Dark and Stormy Night Dani's Castle

Oh, wow! Me and Leo should get going.

No, that clock's been stuck since we got here.

It was, I swear.

Jimmy, if you're going to live here,

you'll have to get used to the odd storm.

I can't stay here and hold your hand all night.

Like I'd want you to do that.

THUNDERCLAP Aaah!

Well, it doesn't look like it's letting up,

so we'll just have to make a run for it.

You can't go out in that! Not without a surfboard!

You'll just have to stay here till morning.

Cool! Sleepover!

See! Leo wants to.

Hey, guys! We can watch the storm from the battlements!

No, the tower - the lightning might strike the old weather vane!

Cool!

No, not on my watch. We'll all just camp out here until the storm passes.

Jimmy, that's actually an all right idea.

If we don't, then Esme might get scared again, so...

For the last time - I wasn't scared!

Clearly not.

"Hey!"

Ah!

What do you think? He's part of my new act. His name's Leopold.

"Hello Esme!"

Hey!

"Hey, where's my head?"

I was just annoyed that you made me lose a life in Battlebot Armageddon!

A human scaring a ghost. No way!

There really is no need for us to stay.

You city boys may be afraid of a little rain,

but us country folk don't let the weather slow us down.

THUNDERCLAP

Er...but...seeing as you've got your heart set on this sleepover thing...

Hey, guys! Kait and Leo are going to sleep over until the storm passes.

We're just going to camp together.

Thank you, Jimmy, but the pleasure of your cousin's company

is not something that I wish for at present.

What, you don't want to...?

Jimmy, please tell Gabe that I have no intention of inflicting

my "uncouth person" on him.

Jimmy, please thank your cousin, but nonetheless...

Whoa, bring the dialogue up a few centuries.

Why are you both acting like this?

-She started it.

-He started it. What?

-What? I did not...!

THEY ARGUE OVER EACH OTHER

Enough!

I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it!

Now both of you just go to the kitchen!

Now!

-Fine!

-Fine!

But the only reason I'm joining in on this

is because I find the castle too creepy on my own in the storm.

THUNDERCLAP

And yes, I'm aware of how that makes me sound.

Can't even get a weather forecast.

We don't have much firewood,

but we do have all Aunt Marjorie's old newspapers and useless junk.

Hey, look, a story she was writing.

Why did she keep all this stuff?

Some people see the value in the past and its traditions.

Some people move with the times.

This is really boring. How about I saw someone in half?

I'll go get the saw!

No! Everyone stays here.

I know, why don't I read one of Aunt Marjorie's old stories?

It's probably the riveting tale of an old lady making jam

and knitting jumpers for puppies.

Exactly. We need something nice and sweet.

"It was a dark and stormy night."

THUNDERCLAP

"The grandfather clock in the hall ticked towards midnight,

"while outside, lightning flashed."

THUNDERCLAP

Ah!

What happened to jam and puppies?

Don't stop! It's just sounding good.

Yeah, a ghost story's perfect.

Wait, what are you doing?

Filming you, so when I scare you, I have proof.

I don't get scared!

Yeah.

"Lightning flashed...

THUNDERCLAP

"..but I was happy to sit by the warmth of the fire."

FIRE STARTS

"Suddenly, there was an almighty clap of thunder...

THUNDERCLAP

"..and all the lights went out."

Ah!

Oh, man, it's too dark. I missed Esme screaming.

It wasn't me.

It was me. I...

..stubbed my toe.

There should be a torch here somewhere.

Must be the fuse box.

Someone's got to go down to the cellar and fix it.

Good idea. We'll all wait here till you get back.

I didn't mean me!

This slumber party was your idea - you go.

How about we settle it fairly?

Rock, paper, scissors, spider, bunny, squid?

No! You make up the rules as you go along.

I don't even think squid does ink spider.

Right, everyone take a match...

Break two. Whoever goes should take someone with them.

It's basic health and safety.

And if you lose you don't want to go alone.

Great(!)

Let's get this over with.

Unless you want to sit around in the dark like in the good old days.

No, I shall accompany you, because I'm a gentleman.

I believe in chivalry.

And I don't want to listen to any more of Jimmy's story.

Hey!

What is with those two? They've been bickering all night.

They had a huge row at dinnertime.

What?

Nothing.

It's just that...

In my day, it was generally considered good manners

to eat your cheese with a fork.

That's it? They fell out over cheese?

It escalated.

So are you saying I've got no manners?

No, not no manners.

Bad manners?

Oh, good. You understand. It's not your fault.

We just had higher standards in my time.

Yeah, well, in your time everyone was stiff and stuck up!

Well, at least we knew how to eat our cheese properly!

This is the 21st century, Gabe.

We're not tied down by your ridiculous 18th century

rules and etiquette.

They're not ridiculous! They make society civilised.

Things were much better before.

No, they weren't! Things are better now!

We've got medicine, electricity, computers, television...

Yes, Esme showed me an episode of McHurtie's Hospital.

I don't think that's anything for your century to brag about!

Maybe it wasn't a good idea, sending them off together.

Good thing Gabe's already dead, or Dani probably would have killed him.

Speaking of which, get on with the ghost stories.

It's too dark in here by candlelight.

Let's just wait until the lights come back on.

There you go.

Thanks, Kaitlyn.

Right, where were we? OK.

"There was a terrible crash of thunder..."

THUNDERCLAP

"..a flash of lightning..."

THUNDERCLAP

"..and then a loud knock at the door."

KNOCK AT DOOR

Oh, come on!

Where are you going?

To answer the door.

Well, don't!

Look, I have a bad feeling about this.

Don't you think it's weird how everything in this story

is coming to life?

Yeah, it's really weird how there's thunder and lightning

and power cuts...in a storm(!)

Kaitlyn, wait!

Told you. It's humans that get scared, not ghosts.

I bet I could scare you again.

You're on. But you'll have to find me first.

Wish I could do that!

Kaitlyn, wait, stop! Don't open it!

Who knows? It could be a ghost, or a zombie, or a man...

So sorry to bother you, chaps, but what else could I do?

My car broke down in this appalling storm.

If I wanted to be somewhere dark and gloomy,

I've got a nice, quiet grave I could sit in.

You didn't have to come with me. I can manage on my own.

In my day, we considered it ill-mannered

to leave a lady unescorted.

But saying that she eats her cheese like a barbaric goatherder,

that's just polite chitchat(!)

I may have expressed myself more forcefully than necessary.

I just hope you can refrain yourself

from wolfing down the cheddar from the mousetraps.

What, mousetraps? You mean there are mice down here?

More rats than mice.

Ugh! Rats? No-one said anything about rats!

Oh!

THUNDERCLAP

So, there I was, driving along, rain bucketing down

like the fourth test at Old Trafford, when all of a sudden, crash!

A huge branch snapped off a tree into the road in front of me.

Oh, no! And it made you crash your car?

Well, I must have swerved round it by pure instinct.

But the next thing I remember is the car being stuck in the mud

with the engine conked out.

So your car...just happened to break down here.

How convenient.

Well, not really. Dashed awkward, actually.

I'm supposed to be at this place called Bogmoor right now.

You're here! This is Bogmoor Castle.

How convenient.

I say, that is a spot of luck.

Oh, I'm sorry, frightfully rude of me.

I'm Basil Woodford, but my friends call me Cedric.

Ah-ha! An alias!

More of a nickname from when I started school.

Starts with Basil Woodford.

Can't see the wood for the trees, cedar tree, Cedric.

A bit obvious, I know, but we were only five.

Well, I'm Kaitlyn. But my friends call me Kait. From Kaitlyn.

And they call me Ju-jitsu Jimmy.

Splendid!

Are you the caretakers?

Oh, my dad's the groundskeeper.

Oh, well, it was so dark out there I had no idea where I was.

Why didn't you call for help?

Well, nobody around. No point just "halloo-ing" into the darkness.

I meant on your phone.

Because I was in my car.

My telephone is in my flat.

How convenient.

Will you stop doing that!

Sorry about my friend. He's an idiot.

But you're here now, and that's the main thing.

Like I said, the leccy's down,

but I could always make us some tea on the stove.

Capital idea. Could I trouble you for some milk on my way out?

There's none in the hotel room

and I promised my wife I'd pick some up on the way back.

Course.

She's a good egg, isn't she?

Maybe she is. Maybe she isn't. Maybe she's not an egg at all.

Any chance of a tour?

So, what brings you to Bogmoor?

I told you, my car.

I meant why are you here?

Oh, right. Well I have family here. Or rather, I had.

You see, I've inherited this castle.

What? That's impossible!

I couldn't believe it either, but here it is in black and white.

Let me see that!

"This property herewith, henceforth and forthwith

"becomes the sole possession of Basil Woodford."

You're looking at the new Lord of Bogmoor Castle!

THUNDERCLAP

Every time!

I don't know why everyone's getting so scare-happy tonight.

Nothing to be afraid of.

That's weird!

Aaaah!

Nice try.

LIGHT CRACKLES

Grrr!

We never had this problem with good old-fashioned candles.

Fine. If you think everything was better in the 1700s,

then you won't want this electric torch, will you?

Dani, wait!

That's not funny!

Dani, I'm...sorry.

What did you say?

I said I'm...sorry.

For...?

For pointing out your extremely poor table manners.

I should've realised you'd be more sensitive about it.

You're new to this apologising thing, aren't you?

This place must be in my blood.

I've never been here before, but it all looks strangely familiar.

No, no, there must be some mistake. This place is mine and Dani's.

I'm sorry, the will is quite clear.

I take possession at midnight.

That's in 15 minutes' time.

Can't we just wait until morning? We can e-mail the lawyers.

E-mail?

E-write an e-letter?

Why are you talking like that?

I'm sorry - you said it so I thought it must be the local dialect.

You seem like a decent sort of chap. I know it's been a bit of a shock,

but if you don't mind I think I'll take a look around.

This can't be happening.

Kait!

Oh, Jimmy! I thought you were Esme.

Where's everyone gone?

Aaaah!

Sorry, it slipped.

Leo! When I get through with you, you'll be a ghost.

You can haunt Esme yourself.

Kait, that Cedric guy... Cedric, Basil...Bass, Base...whatever,

he said he's the heir to the castle,

and that this place becomes his in 15...14 minutes!

What?! It can't.

He has a fancy will with words like "henceforth" and "forthwith".

-Did it say "herewith"?

-Yeah!

That sounds serious! It's all...legal.

I told you not to open that door!

Oh, right, cos that would've worked(!)

"Knock, knock. Hello? Oh, no-one's home,

"so I'll just forget about this castle I've inherited."

Let's think.

Maybe that will's a forgery.

Kait, wait!

Dani!

What is this thing?

Of course! The old hydro-electric generator!

In the late 1800s, the castle used its own power

from a water wheel in the stream.

Surprised they didn't just get all the rats to run on a hamster wheel.

This thing is never going to work, not after all these years.

But I suppose we've got nothing to lose.

Yes!

Ah. Of course. We can't touch.

How did that stupid argument even start, anyway?

Don't you remember? I saw the ridiculous way you eat cheese...

But that's not important any more.

Gabe, if we're going to be friends, we have to accept each other,

and all our differences.

You're right. But we have many differences.

I know. The past, the present.

Alive, dead. There's a lot that separates us.

But is that a reason to end this before it's even begun?

Maybe we should stop worrying about it and see where it takes us.

You're right.

I mean, look at this old generator. Who would think that would work?

But here we are, using old water power to make new electric light.

You do know electric light has been around for 150 years, don't you?

It's still new to me.

Let's get back to the others.

It won't open!

Let me try.

Brilliant(!)

Stand back - I'll force it.

I didn't think that through.

Stay here - I'll get help.

Where else was I going to go?

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Hello, chaps.

Thought I'd play some music now the power's back on.

I can't make head nor tail of this wireless,

but I found this gramophone.

I danced to this with my wife at our wedding.

I'd like to see that will, if you don't mind.

Yes, show her. She's my legal representative.

I thought you were the groundskeeper's daughter.

Now groundskeepers aren't allowed to have daughters that are lawyers?(!)

A ghost!

Who was that?

That's the new owner of Bogmoor Castle.

-Hey, where's Dani?

-She's locked in the cellar.

Bit extreme.

No, no, I didn't do it - the door's locked.

But what do you mean, "new owner of Bogmoor"?

Me and Dani have been booted out by Basil "Call me Cedric" Woodford.

He has a will that this place becomes his at midnight.

Basil Woodford?

We'd better go and find him. Poor guy must be terrified.

Wait, that's it!

He's scared of ghosts!

If we show him that this place is actually haunted,

there's no way that he'll stay here!

Come on!

ALL SCREAM

ALL: Leo!

What? It's you guys who keep getting in the way of me scaring Esme!

Evil little...

..genius! This is perfect, it's just what we need to scare off Cedric.

Will you help us?

Absolutely. Just one question.

Who's Cedric?

He's the new owner of the castle.

And he's terrified of ghosts.

Why don't you wake the poltergeist?

We want to scare him, not us.

Fair point, but you could still use a real ghost.

Never mind. I've got a top quality scare right here.

Should've seen your faces when you saw him. In fact, you can!

I had my camera set up, ready to record Esme. Check it out.

No time - we need to get Cedric out before midnight.

Did you see where he went?

No, but the camera did.

Look.

A ghost!

If he can run through a closed door, then...

ALL: He's a ghost!

Great. More ghosts is exactly what this castle needed(!)

Who's a ghost?

ALL SCREAM

Esme! How long have you been in there?

-I transported myself straight into the costume.

-Nice one.

Will you stop trying to scare each other?

BOTH: I wasn't scared.

OK, then scaring us.

Have you two ever seen this ghost before?

Never. Of course, we've always stayed out of the way before.

Where did he come from? Why suddenly tonight?

Who cares? Don't you see? If he's a ghost, he can't inherit the castle.

Oh, no!

What do you mean, "Oh, no?" Our problems are solved.

If Cedric really is a ghost, then you were right.

There was something spooky going on, just like in that story.

The story! Of course. Maybe that has the answers.

Come on!

Gabe?

Gabe!

Oh, rats!

RATS CHIRP

Rats! Aaaah!

Gabe!

This isn't a story, it's a diary. Aunt Marjorie had seen him, as well.

Listen... "Poor Basil Woodford died in 1956,

"when a branch hit his car on the night he came to claim the castle."

"And now, every year, on the anniversary of his death

"he returns, just before midnight."

"And he can't cross over because he doesn't know that he's dead."

"And he only has till midnight to accept the truth,

"or he remains stuck in limbo yet again..."

"He tried to avoid the bra..."

In a few minutes, he's going to be gone for another year.

But to him, he'll still think it's 1956.

We have to help him.

What?

Sorry, I just don't think I've ever heard you say

you wanted to help someone before.

He's a ghost, like you and me. But not like you and me.

He's trapped and needs to cross over.

So we need to tell him he's dead?

Bit awkward.

He's never going to believe us. He'll just think we're mad.

We need some proof or something.

Leave it to me. I have an idea.

Guys, if he has to cross over by midnight

there's only a few minutes left.

He needs to be told,

preferably by someone who can really say how it is. Lay down the law.

ALL: Dani!

Oh, no! I forgot about her.

Leave it to me.

Aaaah! I'm sorry! I didn't put the traps down!

Gabe said you needed a hand.

Finally! What's going on up there?

There's a ghost trapped in the castle.

If we don't help him cross over, he'll be stuck in limbo.

That's a surprisingly full and confusing answer. What?

I'll fill you in later. I can't stay long.

The door's jammed.

Thanks for pointing that out, I hadn't noticed(!)

There is another way out. I used it when we used to play hide and seek.

The delivery hatch. It goes to the drive by the front door.

I'm not going in there. It's dark and filthy.

Well, there is another way.

Why didn't you say? What is it?

You wait here till morning and we get the locksmith.

Yeah, I'll take the delivery hatch.

Wait! Wait, wait!

I'm getting out of here. This place is haunted.

Yes, but not in the way you think.

Please, just listen. We've got something to tell you.

You're...not with us.

Yes, I am, clearly.

No, she means you've recently departed.

No, I haven't. But I'm trying to.

You're the late Basil Woodford.

I know I was late, that's because my car broke down.

-Now will you let me out of here!

-Look!

I've got good news and bad news.

The good news is you don't have to worry about getting you car fixed.

What's the bad news?

The bad news is...you're dead.

The ghost! Stay away from me!

There's not much time. You have to believe us. You're a ghost, too.

Just like me.

Nonsense. No, I'm not. This must be some kind of trick!

No trick.

It can't be.

Look at the date.

It's tomorrow's paper.

Because you died over 60 years ago.

That branch. I didn't swerve round it, did I?

CLOCK CHIMES

What's happening?

Basil, come to us. We've been waiting so long.

That sounds like my wife, Penelope.

And pick up some milk on the way.

That's definitely Penelope.

It's time to go.

Listen, the storm's stopped.

Nice work with the newspaper. Where'd you get it?

I knew I'd seen the name Basil Woodford before.

It was in the pile of papers we used for the fire.

It's funny, I had a bad feeling all night,

but in the end, the scariest part was thinking I was going

to lose this place and all of you.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Or this could be the scariest part yet.

Aren't you going to answer it?

No, not doing that again.

You guys are pathetic. I'll get it.

Esme!

Aaaah!

SHE COUGHS

You said the hatch came out by the door.

You didn't mention it was right by the bog!

Yes! I got it on video! I win!

No, you don't! I wasn't scared. I was surprised.

Anyway you didn't scare... I mean, surprise me - Dani did.

Don't care - this video, straight onto the afternet.

You wouldn't dare! Come back here!

So everything's back to normal.

Erm, Esme mentioned something about helping a ghost cross over.

Long story.

you can read all about it in here. Aunt Marjorie wrote it all down.

-Come on, Jimmy.

-Let's go.

You know that business about crossing over?

Do you think that might happen to you one day?

I don't know. But I don't worry about what might happen.

I'm enjoying each day as it comes.

-The clock's stopped again.

-Leave it.

Let time stand still for a bit.

Anyway, after all that it's making me hungry.

I wonder if there's any cheese left?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd