Bollywood Dani's House

-Oh, that's very shiny. What is it?

-The humans call it a tro-phy.

-Ooh.

What does it do?

Nothing, they just keep it on a shelf or, sometimes,

if they've got lots of them, they put them in a big glass cage.

So it's some sort of pet. Ah! Hello, there, shiny winey.

Fetch.

Ah. Well, that's a bit of a rubbish pet.

It's not a pet, it's made out of precious metals.

CLANG-CLANG!

Maybe it's a pet that makes a clang-clang noise when it's hurt.

It's a non-pet, shiny thing that humans get

-when they beat other humans in a game.

-Ah.

-I'll keep it here on my side.

-What? Why do you get to keep it?

-I want it here on my side.

-You didn't win it!

-Neither did you!

Then we should share it!

Or maybe we could play a game ourselves

and the winner gets to keep the trophy.

Ah, oh. Good idea.

-But what game?

-Maybe we could play clonkers?

Bring it on.

-Oh. Ah, look, it's Dani's House.

-Oh, let's watch the show.

-Hey, guys, my name's Dani and this...

-Is her best friend, Jack.

-Thanks. My name's Dani and this...

-Is her brother, Max.

-And his best friend, Ben.

-As I was saying, my name's Dani and this...

-Is her friend, Ruby.

-And I'm her sister, Maisy.

And I'm Dani and this is the brilliant...

THEY TALK OVER ONE ANOTHER

Can you hear that racket Max is making?

SILENCE

No, neither can I.

He is away on a school camping trip,

which means I get the place all to myself.

Ah, the sweet sound of silence.

MAISY SCREAMS

# I'm going, I'm going I'm going, I'm going. #

I'm going to the launch party for the new computer game...

Princess Of Darkness.

MUSIC BLARES

-This bit is totally sick.

-Loving the bass! Gets you right here!

-BOTH: Woah!

-Bed head.

Mirror malfunction.

Meera, calm down, it can't be that bad. You're at the hospital!

Your ankle's twisted! You're on crutches! Hello? Hello?

My cousin Meera can't be my partner for the dance contest.

My life totally sucks. Aaargh!

Well, the peace and quiet was nice while it lasted(!)

Wait a second. Dance contest!

-Yeah, I'm a dancer. Is that so hard to believe?

-Yeah.

-Really hard.

-Can't believe it.

-No way.

-You just don't look like a dancer.

-And how is a dancer supposed to look?

-Like anyone but you.

-Oh, yeah, well, how about now?

-Oh.

-Woah.

-Or now?

-Impressive.

-Or now?

-Wow, nice moves.

-You're pretty good.

-Where did you learn how to dance?

I go to dance lessons with my cousin.

We're supposed to be competing in the Bollywood dance contest

tomorrow night, but she's twisted her ankle.

-Oh, ouch. How did she do that?

-Is that really important right now?

-Your fault, right?

-It was an accident.

-Oh, wow, nice trophy.

-Woah. Look at the size of that thing.

-Is that real money?

-Yeah, this is the closest I'm going to get to it.

Goodbye, Bollywood dream.

The dream's not over. I'll be your dance partner.

-I'll be your dance partner.

-No, I'll be your dance partner.

No, you won't. You will be taking me to the launch tomorrow night.

Have any of you ever done any Bollywood dancing?

-ALL: Yeah, loads.

-It's my favourite, I love it.

THEY TALK OVER ONE ANOTHER

Great. So, that's none of you?

Think you can learn the routine by tomorrow night?

-Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

-Yes, I'm back in the game.

Hey, that's not fair. Why'd you choose her?

Well, her name begins with a D, which is closest to B for Bollywood.

Yeah, cos that's fair, isn't it?!

Well, you two could always enter as well.

Yeah, right, like we could win.

BOTH: We could win.

Oh, great, why don't you invite the whole world to compete against us?!

Ruby is coming to me, instead of you,

and there's nothing you can do about it.

She made a promise and no-one double crosses the Princess of Darkness.

Sh-zam. Ah, help me, I'm shrinking!

You are one little world of weird.

You'll just have to wait and buy the game in the morning.

One night's not going to make a difference.

Only a nube would say that. Getting it first is everything.

I want to be up to my eyeballs in XP points by sunrise.

Sorry, Maisy, but I'm going to Bollywood. Game over.

SHE SCREAMS

'Coming soon, to a games console near you, The Princess Of Darkness.

'Bite and scream your way through 21 terrifying levels,

'as you take on the ultimate Empress of Evil.

'Be afraid, for nothing stands in her way.'

OK, next lesson.

Ready? Five, six, seven, eight.

# Change the light bulbs to the left

# Change the light bulbs to the right

# Wash the windows way down low

# Wash the windows way up high

# Stroke the dog and post a letter

# Stroke the dog and post a letter

# Flick your wrists and touch the sky

# Flick your wrists and touch the sky

# Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo Peek-a-boo. #

-Ow, my eye!

-I'm so sorry. Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'll be fine.

-This is hopeless. I'm never going to get it.

-Don't panic.

-You've got all day to get it.

-I'm due on set at McHurties in an hour.

OK, panic.

Cos I'm used to yelling at you, dancing with you feels weird.

So, yell at me. I don't mind. I actually quite like it.

MUSIC PLAYS

Let's spy on Ruby and Jack, see how they're getting on.

We haven't got time. Now, let's take it from the top.

Dani?

-They're better than us.

-They can't be.

-See, she's not poking his eye out.

-Wow, they're really nailing this.

How can they be so good? We only started this morning.

Maybe because they're practising, instead of wasting their time

spying on people.

I'm not going to a competition to be beaten by Jack and Ruby.

You're right. We should give up.

What? No!

We're not giving up, we're just going to loosen a few light bulbs.

-Now, give me your phone.

-Why?

-They'll recognise my number.

Thank you.

PHONE RINGS

Jack, here.

No, I can't DJ right now. I'm washing windows.

You'll pay me double? All right, I'm on my way.

Got a gig at the Apollo.

You can't go to work. We need to practise.

-You can't do that.

-You want to win this competition or not?

I want to win, but I don't want to do anything

that's going to give me bad karma.

-You've lost me.

-You've heard of karma?

Yeah, I've had chicken korma loads. I do prefer a hot vindaloo, though.

Not korma, karma.

My family believe that how you lead your life

leads to good or bad karma.

Good actions to good fortune, bad actions to bad fortune.

Sending Jack on a wild goose chase was a bad action?

-You think it's good?

-If it helps us win the competition, yeah.

You've got a boat-load of bad karma coming your way.

Why? Wasn't my mobile that made the call. I'm off to work.

Sometimes, I really don't like her.

Got to keep practising, even at work.

OK, people, let's get ready for a take.

Can you believe Ben was trying to scare me

with all that bad karma stuff? As if.

Set. And...action.

-Good morning, Mr Pusebottom. And how are you...?

-Dani, look out!

Watch the light!

-Aaah, wooah, wooah!

-Careful!

-Ah!

THUD!

-Ah!

-Someone go and help her.

-Oh, I'm so sorry.

-Ah!

-Oh!

Everything's falling, ooh.

Cut!

Dani, are you OK?

No, I think I broke my karma.

-Yey!

-Aah!

-I win, champion!

I'd like to dedicate this victory to all my friends and family.

To all the people I've ever met and to all the people I've never met.

This one's for you! But I get to keep it, here on my side.

# The winning side. #

-You cheated.

-I never.

-Your clonker was too big.

My clonker was the same size as your clonker!

-Give me that. I win.

-I win.

-No, I win.

-No, I win.

Yeah, you win.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

COMPUTERISED VOICE: This is your dad.

You promised Maisy you'd take her to the launch tonight.

I can't now. I'm doing this Bollywood thing instead.

A promise is a promise, Ruby. You'll have to miss the dance competition...

SQUEAKY VOICE: ..and take Maisy to the launch night.

Dad, are you OK?

COMPUTERISED VOICE: Yes, I'm fine.

You don't sound fine.

-That's because I've got a bit of a cold.

-You sound like a robot.

My noise is all blocked up. And my throat is...

SQUEAKY VOICE: ..scratchy and sore.

Well, well, well, if it isn't my dear old dad(!)

What's up, doc?

Aaaaaah.

-What's up is that you have bunny-itis.

-Is it serious?

-Oh, no, not at all.

-Phew.

-It just means you're turning into a rabbit.

-What?!

-You're turning into a rabbit.

Or a bunny, as they're more commonly known.

-But that's impossible.

-Oh, no, it's quite common.

You have all the symptoms.

Off your food, you won't eat anything but carrots.

No, but I hate carrots.

SHE SCREAMS

-You've been digging holes with your bare hands.

-No, I haven't.

-You're having trouble standing up.

-No, I can stand up. See.

And your front teeth are ginormous.

Aaaah!

No need to be alarmed. It's perfectly normal.

Normal?! I'm turning into a bunny rabbit!

Don't worry, I'm sure your big sister will take good care of you.

Isn't that right?

Now, hop along. I've other patients to see.

Go on, hop, hop. Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.

It's amazing what you can do with a good printer and a pot of glue.

So sorry to hear about the Bollywood dance competition.

-What are you talking about?

-You mean you haven't heard?

-Heard what?

-It's been cancelled.

-Oh.

-Afraid so. It's front-page news.

-Oh, what a shame.

-And after all that practising you did too.

So sorry, sis.

Guess this means I'm free to take you to the launch night, after all.

-Oh, yeah, I hadn't really thought of that.

-Nice try.

But next time, use stronger glue.

You think I did that?

I'm going to Bollywood.

Arrgh!

How are we supposed to practise a routine with you dressed like that?

I'm not taking any chances. My bad karma's out to get me.

You can't spend your life dressed as an ice hockey

-wicket-keeper goalie.

-Watch me.

Now, can we get on with it, please?

You do it.

-Wait, wait. Stop, stop.

-What did you do that for?

I was just getting into my flow.

Dani, this isn't Bollywood, it's Hockeywood.

-Hey, I made up a new word.

-You want to see me get hurt, is that it?

You want to see that picture just jump off and hit me in the head.

You want to see that carpet flip up and flap me in the face.

-Or, you want to see that bee buzz up my nose.

-Dani, you're overreacting.

You've taken this bad karma thing way too far. And there is no bee.

Really? You don't hear that buzzing?

Oh, you're right, it's stopped.

BUZZING

That's because the bee's in my helmet. The bee is in my helmet!

CRASH!

Now do you think I'm overreacting?

There is something you could try that might help.

-Hmm.

-Hmm-mmm-mmm.

-Dani, that was de-lish.

-Too right, I will not forgeti that spaghetti.

Are you sure this is going to work?

Mum says, "If you want good karma, do nice things for others."

Let's hope she wasn't saying that to get you to do the washing up.

Woah! Knickerbocker glory.

This is too much, what's the special occasion?

I wanted to do something nice for my friends.

Yeah, but there's nice and there's niiice.

Can't I just do something nice for my friends?

BOTH: No, no, you can't.

-Usually means you're up to something.

-Oh, nice.

Ben, you want to tell us what's going on?

I just wanted to show you that even though we're competing

in the Bollywood dance contest, we can still be friends.

Although now, I'm having second thoughts.

-OK, now I feel bad.

-Me too.

GURGLING

-Actually, I really do.

-Me, too.

-It's OK. I forgive you.

No, I mean, I really feel bad.

-Me, too.

-Look, I forgive you, let's just move on.

LOUD GURGLING

Woah, what was that? I think there's a pipe about to burst.

-I think the ice cream was off.

-It can't be, I bought it fresh today.

Well, what about the hundreds and thousands?

Uh-oh. The best-before date was five years ago.

They have a best-before date? I thought they lasted forever.

You poisoned us.

This meal was just so you could ruin our chances in the competition.

No, no. I just wanted to make up for the fact that

I sent Jack on a wild-goose chase to the Apollo.

GURGLING CONTINUES

Oh, just give me a minute and I'll explain.

I haven't got a minute.

I'm going first.

Well, that's my good karma flushed down the toilet.

Just to be on the safe side, I'd wear this.

'And here's the host with the most, Johnny Sparkle.'

Ha-hey! Hello!

Thank you very much.

Well, hello there, folks,

and welcome to another date with disaster on...

Rotate Your Fate.

# Rotate Your Fate. #

Today's contestant is...Dani.

Dani, come on down and face your fate.

So, Dani, it says here that you want

to beat your friends at a dance competition so badly that

you've been thinking of ways to mess with their mojo.

Well, I tried making it up to them by cooking them a meal.

And almost poisoned them.

AUDIENCE GASPS

But was that your fault? Should you get the blame? Let's find out.

Spin that wheel.

'So, is Dani going to be lucky tonight,

'or will she be standing on a rake?

'Perhaps, slipping on a banana skin? Or, my favourite, the paper cut?'

Congratulations, Dani. No misfortune.

Your karma has been restored.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

AUDIENCE BOOS

In your face, losers.

And that's what you get.

Do you think it's called diarrhoea

-because something dire happens to your rear?

-Time out.

Do I look like the kind of girl who wants to talk about bottoms?

-But...

-Or butts. Now, let's rehearse.

I have to be at the launch night tonight for Princess Of Darkness.

It's all I can think about.

I keep seeing myself tearing off that cellophane wrapper,

hearing the click as I open the box.

Feeding it into the slot and watching it disappear.

# Flick the wrists and touch the sky

# Change the light bulbs to the right

# Change the light bulbs to the right

-# Touch the sky. #

-Two, three.

New game. Click.

Think I'm going to let these two Bollywood bozos

get in the way of that? Then think again.

Launch night, here I come.

Don't try this at home. It stains your clothes.

Ahem. Aaah!

-Maisy!

-Oh, blood! I'm not good with blood.

Oh. Make yourself useful and find the first aid kit!

-It's weird, I can't see a cut.

-Ow, that hurts.

I need to find it to help make you feel better.

-Do you know what would really make me feel better?

-What?

Going to the launch party tonight to get the new game.

OK, OK. I'll take you to the launch night.

Yes! # Ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha! #

Do you want some chips with your ketchup?

Uh-oh. Time for a speedy recovery.

Argh! Come here, you! I'm going to Bollywood.

It's OK, it's OK. First aid...

Nee-nor.

# Flick the wrists and touch the sky Flick the wrists and touch the sky

# Peek-a-boo. #

-Big finish.

-# ..Peek-a-boo

# Squash the wasp Squash the wasp

# Sss. Snake bite Sss. Snake bite

# Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo Peek... #

Aaaah!

I'm never going to get that ending. It's too hard.

I've only got a few hours until the competition. We've run out of time.

You can do it. I know you can. Relax. It'll be all right on the night.

That's what people say when they've got days to go.

Tonight is the night, it won't be all right.

-It's all going to go wrong.

-You can't go wrong if you wear this.

-Is that for me?

-It's the sari Meera was going to wear tonight.

She wants you to have it.

-It's beautiful.

-The old lady who made it said it had magical powers.

It can make you dance like a rose petal in the wind.

This has got good karma written all over it.

-Oh, no, has it?

-No, I mean, my fortunes have changed.

My karma book for beginners says that good things happen

to good people.

-And we're good people, right?

-See. I told you.

-Hang on.

Aren't Ruby and Jack good people too?

-We should practise that ending again.

-Over and over.

Dani.

Oh, wow. That is a-mazing.

You're going to look like a real Bollywood princess. I'm so jealous.

They say it has magical powers. Woo!

Well, could you get it to magic up another one for me?

This one is lacking some serious bling.

-Ruby.

-Yeah?

-You know what, why don't you wear it?

-No, no, I couldn't do that.

-I insist, let's swap.

-It's yours, you made it.

Just call it a present to make up for the dodgy cooking.

We accused you of trying to poison us

when you were just rubbish at reading labels.

I can read this label and it's got your name written on it.

You're the best friend in the world!

I can't believe you gave her the magic sari.

-Look at how she's dancing.

-She's awesome, I know.

Which could be because the sari's magic.

Or it could be because she's been practising.

We didn't practise that move. Did we miss something out?

No, that isn't part of the routine. What's she doing?

We need to get going, but this sari, it's making me itch.

-Ah!

-ALL: Eurgh!

-That looks gross.

-My neck feels worse.

Come on. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.

Aaaah!

Ow, ah, my ankle. I twisted it.

-Ouch, bad luck.

-I bet you put itching powder in the sari. Go on, admit it.

-We did no such thing. Did we? No. That's a definite no.

-It's OK.

-It's not twisted.

-Hah. Your evil plan failed.

-It wasn't us.

It must be the fabric that's making you itch.

Save your excuses for the dance floor.

Cos you're going down, big time.

Come on, Jack. We've got a trophy to win.

And I need get out of this thing.

It's OK. Still not twisted.

-Do I need to get the colander again?

-It wasn't me!

'Yes, yes, yes. Well, that was couples number 12 and 19.

'Weren't they fabulous?'

Aaah!

-A plank just fell on my head.

-It's not going to work.

-We're not going to the launch night. End of.

-It really did, honest.

It worked much better with the ketchup.

-Surprised you two have got the nerve to show your face.

-It wasn't us.

How you going to cheat this time? Put ants in Jack's pants?

We didn't put ants in your pants. Did we? No. No, we didn't.

I'm sick of everyone thinking I'm cheating.

We are going to win this competition, fair and square.

'Couples number 17 and 21, to the dance floor, please.

'Couples 17 and 21, please.'

-Oh, that was great, Dani, you did it.

-It was all right on the night.

-Just a shame you'll only come second.

-Really?

Who do you think won?

'Ladies and gentlemen, we have the results.

-'In third place is couple number 21.'

-What?

-Goodbye, Bollywood dream.

Just goes to show you can't cheat your way to the top spot.

'Oh, oh, sorry, my mistake. Third place, couple number 12.'

Ha, back in the game.

'And in joint second place are couples number 17 and 21.'

-But not for long.

-Joint second! But how can that be possible?

Er, by getting the same amount of points.

I'll just get the prize.

'And the one you've all been waiting for,

'first place goes to couple number 19!'

Look, for what it's worth, I think you two should have won.

-You were amazing.

-Thanks, Dani.

Although, I don't know, you real nailed that big finish.

-You should have won.

-We should have been joint first.

You'll never guess what the prize is.

-Princess Of Darkness.

-Princess Of Darkness! Ah!

Well, at least someone's dream came true tonight(!)

And to think I wasted all that time putting laxative in your ice cream

or itching powder in your sari.

ALL: That was you?!

Yup, and she got the blame. How funny is that?!

-I don't know what to say.

-I'll start with...sorry.

I think we all learnt a valuable lesson today.

Never mess with The Princess of Darkness.

# Sometimes, I feel like breaking free

# Let's live this change Let's ride this wave right out to sea

# I will be breaking free. #