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Colonel Danger Mouse

Animated series. When Colonel K disappears on a free holiday, Danger Mouse pulls rank and assumes the mantle of caretaker colonel.


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Aaaaahhhhh!

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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NARRATOR: Colonel K. For decades he's worked to protect

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his country from evil, never taking a single day off.

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Holiday!

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NARRATOR: Until now, apparently.

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Just to be clear, Professor, you WANT me to break this?

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No, I want you to try.

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The Danger Cannon is indestructible.

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Once it's connected to this...

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BANG!

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That's it! From now on, you can pay for the things you break. COLONEL!

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We're under attack!

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Launch the missiles! THEY GASP

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CHUCKLING Just kidding! I'm on holiday!

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Leave a message at the what-cha-ma-call-it...

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BEEEEEP!

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Ha! With the Colonel away, I'm in charge.

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And paying for damage is just the first change I'm making.

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Hang on, why aren't I in charge?

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Big Mike put ME in charge

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while he nipped off somewhere better for lunch.

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I've only made some minor changes.

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So, danger pie, deadly pie or pie surprise?

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SHE SHRIEKS

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BANG!

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-Surprise!

-Da...

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-MUFFLED:

-Danger Mouse!

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Let's come back when it's less busy!

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Danger Mouse, I don't want you to take this the wrong way,

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but you're irresponsible and we don't trust you.

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Well, I'm the senior agent, second-in-command,

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and therefore I am in charge.

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I'll prove that Colonel D makes a great leader.

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CHUCKLING

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LAUGHTER

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Yes, well, I might not bother with the moustache.

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I must say, I'm rather excited to win this holiday.

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I don't even remember entering the competition.

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What kind of hotel is this?

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It's the kind you never leave!

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And with Danger Mouse in charge of the Danger Agency,

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the world will be in chaos!

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Activate Plan Alpha!

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Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Excellent!

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Well, send an extra large plate of chips up to my room

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and book me in for a pedicure.

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I'm sensing you're bored, Chief.

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Whatever gave you that idea?

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HE SIGHS

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ALARM WAILS

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A disaster, woohoo! Come on, someone's stealing parliament!

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Chief, you're the chief-chief now and chief-chiefs don't do missions.

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HE SIGHS

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-HORN BEEPS

-Look out! Danger...

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..Moth?

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I suggest a frontal attack while you have the element of surprise.

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Yeah, it's a bit late for that now.

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Now, if you'd used your other foot, you could have taken them both out.

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Yeah, can you stop interfering? I am doing my job.

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And I'm explaining how to do it better.

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Well, maybe you'd do your job better by butting out.

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Wait, we're forgetting something. Hmm...

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It's not MY fault if Danger Moth messed up, Penfold.

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It's not just Britain, the Baron has taken every government in the world.

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Grr! Danger Moth has a lot to answer for.

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Soon, all will bow down before me.

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The world is in chaos.

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World peace has broken out.

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With no leaders around to shout at each other, all the different

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countries are getting on great.

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Hooray!

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Hey, Barony, you make things better.

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-Hey!

-Luckily, I have other plans.

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Activate Master Plan Beta!

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Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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-DOOR OPENS

-Huh?

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Interesting spa.

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Send a large plate of chips up to my room, would you, please?

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Where did you get the mud pack?

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Nero's litter box.

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HE SIGHS

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BEEP This is your pre-recorded

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morning morale boost.

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You're a handsome, bushy-faced devil. Grrrrr!

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Now, go get 'em, tiger.

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Exercise. One, two...

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Well, that's enough of that.

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Let's get some chips.

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Chief, you should see this.

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Thanks for having me back on the show, Jimmy. You look great.

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Sadly, no-one will ever see it, because I will disrupt every

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communication from the internet to...

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-Ha-ha! Observe a world in chaos!

-BEEP

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-You broke the internet. Remember?

-Sorry I'm late.

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Everybody, they got no phones, no TV, no internet,

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so they stop and chat. It's really nice.

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There must be something the world can't cope without!

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The little fellow would be quite good

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if he didn't keep eating the balls.

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Bleugh!

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CLICK-CLICK Another large portion of chips

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to the room, if you'd be so kind.

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Sorry, we're out of the French fries. You want some bamboo?

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BAMBOO?! What kind of a hotel is this?

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I had better service in the Gulag,

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where they took my freedom, but they never took my chips!

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Give me chips!

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Arrrggghhh!

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Wow, he really like the fries!

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They're called chips!

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Arghhh!

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Ahhhh!

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Arrgghhhh!

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Arghh! Grrr!

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Hmm... Interesting...

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No, it's not my fault if I can't contact the agents.

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But you're the leader! You need to come up with a plan.

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And I have. From now on, I'll take every mission myself. What's first?

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The Baron has stolen the world's entire chip supply.

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Hm. Quiet day, then.

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This is as big as it gets.

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This is the chipocalypse!

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-CHANTING:

-Chips, chips, chips, chips...

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PUNCHING

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-CHANTING:

-Fries, fries, fries, fries, fries...

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-CHANTING:

-Fries, fries, fries, fries, fries, fries...

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I couldn't organise the agents and I can't do it all by myself.

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-I...don't know what to do.

-KNOCKING

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Hello, little fella.

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I thought you were on holiday

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with the Colonel.

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I think he wants us to follow him.

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There's no time for wild moustache chases, we've got a world to save,

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communications to mend, governments to rescue.

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Oh, Penfold, I may not be the best person to be in charge.

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Chief, don't say it, my poor brain cannot cope with such a shock.

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I know, I'm surprised myself, but I need to step down. Call Professor...

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I'm here!

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How long have you been in there?

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All day, and, no, I don't want to talk about it.

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I took the liberty of organising a meeting of all the agents in my lab.

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This is so exciting.

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The fight-back starts today.

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-Hooray!

-Yippee!

-Woohoo!

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But first, a five-hour written test,

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a two-week practical and two months of training.

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With any luck, we'll be ready to go in just three months.

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We can't wait three months!

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You're no better at this than Danger Mouse.

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And someone's got to do something!

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Well, if you think YOU can do better...

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Maybe he can. Come on, Colonel P, what are your orders?

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Hmm... What would the Colonel say?

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I want you all to immediately...

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..thingamajig the...

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..who-d'ya-ma-flip.

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I suppose he means I should re-establish global communications.

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And we should bring order to the streets, maybe?

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While I follow the Colonel's moustache to find out

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what's happened to him.

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And we should, um, draw a picture to cheer everyone up.

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Erm... Good show, everyone.

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Carry on.

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Chaos! Chaos und triple cha...

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CRUNCHING

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Hey, didn't he used to have a moustache?

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He's still got one!

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Time to cash in your chips.

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Never! Minions, attack!

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Blahh!

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Ahhhh! Nero!

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EVIL CHUCKLING

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Ohhhh!

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You and me, Baron. Let's make this fight super-sized.

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You want fries with that?

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Ha!

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Oh!

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I always win...

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..when the chips are down.

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Hello, there. Where have you been?

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Ah! Any chance of some ketchup?

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HE WHIMPERS

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NARRATOR: And so, as chips are distributed worldwide to bring

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civilisation back from the brink,

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we are left pondering one question -

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is it possible that Colonel K

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secretly, very, very secretly, knows exactly what he's doing?

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Narrator, hush!

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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When Colonel K disappears on a free holiday, Danger Mouse pulls rank and assumes the mantle of caretaker colonel. However, the role is much less exciting than he anticipated, as world-saving missions make way for endless paperwork. Meanwhile, K's freebie spa retreat happens to be a diversion tactic in Greenback's latest plot to take over the world, with the baron banking on the Danger Agency falling apart without its figurehead and the world descending into disarray.