Break a Leg Dani's House

Your driving test is tomorrow

and you still have no idea which button controls the wipers!

-Is it this one?

-Aargh! Aargh!

-Is it this one?

-Aargh!

-It's time for Dani's House.

-What are you doing?

Aaargh!

-Hi, my name's Dani, and this is my fantastic...

-Best friend Jack.

Yeah, but... Oh, where was I?

Your name's Dani and I'm your best friend, too, Sam.

As I was saying, this is my fantastic...

-Max!

-I'm her brother and, actually, it's... Ben?

What? Oh, it's our show.

Can you just zip it?!

As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is my...

-What did I tell you?

-I give up.

So it all started with a little, teeny-weeny white lie.

I loved the play.

It was a masterpiece. I had no idea you were such a talented writer.

I'm so pleased you liked it.

I was worried you'd think Russian space travel was boring.

The drama of the first living thing into orbit -

the puppy Laika - it's nail-biting suspense.

Wait a minute. They sent a dog into space?

Laika didn't just change the face of space travel. She licked it.

Double strength latte with semi-skimmed milk.

-What about my nutmeg?

-Quit complaining. It's hot, isn't it?

I'm doing this for you. If you're unhappy,

we can cancel the whole deal.

-What deal?

-Mum said that Max can go to the Snakes And Ladders concert

on one condition - that I go with him.

Dani will only come if I'm her personal assistant for seven days.

Just my luck to have such a kind-hearted sister(!)

If you don't want to do this, say so.

No, of course I want to do it. Nutmeg coming right up.

-I wouldn't mind a drink.

-What can Max get you?

Hmm...strawberry milkshake?

-My pleasure(!)

-Oh, wait, but chocolate instead of strawberry.

And stirred, not shaken.

And hold the ice cream.

One chocolate milk coming up.

We booked our tickets to the concert ages ago.

-Why can't Max just tag along?

-This way I get an assistant for a week.

Max doesn't need to know I'm already going.

Dani, there was something I wanted to ask you about my play.

Anything for you, Little Miss Genius.

I was hoping... I'm just going to come right out and say it.

Would you like to play the lead in my play?

You want me to play the lead in Laika Come Home? But it's a dog.

A dog lead.

I wrote the part for you. Who else can do Laika justice?

Hold that thought.

I'm just going to go and get my cookies out the oven.

Wouldn't want the cookies to burn. Jack, d'you want to give me a hand?

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Max will get it.

Is the Snakes And Ladders concert really worth all this?

It's been voted the best live gig two years running.

Yes, I think it's worth it.

-What's with the bling?

-Don't you love it?

Michael sent it to me in the post. Apparently it was pirate booty.

It's been in my family for generations.

-And your uncle just gave it to you?

-Is it my lucky day or what?

Then at breakfast, I found the winning ticket in my cereal.

I've won a VIP tour of the amusement park.

-That's amazing!

-And it gets better.

Because on my way here just now, this £50 note flew all the way

down the street right into my chest.

And it all started when that medallion arrived this morning.

Fascinating.

So is the oven going to beep the cookies are ready?

What am I going to do about Sam's play? Do I take the part or what?

-Yeah, why not?

-Cos it's the worst script I've ever read.

-You said it was a masterpiece.

-I was trying not to hurt Sam's feelings.

-Tell Sam the truth.

-After I told her how great

I thought her play was?

That would be worse.

Maybe you shouldn't have lied.

Lies between friends, not healthy.

Wait. What happened to the hot choc-chip cookies?

-Sorry, I lied.

-OK.

Lying might seem like a good idea, but people end up getting hurt.

Why are we even having this conversation?

-You said there were cookies.

-No, I mean about Sam's play.

It's so bad no theatre's going to allow it on stage.

No director's ever going to sign up.

What's the harm in agreeing to be the dog?

-Have you heard nothing I've said?

-Thanks.

This way, I spare Sam's feelings and I get to look like the hero.

It's hard to describe the feeling of elation, the joy,

the tears when this flew towards me.

I can't believe I could be so lucky.

I've been thinking about that amazing lucky streak.

-How'd you like to put it to the test?

-How do you mean?

Just a harmless little game...

If you win, then we'll know for sure that today really is your lucky day.

If you lose, I don't know...

Say...you give me your medallion?

I couldn't! It's a family heirloom.

If today is your lucky day, you can't lose.

-What's the game?

-A little game I call heads or tails.

-You mean we toss for it?

-Exactly.

Tails you win, heads I get the medallion.

No way. That's a double-headed coin. It's always heads.

-You know about this?

-I gave it to you for Christmas.

-Fine.

I'll give you £10 for it.

Wow, £10!

This is so my lucky day.

Not any more, loser!

-What do you mean?

-Don't you realise?

Your lucky streak is because of this medallion

and you just gave it away for ten sweet pounds.

You tricked me! You sold me down the river.

Lucky streak, here I come.

I've made up my mind.

I'd love to star in your play.

That's fantastic! Thank you!

Oh, no, thank you!

It would be an honour to portray Laika, let alone a challenge

and stretch of my acting skills.

Now all you need to do is find a director. Good luck with that.

I've already got a director signed up.

Oh, you do? Wow! Congratulations.

Has the director read the script?

-Of course he has. What am I saying?

-Can I be in it, too? I love dogs.

Woof! Woof!

How about you deal with props?

Yes!

It seems a bit soon to be getting a props team together.

You need somewhere to put the play on first. Good luck with that.

-The local theatre company are all set.

-Really?

-Curtain goes up in seven days!

-Oh, yay!

Doctor, you have to help me.

What seems to be the problem?

Every time I lie, my nose seems to grow.

I find that hard to believe.

Fine. I think you're a fine figure of a man

and I have every confidence in your ability.

-Thank you very much.

-See?

Yippee!

Max, listen to this.

My uncle sent me a postcard. It turns out the medallion

he sent me, the medallion you're wearing, is cursed.

Don't be ridiculous.

"Dear Ben, since sending you the medallion,

"my life has taken a real turn for the better after 20 years of pain."

And this concerns me how?

He says his hives have cleared up for the first time.

He says it must be destroyed.

You wrote that postcard to try and get this lucky medallion back.

I didn't, I swear. The medallion really is cursed.

How do you explain all that lucky stuff that happened to you?

Maybe it really was just my lucky day.

Since you've been wearing it,

you haven't been having much luck.

Just taking a while to kick in.

It could happen to anyone.

I wonder if I could bury my favourite bone

on the surface of the moon.

-RUSSIAN ACCENT:

-Prepare for moonwalk, Laika.

One small step for man's best friend, one giant leap for dogkind.

-Down, Laika. Down!

-Dani, I'm still not feeling your raw emotion.

You should be apprehensive, excited, terrified.

I'm sorry, but it feels false. Laika never landed on the moon.

I know, but this sequence explores Laika's hopes and dreams.

Question.

The bit where Laika plays fetch on the moon - is that really possible?

Wouldn't the ball just fly into orbit when you tried to throw it?

-Let's take it from the top.

-Not again.

I mean, I want to keep it fresh.

I'm sure I'll crack it tomorrow.

-A live audience always gets me in the mood.

-Great.

Because the entire theatre is sold out.

PHONE RINGS

Gosh. Who'd have thought Laika Come Home would be so popular?

I can't go through with this.

It's too late to back out now.

You should have told the truth in the first place.

-Would you stop saying, "I told you so"?

-I told you so.

Let's see how your story stacks up.

Get a lie-detector now, shall we?

-Did you rob the bank on Thursday night?

-No, I did not.

-Did you blow the vault door?

-No, I did not.

Did you use the money to purchase expensive jewellery?

That's ridiculous.

All right, Fingers, that's enough.

You've beaten the lie-detector...yet again.

You're free to go.

Thanks, Inspector.

But I'm watching you, Fingers! You hear me? I'm watching you!

Look on the bright side.

It's just the local theatre.

It's not like anyone important will see it.

Great news. The talent agent I contacted just RSVP'd.

He's coming to the show tomorrow night especially to see you perform.

Oh, you're welcome, darling. It's the least you deserve.

Jack, we'd better pop back to theatre

to see if the pooper-scoop has arrived for Laika's moonwalk.

-Good luck, Dani!

-It's bad luck to say "good luck" in a theatre.

You should say, "Break a leg."

I'm learning so much about the theatre this week. Break a leg, Dani!

Ha-ha! Humans are so amusing with all that quaint superstition.

-It's so silly.

-"Look at me!

"I'm stepping on a crack!"

"I'm opening an umbrella up inside!"

THEY LAUGH

"Check it out. I'm going to press button number 13!"

No, not that one!

Time troops! We're about to be slimed!

Code Red! Code Red!

And they say umbrellas indoors is unlucky. Nah-ha-ha!

If I'm seen in this barking mad play,

my entire career will be ruined. What am I gonna do?

Why don't you just drop out?

I can't. Sam will be crushed.

Then come up with a really good excuse.

A little white lie got me into this. Maybe it could get me out.

Where's the harm?

Any chance you didn't notice that?

That's gonna really hurt your savings account.

-Now go get me a pizza.

-Your legs don't work?

Do you want to go to the Snakes And Ladders concert?

All right, I'll get you a pizza.

You want the usual?

Hang on. What was I thinking? You pay.

Hi, Sam.

I'm really sorry, I can't be Laika.

You'd better call my understudy.

You see, the thing is, I had a bit of an accident.

You won't believe this, but...

I broke my leg and it's in a really huge cast.

No, no, no, there's no need for you to come over.

No, no, that won't be necessary.

Oh, that's really sweet.

OK, I'll see you later. Bye!

What was I thinking?

Have you heard the news?

Three hyenas have escaped from the zoo. They're at large in the city!

-Where's Max?

-He's gone to get me a meat feast pizza.

Don't tell me. A pack of hyenas stole your pizza?

It could happen to anyone.

Here. Enjoy.

Not the lie I would have chosen, but not bad.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Ooh! Wish me luck.

-Break a leg.

Get this lot cleaned up. Fast!

-Oh, Dani, you poor thing.

-To help scratch under the cast.

You really are the best.

You poor thing. It's dreadful you won't be able to play Laika.

I know. Tell me about it.

I was in agony and that's all I could think about.

Maybe I could rewrite the script

so you can play Laika in a wheelchair.

Don't be silly. That would go against everything

your play stands for.

Laika bounding ahead, one giant leap for dogkind.

Where are your crutches?

The hospital ran out.

This is the worst plaster job I've ever seen.

-Did they do it with their eyes closed.

-It's not that bad.

Let me get you a snack. Sandwich?

You breaking your leg's a blessing in disguise.

-In what way?

-At least you don't have to appear in Sam's play.

Hadn't really thought about it.

-Did Sam mention something about a snack?

-Help yourself.

Honey or jam? >

Honey, please!

-One honey sandwich.

-You needn't worry.

My understudy's a really good actor.

He's only eight, but I've heard him bark.

Jack, I need you in the kitchen.

-What's up?

-I bought some special cookies.

Dani's faking. There's no broken leg!

It's a fake plaster. She's switched legs.

She is one good actress.

How could she lie to me like that?

Just to be clear, there aren't any cookies, are they?

Why would she jeopardise my very first play?

Maybe because she thinks Laika Come Home

is the worst script she's ever read. An offence to the art world.

-A literary train wreck.

-She said that?

Maybe...

To be honest, yeah, she did.

So she's been lying to me for the entire week?

Did I mention I love the play?

I want to hear Dani say she hates my play, that my writing sucks.

This whole culture of lying has to stop.

I have to get her to confess.

Have you considered being honest,

confronting her and having a real conversation about this?

Back in the real world...

-Are you with me?

-Still seems a bit dishonest to me.

What choice do we have?

If we're honest, she lies to our faces.

We're only lying to catch a liar.

Once we do that, the lying stops.

I suppose it might work, giving Dani a taste of her own medicine.

And I have the perfect plan.

That could happen to anyone.

You won't believe what happened.

You've just had your VIP tour of the amusement park,

thanks to your lucky day with this medallion.

-Congratulations.

-There's nothing lucky about it.

The day I got the medallion was the worst day of my life.

I got lost in the haunted house.

It was three hours before anyone realised the screaming dummy was me.

So what? Your VIP pass didn't exactly work out.

-What about that £50 note you found?

-I used it for my fare home.

I was arrested for circulating counterfeit money.

-You're lying.

-That medallion's cursed.

Please stop trying to scam me. I'm not giving back this medallion.

Didn't realise a broken leg would be so boring.

I got my step-dad to pull some strings

The specialist is going to give you a home visit. Surprise!

-He's coming here?

-He's gonna examine your leg.

I don't think that'll be necessary.

Nonsense. You've broken your leg. You deserve to be seen by an expert.

DOORBELL

-That's him!

-I don't feel like seeing a doctor right now.

You again. Thanks for coming back.

I forgot to take a blood sample.

If you wouldn't mind rolling up your sleeve...

Oh, no, you don't!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

I've never seen a plaster cast quite like this.

So it's a bit shoddy, a bit rushed. Maybe the nurse was in a hurry.

I did that one. I call it Picture Of A Doggy On Dani's Cast.

Something about this doesn't seem right.

OK, you got me.

The truth is...

Wait, aren't you in my acting class? Wednesday night in the village hall?

-Remember? Sam, didn't we lend him the bus fare home one time?

-That's right. This is Dr Rathborne.

-Bone.

-Rathbone.

He attends acting classes in his free time.

-He definitely is a real, genuine doctor.

-Yeah.

Hmm... Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

-Oh, dear.

-What is it? What's wrong?

Can you feel that?

-Yep.

-It's worse than I thought.

You have a very rare and serious condition.

-It's called Pinocchitus disease.

-Please say it isn't so.

But I thought I only had a broken leg...if that.

Pinocchitus is a disease of the mind.

I'll let the news sink in.

Give me a call when you're ready to discuss this.

Now. I'm ready now.

-What's wrong with my mind?

-You see?

She has to ask.

I'm on the gner if you need me.

-The gner?

-What gner?

You said you're on the gner if I need you.

No, I'm on the phone.

Auditory hallucinations already taking hold.

Thank you so much for coming.

Good luck.

Spoon the flip-flops with your sprinkle.

You too. Thanks for coming.

Try to stay calm. Let's see what this disease involves

and then bugbears in blancmange can be ticklish, OK?

Ah, Pinocchitus disease. Let's see. Symptoms...

"First, you'll start hearing things, then you'll start to feel warm.

Some patients see spots before their eyes."

That doesn't sound so bad.

"You may experience double vision and then paranoia sets in."

-How am I going to cope?

-There's more. "And right before the end..."

-The end?

-"You start speaking a nonsense language..."

I'm gonna be talking gibberish?

It sounds serious. You can't make this stuff up.

-No, sir.

-There must be a cure.

-I'm sorry, Dani, there isn't a cure.

But we're your best friends. We'll be here for you.

If you want to talk about anything...

anything you want to get off your chest before it's too late?

Nothing springs to mind.

So you really think this'll make Dani confess?

Definitely. All we have to do is turn up the heat.

Yeah, really put her under pressure.

No, I mean literally turn up the heat.

Wow, it's really hot in here.

Can we open a window or something?

Don't be silly. It's cold out.

In fact, I can use another porcupine.

Brrr, I'm freezing.

Wiggle.

Oh, no, feeling warm - it's the next symptom.

I didn't think the disease would progress this quickly.

Please tell me you can see that.

See what?

-What are you looking at?

-It's what the medical journal said.

I'm getting red spots before my eyes.

That's it. I'm calling Dr Rathbone.

Now, I know you had concerns about the size,

particularly the length, of your nose.

But you'll be thrilled to know that the plastic surgery was a success.

I'm sure you'll agree your face is now more evenly proportioned.

Wow, thanks! That's much better.

The doctor should be here any minute. I left the door on the latch.

He said for me to bring down your temperature with a glass of water.

-Thanks, Sam. Which one's mine?

-There's just one glass.

Oh, no, it's the next symptom.

I've started to see double.

Maybe a snack would help.

Please tell me you can see two sandwiches.

All right, you got me.

-Technically there should be two, but I ate the other one.

-Hello?

Thank goodness, the doctor's arrived.

We're in here, Doctor.

I understand you're seeing spots before your eyes.

Are you starting to see double yet?

-A little.

-It's OK, Dani. Dr Rathbone is here to help.

There are two Dr Rathbones.

Please tell me you can see two Dr Rathbones.

She's been like this all afternoon.

I'm not really sure how much she understands.

Hmm. The Pinocchitus is a lot more advanced than I feared.

It is?

I'd recommend a second opinion, but there simply isn't time.

-I hope you've had put all your affairs in order.

-He's right, Dani.

-You should tie up any loose ends.

-Say anything that needs to be said.

Is there nothing you can do, Doctor?

The monkey with the suitcase threw the fox a party.

There's nothing I can do.

Oh, no. You know what happens next? I start talking gibberish.

-I'm sorry, Dani. I didn't understand any of that.

-No-o-o-o!

Cool, you got your laptop fixed.

-Finally. Cola?

-Don't mind if I do.

Unlucky.

All right, all right, I admit it, this medallion's cursed.

Nothing's gone right since I got it.

-Told you. Uncle's postcard was right.

-Here. I want nothing to do with it.

No way. That curse is your problem.

Wait a minute. There's a letter from the Snakes and Ladders Fan Club.

A backstage pass to their concert.

My name was randomly selected from 5,000 fan club members.

I won! I knew it!

This medallion really IS lucky.

It stays right around my neck, baby.

Wait a minute. Is that an owl?

In the daytime? In a built-up area?

-My pass!

-OK, what were the chances of that?

Hang on. What's this?

Another letter from Snakes and Ladders.

For Dani.

Sam, we need to talk.

-There's something I have to say while I can talk.

-I understood that.

This is hard to say and you'll be upset,

but...I don't have a broken leg.

It's fake. I didn't want to be in your play

and I thought telling the truth would hurt your feelings, so I lied.

-I see.

-Laika Come Home just didn't appeal to me.

I couldn't connect with it, you know?

Theatre should pull at your heart strings, grip you,

take you to another place, really mesmerise...

All right. There's no need to go on about it.

I'm really sorry, Sam.

I was so selfish. And now I'm afflicted with this horrible disease

and I've re-evaluated life.

Now I know what matters.

We're friends and I should want to be in your play no matter what.

And now I'm sick and losing my mind and I just really hope

-you can forgive me.

-At last.

-Success! Give me some!

-What do you mean?

-I knew you were faking. I just wanted you to confess.

There's nothing wrong with you. Dr Rathbone was a fake.

-What about the other Dr Rathbone?

-Twins. We figured, if we tricked you

you'd think twice before lying to us.

So there's no such thing as Pinocchitus disease?

Of course not. I made it up.

Oh, Hallelujah! I'm gonna live!

-What about the spots?

-Fake.

Wow. Those two Dr Rathbones were really convincing.

-I wrote all their lines.

-You really are a good writer.

-I promise I'll never lie again.

-So you want to be in my play?

Look, you've made me realise what friendship is all about,

so I'm gonna be in your play. Woof, woof.

Thank you!

Curtains go up at seven.

-Looking forward to it.

-Break a leg.

So, there you have it.

Now you understand why I agreed to be Laika the space dog.

You were already going to the Snakes and Ladders gig.

Oh, yeah. How did you find out?

Your tickets just arrived.

You made me be your personal assistant for a whole week

and you were going anyway!

-You're just unlucky, I guess.

-My luck's about to change.

-Good riddance, curse!

-Wait. What is it?

Just a stupid old lump of gold.

Wow, this would look great as the tag on Laika's collar.

-Wait.

-What?

Oh, nothing. You go ahead.

Wear the medallion. Enjoy.

Right, I'm off to the theatre for our world premiere. Wish me luck.

That won't do much good.

Ow! Ow! My leg!

I think it's broken. Call an ambulance!

You shouldn't be watching TV while driving.

-I'm fine. I do it all the time.

-Look out!

-There's a dog in the fast lane!

-Humans are so irresponsible!

That thing should be on a lead.

-Aw! Aw, look what it's doing on the satellite.

-Oh, dirty!

# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

# Let's lift these chains

# Let's rock this wave right out to sea

# I will be

# Breaking free. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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