Dani's Day Off Dani's House

We're too close to Earth. We need to fire the flasma plasma rockets.

Can I fire them? I've been practising. Look!

Vroom! Pssheew! Pssheew! Neeee!

Very smooth. That is impressive. Good driving...

-for a toy!

-LAUGHTER

-Firing the flasma plasma rockets in 3...2...1...

-Weeeee!

-Take your finger off the button!

-Wooooo!

Take your... Stop the...!

ROCKET STOPS

Great!

You've broken it now! Happy?

Yes, it's time for Dani's House. We can watch it upside down! Weeeee!

-Hey, guys. My name's Dani, and this...

-Is your best friend, Jack.

-Thanks. My name's Dani, and this...

-Is her brother, Max.

-And his best friend Ben.

-As I was saying, my name's Dani and this...

Is her friend, Ruby.

And I'm her sister, Maisy.

And I'm Dani, and this is the brilliant Dan...

THEY BICKER

SHE BLOWS WHISTLE

THEY LAUGH

-ALARM BEEPS

-'Morning, sleepy head!'

'Time to get up. Don't put me on snooze!

'Get up now, on your feet. You've got to go to...'

-CLOCK CUCKOOS

-Ow! Leave me alone!

Ow! I don't want to go!

OK, I'm getting up!

Listen, there is a reason you live in that house by yourself.

You're mean and you're...beaky!

CLOCK SQUEALS

-DANI GROANS

-I so don't want to go in today.

Filming this scene with a runaway bull charging through the hospital.

A proper big, scary bull. With horns!

I mean, I'm a nurse, not a bullfighter!

This will be disastrous. Ouch! Ouch!

OUCH!

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Hey! How's my girl?

You got in a fight with a comb again?

It started it.

How do you do that?

Played with my food as a kid and we had spaghetti a lot.

Come on. Better go, or we'll be late.

Oh, I can't go to work today. My...er...

..feet are stuck to the floor. See?

Oh... You've got the scene with the bull today. Worried?

-Not worried, terrified.

-I'm sure it'll be trained.

Where? The Acting School For Bulls?

Nurse Swan gets the cushty parts, and I get the runaway livestock.

Guess whose lazy clients cancelled today?

-You free?

-It's a sign!

A sign Ruby needs more reliable clients.

My to-do list is blank before my gig. Who wants to have a laugh?

-It's another sign!

-A sign they have a day off.

-You don't.

-I think the universe wants me to take today off.

You've got to go to work.

And they don't want you getting into trouble. Do you?

-It's only one day.

-Exactly!

Remember last time Zarina caught someone bunking off?

We're so glad to see you back. Here, we've made you a cake.

You're...fired?

-Oof!

-Enjoy!

I'm going to work.

Don't go to work! We're going to have so much fun!

This is going to be the best day ever!

Stop trying to tempt me.

-All you need to do is call in sick.

-But I'm not. I'm fine.

Until I get to work, and get trampled by a bull.

You don't look very well to me. Definitely a temperature.

-Those spots are bad.

-RASPING: That throat, doesn't sound good.

It feels wrong.

You're not skipping something important, like school.

ALL: Stay in school!

If you don't go, they'll have to use Nurse Thorne to stop the bull.

-I'm in! What are we doing today?

-Yes!

-Ha-ha!

Want to see the funniest thing in the universe?

In my experience, people who say that

turn out to be poor judges of comedy.

Check this out. CRASHING DRUMS

Hilarious, isn't it?

I can't stop laughing. My sides are splitting(!)

I'll upload it to the net. Let the world be my judge.

Now that is hilarious.

You thinking anyone's going to watch.

First, we go swimming.

Then, catch a movie.

And fall about on the ice for a bit.

-Fill up on pepperoni.

-And then...

-..Burn it off at a gig.

-Perfect day!

-Triple fist-pump!

-ALL: BOOM!

Forgetting something? (RASPING) You've got a phone call to make!

I'm starting to feel ill thinking about making this call.

So, I'm not really lying.

-PHONE RINGS

-Zarina?

Who is this?

If you've got the wrong number, just say.

Don't stay on the line, too embarrassed.

I'm very important, and you're wasting my time.

-Er, is this the penguin rescue centre?

-Sorry?

I...erm, found a penguin that needs rescuing.

Do I sound like the kind of person that rescues penguins? Goodbye!

You haven't done this before, have you?

I panicked! Didn't know what to say.

So, penguin rescue centre? Interesting.

-You could tell her I'm ill.

-No way! You do your own dirty work.

You can say you saw me and I was sick as a parrot.

-Or a penguin.

-She'll know I'm lying. She's got X-ray vision.

You're a brilliant actor. It'll be a piece of cake.

Which I'll be face down in if I get it wrong.

You'll be so convincing even I'll think I'm ill. Please?

OK. I'll do it.

You're the best boyfriend ever!

I'd kiss you goodbye, but I'd catch that nasty cold.

Grab your goggles, guys. We're swimming to the movies.

Your finger must be hurting after clicking on that clip 357 times.

You're just jealous. It's got more views than anything you could do.

Oh, please. I could film my ear and get more views.

I am the master of crowd-pleasing content. You can't beat me.

Fine. Let's put it to the test.

Bring...it...on.

We have till 5pm tomorrow to make and upload clips,

and whoever has the clip with the most views, wins.

-You're heading for digital disaster.

-Let the attention seeking begin.

SHE SNAPS HER FINGERS

I ordered ten litres of fake blood. You've only sent me five.

Well, you should've checked your stock before you took my order.

I want my fake blood here in one hour, or else I'll be using yours!

Hi, Zarina! You're looking lovely. I love that blouse, by the way.

Oh, Dani's not coming in. She's sick. Bye!

Is she really sick, or pretending to be sick?

What? No, she's in bed.

-Having a lie in?

-Being ill.

-Does she have a fever?

-Yeah, and spots.

-How many?

-I didn't count.

-On the face or all over?

-All over.

-When did they appear?

-Er...last night.

-Oh, why didn't she call me then?

-She couldn't. She lost her voice.

-Why didn't she text me?

Her hands...swelled up like baseball gloves.

Hmmm. And did she say when she might come in?

She said the doctor gave her some pink medicine

and she should be back on her feet tomorrow.

How could she, if she'd lost her voice?

She couldn't have written it down with those swollen hands.

How did she communicate? Morse code? Smoke signals?

Semaphore?

She pointed at the medicine bottle, then pointed at tomorrow's date

and then give me a thumbs up.

Did she, now? How inventive.

She's really ill, OK? She's got a fever, spots and swollen hands

and I should be looking after her instead of being interrogated.

-So she really is ill? Poor thing.

-Yeah...

-Poor thing.

-Maybe I should pay her a visit.

Card and flowers may cheer her up.

I'd like a big bouquet of flowers!

Front crawl to the end of the high street,

butterfly through the park, and backstroke to the leisure centre.

Last one to the deep end buys the popcorn!

If these goggles were 3D, we wouldn't have to get changed.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-Hi, Dani. How's your day off?

Just wanted to tell you Zarina is on her way. Bye!

-What?

-I... She bought the lie and now she's really worried about you.

She's going to fire me!

She can't fire you without proof.

She's going to see the proof standing here in perfect health.

-You have to fake it.

-What did you say was wrong?

A fever, spots, swollen hands, and you've lost your voice.

Oh, and you've got pink medicine.

Why didn't you throw in blindness, deafness, and a missing leg?

-I panicked! I'm sorry.

-You're the worst boyfriend ever.

DIAL TONE

-Sounds like someone just drained the pool.

-And closed the multiplex.

-You two go without me.

-OK, then!

-Will do!

-Have fun, guys.

-See ya!

-See you, Dani!

-We can't go without you.

-Really?

No. We're your friends.

The least we can do is stick around and help you get sick.

Sounds like somebody needs a makeunder.

Thanks, guys. I'm feeling worse already.

LAUGHTER

Hiya, girl! Can I interest you in a free makeunder?

-Makeunder? Don't you mean makeover?

-Oh no, miss.

The latest trend is the makeunder.

First we need to start with your complexion.

You skin's far too smooth.

-See how much worse you look now?

-Yeah, I look a right mess.

Now we need to do your hair. It's got far too much volume and life.

Argh! You've given me horror hair.

And now you need clothes to complete the look.

I look rubbish. I look like rubbish!

Thank you. Have a nice day now, ta-ra!

CAMERA CLICKS

CAMERA CLICKS

You're doing animation? What a loser.

It may take longer but highbrow entertainment will win the day. Check this out.

-VIDEO: Romeo, Romeo? Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

-See?

Sophisticated.

They don't want sophisticated though, they want silly.

Here, film this.

THUMPING BEATS

-Yes!

-That's it? Punching your way out of a paper bag?

Three words - in, ter, net.

Don't listen to him, he's an idiot. We're going to be huge.

VIDEO: Romeo, Romeo...

DOORBELL

-How's the patient?

-Not good, far from good.

As far away from good as you can get. Not that good is an actual place you can get away from.

-So she's bad?

-Really bad.

She's as sick as a penguin... Poodle, parrot!

-She's as sick as a parrot. She's sick.

-Can I see her?

-Oh, no, she's in bed. She can't have any visitors.

-Oh, I won't be long.

Dani, darling. How are you, dear?

DANI GROANS

Ooh, gosh. You have lost your voice, haven't you? Here.

I've brought you a card to cheer you... Goodness,

those hands are so swollen.

Oh, it breaks my heart to see you like this.

I know I can be a monster at times but really, you are all my babies.

Here, take these. With love from me.

Achoo!

That's weird. I could've sworn you had more spots a moment ago.

Er...I think the medicine must be working.

Mm, the doctor said she needs plenty of rest

so we should probably let her sleep.

Yes, of course. Well, if there's anything you need, I'm here to help.

Thank you.

What did you say?

Umm...

I said, "thank you" on behalf of Dani because she can't speak. Obviously.

Hmm. Well, that's funny, it sounded just like Dani.

-Yes, people often say we sound alike.

-Do they now?

-Mm-hmm.

-You're faking, aren't you?

-Mm-mm.

I can't prove that you're lying but I will, Dani. Oh, I will!

Me and my big mouth.

We can't just "hang around" all day, ha ha! There's work to be done.

Such a shame you can't fix those rockets

and there's nothing else we can do except watch Dani's house.

Well, wait a second. Let me try this.

ELECTRONIC BEEP

-Yay, you've fixed it(!)

-Right, back to work, then.

The flasma-plasma rockets need de-squonking.

Ow, ooh! I'm starting to feel very ill. Oh, my tummy's rumbling.

Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble.

Fake illnesses might work with the humans but this is me,

hyper-intelligent coordinator Zang you're dealing with here.

Fair enough, I'll just have to do this then.

BEEP

Whoa!

Coordinator? Stop it, Coordinator! Agh!

Agh! What next? Rockets have gone.

-La la la.

-Argh!

I can't go out, Zarina will catch me. She'll have her spies out everywhere.

-Well then, let's have our fun day out indoors.

-I'll make new cards.

OK? One, two, three, fire!

Well, let's start with the food testing cos I'm starving.

Let the fun day begin.

SQUEAL OF DELIGHT

It'd better not be anything disgusting.

-Oh, as if we'd do that to you.

-OK, we'll give you a clue.

-It's sweet and juicy.

-Oh, that doesn't sound so bad.

-DANI COUGHS

-Oh, that's disgusting.

What, Jack is that one of your socks?

DOORBELL

-Do you think Zarina's come back?

-It can't be.

-It might be.

Action stations!

Oh, blue cheese, I'd have got that.

-False alarm.

-It could be Zarina in disguise.

-Are you a woman disguised as a man?

-What do you think? Sign here.

Sorry, mate. I don't know where she gets these crazy ideas from.

OK, no more time-wasting. Let the fun day begin.

MUSIC PLAYS

-DOORBELL

-Action stations!

But I was winning!

SHE COUGHS

False alarm. Oh, unless you think THIS is a woman disguised as a man.

-I have no idea what she's talking about. Meat feast?

-Thanks.

OK, no more interruptions. Let the fun day begin.

-The best yodeller the wins this cheese trophy.

-Cheesy.

-Does second-best get Jack's sock?

-Mm-hmm, and third has to eat it.

Ooh, pressure's on.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

# Yodelayee yodelayee yodelay-ee-hoo

# Yodelayee yodelayee yodelay-ee-hoo. #

I've got that beat. Come on.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

# Yodelayee yodelayee yodelay-ee-hoo

# Yodelayee yodelayee yodelay-ee-hoo. #

-I've got you all beat. Come on.

-SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

# Yodelayee yodelayee yodelay-ee-hoo

# Yodelayee yodelayee yodelay-ee-hooooooo! #

-Ooh, close.

-It's a yodel-off.

-You're going to loo-oo-ose!

THEY YODEL IN TURN

THEY ALL INCREASE IN PITCH

RUBY AND JACK RESORT TO SHOUTING

SHE YODELS TRIUMPHANTLY

-RUBY AND JACK: Show-off.

-I think you know who the winner will be.

DOORBELL

-Action stations!

-Saved by the bell.

-What? I was going to win that.

# Yodelay-hee-hoo! #

-False alarm. Unless of course...

-Er, thank you.

Man, this fun day's never going to begin.

-How long have we been fishing in this pond for?

-10 years.

-No, it's more like 20.

-When did any of us ever catch a fish? Never.

Yeah, but it's still early.

Give it another 20 years and we're bound to catch something.

Let's face it, being a fishing gnome, well, it's no fun, is it?

I always wanted to be one of those wheelbarrow-pushing gnomes. Now that's looks exciting.

I always wanted to be one of those gnomes on a skateboard. They look cool.

-Oh, hold on to your pointy hats, I've got a bite.

-Me too!

-Me too!

This one's great.

-Give it another 10 years?

-Yeah.

-I want to catch something.

DANCE MUSIC

Only three hits and two of those are mine. What is wrong with you people?

This is Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet.

The greatest love story ever told in Plasticine.

-I knew it was going to be bad.

-Get lost, Megaboyd.

I'm still going to beat you.

This time I am doing an animated musical. Les Miserables.

Boring! This is how you round up the eyeballs.

MUSIC PLAYS

3,226? They are just painted fingers. You are not even playing.

This has done even better.

MUSIC PLAYS

You've got over 7,000 for that.

That's nothing. This is my star performer.

KAZOO PLAYS

12,000? It's a potato!

Right, I'll have to come up with my own daredevil food.

-Is that a kangaroo DJ?

-Yes, I'm calling him Hip-Hop.

It's all very street, but couldn't you just have drawn a flower?

-Flowers are boring.

-Hey!

DING DONG

-Action stations!

-Relax.

-It's just my mobile.

-Oh!

DING DONG

-Action stations!

-Wait.

-It's just mine this time.

-I can't take this any more.

I'm going to call Zarina and convince her I'm ill

once and for all.

Zarina, hi, it's Dani. My voice is just starting to come back.

I'll try and make it in for tomorrow

because I don't want to let you down.

SHE COUGHS

'It's OK, Dani, I was too quick to judge.

'I know you're not faking it. Take as long as you need.

'Get well soon.'

She believed me. I'm off the hook. We can take it easy.

DING DONG

I'll get it.

-You're fired.

-Don't fire me. This is my life, my dream, my everything,

which seems unconvincing as I just pulled a sickie from my dream

which has just turned into a nightmare.

I only did it because I was scared of the bull

'and I know I should have been braver,

but all I kept seeing was these horns charging towards me

and me screaming, "Agh!", so please give me one more chance.

I'll do anything, face anything, marauding lions,

stampeding elephants, slaphappy sharks,

which wouldn't happen unless the hospital

got flooded, but if it did...

We couldn't do the scene with the bull. It's sick.

And no, it's not faking.

We've had to write a new bull-free scene which

we are shooting in 10 minutes. If you can get to set then

-I'll forgive you. If not I'll give the part to Nurse Thorn.

-Thank you. I promise I won't let you down.

That was impressive. The way you talked her into not firing you.

Amazing. Where were we? Who wants a rematch on the yodelling?

Hello(?) I've got to be in the studio in 10 minutes

and I don't know my lines.

-I'll help you get your things.

-Thanks.

Fine. I'll just do it on my yodel-ay-ee-own!

I win!

Stunt pineapple? I don't know. Are pineapples daredevil fruits?

They look safety conscious with a heavy-duty peel.

Is it just me or are oranges boring?

What are you laughing about? You're even worse.

Hello little furry fella.

I don't know what you are so you're no use to me at all.

Call off the search. I think we've found our daredevil.

Let's go to work.

This is the dumbest thing ever. It has got to be a hit.

The crowd is hushed

as Mr Eggtastic prepares to jump the Grand Kitchen Canyon.

He's in the air, but will he make it to the other side?

Argh!

What's all the shouting about? Whoa!

ALL THREE GROAN

-Ow!

-Ow!

-Ow!

MOBILE RINGS

-Maisie is calling.

-'Ow.'

I've got pains in parts of my body I never even knew existed.

This was not part of the fun day activities.

I've got to get to the studio or I'm out of a job.

I've got to get to my gig or I'm out of a job.

I've got to get to the gym to train a client or I'm out of a job.

THEY ALL GROAN

-We're never going to make it.

-Yes...

-We...

-Can!

THEY ALL GROAN

-Well, the good news is we're off the sofa.

-Follow my foot.

It's going to take a month to get to the front door!

If we work together we could probably speed things up.

Right, ready! Left, right, left, right, left, right.

We have lift off!

left, right, left, right, left, right...

CRASH

I'm sorry I'm late. We had a bit of an accident.

More excuses, more fake illnesses? Really, is that the best you can do?

-No. This is real.

-We had a real accident.

-Yes, we went to a real hospital.

-We're in real plaster.

You mean you turned up late and grabbed this from the prop room?

I can't believe you brought your friends to back you up.

-We're holding her up!

-Nonsense.

-Oh yes? See what happens when we let go.

-No!

-No!

Argh!

Oh sorry! Should have thought that one through.

GROANING

-Could you give us a hand up?

-That's quite a performance.

It's a shame you weren't here earlier to do one in front of the cameras.

I'm not faking. I've learnt the lines. I can do the scene.

Those wouldn't be the lines written across your plaster(?)

No. They're goodwill messages from strangers I met

who happen to have the same names as the characters in the show.

Their messages are, by bizarre coincidence,

lines from the script.

Too late. I've already given your part to Nurse Thorn.

-Now she'll have the love scene with Alex.

-What?

-Go home, you're finished.

There is no way Nurse Thorn is kissing Alex.

I'm doing that scene whether they like it or not.

-Jack, roll over and get me that wheelchair.

-I'm on it. Hup!

Time is up!

-My stunt potato got 36,000 hits.

-Yes?

This footage, which is the dumbest thing on the internet,

got 88 million hits.

I win! Yes! Check out my victory dance!

SHE GROANS

I'll show it to you when I can move.

-ON TV:

-Every time I see you my heart beats faster

and I get butterflies in my stomach.

Sounds like gastroenteritis. You should get that looked at.

-I don't need diagnosing. I already know the cure.

-What might that be?

A kiss from you. Three times a day

Sounds like my kind of medicine.

No! Argh!

CRASH

You were supposed to push me into Nurse Thorn.

It's not my fault the chair had a wobbly wheel.

There's one thing I've learned about you through this.

You certainly know how to make an entrance.

It's your exits you need to work on.

Sorry. We didn't see you in the wings.

Let's get one thing straight. The only reason I'm giving

you your job back is because you're safer on the set than you are off it.

Here. Here's your new contract. Take it before I change my mind.

I'm trying.

GROANING

I'm really sorry, Alex.

It's OK. It's kind of romantic. I've never had anyone run me

over in a wheelchair to stop me kissing someone else before.

That's really sweet of you to be so good about it.

You're the best boyfriend ever. Come here.

You're going to get a kiss for that.

I bet you a scratch to the back of my head she won't make it.

I bet you a scratch to my nose she does. Come on, Dani!

Kiss him! You know you want to. Try harder than that.

I can't reach. Air kiss?

SMACK

-Air kiss? Who wins that?

-Let's call it a draw.

Lean forward so I can reach your nose.

BOTH: Ah, bliss!

That was fun. Now I'll go back to work.

Right, better de-squonk the flasma-plasma rockets.

I'm going to get you!

Wait! Come back here.

Agh!

Come on. Stop faking.

Ugh!

# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

# Let's leave these chains

# Let's drop this weight right out to sea. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd