Doggy Day Afternoon Dani's House

Oh, I can't wait to meet our new pet.

What is it? A dog, a cat? A slipper?

Oh, I knew I should've never let you choose.

Now listen, before you start throwing things at me,

let me tell you what I learned at the pet shop.

-Did you know that pets actually need to be fed?

-What?

-They don't prepare their own meals?

-Not even cereal.

And they have to be cared for, their cages cleaned

and in some cases, taken for a walk.

That's when the pet shop owner showed me this slipper.

-It doesn't need any of those things.

-It is kind of cute.

The cutest one in the shop.

Oh, his fur is very soft.

OK, we can keep him. Has he got a name?

I was thinking about Deraxy Leroid.

Everyone calls their pet that. How about Spot?

Spot it is!

Let's just hope Spot isn't scared of humans,

-because it's time for Dani's House.

-Oh!

-Hey, guys, my name is Dani and this is...

-Her best friend, Jack.

-Thanks.

-My name is Dai and this...

-Is her brother, Max.

And his best friend, Ben.

-As I was saying, my name is Dani and this...

-Is her friend Ruby.

-And I'm her sister, Maisy.

-And I'm Danny and this is the brilliant...

THEY ARGUE

WHISTLE BLOWS

'Stat!' Here comes the good bit. Watch out, it gets pretty hairy.

'We can't do anymore, the rest is up to nature.

'I just hope we've done enough to save his toenail.'

It was awful, wasn't it?

Not awful, it's hard to get worked up about a toenail.

Tell me about it!

Last week I was battling a wart

and the week before I had to get emotional over a foot pustule.

-My storylines suck.

-Can't you just talk to the writers?

I've tried, but it hasn't worked.

They said if I have anything better, they'll use it.

-Well, then that's what we'll do.

-What, like a brainstorm?

Exactly like a brainstorm, and I have just the thing to help.

-Thinking cap.

-I bought them off a guy on the street.

He said they give you special powers. I'm thinking of selling them.

Yeah, I definitely feel smarter.

'Britain's got weird talent is next.'

HE BURPS A TUNE

What do you think? Do I have a shot at Britain's Got Weird Talent?

I don't know, burping is easy. My baby cousin does it all the time.

-Like you got a better weird talent.

-As a matter of fact, I do.

I am the school champion of armpit farting.

I can't believe we can't come up with one decent idea.

And these clearly don't work. Must be a faulty batch.

DOORBELL

-Saved by the bell.

-Whoever it is, I hope they bring us a change of luck.

SHE SCREAMS

Help! I'm being attacked by a wild animal!

Oh, for goodness sake, Dani, pull yourself together.

Truffle, what has mummy said about licking strange objects?

What a nice surprise. I was just working on some storylines.

I'm glad you're in. My dog sitter has developed an allergy to dogs,

so I need you to look after Truffle.

I don't know anything about dogs.

Which is why brought the instruction manual, bath time manual

and feeding manual. And storybook.

Everything you need is in these.

Shan't be long, couple of hours, probably more. Bye.

I thought some tunes might help our brainstorming.

I think it'll take a bit more than Justin Bieber to help us now.

That was Zarina.

Apparently, her dog sitter has developed an allergy to dogs.

-So I've got to look after Truffle here.

-Oh, he's so sweet!

I'm sure he'll be no trouble at all.

After this, Zarina is going to owe me big time.

If we come up with a cracking storyline,

she'll have no choice but to let me do it.

DOG BARKS A TUNE

The dog has got taste.

SHE BARKS

That's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

DOG BARKS A TUNE

Megaboyd has to admit, that was epic.

Told you, I'm a shoo-in for Britain's Got Weird Talent.

I don't know, the dudes who really stand out in the show can do

loads of weird things. They are like multi-weird talented.

Then we'll have to find ourselves some more weird talents.

We'll start with these.

Let's see how many we can eat in one minute.

If it's more than ten, then that's a talent.

That was brilliant!

You two were so in sync, like Jedward,

if they had fur and weren't related.

These two are way better than Jedward,

and I'm pretty sure everyone else will agree.

I uploaded their performance to my blog.

Are you sure that's a good idea?

Truffle is a dog, not a performing monkey.

Don't worry about it, Rubes,

the only people that read Jack's blog are Jack and his nan.

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh, that's probably her now.

Actually it's not my nan, it's my mum.

And my old French teacher. What's going on?

That clip you uploaded, I'm getting texts about it.

I don't believe it, my blog has had more than 1,000 hits already.

-1,000 people have seen me singing?

-You and Truffle singing.

If I had known having a pooch as a partner would have got me

this much attention, I would have gone down to the pet shop ages ago.

Welcome back to the Dani And Her Dog show.

On the sofa later, we've got Ron, who swallowed his own foot,

and a lady who married a llama.

Looks like were in for an exciting show, isn't that right, Dog?

Woof, woof!

Well, that's a big paws up from the dog,

but now the weather from yesterday.

And...we're clear.

You totally just stole my line.

You're a dog, you don't have lines.

That's not what it says in my contract.

I am so going to call my agent.

And we're back in five...

Steal my line again and you're dog meat.

We are up to 5,000 hits

and you and Truffle are trending on the blogosphere.

I think it's safe to say,

you two have become officially the internet's latest sensation.

-I take it that's a good thing.

-Of course it is.

We don't need to brainstorm now,

cos you two are properly super-duper, get free clothes famous.

What about Truffle?

You know, my uncle had a dog that got famous in a toilet roll ad.

Not the one where the dog gets all tied up and falls in to the loo?

-Uh-huh.

-I love that ad.

-Yeah, you and everyone else,

but my uncle's dog got replaced and his fame ended.

That poor little pooch growled whenever he saw a toilet roll.

That won't happen to Truffle. Believe me, he'll be thanking us

when all the doggie biscuits

and diamante dog collars come flooding in.

What do you think, Dani?

I'm pleased I'm properly famous,

but being one half of a doggy duo wasn't exactly the master plan.

But it might mean my storyline has improved when Zarina...

-Oh, yeah, Zarina.

-It's fine.

Maybe she hasn't even seen the video.

-KNOCKING

-Dani!

-I've seen the video! Let me in now!

-Maybe she has.

She is going to kill me.

KNOCKING

You clever, clever little person, you!

Oh, my little Truffle Wuffle!

I missed you, but I see you've been a busy boy whilst mummy has been

having her moustache waxed.

Does this mean you are not mad about the video?

-Mad about video? This is the best thing that could've happened!

-Is it?

All this hoo-ha on the Internet about you and Truffle

has put McHurties in the spotlight.

Everybody wants to see more of Nurse Woodmagnet

-and that cute little doggie singing.

-They do?

-Absolument.

I've had journalists and agents calling me nonstop. Anyway,

I've organised a schedule.

Interviews in the day, photo shoots in the evening.

Truffle looks best by moonlight.

Zarina, wait, this is all a lot for me to take in.

-I mean, can't I think about it first?

-All right, what do you want?

Money, clothes, a lifetime supply of fake tan?

No, it's just, well, recently my storylines on McHurties

have been a little...weak.

You want better storylines. OK.

Cooperate with me on this and I'll make sure Nurse Woodmagnet's

-role in the show is beefed up.

-Really?

In the meantime, chop-chop, we have lots to prepare for.

-Thanks, Zarina. I won't let you down.

-You better not.

I have big plans for you and Truffle.

By the time I finish, you'll be more famous than fish and chips.

I didn't realise they sang, too.

Of course they don't sing, they're food.

I can see I'm going to have to let Truffle do the talking.

Well, at least we don't do anymore brainstorming.

I hope you know what you're doing,

cos you're dragging Truffle along, whether he likes it or not.

HE WHIMPERS

You do know that only one of us can make the cut

and, let's face it, Megaboyd has got this weird talent sewn up.

Oh, really?

I guess that's one weird time you haven't got sewn up then.

Oh, it's like that, is it? Well, Megaboyd says bring it on.

Let the battle of weird talents commence.

Blink!

Ah!

SHE LAUGHS

HORN BLOWS

Tell the Prime Minister,

if he wants Dani and Truffle to perform at Downing Street,

then the cat has to go.

The hamsters are fine.

Can you make sure you do the hair? It has a tendency to clump.

Not Truffle's, Dani's.

Computer boy, what are our numbers at now?

Oh, just past one mil. And I prefer virtual organiser.

Zarina has agreed to let me process their online traffic.

I came up with the title myself. It's pretty catchy, right?

-I just can't believe how far this has all gone.

-Yeah, I know, right?

Dani and Truffle are the hottest things out there.

Their clothing line sold out.

-They have a clothing line?

-It's cute, eh?

I can't wait for their homeware range.

They're bringing out Dani and Truffle shaped coffee mugs.

A big, brown, fluffy one will be fine. Thank you. Ciao.

Hi. You're really OK about Truffle being a part of all this?

Aren't you worried he might get scared?

You know, fans can get pretty out-of-control.

I heard that R-Patz almost lost an eye once

because someone threw a tooth at him.

Who are you anyway and why are you asking me so many questions?

-I'm Ruby, Dani's personal trainer.

-Oh, personal trainer, eh?

I suppose Truffle could use one.

-They say the camera puts ten pounds on.

-But...

Why don't you design an exercise plan for him,

and get me a latte while you're at it.

Hello?

-Try something else.

-Fetch, Spot.

Nothing. I think we should get a different pet,

one that actually does something!

-Shh, he'll hear you!

-It's not like he's going to bite me.

-Face it, Spot is boring.

-Just give him one more chance.

Fetch obviously isn't his game. Maybe we could...teach him a trick.

Ready, Spot? Rollover.

Jump up and down.

Give me a paw.

Wiggle something. Anything!

As the latest overnight sensation,

has becoming uber-famous changed you?

Not at all, I'm still the same down-to-earth,

talented yet modest, singer-actress I've always been.

And what about Truffle? Has fame changed you?

-HE WHIMPERS

-Set Truffle free!

-Set Truffle free!

-Oh.

-Sorry.

Excuse me just one moment, our fans can get a bit over excited.

-One minute.

-Set Truffle free.

-What are you doing?

-Saving Truffle.

Remember my uncle's dog, the one from the add? This is him now.

-What happened?

-He got depressed and turned to food.

He ate so much his stomach outgrew his legs.

In the end, we had to strap him to a skateboard to move him.

He's not the only one.

Bernie Brush, Basil's uncle, was doing really well

until his perky little nephew came along.

Now he spends his days busking just to make ends meat.

-Oh, that's terrible.

-And Jimmy! The 102nd domination.

Hundreds of them - once famous, now just old and forgotten.

-Do you want that to happen to Truffle?

-Of course not.

-Then you need to put a stop to this.

-It's not that simple.

Zarina can be really stubborn.

She once fired an assistance for suggesting that she switch

to decaf coffee.

Dani, I know you and I know you'll do the right thing.

Latest goss.

Orders for the McHurties DVD

-have gone through the roof. Fabulous much?

-Much fabulous.

I had no idea that my dog sitter contracting a rare allergy to dogs

could be this marvellous.

Dani, I now see that asking you, my very last choice,

to look after Truffle was the best idea I've ever had.

-That's really nice, Zarina.

-It's my boss.

They're thinking of a spin-off for you and Truffle. Doggy Doctors!

Forget better storylines, Dani, you've got your own show!

Computer boy, any experience in showbiz?

Me? Experience in showbiz?

They don't call me... Hollywood Jack for nothing.

Good, because Truffle needs an agent and I want you to do it.

Let's say, five percent cut and one week's holiday?

Make that three percent, a weekend away break

-and you've got yourself a deal.

-Deal.

You fancy taking a timeout from the weird stuff to do

something just plain funny?

I could use a break. Totally weirded out.

Do you see that picture of Dani on the wall?

You know what would be really funny?

You going in there and hanging the banner back up.

So, doggie water, doggie drops...

Oh, and a nice big bone.

Fabulous.

-I guess exploiting innocent animals is hungry work, eh?

-No, not really.

I'm just so busy I figured I'd eat all three meals now,

get them over with.

So, you're really OK about all the celebrity Truffle stuff?

OK with it? I'm surfing this fame wave all the way, baby.

I just signed up Truffle as a werewolf in the new Twilight film.

My cut is going to keep me in doughnuts for years.

Animal celebs, that's the way to get rich.

BARKING

Thank you, Marjorie, send him in.

Hey, I know you!

-Yeah, you're the dog from the chat show, right?

-I am, indeed.

And I am in need of representation.

Well, I am looking to take on new clients. The only problem is

I have enough dogs in my books.

No problem, I'm very versatile.

All right, I've got a job. But it's for an elephant.

I can do an elephant. Watch this!

SHE TRUMPETS

Uh-Uh, sorry, I'm not really getting that elephant vibe.

-BARKING

-Your two o'clock is here.

-Thank you, Susie.

-Let me try again. I can do an elephant.

I was Dumbo and Panto twice!

Sorry, buddy, I've got to see an ant about a doodle ad.

SQUASH

Oh! Please don't say that was my two o'clock.

-Does that mean I get more time?

-Get out!

Antie?

Out!

-If you could see how lonely they become.

-Oh!

-Jack, I need your help,

Truffle's treadmill is broken.

-Truffle has a treadmill? What next, a private jet?

-Not likely.

Have you seen the waitlist for those things? It's ginormous.

Look, Ruby, I know you mean well and I'm sorry I can't help you out,

but this has got to stop.

Dani's right. All this chat about sad, loony animals

is putting my client on a downer.

He's barely touched the caviar chews.

-I just can't believe how little you two care.

-We care.

It's just, I'm getting my own show. It's what I've always wanted.

He'll be well looked after.

He won't end up like your uncle's dog, I promise.

For starters, I'm not letting him retire

-until I can afford my own doughnut factory.

-Doughnut factory?

Megaboyd thought he was never going to escape. That was epic!

THEY ARGUE

-Maisy, how many times do I have to tell you?

-I'm only stroking him.

You and pets shouldn't mix. Remember what happened

to the last thing you stroked? It's buried in the garden.

-I was young and no one told me a goldfish shouldn't be handled.

-Shoo.

-Go.

-What's so funny?

Dude, you just got so Darth Vadered by your sister.

"Get away from the dog, leave living things alone. Stop killing pets."

She's not the boss of me.

-If I wanted that dog, then I'd have him.

-Prove it.

That's Truffle, the singing dog. We get him in our act,

we're dead sure for Britain's Got Weird Talent.

Then consider that dog ours.

Pets belong in a cage, not on stage! Set Truffle free!

-Dani, why is your personal trainer shouting at me?

-We'll sort it.

-Pets belong...

-Just can't get good staff these days.

Yeah, sorry, she can get a bit passionate.

-But don't you think she might have a point?

-Whatever do you mean?

Well, what happens when all the fame's gone?

And all the fans have moved on and Truffle is just left

with memories and stale caviar chews.

That will never happen.

-Caviar chews don't go stale.

-No, you're missing my point.

-I'm worried about Truffle.

-And you don't think I am?

I'd never let anything bad happen to my Truffle Wuffle.

I am so outraged I am beginning to rethink the spinoff show.

No, no, don't do that! It's the hairspray,

it's making me say crazy things. Just ignore me.

-That I can do.

-Dani.

-Have you seen Truffle?

-No, why?

It seems he may have...disappeared.

-Truffle disappeared?

-Of course he hasn't.

It's just Ruby trying to make a point.

No, she was with me. She's out looking for him now.

-Oh, then it seems Truffle may have disappeared.

-Great!

My only client has disappeared. I'm finished!

ALL: Truffle!

THEY SHOUT

-One dog successfully kidnapped.

-Many congrats. One problem, though.

No animals? Guess we better return him then.

Whoa, hold on there. Let's think about this.

In our possession, a very talented, very famous dog.

People are going to want him back.

People who can afford to pay to get him back.

You want to get a ransom for him?

It doesn't seem fair to let your bravery go unrewarded.

You make a good point. Right, so, what do we want?

Mmm... A lifetime supply of chocolate.

What about a pony? I've always wanted one of those.

News time.

Shockwaves around the showbiz world as news hits us that Truffle,

the singing dog, has been kidnapped.

Dani, his singing partner, has made an emotional statement.

Please let Truffle go, he is just your average pet,

apart from being super famous and rich.

And if you do return him,

we promise a signed photo and a CD of our greatest hit.

Thank you.

Police are on the case

and have warned the kidnappers the punishment will be severe.

Criminal courts in a kidnap attempt on the Queen's corgis

was sentenced to one year clearing up zoo poo.

Dude, we cannot get caught. Megaboyd doesn't do poo.

And you think I do? Great, so what we do now?

Stick with the plan. And add more stuff.

Our situation just got way worse, so let's make it worth it.

ALL: Truffle!

Guys, I found one that looks suspicious.

They even cut out letters from a newspaper to remain anonymous.

Maybe it's the kidnapper, what does it say?

Set Truffle free, pets belong in a cage not on sta...

Oh, sorry, that one is from me.

Oh, Truffle, mummy is so sorry!

This is all your fault, Dani! If you hadn't sung that duo

with him, Truffle wouldn't be famous.

You said it was the best thing ever!

If anyone is to blame, it's...Jack! For putting it on the Internet.

Ruby is to blame. She kept going on about freeing Truffle, didn't she?

THEY ARGUE

DOORBELL

ALL: Truffle!

If you want Truffle back, leave a bag filled

with the following items back here in one hour.

The kidnappers. Kiss kiss.

Right, chop-chop, people, you heard the kidnappers. One hour!

-They've taken the bait.

-It's out of our hands now.

Megaboyd just hopes they find an eye of newt in the next hour.

Sorry, it sounded good at the time. So what do we do now?

We do what any decent dognappers do, we power nap.

We're going to need the energy to go through all that chocolate.

Good thinking.

All right, that's it,

we bought out every chocolate stand in a mile radius.

I almost had fisticuffs with a granny over a Daily Moo bar.

Luckily, I outran her mobile buggy.

It's not a lifetime supply, but it'll keep them for a while.

Five minutes, people. What is left from the list?

-Right. Chocolate, check. Pony?

-Oh!

-This is all I could find.

-OK. Eye of newt?

That's going to be a toughie.

Works wonders on my eye bags. Next.

There's only one left - MP3 player.

I haven't got one, have any of you?

-Um...

-Um...

-Rock paper scissors?

-Come on.

Come on!

Give it up!

Really?

Hold on, what about the MP3 player?

THEY ARGUE

DOORBELL

ALL: Truffle!

-ALL: Truffle!

-Truffle, I love you!

That's it, everything is cancelled.

Truffle has officially retired from show business.

-What about the spinoff show?

-Not going to happen.

Don't worry, Dani, thanks to you and Truffle,

McHurties is more popular than ever.

-And your role is about to get a lot busier.

-Yes!

Well, I can't say I'm not pleased, but sorry how things turned out.

No, I'm sorry.

You were the only person looking after Truffle's interests

and I didn't listen and Truffle suffered.

Never again.

From now on, the only screen you're going to be working in sun screen,

because were off on our hol's.

I'd say it has been a pleasure, but I'd be lying.

-Ciao.

-Bye.

-Come on, Truffle.

Well, looks like everything worked out for the best.

I wouldn't say that. I lost my only client.

Who wants an agent with no clients?

Look on the bright side, you still have us.

-Ah, it looks like Truffle left us a little present.

-Oh.

BOTH: Oh!

-It's OK, it's only chocolate.

-Chocolate? But...?

Oh!

-Caught red-handed!

-More like chocolate handed!

I can't believe you two are the kidnappers!

Well, yes, actually I can.

-He put me up to it.

-Dude, uncool!

I don't care who put you up to it, the fact is you been caught.

And you two are going to have to pay.

Oh, and I think I know how.

Can we swap now?

You guys want to develop a weird talent,

we're just helping you fulfil your dream.

It's good Truffle's gym equipment isn't going to waste.

More bandages! Gauze! Stat!

It's cool they've made Nurse Woodmagnet head of the department.

The doctors can take it from here.

Good work, everyone,

the Dandruff Department is once again under control.

They said Nurse Woodmagnet would get busier

and head of the department is more work.

I can see how picking dandruff off a patient could be taxing.

SHE SNEEZES

THEY LAUGH

-So? Did you get a new pet?

-I did and you won't be disappointed.

I got us a Zooba fish!

A fish! That's as lame as a slipper.

Not this one. Take a look.

Oh, but first you're going to need these.

Don't be ridiculous, it's a fish.

GROANS AND CRASHES

He's a feisty one all right!

-I think I might use that actually.

-Yeah?

-Yes. Oh, no! No!

Ah, they're bonding. I'll leave them to it.

HE YELLS

# Sometimes I feel Like breaking free

# Let's lift these chains

# Let's rock this wave Right out to sea

# I will be

# Breaking free. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd