The Beast of Bogmoor Dani's Castle

-VOICEOVER:

-Bogmoor FM.

Sonic beat. B-beat, beat, boom.

Here's another rhyme, now guess that tune.

HE BEATBOXES THE CORONATION STREET THEME

PHONE RINGS

-Caller on line one, what's your answer?

-Dr Who.

-BUZZER

-I'm afraid not, Miss.

Aw. Do I still get a copy of your CD, Gabe?

Sorry. You've got to be a winner of Guess That TV Tune.

-VOICEOVER:

-Bogmoor FM.

HE BEATBOXES THE CORONATION STREET THEME

-Remix!

-SPEAKER BLOWS

Boys, that's the third speaker you've blown this week.

PHONE RINGS

Caller on line two, what's your answer?

We've lost our field for the Bogmoor Fair.

Is not the right answer, and that is a very strange name for a TV show.

No! We've lost our field.

All the rain last week has flooded the lower meadow.

What happens at the Fair?

Oh, it's the event of the year.

-Coconut shies, face painting...

-How many people turn up at the Fair?

-Visitors come in their hundreds.

-Hundreds?

CHA-CHING NOISE

What does every fair in the world lack? A castle.

You just found yourself a new home for the Bogmoor Fair.

-VOICEOVER:

-Bogmoor FM.

But what about the beast? Rich!

What about the beast?

PLAYS HARMONIUM BADLY

What a doughnut!

-Thanks for your help, Dylan.

-Thanks for Trapper's lunch.

-Wow. What's with the five-a-day?

-They're from my vegetable patch.

I'm going to rustle up my classic veggie burgers and for afters...

-Rhubarb and custard. Yum.

-Ew.

I am so glad I don't have an appetite any more.

-Any new ideas for the Bogmoor Fair, please let me know.

-What do you mean?

Well, Walt Disney is putting the fun back into the castle.

I still don't understand. Third time lucky.

I've invited the Fair to be held at the castle grounds.

With the amount of people it attracts,

-it will finally put us on the tourist map.

-Oh. Erm...

Right. Yeah. Well done.

But the beast. What about... the beast?

PLAYS HARMONIUM BADLY

-The beast?

-Gabe, mate, what are going on about?

Many, many years ago, ten, in fact, the Fair was held in this castle.

But a terrible beast came and ransacked the stalls,

ate everything on them,

and the Fair was never held here...again.

That's great publicity - possible appearance by the Bogmoor beast.

Gabe, are you talking average beast or scary, big beast?

Enough about the beast! It's just a stupid superstitious story.

Was it something I said?

Rich, I've got a kicking Jimmy's Got Talent idea for a stall

at the Fair, cos you know I can see into your future, right?

No, you can't.

I already knew he was going to say that.

So, this is where you've been hiding.

Oh! Since when did vegetables smell so bad?

Since Prince William decided to donate

all his manure for the good of my carrots.

And what is that thing, Cinderella?

That thing is going to win me first prize at the biggest fruit

and vegetable competition at the Fair.

Careful you don't step on the vine!

The judges have to check that it's grown here,

so if the vine gets broken I'd be disqualified.

This competition really means a lot to you, doesn't it?

My grandad won it 12 years running -

that's why I got so upset when Gabe was talking about the beast.

What do you mean?

Well, everyone said that cos my grandad grew such massive

vegetables, that's what attracted the beast, who ate the vegetables

-and ruined the fair.

-A bit superstitious.

It cost him his reputation.

That was then...and this is now.

I mean, that thing, that thing's got first prize written all over it.

As long as it proves to everyone there never was a stupid beast.

Dylan, open up!

Rule one about hanging out with a ghost -

you can't be scared of stories about monsters.

-What have you come as?

-I'm Dylan, the beast catcher.

You really think the beast of Bogmoor is real?

Well, people thought dragons weren't real,

which really hurt Trapper's feelings.

Sometimes I wish I had a more worthy opponent,

but why make life difficult?

Before the Fair came to the castle, Grandad was always so jolly,

always smiling and having fun,

but then when everyone became so horrible toward him,

he just kind of lost his sparkle.

Look. Good on you for entering.

I mean, any competition is nerve-racking.

Hey! Why don't you borrow one of my fancy frocks for the photos?

Me in a dress? On what planet?

Well, you could always wear your jeans underneath.

It would really stick it to those idiotic farmers if you won.

Imagine their faces.

-It would, wouldn't it?

-Air five.

Visit...

Mystic Jim,

the all-seeing feeling booster for the future.

Gabe, I predict that your stall will sell...

harmonium compilation CDs.

If I was you, I'd make a plan B, Jimmy.

I'm the man with the gift.

Seriously, try me out.

All right, is Chelsea going to win their match this weekend?

I predict that they will either...

lose, win or draw.

Can you predict that my stall will be the talk of the Fair?

My veggie burgers.

Oh, whatever! Hamburgers are so last year.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm going

-to go and pick some veggies for the recipe.

-Oh, hold on.

I need to make some new fliers to post around the village for the fair.

Can you help? SHE SIGHS

-OK, fine.

-Jimmy, after you finish playing Wizard of Oz,

go and pick some vegetables.

I predicted he'd ask me and not you.

So, I've been thinking of ideas for our own Bogmoor Fair.

Here it is - crazy cheese golf. What do you think?

-I'd rather eat my own tail.

-Stop being so grumpy, Diego!

Give it a go.

OK. Every time you pot a ball,

you get to eat a bit of cheese as a prize. Ready?

-Birdie!

-Where?!

No. Cos I got the... Never mind.

DOOR CREAKS

Esme?

Is that you? FLOORBOARD CREAKS

It's here. The beast is here.

I love being a ghost.

I've got some great new fliers for the Fair,

Kate's veggies for her burgers.

Now all we need to do is make some stalls.

Jimmy, there's loads of callers lined up for Guess That Tune.

-Cool. I'll be right up.

-What is that?!

A massive pumpkin.

No. What's it doing in here?

It's too heavy to lift onto the table.

I mean, why have you picked it?!

Cos Kate told me to go large on the veggies.

I think she's planning on feeding the whole Fair.

That's Kate's prize pumpkin! She's entering it in the Fair competition.

-It can't be picked until it's judged!

-Rich.

I think I'll go and play another tune.

If Kate sees it, she's going to lose the plot.

Erm...

Er...

Here's the rest of the fliers.

Oh, thanks.

Just stick them on the table.

Erm...

-What are you doing with that table cloth?

-We're...

-Drying it.

-Drying it?

-Drying it.

-Drying it?

Yeah. Er...drying it.

You know, cos there's no wind outside,

so we thought we'd act like a clothes line and waft it.

All right then.

Well, anyway, I'm going to go and check on my pumpkin because

the judges arrive tomorrow and it needs to look clean and sparkling.

Erm...Kate... Erm...

I told all the Bogmoor listeners about your great veggie growing

skills and there's a bunch of callers just waiting to pick your brains.

But I thought Jimmy and Gabe were doing Guess That Tune?

And we'll be taking more of your calls for Guess...

How Kate does it. I mean, how to grow massive pumpkins.

Oh. Well, I suppose I've got time to chat

to one or two fellow veggie lovers.

Great. I mean, you head up to the studio and...

-This just needs one more minute to dry.

-OK.

-What are we going to do?

-I'll keep Kate busy.

You go back to the vegetable patch, try and reattach the vine.

-It needs to look normal, all right?

-OK.

Reattach the vine. Reattach the vine.

Reattach the...

Argh!

Take the vine and stick...

Arg!

Stay.

Ow!

Ow! Ow.

That was a song we haven't heard for a while.

Erm...look, we've got 20 callers lined up to speak to Kate.

-So, caller, number one.

-Hello. Is it the X Factor?

Er, thanks for your question, Gillian.

So, Kate, to grow huge vegetables, do you have to have the X factor?

Oh. Erm...

Right. No. Just a bit of time and patience, really, Gillian.

Good. Great to know. Erm, caller number two.

-Could it be Scooby Doo?

-Could what be Scooby Doo?

Could it be...that cartoon, sometimes featuring vegetables?

Could have inspired your green fingers?

-These are really weird questions.

-VOICEOVER:

-Bogmoor FM.

Coming up with new songs - check.

Making the best milkshakes in Bogmoor - no problem.

Reattaching the vine to a pumpkin the size of Godzilla is impossible.

Well, thanks for those...questions.

-I'm off to check on my pumpkin.

-She's coming! We need to hide it!

Hide it? It's the size of a small castle.

Well, luckily, we live in a huge castle,

so there must be somewhere she won't look.

Gabe, old buddy, if Kate sees this, she's going to chop me up

and use me as French fries,

so, if you don't mind, drop the paint brush and GRAB THE PUMPKIN!

Thanks.

My arms are killing me, which is odd, considering I'm a ghost.

Well, if Katie sees this, she's going to turn me into a ghost.

-Quick, there's someone coming.

-Rich and Dylan's room, now!

Perfect. She'll never go in there.

-Go, go, go, go!

-Come on!

Hello, Dylan. Hello, sister.

What's gotten into you?

-Have you spotted the beast yet?

-The beast?

-KNOCKING

-Wait. What was that?

-What was what?

That noise in my room.

Look... Can you keep a secret?

Not if I can have fun with it.

It's the beast, isn't it?

Er, yes! Yes, it is.

Hang on. The beast of Bogmoor is in his bedroom?

What are you all standing out here for?

-The beast of Bogmoor's in our room.

-What?

There is no beast of Bogmoor.

There is. I've been stalking it round the castle...

and Gabe's got it trapped in there.

You've been tracking an idiotic story all day.

Come on. We've got to find Trapper before he gets attacked.

Dylan, it's a load of rubbish.

Exactly.

MOUTHS: Pumpkin. - Oh.

Erm, actually, Kate,

it might be a big a risk, on the off-chance there could be a beast.

-What? Now you believe this nonsense?

-Well, yeah.

Er, maybe. I mean, better safe than sorry, eh?

It's superstitious rubbish. What's wrong with you lot?

SHE SCREAMS

Hi, guys. Just chillaxing.

- Boys are weird.

For once, I have to agree with you.

Well, if the beast isn't here, I'm off to find it.

Jimmy, you look like a mouldy old wedding cake.

It's the only thing I could think of.

I couldn't hide this thing on my own - it's far too heavy.

Unfortunately, mate, that's called taking one for the team.

-High-five on that.

-I know, right?

-So, what now?

- Look, the judges arrive at midday tomorrow

and we need to find another place to hide it until then.

And if Kate sees that this thing's missing?

Don't worry. I'll handle it.

-- Need a hand?

-Yes, please.

I can't get to the floor.

I'm stuck. I'm falling.

Gabe?

Gabe?!

-Kate, wait.

-Is something going on that I don't know about?

Look...about your pumpkin.

It's too dark to see it now. I'll just see it in the morning.

Look, this was your clever idea to invite the Fair to the castle.

I just don't want anything to go wrong.

I know. Look, it's going to fine, I promise.

-And what were you going to say about the pumpkin?

-Erm...

It's got winner written all over it.

I mean, the judges are going to flip out when they see it.

Hopefully for the right reasons.

-Where's Kate?!

-She's gone home!

-Thank goodness.

Now we've got some time from babysitting that pumpkin.

-Where have you put it?

-Ah...

We've put it somewhere safe.

BIRDS CHIRP

Pumpkin!

-Where are you going with the pumpkin?

-Back out to the garden.

Well, make sure you clean it first. It needs to look amazing.

My room.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Why's the door bolted?

I wanted to be here as soon as you arrived.

Yeah, I can see that. Nice PJs.

-These are my burger-making PJs.

-You what?

Well, the judges ain't going to be arriving for a little while.

-The burgers are not going to cook themselves, are they?

-Wait.

You want to help me make veggie burgers?

I was cooking toast before I could crawl.

Yeah, that's all you make, and it's always burnt.

All right, well, you can be head chef and I'll peel some carrots.

We can make a monster batch for the Fair.

-Deal. As long as you promise not to say "monster" again today.

-Deal.

And you might want to think about changing out of those pyjamas,

-Mr Sous Chef.

-All right.

GROANING

SHE SNIFFS

Where's all the cheese gone?

We're cheeseless!

Where...? Diego...have you eaten all the cheese?

That was too much.

Even for me.

BURP!

Well, now what am I going to use as a crazy golf hole?

HE GROANS Hmm. Fine!

I'll just use you.

Ugh!

Kate's bound to cheer up when she sees how clean this is.

Just tell her we've opened up a beauty parlour for vegetables.

We've plenty of time until the judges arrive.

Of all the places to hold the Bogmoor Fair. Again.

Keep all your wits about you.

This castle attracts more than just visitors to the fair, I can tell you.

Whoa. First contact.

I'm the coolest.

Bogmoor beast...

you're mine!

-So, what do you think?

-They're amazing.

Who'd have thought some mashed up cabbage could taste so good?

I tell you what, a few bits of bacon on top wouldn't go amiss, though.

Feeling good about today?

Yeah. I'm nervous, though.

What is there to worry about?

DOORBELL RINGS

MUSIC: " Family" by Hanni El Khatib

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Was that the doorbell again?

Sounds like it.

# ..the people that don't know me

# Better be buried in the... #

DOORBELL RINGS

-It's not...

-Who?

-Never mind.

# What's up to the people that don't know me... #

DOORBELL RINGS

It definitely can't be the judges.

# ..the sand

# Climb up to the moonlight

# Spit right in the palm of my hand. #

Good morning.

BOTH: It's the judges!

We need to get this out of here.

# F-A-M-I-L-Y

# Till the day we die. #

It's, er, a pleasure to welcome you to the castle.

I'm sure it is.

To make up for the last time we were here.

Your grandad put on quite a show with those monstrous shenanigans.

-You judged the competition ten years ago?

-We did.

And we're back to make sure

no creature makes a shambles of it this year.

-Did it come this way?

-Did what come this way?

Obviously not. You'd know if you saw it.

It's massive.

I really need to take care of that, Rich,

so can you stay here and look after the judges? Thanks!

Yeah, um...

-Why don't I give you guys a tour of the castle?

-No, no tour.

We want to get out of this place as soon as possible.

-Now then, where's this pumpkin?

-Where indeed?

Um, actually it's just out the back door,

so if you'd like to follow me, it's the quickest way to the pumpkin.

GROWLING

Surely this isn't the way to the garden.

I know. It's a funny route,

but people built castles in a funny way, back in the day.

It's just along here now, judges.

Slow down, it's too slippy.

Perhaps you shouldn't have polished it so much.

-JUDGE:

-Have we not been this way before?

RICH: You, um... Have you seen this painting?

It's, er...it's very old.

Um...a bit like you, really.

PHONE BEEPS

Oh, the dress!

Quick, get going!

I can't hold it! It's slipping!

It's getting closer, I can feel it.

-Hold it!

-I'm doing it!

Turn it, turn it.

BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM!

BOOM!

Whoa, this thing's massive!

So, the pumpkin made that noise.

Help me get this thing out the back door.

What was all that banging?

Kate! You're not going to believe this. I just saw this huge...

No, we don't want to know!

Heh-heh, this way to the garden, please.

It's no good.

Hah!

Why didn't you do that from the start?

We've been carrying that around all day.

It didn't occur to me until now.

Look, we need a distraction at the vegetable patch,

we can't let the judges see the vine, all right?

I've got an idea.

It's just this way.

Gah!

Ooh! Heh-heh, it's nothing! This way.

SNARLING

You're the beast.

I can't believe it's taken you this long to find out.

How could you be so mean?

Mean? You've been having the time of your life, chasing after me.

Well, I suppose it has been fun.

Almost as much fun as I've had tricking you.

Listen to this.

-GOAT BLEATS

-A goat laughing.

Has it got a giraffe sneezing?

No, but a horse whistling...

NEIGH!

SNORTING

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

GROWLING

This way.

Oh!

Have you done this?

Look, Kate, it's all my fault. I'm so sorry.

It's so shiny!

Shiny... Yeah! Shiny, I mean...

-I'm so sorry that I didn't ask you about cleaning it first.

-Oh, Rich!

Quite a sizeable pumpkin, young lady.

-Impressive.

-Yes, it is.

But before we get carried away, we need to check the vine.

- Aaaaagh!

Why is that boy dressed as a...lampshade?

GOAT BLEATS

Aaah!

Aah!

-Did anyone order a goat?

-I didn't see that coming.

The goat gave me a fright, and I pulled on the vine, and I-I-I-I...

-broke it.

-Definitely didn't see that coming.

-What are we going to do now?

-If you broke the vine, then...

-Then it must have been...

-..Whole when you...

-..Broke it.

-Mustn't it?

-What?

-Yes, yes.

Yes, it must. So, um, yeah. The vine gets a tick.

Come on.

So, er, how did I do?

Er, the winner will be announced in due course.

So long as we can find our way through this castle.

Well, that's that, then.

The only question now is how we're going to get this pumpkin

-to the Fair.

-I'm sure the three of us can manage.

-OK, great. But it's going to be really heavy, though.

-Yeah, we know.

-You know what?

-Nothing.

GOAT BLEATS

-So, how do I look?

-Like a movie star.

Too much for a Bogmoor Fair?

You kidding me? Go get 'em, tiger.

-You all right there?

-Uh-huh.

There it goes! Oh, don't bother.

APPLAUSE

And the winner of the biggest fruit and vegetable competition is...

is...is...

Kate!

-Told you.

-Thanks, Rich. These last couple of days...

Well, you really are full of surprises.

Not as surprising as that.

GASPS

Stop that!

-Right now! Clover! Come away.

-GOAT BLEATS

-Clover? You know that goat?

-Know him?

I have been lumbered with this greedy goat for more than ten years.

He follows me everywhere.

Well, if Clover's that naughty at ten,

imagine how naughty he was as a kid.

HE CHUCKLES

So maybe it was Clover who ate all the vegetables at my grandad's

last competition.

Well, I have to admit,

if there's one creature who has a beastlike appetite, it's Clover.

See, my predictions were right. The goat is the real beast.

I don't really think that's a prediction, to be honest.

True. But I do predict an apology from Maude to Kate

is right around the corner.

Yes, um...

I'm sorry, Kate.

Look, Kate, you've got your smile back.

I'm smiling because my grandfather's honour is back intact.

Congratulations, Kate. You won.

Well, you know, they say it's the taking part that counts,

not the winning.

-Really?

-No way!

Hee-hee, I won!

Well done.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd