Ghost Tour Dani's Castle


Ghost Tour

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Their names were Gabriel and Esmeralda,

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a brother and sister who lived in the castle more than 250 years ago,

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until their lives were claimed by fever.

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It is said that their restless spirits now haunt this place.

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They say that the lost children of Bogmoor Castle

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can sometimes be heard,

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their moans and weeping still echoing through the halls

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and rooms of the castle.

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And that if you listen very carefully...

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Shhhh! ..You can still hear them.

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MOANING

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How is everyone?

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THEY LAUGH

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That's not a real ghost. That's just someone dressed up.

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THEY GASP

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Run for your lives!

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THEY SCREAM

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Flee for your lives in an orderly fashion.

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You don't want to trip and fall.

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And don't forget to visit our gift shop on your way out.

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Boo!

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SHE SCREAMS

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That concludes our ghost tour.

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On behalf of myself, and our resident ghosts,

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we thank you all for coming!

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Thanks! Bye! Tell your friends all about us.

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That wasn't a complete disaster, at least.

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Do you want to see a trick where I make all this money disappear?

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I don't think so, Leo.

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One more tour and we should finally be able to pay off this.

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Ouch. That's one very overdue leccy bill.

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Hang on a minute, isn't your friend coming to visit tomorrow?

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How are you going to run the ghost tour and have fun with her?

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Wait and see. I have got a plan to keep the ghost tour running,

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and still have a nice, girly time with my best friend.

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You know, hair, gossip. That sort of thing.

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Oh, yeah. Hair. Nails. Gossip. Shoes.

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Hair, more hair.

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All the girly things.

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Swaggalicious.

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All hail the genius who came up with the ghost tour idea.

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SIGN CRASHES

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I meant to do that.

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Yeah, the genius who came up with the idea,

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and then proceeded not to help us run it.

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I'm an ideas man.

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With an impressive hit rate of one good idea to every

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95 utterly deranged ones.

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Rocket sled races!

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Zooooom!

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Chicken wrestling!

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Upside-down disco!

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Nice one, Jimmy.

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All hail the genius.

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It was also your idea to sit on your lazy backside

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while we did all the work.

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Hey, I put a lot of effort into chillaxing.

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Doing this tour twice a night for the last two weeks was exhausting.

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I was so tired last night that I fell asleep in my magic cabinet.

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I woke up this morning cut in two.

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But luckily, I managed to pull myself together.

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I thank you.

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-Which is why you're taking over, Jimmy.

-What?

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My friend's arriving tomorrow and I want to spend some time with her.

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-So I'm putting you in charge.

-You can't do that.

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Well, seeing how hard I've been working, yes, I can.

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Lazy boy, no offence, can't be in charge.

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-Dylan Sweeny's coming to the tour tonight.

-Who?

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He's this mouthy kid in my class.

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He doesn't believe me that the castle is haunted.

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I have to prove to him that it is.

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Yeah, see? I can't be in charge. I'm a lazy boy.

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I'll do a terrible job, and make Leo look like a liar.

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You won't. You know as well as I do that if we don't pay

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this bill by tomorrow they'll cut off our electricity.

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-No electric means no lights.

-We've got the candles.

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-No washing machine.

-There's always the river.

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-No video games.

-Fine. I'll do it.

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-Oh, and don't mess up.

-And lose my precious video games?

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This is going to be even more successful with me in charge.

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Come on, Leo, let's roll.

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Told you I had a plan.

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Beautifully played.

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KNOCKING ON DOOR

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SHE SCREAMS EXCITEDLY

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Sam.

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THEY SQUEAL

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-I missed you.

-Missed you too.

-Missed you three.

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-Missed you infinity.

-Missed you a googolplex.

-Mm-hmm.

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THEY SQUEAL AGAIN

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Oh, I have got so much to tell you.

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You are not going to believe this place.

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I can't wait to show you around.

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We are going to have so much fun!

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It has been far too long, buddy!

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EERIE WHISTLING

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SCREAMING ON TV

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SCREAMING CONTINUES

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Gosh. That was all rather intense.

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And that's more the sort of thing we want from you, Gabe.

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-Proper, spooky, ghostly action.

-Yeah, kind of like Esme does it.

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Here's the sort of thing.

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Jelly Monsters!

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HE SCREAMS

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GHOSTLY MOANS

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We want our ghost tours to come with a health warning.

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We want all our visitors to flee in total terror,

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-in search of clean underwear.

-HE SCREAMS

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Finally, you humans know what it means to be a ghost!

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It's all about the scaring!

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Why do we always have to be scary?

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Why can't we be the first friendly ghost tour?

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Because that would be a stupid idea.

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And at the moment you're sort of, with all due respect,

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the least scary part of the tour.

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There are pineapples more terrifying than you.

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You're about as scary as a roll of toilet paper, mate.

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Or a hairbrush.

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Or a little pussy cat with big googly eyes and a fluffy, fluffy tail.

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I see. Well, if that's how you feel,

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I've been doing my best, and it clearly isn't enough.

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Whoa. Whoa, Gabe, buddy, hold on.

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No. If all you want to do is terrify people,

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then I refuse to have anything more to do with these silly tours.

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In fact, I quit.

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You can't quit.

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I have to prove to Dylan Sweeny that the castle is haunted.

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You'll have to do it without me. Good evening to you all.

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Enjoy your frighteningings.

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Great start, Jimmy.

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Well, it only looks like me on scaring duties, then.

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That deserves a status update.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello, Bogmoor Castle Ghost Tours.

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I'm so sorry I have been rubbish at replying to emails, Dani.

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I've just been so wrapped up in my new job.

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So if you're not an astronaut any more, then what are you?

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Have you ever heard of Area 51?

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Is that the secret warehouse in the middle of the desert

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where the American government keep all the mysterious stuff they find?

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Well, yes, but I don't actually work at Area 51.

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I work somewhere way more mysterious.

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Welcome to Area 52, Sam.

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So this is where the American Government really keep

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all their mysterious stuff.

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So I investigate UFO sightings, frozen yetis,

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ancient magical artefacts and Elvis sightings.

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Oh, wow! Sounds amazing! Anyway, what do you want to do today?

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I could show you around the village,

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we could rent a weepy movie and grab a take-away.

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-Well, actually, there was something I hoped we'd do.

-You name it.

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You know how you said this castle was haunted...

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Yes, we'd love to have you here. See you very soon.

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Bye-bye! Oh, no!

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What now?

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That was a Rex Freeman from hauntedtravel.co.uk.

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His reviews can make or break an operation like ours!

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-He's coming to do a review of the tour. Tonight!

-Tonight?!

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HE GROANS

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But we're still in business. We'll get Esme to do double the work.

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Right then, my boys. This is for you.

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-What's this?

-Oh, nothing.

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Just a few little things I want in return for lending you

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my ghost powers.

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"A new MP3 player, a remote control helicopter, a home cinema."

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Look, Esme, these things are really expensive.

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How about I buy you something a bit cheaper?

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How about a dolly?

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Do I look like I'd be happy with a dolly?

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But we've got a big electricity bill to pay.

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We can't afford this.

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Well, it looks like you don't need me after all.

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All I can say is, good luck running a ghost tour without any ghosts.

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BOTH: No!

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Esme, come back!

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THEY STRUGGLE AND SHOUT

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KNOCKING

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Please don't tell me you've come here to work.

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This isn't work. This is fun! OK, well, it's sort of work.

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I've been given the task of solving the mystery of ghosts.

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-You're kidding.

-Well, obviously I wanted to come and see you!

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But when you told me your castle was haunted, well...

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-What does this do?

-Ahhh!

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It's very finely calibrated to scan the immediate area

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for changes in atmospheric density that might indicate

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-the imprint of a supernatural presence.

-And in English?

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It looks for ghosts.

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Sam, y'know, if you wanted to meet a ghost all you had to do was ask.

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So you've actually made contact with

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a spontaneous incorporeal apparition?

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Sounds like somebody made contact with a thesaurus.

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Gabe! There's someone here to see you!

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Gabe, this is my best friend, Sam.

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SHE MOANS IN SHOCK

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It's OK. I was like this at first, but you get used to it.

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Greetings, Sam.

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It is an honour to meet any friend of my lady's.

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Gabe's one of the stars of our ghost tour.

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Not anymore, my lady. I just tendered my resignation.

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What do you mean? Why would you do that?

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All that screaming and scaring,

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it's completely against everything I stand for.

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Right. Jimmy's only been in charge for five minutes,

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and already the ghost tour is a complete disaster.

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I should've seen this coming.

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Well, at least they still have Esme.

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Right, Sam. Now you've made contact with a ghost, let's go crazy.

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Would you mind if I run some tests on you?

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It would be my pleasure.

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Erm, Sam, we have got loads planned.

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And we'll totally do it all, I promise.

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I just really need to do this. I'll be like ten minutes. 15, 20 tops.

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Great. I don't get to see my best friend in months,

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and when I finally do see her,

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she'd rather hang out with a dead guy.

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KNOCKING

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Amazing. I'm learning so much from you, Gabe.

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I wish more humans would take the time to talk to us,

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instead of always running away in terror.

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SAM GASPS

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Another ghost! This is too much.

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Who are you?

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I'm Sam. I'm an old friend of Dani's.

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Then why aren't you with Dani?

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I am. I will be! Just as soon as I've finished this.

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Dani'll understand.

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Why aren't you helping Jimmy and Leo get ready for the ghost tour?

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I quit.

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You quit?

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Does this mean you've come around to my way of thinking?

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You've realised that there's more to death than scaring the living?

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Exactly.

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There's blackmailing them, tricking them, messing with their minds.

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I mean...

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I've realised that you and I should stand up for our rights.

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Fascinating.

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Seeing you two interacting, it's almost like you're real people.

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We ARE real people.

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MACHINE BEEPS AND WHIRS

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-Where is she?!

-Well, I guess it's easy to lose track of time

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if you're experimenting on ghosts.

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I mean, Sam's always been passionate about science,

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but I hoped she might've missed me at least a bit.

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She would have got a wiggle on if she'd known there was ice cream.

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Ah. At last.

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Sorry.

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Just needed this.

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Right. That is it. I'm not waiting any more.

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Kait, you and I are going to have fun together.

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I am having fun.

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Me and Sam were going to have this girly night.

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So do you fancy it?

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Oh, yeah, like...um..lipstick and cheek powders.

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A girly night, yep, that sounds...um...yeah.

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Great! Come on.

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Greedy chops, come on.

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It's four hours till the ghost tour.

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Yeah, I thought Jimmy and Leo would have come begging by now.

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I wonder what they'll do without us. Maybe we should pop along...

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No! We're not going back. Think of your principles, man.

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They technically exploited us both.

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We should stand up for what we believe in.

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We should show the humans that we are not always frightening.

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-Hear, hear!

-We should show them that we're not a tool for scaring people!

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-Exactly!

-We should show them they need to reward us for our hard work!

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-Bravo! What?

-I'm just saying we should take action,

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stage some highly disruptive protest or something.

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MACHINE WHIRS

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Fascinating. The more worked up you get, the higher the readings.

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By protest, you mean like when the peasants disrupted the spring ball?

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Whoa. I don't think we are going that far.

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Just make things...difficult for the humans

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-until they give in to our demands.

-What demands?

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Never mind what demands. Are you with me or not, brother?

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-MACHINE WHIRS

-Fascinating.

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OK. So we both agree, we have absolutely no idea how to do

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two ghosts' worth of scaring by ourselves.

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Yep, we're stuffed like a pair of turkeys at Christmas.

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John Henry Pepper!

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John Henry Pepper! That's isn't another kid from your school, is it?

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No! He's the guy that came up with the Pepper's ghost!

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Peppered ghost? This is no time to be thinking about food, Leo.

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Look out the window.

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OK. I'm looking.

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Now you see me.

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Now you don't.

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Now you see me.

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Now you don't.

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Is the stress getting to you?

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No, just trust me on this. It's how we'll save the ghost tour.

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MOOSE HEAD CRASHES TO GROUND

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Wasn't me.

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Esme! That's not funny!

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Right.

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I need the brightest light we can find, and a huge sheet of glass.

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Right, because that's not going to be impossible to find

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at this time of night.

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GROWLING

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I can't believe she's done this. Actually, yes, I can.

