Break a Leg Dani's House


Break a Leg

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Your driving test is tomorrow

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and you still have no idea which button controls the wipers!

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-Is it this one?

-Aargh! Aargh!

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-Is it this one?

-Aargh!

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-It's time for Dani's House.

-What are you doing?

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Aaargh!

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-Hi, my name's Dani, and this is my fantastic...

-Best friend Jack.

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Yeah, but... Oh, where was I?

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Your name's Dani and I'm your best friend, too, Sam.

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As I was saying, this is my fantastic...

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-Max!

-I'm her brother and, actually, it's... Ben?

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What? Oh, it's our show.

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Can you just zip it?!

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As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is my...

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-What did I tell you?

-I give up.

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So it all started with a little, teeny-weeny white lie.

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I loved the play.

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It was a masterpiece. I had no idea you were such a talented writer.

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I'm so pleased you liked it.

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I was worried you'd think Russian space travel was boring.

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The drama of the first living thing into orbit -

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the puppy Laika - it's nail-biting suspense.

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Wait a minute. They sent a dog into space?

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Laika didn't just change the face of space travel. She licked it.

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Double strength latte with semi-skimmed milk.

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-What about my nutmeg?

-Quit complaining. It's hot, isn't it?

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I'm doing this for you. If you're unhappy,

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we can cancel the whole deal.

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-What deal?

-Mum said that Max can go to the Snakes And Ladders concert

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on one condition - that I go with him.

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Dani will only come if I'm her personal assistant for seven days.

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Just my luck to have such a kind-hearted sister(!)

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If you don't want to do this, say so.

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No, of course I want to do it. Nutmeg coming right up.

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-I wouldn't mind a drink.

-What can Max get you?

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Hmm...strawberry milkshake?

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-My pleasure(!)

-Oh, wait, but chocolate instead of strawberry.

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And stirred, not shaken.

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And hold the ice cream.

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One chocolate milk coming up.

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We booked our tickets to the concert ages ago.

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-Why can't Max just tag along?

-This way I get an assistant for a week.

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Max doesn't need to know I'm already going.

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Dani, there was something I wanted to ask you about my play.

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Anything for you, Little Miss Genius.

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I was hoping... I'm just going to come right out and say it.

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Would you like to play the lead in my play?

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You want me to play the lead in Laika Come Home? But it's a dog.

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A dog lead.

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I wrote the part for you. Who else can do Laika justice?

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Hold that thought.

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I'm just going to go and get my cookies out the oven.

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Wouldn't want the cookies to burn. Jack, d'you want to give me a hand?

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-Max will get it.

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Is the Snakes And Ladders concert really worth all this?

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It's been voted the best live gig two years running.

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Yes, I think it's worth it.

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-What's with the bling?

-Don't you love it?

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Michael sent it to me in the post. Apparently it was pirate booty.

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It's been in my family for generations.

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-And your uncle just gave it to you?

-Is it my lucky day or what?

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Then at breakfast, I found the winning ticket in my cereal.

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I've won a VIP tour of the amusement park.

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-That's amazing!

-And it gets better.

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Because on my way here just now, this £50 note flew all the way

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down the street right into my chest.

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And it all started when that medallion arrived this morning.

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Fascinating.

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So is the oven going to beep the cookies are ready?

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What am I going to do about Sam's play? Do I take the part or what?

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-Yeah, why not?

-Cos it's the worst script I've ever read.

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-You said it was a masterpiece.

-I was trying not to hurt Sam's feelings.

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-Tell Sam the truth.

-After I told her how great

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I thought her play was?

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That would be worse.

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Maybe you shouldn't have lied.

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Lies between friends, not healthy.

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Wait. What happened to the hot choc-chip cookies?

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-Sorry, I lied.

-OK.

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Lying might seem like a good idea, but people end up getting hurt.

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Why are we even having this conversation?

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-You said there were cookies.

-No, I mean about Sam's play.

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It's so bad no theatre's going to allow it on stage.

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No director's ever going to sign up.

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What's the harm in agreeing to be the dog?

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-Have you heard nothing I've said?

-Thanks.

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This way, I spare Sam's feelings and I get to look like the hero.

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It's hard to describe the feeling of elation, the joy,

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the tears when this flew towards me.

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I can't believe I could be so lucky.

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I've been thinking about that amazing lucky streak.

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-How'd you like to put it to the test?

-How do you mean?

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Just a harmless little game...

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If you win, then we'll know for sure that today really is your lucky day.

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If you lose, I don't know...

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Say...you give me your medallion?

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I couldn't! It's a family heirloom.

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If today is your lucky day, you can't lose.

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-What's the game?

-A little game I call heads or tails.

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-You mean we toss for it?

-Exactly.

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Tails you win, heads I get the medallion.

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No way. That's a double-headed coin. It's always heads.

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-You know about this?

-I gave it to you for Christmas.

-Fine.

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I'll give you £10 for it.

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Wow, £10!

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This is so my lucky day.

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Not any more, loser!

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-What do you mean?

-Don't you realise?

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Your lucky streak is because of this medallion

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and you just gave it away for ten sweet pounds.

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You tricked me! You sold me down the river.

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Lucky streak, here I come.

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I've made up my mind.

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I'd love to star in your play.

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That's fantastic! Thank you!

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Oh, no, thank you!

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It would be an honour to portray Laika, let alone a challenge

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and stretch of my acting skills.

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Now all you need to do is find a director. Good luck with that.

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I've already got a director signed up.

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Oh, you do? Wow! Congratulations.

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Has the director read the script?

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-Of course he has. What am I saying?

-Can I be in it, too? I love dogs.

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Woof! Woof!

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How about you deal with props?

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Yes!

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It seems a bit soon to be getting a props team together.

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You need somewhere to put the play on first. Good luck with that.

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-The local theatre company are all set.

-Really?

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-Curtain goes up in seven days!

-Oh, yay!

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Doctor, you have to help me.

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What seems to be the problem?

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Every time I lie, my nose seems to grow.

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I find that hard to believe.

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Fine. I think you're a fine figure of a man

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and I have every confidence in your ability.

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-Thank you very much.

-See?

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Yippee!

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Max, listen to this.

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My uncle sent me a postcard. It turns out the medallion

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he sent me, the medallion you're wearing, is cursed.

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Don't be ridiculous.

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"Dear Ben, since sending you the medallion,

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"my life has taken a real turn for the better after 20 years of pain."

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And this concerns me how?

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He says his hives have cleared up for the first time.

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He says it must be destroyed.

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You wrote that postcard to try and get this lucky medallion back.

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I didn't, I swear. The medallion really is cursed.

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How do you explain all that lucky stuff that happened to you?

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Maybe it really was just my lucky day.

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Since you've been wearing it,

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you haven't been having much luck.

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Just taking a while to kick in.

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It could happen to anyone.

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I wonder if I could bury my favourite bone

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on the surface of the moon.

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-RUSSIAN ACCENT:

-Prepare for moonwalk, Laika.

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One small step for man's best friend, one giant leap for dogkind.

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-Down, Laika. Down!

-Dani, I'm still not feeling your raw emotion.

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You should be apprehensive, excited, terrified.

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I'm sorry, but it feels false. Laika never landed on the moon.

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I know, but this sequence explores Laika's hopes and dreams.

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Question.

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The bit where Laika plays fetch on the moon - is that really possible?

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Wouldn't the ball just fly into orbit when you tried to throw it?

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-Let's take it from the top.

-Not again.

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I mean, I want to keep it fresh.

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I'm sure I'll crack it tomorrow.

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-A live audience always gets me in the mood.

-Great.

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Because the entire theatre is sold out.

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PHONE RINGS

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Gosh. Who'd have thought Laika Come Home would be so popular?

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I can't go through with this.

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It's too late to back out now.

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You should have told the truth in the first place.

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-Would you stop saying, "I told you so"?

-I told you so.

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Let's see how your story stacks up.

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Get a lie-detector now, shall we?

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-Did you rob the bank on Thursday night?

-No, I did not.

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-Did you blow the vault door?

-No, I did not.

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Did you use the money to purchase expensive jewellery?

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That's ridiculous.

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All right, Fingers, that's enough.

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You've beaten the lie-detector...yet again.

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You're free to go.

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Thanks, Inspector.

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But I'm watching you, Fingers! You hear me? I'm watching you!

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Look on the bright side.

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It's just the local theatre.

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It's not like anyone important will see it.

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Great news. The talent agent I contacted just RSVP'd.

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He's coming to the show tomorrow night especially to see you perform.

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Oh, you're welcome, darling. It's the least you deserve.

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Jack, we'd better pop back to theatre

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to see if the pooper-scoop has arrived for Laika's moonwalk.

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-Good luck, Dani!

-It's bad luck to say "good luck" in a theatre.

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You should say, "Break a leg."

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I'm learning so much about the theatre this week. Break a leg, Dani!

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Ha-ha! Humans are so amusing with all that quaint superstition.

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-It's so silly.

-"Look at me!

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"I'm stepping on a crack!"

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"I'm opening an umbrella up inside!"

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THEY LAUGH

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"Check it out. I'm going to press button number 13!"

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No, not that one!

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Time troops! We're about to be slimed!

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Code Red! Code Red!

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And they say umbrellas indoors is unlucky. Nah-ha-ha!

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If I'm seen in this barking mad play,

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my entire career will be ruined. What am I gonna do?

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Why don't you just drop out?

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I can't. Sam will be crushed.

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Then come up with a really good excuse.

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A little white lie got me into this. Maybe it could get me out.

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Where's the harm?

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Any chance you didn't notice that?

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That's gonna really hurt your savings account.

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-Now go get me a pizza.

-Your legs don't work?

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Do you want to go to the Snakes And Ladders concert?

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All right, I'll get you a pizza.

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You want the usual?

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Hang on. What was I thinking? You pay.

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Hi, Sam.

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I'm really sorry, I can't be Laika.

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You'd better call my understudy.

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You see, the thing is, I had a bit of an accident.

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You won't believe this, but...

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I broke my leg and it's in a really huge cast.

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No, no, no, there's no need for you to come over.

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No, no, that won't be necessary.

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Oh, that's really sweet.

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OK, I'll see you later. Bye!

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What was I thinking?

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Have you heard the news?

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Three hyenas have escaped from the zoo. They're at large in the city!

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-Where's Max?

-He's gone to get me a meat feast pizza.

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Don't tell me. A pack of hyenas stole your pizza?

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It could happen to anyone.

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Here. Enjoy.

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Not the lie I would have chosen, but not bad.

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-Ooh! Wish me luck.

-Break a leg.

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Get this lot cleaned up. Fast!

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-Oh, Dani, you poor thing.

-To help scratch under the cast.

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You really are the best.

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You poor thing. It's dreadful you won't be able to play Laika.

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I know. Tell me about it.

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I was in agony and that's all I could think about.

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Maybe I could rewrite the script

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so you can play Laika in a wheelchair.

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Don't be silly. That would go against everything

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your play stands for.

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Laika bounding ahead, one giant leap for dogkind.

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Where are your crutches?

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The hospital ran out.

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This is the worst plaster job I've ever seen.

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-Did they do it with their eyes closed.

-It's not that bad.

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Let me get you a snack. Sandwich?

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You breaking your leg's a blessing in disguise.

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-In what way?

-At least you don't have to appear in Sam's play.

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Hadn't really thought about it.

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-Did Sam mention something about a snack?

-Help yourself.

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Honey or jam? >

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Honey, please!

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-One honey sandwich.

-You needn't worry.

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My understudy's a really good actor.

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He's only eight, but I've heard him bark.

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Jack, I need you in the kitchen.

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-What's up?

-I bought some special cookies.

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Dani's faking. There's no broken leg!

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It's a fake plaster. She's switched legs.

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She is one good actress.

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How could she lie to me like that?

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Just to be clear, there aren't any cookies, are they?

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Why would she jeopardise my very first play?

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Maybe because she thinks Laika Come Home

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is the worst script she's ever read. An offence to the art world.

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-A literary train wreck.

-She said that?

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Maybe...

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To be honest, yeah, she did.

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So she's been lying to me for the entire week?

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Did I mention I love the play?

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I want to hear Dani say she hates my play, that my writing sucks.

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This whole culture of lying has to stop.

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I have to get her to confess.

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Have you considered being honest,

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confronting her and having a real conversation about this?

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Back in the real world...

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-Are you with me?

-Still seems a bit dishonest to me.

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What choice do we have?

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If we're honest, she lies to our faces.

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We're only lying to catch a liar.

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Once we do that, the lying stops.

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I suppose it might work, giving Dani a taste of her own medicine.

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And I have the perfect plan.

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That could happen to anyone.

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You won't believe what happened.

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You've just had your VIP tour of the amusement park,

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thanks to your lucky day with this medallion.

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-Congratulations.

-There's nothing lucky about it.

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The day I got the medallion was the worst day of my life.

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I got lost in the haunted house.

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It was three hours before anyone realised the screaming dummy was me.

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So what? Your VIP pass didn't exactly work out.

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-What about that £50 note you found?

-I used it for my fare home.

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I was arrested for circulating counterfeit money.

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-You're lying.

-That medallion's cursed.

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Please stop trying to scam me. I'm not giving back this medallion.

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Didn't realise a broken leg would be so boring.

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I got my step-dad to pull some strings

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The specialist is going to give you a home visit. Surprise!

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-He's coming here?

-He's gonna examine your leg.

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I don't think that'll be necessary.

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Nonsense. You've broken your leg. You deserve to be seen by an expert.

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DOORBELL

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-That's him!

-I don't feel like seeing a doctor right now.

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You again. Thanks for coming back.

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I forgot to take a blood sample.

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If you wouldn't mind rolling up your sleeve...

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Oh, no, you don't!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

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I've never seen a plaster cast quite like this.

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So it's a bit shoddy, a bit rushed. Maybe the nurse was in a hurry.

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I did that one. I call it Picture Of A Doggy On Dani's Cast.

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Something about this doesn't seem right.

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OK, you got me.

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The truth is...

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Wait, aren't you in my acting class? Wednesday night in the village hall?

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-Remember? Sam, didn't we lend him the bus fare home one time?

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-That's right. This is Dr Rathborne.

-Bone.

-Rathbone.

0:18:200:18:24

He attends acting classes in his free time.

0:18:240:18:27

-He definitely is a real, genuine doctor.

-Yeah.

0:18:270:18:30

Hmm... Oh, dear.

0:18:340:18:37

Oh, dear.

0:18:370:18:39

-Oh, dear.

-What is it? What's wrong?

0:18:390:18:41

Can you feel that?

0:18:440:18:46

-Yep.

-It's worse than I thought.

0:18:460:18:49

You have a very rare and serious condition.

0:18:490:18:52

-It's called Pinocchitus disease.

-Please say it isn't so.

0:18:520:18:56

But I thought I only had a broken leg...if that.

0:18:560:18:59

Pinocchitus is a disease of the mind.

0:18:590:19:02

I'll let the news sink in.

0:19:020:19:04

Give me a call when you're ready to discuss this.

0:19:040:19:06

Now. I'm ready now.

0:19:060:19:08

-What's wrong with my mind?

-You see?

0:19:080:19:11

She has to ask.

0:19:110:19:14

I'm on the gner if you need me.

0:19:140:19:15

-The gner?

-What gner?

0:19:150:19:17

You said you're on the gner if I need you.

0:19:170:19:19

No, I'm on the phone.

0:19:190:19:21

Auditory hallucinations already taking hold.

0:19:210:19:24

Thank you so much for coming.

0:19:240:19:27

Good luck.

0:19:290:19:31

Spoon the flip-flops with your sprinkle.

0:19:310:19:34

You too. Thanks for coming.

0:19:340:19:36

Try to stay calm. Let's see what this disease involves

0:19:450:19:49

and then bugbears in blancmange can be ticklish, OK?

0:19:490:19:53

Ah, Pinocchitus disease. Let's see. Symptoms...

0:19:530:19:56

"First, you'll start hearing things, then you'll start to feel warm.

0:19:570:20:01

Some patients see spots before their eyes."

0:20:010:20:02

That doesn't sound so bad.

0:20:020:20:04

"You may experience double vision and then paranoia sets in."

0:20:040:20:07

-How am I going to cope?

-There's more. "And right before the end..."

0:20:070:20:11

-The end?

-"You start speaking a nonsense language..."

0:20:110:20:14

I'm gonna be talking gibberish?

0:20:140:20:16

It sounds serious. You can't make this stuff up.

0:20:160:20:19

-No, sir.

-There must be a cure.

-I'm sorry, Dani, there isn't a cure.

0:20:190:20:24

But we're your best friends. We'll be here for you.

0:20:240:20:27

If you want to talk about anything...

0:20:270:20:29

anything you want to get off your chest before it's too late?

0:20:290:20:32

Nothing springs to mind.

0:20:320:20:33

So you really think this'll make Dani confess?

0:20:360:20:39

Definitely. All we have to do is turn up the heat.

0:20:390:20:42

Yeah, really put her under pressure.

0:20:420:20:44

No, I mean literally turn up the heat.

0:20:440:20:47

Wow, it's really hot in here.

0:20:530:20:55

Can we open a window or something?

0:20:550:20:57

Don't be silly. It's cold out.

0:20:570:20:59

In fact, I can use another porcupine.

0:20:590:21:01

Brrr, I'm freezing.

0:21:010:21:03

Wiggle.

0:21:030:21:05

Oh, no, feeling warm - it's the next symptom.

0:21:050:21:09

I didn't think the disease would progress this quickly.

0:21:090:21:12

Please tell me you can see that.

0:21:140:21:16

See what?

0:21:160:21:18

-What are you looking at?

-It's what the medical journal said.

0:21:180:21:21

I'm getting red spots before my eyes.

0:21:210:21:23

That's it. I'm calling Dr Rathbone.

0:21:230:21:26

Now, I know you had concerns about the size,

0:21:310:21:35

particularly the length, of your nose.

0:21:350:21:38

But you'll be thrilled to know that the plastic surgery was a success.

0:21:380:21:41

I'm sure you'll agree your face is now more evenly proportioned.

0:21:450:21:50

Wow, thanks! That's much better.

0:21:500:21:53

The doctor should be here any minute. I left the door on the latch.

0:22:000:22:04

He said for me to bring down your temperature with a glass of water.

0:22:040:22:08

-Thanks, Sam. Which one's mine?

-There's just one glass.

0:22:080:22:11

Oh, no, it's the next symptom.

0:22:110:22:14

I've started to see double.

0:22:140:22:16

Maybe a snack would help.

0:22:160:22:18

Please tell me you can see two sandwiches.

0:22:180:22:21

All right, you got me.

0:22:210:22:23

-Technically there should be two, but I ate the other one.

-Hello?

0:22:230:22:29

Thank goodness, the doctor's arrived.

0:22:290:22:30

We're in here, Doctor.

0:22:300:22:32

I understand you're seeing spots before your eyes.

0:22:350:22:38

Are you starting to see double yet?

0:22:380:22:40

-A little.

-It's OK, Dani. Dr Rathbone is here to help.

0:22:400:22:44

There are two Dr Rathbones.

0:22:440:22:45

Please tell me you can see two Dr Rathbones.

0:22:450:22:48

She's been like this all afternoon.

0:22:480:22:50

I'm not really sure how much she understands.

0:22:500:22:53

Hmm. The Pinocchitus is a lot more advanced than I feared.

0:22:560:23:00

It is?

0:23:000:23:02

I'd recommend a second opinion, but there simply isn't time.

0:23:050:23:10

-I hope you've had put all your affairs in order.

-He's right, Dani.

0:23:120:23:17

-You should tie up any loose ends.

-Say anything that needs to be said.

0:23:170:23:21

Is there nothing you can do, Doctor?

0:23:210:23:23

The monkey with the suitcase threw the fox a party.

0:23:230:23:27

There's nothing I can do.

0:23:270:23:29

Oh, no. You know what happens next? I start talking gibberish.

0:23:290:23:34

-I'm sorry, Dani. I didn't understand any of that.

-No-o-o-o!

0:23:340:23:39

Cool, you got your laptop fixed.

0:23:400:23:42

-Finally. Cola?

-Don't mind if I do.

0:23:420:23:45

Unlucky.

0:23:480:23:49

All right, all right, I admit it, this medallion's cursed.

0:23:490:23:53

Nothing's gone right since I got it.

0:23:530:23:55

-Told you. Uncle's postcard was right.

-Here. I want nothing to do with it.

0:23:550:23:59

No way. That curse is your problem.

0:23:590:24:02

Wait a minute. There's a letter from the Snakes and Ladders Fan Club.

0:24:020:24:06

A backstage pass to their concert.

0:24:090:24:11

My name was randomly selected from 5,000 fan club members.

0:24:130:24:17

I won! I knew it!

0:24:180:24:20

This medallion really IS lucky.

0:24:200:24:23

It stays right around my neck, baby.

0:24:230:24:26

Wait a minute. Is that an owl?

0:24:270:24:30

In the daytime? In a built-up area?

0:24:300:24:33

-My pass!

-OK, what were the chances of that?

0:24:340:24:39

Hang on. What's this?

0:24:440:24:46

Another letter from Snakes and Ladders.

0:24:460:24:49

For Dani.

0:24:490:24:50

Sam, we need to talk.

0:24:580:25:00

-There's something I have to say while I can talk.

-I understood that.

0:25:000:25:04

This is hard to say and you'll be upset,

0:25:050:25:08

but...I don't have a broken leg.

0:25:080:25:11

It's fake. I didn't want to be in your play

0:25:110:25:13

and I thought telling the truth would hurt your feelings, so I lied.

0:25:130:25:18

-I see.

-Laika Come Home just didn't appeal to me.

0:25:180:25:20

I couldn't connect with it, you know?

0:25:200:25:23

Theatre should pull at your heart strings, grip you,

0:25:230:25:26

take you to another place, really mesmerise...

0:25:260:25:29

All right. There's no need to go on about it.

0:25:290:25:31

I'm really sorry, Sam.

0:25:310:25:34

I was so selfish. And now I'm afflicted with this horrible disease

0:25:340:25:38

and I've re-evaluated life.

0:25:380:25:40

Now I know what matters.

0:25:400:25:42

We're friends and I should want to be in your play no matter what.

0:25:420:25:45

And now I'm sick and losing my mind and I just really hope

0:25:450:25:48

-you can forgive me.

-At last.

-Success! Give me some!

0:25:480:25:52

-What do you mean?

-I knew you were faking. I just wanted you to confess.

0:25:520:25:55

There's nothing wrong with you. Dr Rathbone was a fake.

0:25:550:25:58

-What about the other Dr Rathbone?

-Twins. We figured, if we tricked you

0:25:580:26:02

you'd think twice before lying to us.

0:26:020:26:04

So there's no such thing as Pinocchitus disease?

0:26:040:26:07

Of course not. I made it up.

0:26:070:26:10

Oh, Hallelujah! I'm gonna live!

0:26:120:26:15

-What about the spots?

-Fake.

0:26:150:26:18

Wow. Those two Dr Rathbones were really convincing.

0:26:180:26:21

-I wrote all their lines.

-You really are a good writer.

0:26:210:26:24

-I promise I'll never lie again.

-So you want to be in my play?

0:26:240:26:27

Look, you've made me realise what friendship is all about,

0:26:270:26:30

so I'm gonna be in your play. Woof, woof.

0:26:300:26:33

Thank you!

0:26:330:26:34

Curtains go up at seven.

0:26:340:26:36

-Looking forward to it.

-Break a leg.

0:26:360:26:38

So, there you have it.

0:26:390:26:41

Now you understand why I agreed to be Laika the space dog.

0:26:410:26:44

You were already going to the Snakes and Ladders gig.

0:26:470:26:50

Oh, yeah. How did you find out?

0:26:500:26:52

Your tickets just arrived.

0:26:520:26:54

You made me be your personal assistant for a whole week

0:26:540:26:58

and you were going anyway!

0:26:580:26:59

-You're just unlucky, I guess.

-My luck's about to change.

0:26:590:27:03

-Good riddance, curse!

-Wait. What is it?

0:27:040:27:07

Just a stupid old lump of gold.

0:27:070:27:10

Wow, this would look great as the tag on Laika's collar.

0:27:100:27:13

-Wait.

-What?

0:27:130:27:16

Oh, nothing. You go ahead.

0:27:160:27:17

Wear the medallion. Enjoy.

0:27:170:27:19

Right, I'm off to the theatre for our world premiere. Wish me luck.

0:27:190:27:23

That won't do much good.

0:27:230:27:25

Ow! Ow! My leg!

0:27:270:27:29

I think it's broken. Call an ambulance!

0:27:290:27:32

You shouldn't be watching TV while driving.

0:27:350:27:37

-I'm fine. I do it all the time.

-Look out!

0:27:370:27:41

-There's a dog in the fast lane!

-Humans are so irresponsible!

0:27:430:27:46

That thing should be on a lead.

0:27:460:27:48

-Aw! Aw, look what it's doing on the satellite.

-Oh, dirty!

0:27:480:27:54

# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

0:27:540:27:59

# Let's lift these chains

0:27:590:28:01

# Let's rock this wave right out to sea

0:28:010:28:06

# I will be

0:28:060:28:11

# Breaking free. #

0:28:110:28:12

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:120:28:13

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0:28:130:28:15

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