amazing

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# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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The United Nations, where every country on Earth comes together

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in the spirit of peace and goodwill.

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THEY ARGUE

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As if!

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Luckily, the world's top secret agent is on the case.

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I have a feeling there's more going on here than meets the eye.

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We must not fight. We must respect each other's great countries.

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-COMPUTER:

-We must not fight.

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We must respect each other's great countries.

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Say you look like a smelly sausage with a beard.

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Someone's interfering with the automatic translators.

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PENFOLD GASPS

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Crumhorn! That's it, I'm going home.

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Let's find out what he's up to before he discovers we're here.

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Professor, we need disguises to help us blend in.

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There's a selection on its way.

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-Mmm. Very nice.

-Ooh, snazzy!

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Remember, you don't want to stand out, so choose wisely.

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He doesn't have a clue that we're here.

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Danger Mouse!

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Ian! I thought you were in prison?

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They let me out cos I was too annoying!

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-HE LAUGHS

-Those guys crack me up.

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So, good news! I can be your partner!

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Say yes or I'll do bad things.

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Selfie!

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OK, PARTNER, here's what I need.

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Hey! You accidentally trapped me in this cupboard!

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Danger Mouse? Hello?

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A mere billion dollars a month,

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and Crum Corp will handle all your peacekeeping needs.

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You two never have to talk to each other ever again.

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That was close.

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-He nearly ruined everything.

-Ian's just a Danger fan, Chief.

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He's not doing any harm.

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It's OK, I escaped!

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Can you sign my Danger underwear? Hold on a second...

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It's impossible to do anything with you around.

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Ooh! Interesting.

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Deploy Danger Grappling Hook.

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CRUMHORN GROANS

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Hi! I'm Ian. You're Crumhorn!

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Marcy, if you've brought a child to work, you're fired.

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-Why are you staring at me?

-Cos you're so clever and ruthless.

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-HE GASPS

-I like you more

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than Danger Mouse now! Can I be your sidekick?

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Danger Mouse? Hmm. You may stay.

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And don't expect any money, you should have negotiated up front.

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-Aren't you going to arrest Crumhorn, Chief?

-No.

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Being forced to hang around with Ian is worse than any punishment

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I could come up with.

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-Job done, Penfold, everything's back to...

-Disaster, DM!

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-What's wrong, Colonel?

-Uh...Chief?

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Yes, well, I suppose there may be the odd loose end to tie up.

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-Crumhorn's behind this.

-Now, Chief, let's not jump to any conclusions.

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-ROBOTIC VOICE:

-Bow before Crumhorn.

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Maybe he's got a brother?

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-Augustus P Crumhorn.

-I'm still not convinced.

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Give it up, Crumhorn.

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Your New York invasion is finished.

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New York. Invasion.

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It doesn't ring any bells.

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But let me check with my new assistant.

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Ian!

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What are you doing here?

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Hanging out with someone who doesn't lock me in cupboards.

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Could we hurry this up?

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I may - or may not - have a war to provoke this afternoon.

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Three wars?

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Oh, thank you, Ian.

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Tough luck, Crumhorn. I'm taking you in.

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-Your attacks are over for...

-There's been another attack, DM!

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You were saying?

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TAXI HORNS BEEP

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It's not a disaster. People can just get the bus.

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BUS HORNS BEEP

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It's a DISASTER!

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Let this be a lesson to you, Danger Mouse.

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If you're going to arrest someone,

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make sure it's for something they've actually done.

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Yeah, like how Mr C illegally downloaded

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-Season 1 of Danger Mouse so he could copy your weapons.

-Do ignore him.

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-He's new.

-But if it's not Crumhorn, who is it?

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-Only one way to find out, Penfold.

-A painstaking study of the evidence?

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I was thinking more...

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blasting into space and smashing the satellite!

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It is Crumhorn!

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Another mistake, Danger Mouse?

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Hardly.

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Now I have you in custody, there's no chance of a...

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-Worldwide catastrophe!

-Getting old now.

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Crumhorn's Crumbusters have taken over every important building

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-on the planet.

-Don't worry, Colonel.

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I've got Crumhorn in handcuffs.

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-Oh...

-How did he get the handcuffs off, Chief?

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Because I'm quicker, I'm smarter and I own the handcuff company.

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And, by the way, when I find out who is really behind this,

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I will destroy them and everyone they've ever met

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AND everyone who's ever met everyone they've ever met.

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Now, where is my assistant? IAN?

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-Danger Mouse. Still wearing the ridiculous clothes, I see.

-Huh?

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-These are my normal clothes.

-I know.

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I've tracked the source of the signal

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controlling all of Crumhorn's devices.

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There he is, Chief.

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Let's see Crumhorn talk his way out of it when we catch him red-handed.

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A-ha! Gotcha Crumhorn...'s assistant Ian!

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I saw it coming a mile off.

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Oh, really? Did you see THIS coming?

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-Ian, why are you doing all this?

-Because...

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I want to prove myself to my new hero who is totally more

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awesome than my last hero.

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Well, I'm not sure he is.

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-He doesn't glue me into cupboards!

-Well, that's fair.

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Still, it's no excuse for global misbehaviour. I'm taking you in.

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Deploy Danger Boots.

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Grrr!

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HE SHOUTS

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It was you all along!

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I'd actually be impressed

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if I didn't own all the buildings you destroyed!

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My bad.

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And the UN is paying me a fortune to have these Crumbusters

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stop all the wars I started.

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-Ahem.

-Yes, pretend you didn't hear that.

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But, Mr Crumhorn, I'm your biggest fan! Look what I did for you!

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This?!

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If you were a real fan,

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you would know that I like to SECRETLY run the world.

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I do not stamp my name on everything like a nerdy little nobody

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with no friends!

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Now, hang on! You don't speak to my biggest fan like that!

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And he has got a friend! Right here!

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HE SIGHS

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Yes, all right, and another one here.

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I'm sorry, Ian, if I'd treated you better,

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none of this would have happened.

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Well, I'm touched that we've all learned something,

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but shall we get on with it?

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Deploy Electro-Crum-Net!

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PENFOLD SCREAMS

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-Hey!

-Fire Ultra-Crum-Tape!

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Hey! No fair!

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Now I'm going to blow this city up and blame it on,

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oh, I don't know, Switzerland,

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and then make billions by renting out my army of peacekeepers.

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I've a good mind to call the Crum Corp customer service

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department and complain about him.

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Aw, he's right. I am a nobody.

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You're not a nobody. Ouch.

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You're the biggest fan of the greatest - ouch -

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-secret agent in the world!

-It's the Crumpocalypse, DM!

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On the plus side, you didn't interrupt me that time.

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There is a huge Crum Missile heading for you.

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-It'll take out half the country.

-We're trapped!

-Never fear, Penfold.

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-I always save the day. Isn't that right, Ian?

-Mm...I guess.

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In fact, how would you like to help me save the country?

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-IAN GASPS

-Really? Oh, I don't know...

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I was kind of looking forward to losing my temper

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and firing all my weapons at you.

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Actually, that's exactly what I want you to do.

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The combined power of those explosions should short

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the Electro-Net and release us.

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And it probably won't blow us into tiny pieces.

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What do you mean, "should," and what do you mean, "probably"?

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-Crum Missile impact in ten seconds.

-Let them rip, Ian!

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BEEPING

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PENFOLD SCREAMS

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Five seconds to impact.

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DANGER MOUSE SQUEALS

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Good work, partner.

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Ooh, you saved me!

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Ah!

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Oh, we're hugging now. Well, I suppose one hug can't hurt.

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Actually, it does, a bit tight.

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Penfold, he's hugging me! Penfold!

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Sorry, Chief. You're on your own.

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# He's the greatest

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# He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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