Ernest Penfold and the Half-Price Wand Danger Mouse


Ernest Penfold and the Half-Price Wand

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PENFOLD SHRIEKS

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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# He's the ace, he's amazing

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# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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Morning!

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And while most of us like to start the day with breakfast...

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WHOOSH!

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..Danger Mouse starts the day by saving the world from the evil

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Baron Silas Von Greenback!

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GREENBACK CACKLES

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Chief, we'll never diffuse them all in time! He's got us snookered!

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We could do with a Big Break all right! Deploy DangerCue!

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HE SCREAMS CRASH!

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KABOOM!

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Ha-ha!

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Huh?

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Special delivery, Chief!

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Hmm, ooh, very special, Penfold.

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From the Palace, no less.

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Put it with the others.

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PENFOLD SHRIEKS THEN WHIMPERS

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Oh, 'eck!

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Ooh! Is that one for me?

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Sorry, Penfold, this is one for rescuing you from the medals.

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PENFOLD SIGHS

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Don't get me wrong, Chief, I'm happy for you,

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but I can't help wondering, aren't I special too?

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Of course you are, Penfold!

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You...erm...!

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You make a really special cup of tea!

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Oh!

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SLURP

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HE SPLUTTERS AND GAGS

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Ah, I may have mixed up the sugar with the salt. Again.

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I'll be scrubbing the taste out of my mouth if you need me.

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Sugar, salt, sugar, salt.

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KNOCK ON DOOR

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PENFOLD GASPS

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Cor, it's for me!

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Abracadabra and greetings to you, the one and only...

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Penfold.

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-What?

-You are the Chosen One, the Weaver of Illusion,

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-the Walker Under Wind...

-The Blah Blah Blah, get on with it!

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Behold! A completely exclusive gift just for you and nobody else -

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the Wand of Power, yours to wield for only 99.99!

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Cor!

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TOILET FLUSHES

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-I'm a wizard!

-Honestly, you can't leave him alone for a minute.

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Watch this! Tea-us makey-us!

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TEAPOT SMASHES

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Well, I'll admit that's a clever trick, but...

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What are you doing now?

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I'll probably need some time off work.

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I'm destined to embark on an epic quest against impossible odds!

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I'm special, I'm one of a kind!

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THEY GIGGLE

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Well, one thousand of a kind!

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TREE GROWLS

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MONKEY CACKLES

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I thought I was special.

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If Quark sells one to everyone, the whole planet will be in chaos.

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We need to put a...

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..to this. Exactly.

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-Quark, you have to stop selling these wands.

-Hey!

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Why d'you think it's me?

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Chief! That's Merlin's magic staff!

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Quark's shaving bits off and putting them in the wands!

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Three million units sold already to the Earth suckers.

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Who are you calling "suckers"? And do they come in red?

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-Penfold!

-Sorry, Chief.

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And don't worry, I'll deal with Quark using my wand.

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Quarkus bonkus on the head-us!

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WAND RATTLES

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Ha!

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You got a tiny bitty little piece of Merlin's staff,

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and I still got all this!

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-Heh-heh-heh!

-Quit fooling around and zap 'em!

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THEY SCREAM

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THEY SCREAM

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It's getting worse, Chief!

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How are we supposed to stop Quark while he's got Merlin's staff?

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We can't - but I know somebody who can.

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We need to find Merlin!

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Yes! This is the epic adventure I was destined for!

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Come, oh, fellowship of the wand! Let us depart and begin our quest!

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Many years shall it take us to fulfil our duties...

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Found him!

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Hmm, I always wondered what the Merlin's Tomb Finder app was for!

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Oh, Merlin!

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Wakey-us uppus!

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Speak to us, Merlin! Bless us with your ancient wisdom!

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HE YAWNS

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I think I might hit my snooze crystal.

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Cup of tea to perk you up, oh, great wizard?

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SLURP

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HE SPLUTTERS AND GAGS

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What kind of fool has put salt in my tea?

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That would be me, Mr Merlin, sir. Penfold!

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You might know me as the Chosen One,

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for I have travelled far and wide...

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You haven't seen a staff lying around here, have you?

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Actually, that's why we've come.

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Take a little nap for a couple of thousand years and this happens!

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MERLIN GASPS

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Automatic water wipers! No! That's real magic!

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Wait till he finds the splat cannons.

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Merlin, we need your help to stop the alien who's behind all this.

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-Ohh, tropical tutti frutti! Astounding!

-Help us!

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Yes, of course, but I can't fight that alien if he's got my staff.

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He's only got half of it. He put a splinter in each of the wands.

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What if we put all those splinters back together?

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Half of Merlin's staff in the hands of Merlin will be more than enough!

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Well done, Penfold. Time for a product recall.

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And, yea, it came to pass that

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Penfold, the Chosen One, did embark

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on a perilous journey to distant lands to retrieve the shards...!

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Oh, for goodness' sake,

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they fly around the world and collect the wands!

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Staffus!

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Erm, put-back-together-us?

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Ooh!

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KABOOM! THEY SCREAM

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There is an evil mage to deal with!

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-MERLIN SNAPS A PHOTO

-Merlin!

-Merlin!

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Oh! Ha-ha! Right... To battle!

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It's over, Quark.

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Go on, Merlin.

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Deal with Quark and then you can play with the phone!

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Ah-ha! There!

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Now hand over the phone.

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Eh, you like phones, huh?

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-Well, you come work for me and you have one all to yourself.

-Huh?

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And you can have...

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..this electronic toothbrush!

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-TOOTHBRUSH WHIRS

-Ha-ha-ha!

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-Oh, come on, he won't sell out the planet for a used toothbrush.

-Ohh!

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Rechargeable, three-speed, and also a tooth-broom!

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Ohhhhh!

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-Oh, 'eck!

-Well, that's a setback.

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Now to make some real money!

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QUARK CHUCKLES

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I'm sorry, Chief.

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If I hadn't been so obsessed with feeling special

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none of this would have happened.

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You guys must be thirsty!

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QUARK CACKLES

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Hmm, thirsty.

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How about a nice cup of tea, Quark?

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Oh, don't mind if I do!

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HE SPLUTTERS

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It's like drinking the sea!

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Ha! Great work, Penfold!

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Backus to normalus!

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Phew! Just in time, Chief. I think I was about to flower!

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Er, now let's be reasonable about this.

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I never seen this guy before in my life!

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I want my lawyer!

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THEY CHUCKLE

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Sorry about the piggy bank planets thing.

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I got a bit carried away with all the gadgets.

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Just give me the staff and I'll put an end to all this magic.

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Actually, I think saving the universe

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might be someone else's destiny.

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Penfold, I choose you!

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You mean, I AM the Chosen One?

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You'll always be special to me.

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I, Penfold the Brown, do banish all foul magic henceforth.

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-You're talking funny again.

-A thousand apologies, oh, Mousey One!

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Oh, go on, just this once.

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See you in another thousand years,

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or when it's time to upgrade my smartphone.

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Ah-ha!

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What a ninny!

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-Penfold, did you by any chance keep Merlin's staff?

-What gave me away?

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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