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I think most girls get stupid over boys. With Sam, it's science.

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Ohh. You have done someone's hair before, haven't you?

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Yeah, loads of times.

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I've done the scrunching, and the checking for nits. Now for this.

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How much do you want me to cut off?

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Wow. No! I don't want you to cut it!

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I just wanted you to style it a little bit.

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Oh, well, I thought that's what I was doing. Wasn't I?

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-Look, forget the hair.

-No. Wait! I can do this.

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Why don't we watch a weepy movie?

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"A true story of love, loss, and lip-gloss." Sounds great!

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Why do I get the feeling that makeover nights

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and weepy movies aren't your idea of fun?

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Yeah, you're right. I'm clueless with all this best-mate stuff.

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I'd much rather be out riding my horse. Or rock climbing.

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Or bungee jumping.

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Go and talk to Sam. Tell her how you feel.

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Yeah, I will. Thanks, Kait.

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What for?

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Well, that's brilliant advice.

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It is?

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Well, for someone who's "clueless at best-friend stuff",

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you're actually pretty good at it.

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I am?

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Yep. So what are you going to do?

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A SHOUT FROM OUTSIDE

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THEY LAUGH

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It sounds like Leo and Jimmy are setting up for the ghost tour.

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So I'll go help them.

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OK. I'll see you later.

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Yes! Get in. Boo-ya! In your face, all other girls!

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THUDS

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Down with ghost tours! Down with ghost tours!

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All this footage is moving paranormal science

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ahead by light years.

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-Down with ghost tours!

-Please, think about what you're doing.

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Dani is going to be furious if we ruin this tour.

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You know how important it is to her.

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And you know what's important to me? Getting rewarded for my skills.

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Those humans think that we'll help them for nothing.

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So this has nothing to do with standing up for our rights?

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-Just about getting stuff out of the humans!

-What's going on?

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The ghosts are staging a protest against the ghost tour.

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-What? Why? Wait. What?!

-This is amazing.

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Their wants and desires are so much like our own, Dani.

0:17:110:17:13

Sam, I can't believe you're a part of this.

0:17:130:17:15

I'm not a part of it. I'm just documenting it for our archives.

0:17:150:17:19

Yeah, documenting something that's going to cause me grief

0:17:190:17:22

without even thinking to tell me or trying to stop them?

0:17:220:17:25

Er, not "them". Just Esme. I was trying to stop her.

0:17:250:17:28

Why would you rather hang out with people who've

0:17:280:17:30

been dead for hundreds of years

0:17:300:17:32

than your best friend, who you haven't seen for months? Jimmy!

0:17:320:17:36

Forget ghost tours. They should start a human tour.

0:17:360:17:39

I have been so stupid.

0:17:390:17:40

THE WIND WHISTLES

0:17:440:17:47

DOOR CREAKS

0:17:480:17:50

Leo? Jimmy?

0:17:540:17:56

How much longer?

0:17:580:18:00

I'm just trying to get the angle of illumination right.

0:18:000:18:03

Have you been rehearsing your ghost impression?

0:18:030:18:06

I am the ghost of Bogmoor Castle! Oooh!

0:18:070:18:11

I will walk through the wall while you're in the baaath!

0:18:110:18:15

The baaaaaath!

0:18:150:18:17

More weird than scary.

0:18:170:18:19

-Jimmy!

-You need to be more like that.

0:18:190:18:21

Uh-oh. Hey, Dani. You're looking furious this evening.

0:18:210:18:25

When were you going to tell me that we

0:18:250:18:27

don't have any ghosts for tonight's tour?

0:18:270:18:29

We've come up with something even better than ghosts.

0:18:290:18:32

A semi-convincing fake ghost special effect!

0:18:320:18:37

I am the ghost of Bogmoor Castle, and so on, blah, blah, blah!

0:18:370:18:44

You're wearing my bathrobe?

0:18:450:18:47

Maybe. Is it important?

0:18:470:18:49

Dani, the kid from my class and that journalist guy

0:18:490:18:52

will never guess that Jimmy's not a real ghost.

0:18:520:18:54

-What journalist guy?

-Oops.

0:18:540:18:56

HE LAUGHS

0:18:560:18:58

What journalist guy?

0:18:580:18:59

Who said anything about a journalist who could potentially

0:18:590:19:02

-shut down our ghost tour?

-Not me.

0:19:020:19:05

So if you're the ghost, and Leo's doing the special effects,

0:19:050:19:08

then who's hosting the tour?

0:19:080:19:10

Oh, well, I guess that'll be me.

0:19:120:19:14

It's not like I've got anything better to do any more.

0:19:140:19:17

KNOCKING ON DOOR

0:19:170:19:18

That'll be the visitors for tonight's tour. Get into position.

0:19:180:19:21

-So we're doing the fake ghost thing?

-What choice have we got?

0:19:210:19:25

Me and Kait will... Actually, where is Kait?

0:19:250:19:27

We'll worry about her later.

0:19:270:19:29

KNOCKING CONTINUES

0:19:290:19:31

Thanks, Leo.

0:19:310:19:32

Leo? Jimmy? Are you in here?

0:19:340:19:37

CLICKING

0:19:370:19:40

Are you in there?

0:19:400:19:42

BANGING

0:19:420:19:43

Shouldn't you be doing the ghost tour

0:19:430:19:45

instead of trying to wind me up?!

0:19:450:19:47

Right! That's it, I've had enough. Nobody tries to scare me.

0:19:480:19:52

SHE SCREAMS

0:19:520:19:54

I hope you're ready to eat your words, Dylan.

0:19:580:20:00

I'll not be eating anything tonight, Leo.

0:20:000:20:02

Only stupid babies believe in ghosts.

0:20:020:20:06

-Yeah, well, get a load of this.

-HE BLOWS RASPBERRY

0:20:060:20:09

Pathetic.

0:20:090:20:11

Rex Freeman, from hauntedtravel.co.uk.

0:20:130:20:16

It says on your website that your tour promises real ghosts.

0:20:160:20:21

Real ghosts. Guaranteed.

0:20:210:20:23

Great! I've reviewed so many tours that think

0:20:230:20:26

they can get away with faking their ghosts.

0:20:260:20:29

-I'm glad that's not the case here.

-Me too.

0:20:290:20:32

I cannot let you leave, my lady. Not when this is my fault.

0:20:400:20:44

I verily encouraged you to study me.

0:20:440:20:46

No, Gabe, it's my fault. I shouldn't have got carried away.

0:20:460:20:50

I hate to contradict a lady, my lady, but you are very wrong.

0:20:500:20:54

Beg pardon.

0:20:540:20:56

The most important thing is, is that I hurt my friend.

0:20:560:20:59

I can't stay.

0:20:590:21:01

You can't go. Not without talking to her.

0:21:010:21:04

Believe me, being trapped here has shown me

0:21:040:21:07

that sometimes the best option is to face your problems.

0:21:070:21:11

Wow. Can't believe I'm taking advice from a ghost.

0:21:110:21:15

But you're right. I should talk to Dani.

0:21:150:21:19

What do you intend to do?

0:21:190:21:21

If my work can drive a wedge between two friends,

0:21:210:21:23

it can bring them back together. Right?

0:21:230:21:26

His name was James, and he lived in the castle

0:21:300:21:33

over 250 years ago, until his life was claimed by fever.

0:21:330:21:38

Boring!

0:21:380:21:40

They say that the ghost can still be heard, his moans

0:21:400:21:43

and weeping echoing through the halls of Bogmoor castle.

0:21:430:21:47

There's no such thing as ghosts!

0:21:470:21:49

Yeah.

0:21:490:21:50

Esme, please. Not now. Are you wearing my jacket?

0:21:500:21:54

Why is everyone wearing my clothes today?

0:21:540:21:56

Face it, everyone, we're not going to see any ghosts.

0:21:560:21:59

We might as well ask for our money back.

0:21:590:22:02

Sssh! Can you hear that?

0:22:020:22:04

FAKE GHOSTLY MOANING

0:22:040:22:07

THEY GASP

0:22:080:22:09

I am the ghost of Bogmoor! Leave from my home!

0:22:090:22:13

Shakalakaboooooooo!

0:22:130:22:16

-Behold! Bogmoor's resident spirit!

-That's not a ghost.

0:22:160:22:20

I can confirm that it is a ghost.

0:22:200:22:23

What she said. I can walk through walls and everything.

0:22:230:22:28

Prove it.

0:22:280:22:29

Maybe later.

0:22:310:22:33

Oh, come on. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.

0:22:330:22:37

It looks fake to me too.

0:22:370:22:39

Ah-ha!

0:22:390:22:41

HE MOANS

0:22:430:22:45

Pay no attention to the people with the black curtain and plate glass.

0:22:450:22:49

It's a simple illusion, the John Henry Pepper trick.

0:22:490:22:53

I knew you were lying, Leo.

0:22:530:22:55

Running away.

0:22:550:22:57

I was promised there'd be actual ghosts on this tour.

0:22:570:23:00

-There is! She's one for a start.

-OK, now you're just being desperate.

0:23:000:23:04

Dani's telling the truth.

0:23:040:23:06

And we can prove it!

0:23:060:23:07

SHE PANTS

0:23:100:23:12

SHE SCREAMS

0:23:140:23:16

If you observe these figures, you will see that there is

0:23:190:23:22

an enormous concentration of spectral energy in this room.

0:23:220:23:26

Centred on this man.

0:23:260:23:28

Yes, I am a ghost, everyone.

0:23:280:23:30

And, big surprise, I'm not frightening.

0:23:300:23:32

-And this girl.

-What a load of guff.

0:23:320:23:35

This is a very expensive, state-of-the-art piece of kit.

0:23:350:23:38

And it proves there is definitely something happening.

0:23:380:23:41

MACHINE BEEPS AND WHIRS

0:23:410:23:42

Gabe, is that you?

0:23:420:23:44

Not guilty, my lady.

0:23:440:23:46

I think that's something far worse than Gabe.

0:23:480:23:50

Whatever it is, it's getting really close.

0:23:500:23:54

HOWLING

0:23:540:23:57

SCREAMING

0:23:580:23:59

Everybody run!

0:23:590:24:01

GHOST ROARS

0:24:060:24:08

Best ghost tour ever.

0:24:170:24:19

What happened?!

0:24:230:24:24

Ghost! Ghost! Ghost!

0:24:240:24:29

Jimmy, you outdid yourself!

0:24:290:24:32

What was that thing? Was that another ghost?

0:24:340:24:36

We think it might have been the poltergeist.

0:24:360:24:39

What! You knew about it and you didn't tell us?

0:24:390:24:42

Sorry, my lady. But we were never really certain it existed.

0:24:420:24:45

All we knew is that it occasionally gets a bit strange around here.

0:24:450:24:49

Stranger than it normally is?

0:24:490:24:51

All the visitors walking through must've disturbed it.

0:24:510:24:54

I think that's our cue to shut down the ghost tour.

0:24:540:24:56

I'm with you on that. On the plus side,

0:24:560:24:59

check out how much we made in tips tonight.

0:24:590:25:01

That should be enough to pay for our leccy bill.

0:25:010:25:04

And that should pay for a rocking take-away.

0:25:040:25:07

Yeah, apart from the fact the nearest take-away is 40 miles away.

0:25:070:25:11

-It'll be cold by the time it gets here.

-Mmm, cold pizza.

0:25:110:25:14

Sam must be going crazy over that poltergeist business.

0:25:140:25:17

Actually, where is she?

0:25:170:25:18

Sam? Cold pizza?

0:25:320:25:34

Are you sure you still want me around?

0:25:340:25:37

I got blinded by science. Again.

0:25:370:25:38

Caught up in all the pressure from work,

0:25:380:25:41

the thrill of discovery, and...

0:25:410:25:42

Sam, you're my best friend. I'll always want you around.

0:25:420:25:45

And you did try your best to save the ghost tour.

0:25:450:25:48

I've missed you.

0:25:480:25:50

I missed you too.

0:25:500:25:51

Missed you three.

0:25:510:25:53

And so on.

0:25:530:25:54

BOTH: Squeeeeze!

0:25:540:25:57

BOTH: Shh! You'll wake the poltergeist.

0:25:570:25:59

BOTH, WHISPERING: Squeeeeze!

0:26:010:26:03

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