Snowed In Dani's House

I hate home make-over shows. They're so unrealistic.

-How can they completely redecorate a room?

-And make it take so long?

Hmm...

Ohh, way too busy.

Black?

So predictable.

Oh, time for Dani's House!

Now who's predictable, hm?

-Hi, my name's Dani and this is my wonderful...

-I'm Sam.

-Oi!

-Her best friend.

-As I was saying...

-I'm her best friend too.

-Toby.

-As I was saying, this is my show.

-Max!

-That's me. I'm her brother.

-Get out of it.

-And I'm his best friend Ben.

-As I was saying,

my name's Dani and this is my show.

ALL ARGUE

BABY CRIES

CRYING STOPS

Got to change that ringtone.

It sounds just like a real baby.

BABY CRIES

Oops.

It WAS a real baby.

All right, all right, it's coming.

BABY CRIES LOUDLY

CRYING STOPS

All right!

Cold milk. Thanks for the reminder.

-It's been snowing!

-Oh, whoopee-doo(!)

-I know.

-Wanna come out and play in it?

-Hmm, let me think...

Hair like a fuzz ball, nose like a beetroot and ruin these Ugg boots?

I'm thinking no.

I never want to get older than ten.

WIND HOWLS

I can't believe it.

We're snowed in!

Well, on the plus side, the post arrived.

Thanks.

Oh! Our first of the snow. Isn't it exciting?

Fantastic. ..Wait a minute. What actually IS snow?

I've got no idea.

Let's find out.

Is that IT?

It's not even that white.

It's not even that cold.

Just think - there are songs, films,

and a whole winter sports industry based on this.

-Earth must be even more boring than we thought.

-Mm.

-I wanna play snowballs!

-Relax.

It never settles in this country anyway.

Looks pretty settled to me.

A freak wind must've blown it against the door.

Everywhere else will be clear.

PHONE RINGS

BABY CRIES

PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

'Hi! We're stuck in a snow drift on the way to Gran's!'

Everywhere except Gran's.

'It's fun! We're throwing snowballs at a policeman's helmet!

'Got to go! There was a policeman under it!'

Everyone's playing snowballs

-except me.

-PHONE RINGS AGAIN

-TOBY:

-'Hi, Mum. Sorry I couldn't get home last night.

-'Dani made an idiot of herself and I had to look after her.'

-What?

'Oh, hi, Dani. What are you doing in my house?'

I'm not. I'm at MY house.

-'Oh, sorry.'

-Are you and Sam coming over?

'Oh, no, er...

'I'm on my way home and Sam's trying out her new ski gear.

'Shame you couldn't make Debbie's party. Bye.'

Great. Deserted by parents, abandoned by friends,

and snowed in big time alone...

..with...

-..my brother!

-Stop that, OK?

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-Sam, it's Dani. I want you to drop

whatever you're doing and come over to my house.

We've had the heaviest snowfall in memory and it's blowing a gale.

-I couldn't possibly leave my garden.

-Well, how's this? I'm snowed in

-with Max!

-OK, don't panic. I'm on my way.

But what about the snow and the gale?

If you're home alone with Max, I'll be there, whatever they throw at me.

THUD Ow!

-Sam?

-I'm OK.

-BEEP

-Leave a message.

Toby, if you don't want your mum to know

you're not here looking after me,

you better come and look after me.

That made more sense in my head.

Let me in!

It's for your own protection, Max. I can't be responsible

-for what happens if I have to spend all day with you.

-You won't.

-Ben's coming.

-Ben! Of course. We've still got Ben.

But how will he get here?

A bit of powder might stop your no-hope mates,

but nothing defeats the Ben-meister.

Don't worry, pal. I'm right outside your house.

Wait a minute. Where IS your house?

Ben?

-OK, don't panic, but I think we've lost him.

-You mean

-he's breaking up?

-No, he can't find the house.

-I knew it.

It's just going to be you and me.

-We haven't been alone...

-Since you tried to blow up my bedroom.

..since you confiscated my chemistry set.

-It took six weeks for my eyebrows to grow back.

-The fireman said

he'd never seen an explosion like it.

The point is we can't be left alone again. It's always carnage.

We make King Kong versus Godzilla look like a buddy movie.

TOGETHER: Hello!

HE-E-E-E-E-E-E-ELP!

This is a problem of communication.

You fight because you don't understand one another.

What's to understand? He's a nuisance.

-She's a misery.

-So where did it first go wrong?

-Did you ever play together? Ball games, for instance?

-Constantly.

Hardly ever.

We used to play draughts

but I stopped because he was always cheating.

We played draughts but she quit - I was always winning.

You could try PLAYING together again.

Hello, Toby? Where are you? We've got to get to Dani's house?

-I think I have to go home.

-Max and Dani are snowed in TOGETHER!

Oh, that's different. I definitely have to go home.

-But they'll fight like pit bulls!

-And you want me to separate them?

-Toby!

-All right, all right, I'll come!

But I have to change my outfit first.

I don't know how you can think about changing your outfit

-at a time like this.

-You will when you see it.

Well, it can't be worse

than this joker I've just seen wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

Toby?

-You almost made me fall over.

-I saved you, though,

which isn't easy in these.

Flip-flops?!

Let me in! I've got something to show you.

Oh, come on, Dani. I haven't fallen for that one since I was four.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Ben? Can you hear me?

Yeah, how's it going, buddy?

Badly. Dani is older, bigger, and much, much meaner than I am.

I've only got one hope.

You've got some hope? Excellent! What is it?

-It's you!

-Uh-oh! I thought you meant real hope.

-Look, do you know where you are?

-Yes, I know exactly where I am.

-Great!

-I've just passed the car-shaped mound,

-near the ice sculpture of the Loch Ness Monster.

-But where?!

Are there any landmarks - anything you recognise?

-Yes! There's some snow!

-Anything else?

I'm pretty sure the car-shaped mound is a 4x4.

I'm sunk.

Toby, hurry. I've got this image of Dani's house going up in flames.

Oh, great. At least we'll be warm. Can you see my legs?

Unfortunately, yes. Can't you move them any faster?

I can't feel anything below the waist!

-Well, why did you dress for the beach on a day like this?

-I didn't!

I went to a Hawaiian-themed party last night and I woke up in Finland!

-Come on! We're lagging behind.

-Oh, I can't go on!

I feel like a frozen salmon on two ice pops!

Stop mucking about! You'll have plenty of time to warm up later!

Here, put this on.

-Better?

-Mmm, toasty(!)

-Mmm!

-Agh, agh, ow!

-I've been thinking. We can't go on fighting all day.

Why not? It's what we always do.

Max!

Why do humans fight and argue so much?

It is a primitive way of solving disputes. We gave it up eons ago.

I beg to differ. We argue like cat and mouse.

-Cat and dog.

-Who has been studying Earth expressions for light years?!

You! And you still can't get the simplest one right!

Well, that's the pot calling the kettle brown!

Black! Black!

Oh, we're not having an argument by any chance, are we(?) Mmm?!

Not any more we're not.

-Why should you get the remote?

-Because I'm the eldest.

-Get off!

-No!

-Let go of it!

TV SWITCHES OFF

Oh, no! What've you done?!

You've killed the telly!

NO!

-How can I help you?

-My TV's bust.

-What happened to it?

My little brother broke it. Oh, he's the most annoying, infuriating...

-In fact, forget the TV. Can you fix my brother?

-Let's have a look.

-What's the capital of China?

-Beijing, duh!

Nothing wrong with brightness.

-Good picture.

-Except the head's in widescreen.

-Volume?

-Yow!

-Working loud and clear. What exactly is the problem?

-Where shall I start? He won't do as he's told.

-Remote control problem?

-It's a no control problem.

-Is he switched on?

-Hey! Watch who you're poking!

-Ah...

There's your problem - a very short fuse.

Pop in a new one. He'll be right as rain.

SHE SIGHS

I know this is gonna sound weird, but something strange is going on.

-I think the appliances are ganging up on us.

-Dani?

First the TV, then the computer!

It's as if they're under the control of some strange power!

They are! It's called electricity and it's been cut off by the snow.

No electricity? That means no hot food, no heating!

It's gonna get dark! We're not gonna be able to see!

We won't be able to phone!

-It's dead!

-You're scaring me now. Can you calm down, please?

You're supposed to be the big sister around here.

Mobile! Please let it have charge!

Hello? Sam?

-Hello, Dani?

-HE SHIVERS

You've got to help us! It's gone all dark and we're gonna die and...

Dani? Dani? ..Something terrible's happened.

Hello? Hello?!

Sam?

We've got to hurry, Toby.

Toby?!

Will you hurry up? We're rushing for a reason.

-My flip-flops are stuck in the snow.

-Come on.

-Sam?

-Look, there's probably a mast down.

-The news said it was the worst snow in living memory.

-We're doomed!

No-one's gonna find us. No-one's ever gonna find us!

If there's anybody out there, we need help!

This is literally a question of survival!

So please, if you're out there, send help!

OK, this is the day we've been waiting for!

The chance to actually be in Dani's house.

They'll be so grateful when we burst through the door

-with our solar light sources and our food wafers!

-I know!

Change course for Earth...now!

-Ooh, that's it! We're on our way!

-We are indeed!

Estimated time of arrival - 1532 hours, 10th of June,

-3078.

-ENGINES STOP

OK. Now we have to calm down and think of a plan.

Why can't I think of a plan?!

You can't think of a plan, cos your big sister lost it.

Something's finally made Dani lose it. Isn't that quite cool?

No, it's scary. It's like there's no-one in charge.

-Then why don't YOU take charge?

-Me?! I can't allow myself

to take charge. I'm completely irresponsible.

But the fact that you know that only shows

-how completely responsible you actually are.

-Of course!

-BABY CRIES

-I know you're hungry! We all are!

Ssh!

There's no point looking in there. Mum hasn't gone shopping.

-I'll make lunch.

-With sardines, pickled onions and chilli sauce?

Good luck. Still, at least we've got baby milk.

Even if it is freezing cold.

Right now, try not to think of this as a cold bottle.

Think of it as a milk lolly.

-SHE SIGHS

-Could my life be any worse?

BABY RETCHES

OK, Maxy boy, this is your big chance.

-BABY'S CRIES CONTINUE

-There must be something in here.

The old camping stove! Yes!

-Max, what've you done?

-I've made lunch.

I hope it's a four-course meal! There's enough mess for one!

What's the sound? Is that silence?

Yeah, it calmed down once I warmed its milk up.

-How did you do that?

-I used our old camping stove.

Ha, of course, the camping stove. I was going to suggest that.

-So we can have hot food, right?

-No.

The gas ran out after a few minutes. But we can have the Max special.

Sardines, cheese, pickled onions, chilli sauce and honey.

That looks disgusting. I wouldn't eat that

if it was the last sandwich in the world!

It IS the last sandwich in the world. You've used all the bread!

-In fact, you've used everything!

-To make our lunch.

There's not a thing left in the house!

Wait a minute, there is one thing.

-Dani, don't!

-I was saving this cake for an emergency,

which I think has just arrived.

Max!

-We're going the wrong way!

-Are you kidding?! They don't call me the boy

who's quite good at finding his way places for nothing!

We've passed that tree three times!

Oh, like...I suppose they're different from each other.

-I suppose they have their own species, like animals!

-Well, yes.

-Really?

-Mm-hm.

-Wow.

For instance, that one behind is a deciduous virginiana.

-It has its own name?!

-Mm-hm.

-Cool!

It's really unusual. You rarely see them outside garden cent...

-We're in a garden centre, aren't we?

-Of course we're not!

-Dani's house is the next left.

-Where?!

-There, down....

"Compost £5.99 a bag" Lane.

-I think we're in the garden centre.

-Duh!

-Ever since you were a baby, you've made my life hell!

-All right!

-I'm sorry about the cake!

-It was the last thing left to eat!

Let's do something to take our minds off, shall we? Let's play a game.

-You and I play a game together?

-We used to play draughts together.

-Until you tired of me beating you.

-You never beat me.

-Mum made me let you win, cos you were youngest.

-Oh, yeah?

-Well, Mum's not here now, so let's play.

-Fine!

Oh, yeah, I forgot - no electricity.

We don't need a computer. Let's kick this out old school...with a board.

-You have to see five moves ahead to be good at draughts.

-Really?

-So with our mind-reading abilities...

-Mmm.

-Oh...

-I win! Best of three.

OK, let battle commence,

and may the best sibling win.

HE CACKLES

Ha-ha!

Now, I really don't know why I'm laughing! Ha-ha!

Ha-ha!

-You cheated!

-How?

-You took all my pieces.

-Face it, Dani, you suck at draughts.

-Maybe,

-but you ate my birthday cake.

-That was a birthday cake?

-Not that one,

-when I was ten.

-When you were ten,

I didn't know the difference between a birthday cake and a giraffe.

Time to let go.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe it is time to let go.

I do suck at draughts.

But I know a game I definitely don't suck at.

Blow Pipes.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

-Hello, Ben? It's Sam.

-Sam, as in Dani's friend, Sam?

-Of course, Dani's friend, Sam!

Well, I've never had a girl call my mobile before.

Well, no time for celebration, Ben. Someone's got to get to Dani's house

-and I'm not sure Toby can make it.

-Oh.

-Are you almost there?

No, I got lost, so I'm gonna go home and start again.

-How would you find your way home?

-Well, that's the clever bit,

I've been crumbling bread behind me all the way,

-so I can follow the trail back.

-Bread?

-Yes,

-but I can't seem to find it now.

-You did use brown bread, didn't you?

-Tell me you didn't use white bread, Ben.

-Incredible, it's disappeared!

SHE SIGHS

Now, THAT was fun.

Fun, yeah, we used to have fun, didn't we?

I forgot.

When we were...kids, obviously.

Yeah, before we knew any better.

-CRYING

-Oops, baby's crying.

Must be time for a nappy change.

-I'll do it.

-Really? Have you seen what's inside one of these things?

OK, I'll help...

..with my eyes closed.

Ball games are so much more fun with gravity.

Yeah, aren't they?

Shot.

You're not hungry, we've just changed your nappy,

-why are you still crying?

-CRYING CONTINUES

The baby's cold. We need to warm it up.

Let's take it camping.

Camping, when it's snowing a blizzard outside?

Who said anything about outside?

We can't go on, my legs are frozen solid!

But what about Dani?

Oof!

Go on without me, Sam, I'm just holding you back.

It's not your legs that have got frostbite, it's your combats!

Oh, I knew it. Next, it'll be gangrene in the hip pockets!

-Leave me, go!

-Oh, no, you're not getting out of it that easily.

This is cool!

And, more importantly, warm.

If only we had food, I'd be almost happy.

I was saving it, but...

-go on.

-The Max special?

I couldn't.

OK, if you insist.

This is totally and utterly...

delicious.

SMASH!

That sounds bad.

Give it to me straight, Sam,

will I have to lose a trouser leg?

Urgh!

Today's made me realise that you're not such a bad sister.

And it's made me realise I'm not either. But then again,

-I thought I was great all along.

-If anything happens,

I want to make sure that Ben gets my vintage train collection.

I don't think he'd have much competition.

And I want you to have my worm farm.

Thanks, I'm touched.

Right, I'm going to sleep, I am whacked.

-Do you think the baby'll be warm enough in here?

-With four babygrows,

three blankets and a sleeping bag,

any warmer and it'll turn to steam! PARP!

Excuse me, I know this sounds crazy, but...

-you don't know where Dani's house is, do you?

-Follow us, Ben.

Sam! Oh, great!

You saved my life!

What's your dog's name?

Toby!

I know someone called Toby, can I stroke him?

-I wouldn't.

-Grr!

SNORING

Food...

Food...

Burger, please.

-The usual?

-No, actually. Can I have that topped with sardines, cheese,

-pickled onion, chilli sauce and honey?

-Interesting combination.

-Someone made it for me in a sandwich.

-Oh, yeah, new friend?

No, actually, it was my little brother.

Little brother?

Yeah, right! This must be a dream.

Have a nice day...

I mean, night.

Oh, no, it was a dream!

What?

The burger,

it was juicy and meaty and...

I can't stand this!

There's gotta be food somewhere.

I'm going out...

and I may be gone some time.

-Oof!

-Agh!

A tent in the living room, what's this doing here?

The police often put one up over...

the scene of a crime!

Toby, I think we're too late.

-For one of them.

-But...

which one?

Oh, it's you!

OK, I know you're not real...

I'm gonna eat it anyway.

Dani, we're here to help you. Where's Max?

Yeah, what have you done...

-with the body?

-OK, I don't mind eating hallucination,

-but I'm not gonna talk to one.

-Dani, it's me, Toby.

With the blue jumpsuit and a Hawaiian shirt? Yeah, right!

This jumpsuit is my skin.

We trekked through the snow to stop you guys from killing each other.

To try and stop you, anyway.

But if you're alive, that means...

Max!

Oh, Max, the best friend a boy could have!

I'd sacrifice anything to see you one last time!

Oh... Hi.

Cheers, this'll do.

-Where's the pizza?

-I was starving!

-Great, some sacrifice you made!

So, you're both fine?

And I almost froze to death for nothing.

Yeah, we've been worried sick. What have you two been doing all day?

What have we been doing? Well...

It's been awful, erm...

Excuse me a minute.

OK, we fought all day, never played games and we certainly never sang

-We'll Be Coming Round The Mountain. Agreed?

-What's it worth?

Agreed!

Oh, you got here in the nick of time!

-Another second, I'd have gone for him with the guy-rope.

-You can get

-guy AND girl ropes?

-Oh... Hand me that pizza.

-But that's Dani's.

-It's OK, he can have the last slice.

-Huh?

It had a fly on it anyway.

Everything's back to normal, they're fine.

-What a great show.

-Mmm.

-Just right to go off to a deep sleep with.

-Already?

-Your nuclear-powered hotty-botty's getting cold!

OK.

Hmm, artificial 99!

Yes, sleep well.

See you in the computer-simulated morning.

Ah, peace at last!

No matter how well you get on,

you can't beat a light year or two of me-time.

Me-me-me-me-me...

SNORING

Ah...

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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