Dying to Belong Dead Gorgeous

# Some things have changed Some things have stayed the same

# Life and death are not so far apart

# Oh, I'm knocking through the walls

# And I wouldn't have it any other way

# Life and death are not so far apart

# From where we are

# Some things have changed Some things have stayed the same

# Life and death are not so far apart. #

-What exactly is this box called?

-Television!

Ahh!

-Come to Carpet Planet, all your carpet dreams will be fulfilled...

-He is so small.

-Hello.

I never knew I possessed carpet-related dreams.

Indeed, never mind the fact that they need to be fulfilled.

-I know, is it not simply amazing?

-Carpet, carpets...

Sophie, Rebecca, out of the way please...

Carpets, carpets, carpets...

I've learnt so very much.

I have learnt that if we're having trouble

with unsightly moustache hair, electrolysis is the answer.

I am beginning to think perhaps you should not

believe everything you hear tell of on television.

And I, for one, do not intend to spend

my time mesmerised by its charms.

I wish to truly begin my new life, I have waited long enough.

Actually, Rebecca, you are right.

Don't waste time waiting for your true love to come to you.

Find him on Soulmate-Central.com.

Hazel, I do not know what this Soulmate Central is.

Yet I do know that, whilst some things have changed, others are still very much the same.

Such as? Everything seems shockingly different to me.

Such as social standing.

Clearly life is still a kinder experience if one associates with the correct sort of person.

Then who is the correct sort in the modern day?

Christine, Piper and Danni.

Surely you want nothing to do with them?

They were awful to us when we first arrived.

If I am to find true happiness, I must attempt to befriend them.

And hope they find me acceptable.

It's not good enough.

I want your essay on Neoclassicism in my inbox first thing Monday morning.

But Miss Sinclair, I'm going to a gig this weekend

and I'm getting my nails done.

-Can't I just hand in the essay on Tuesday morning instead?

-No.

Ghosts are everywhere?

Interesting book, Miss Sinclair. And I thought your only passion was art.

Yes, well, anyway. Monday morning.

-Hey, David. Come with us to class?

-Sure.

Christine, Piper, Danni, David.

May I enquire as to whether you would like to take afternoon tea with me today?

After classes perhaps, if that would suit?

THEY LAUGH

BELL RINGS

You were a bit harsh, you know, with Rebecca.

I know she's a bit weird, but still...

I didn't get to be the most popular girl in school

by being nice to people.

She's right David, we can't just let anyone join our group.

Agreed, but we could have so much fun making her try.

BELL RINGS

Girls, I commend you on your penmanship. It is beautiful.

The flourishes are elegant.

The style is almost Regency in appearance!

Although, obviously not quite that good.

But, much as I admire it,

all work at this school has to be delivered online.

I'm sorry, Miss Sinclair,

did you say work must be given to you on a line?

If so, please tell me where this line is and

I will be happy to attach my work to it.

Online, via e-mail.

You two are computer literate, aren't you?

Our father made absolutely sure that we were very well educated.

He was very modern that way.

And what exactly is this... computer?

OK, you've at least used the internet a bit, right?

I mean, you didn't just climb out of a cave?

Er, well, I'm not sure.

Is this internet rather like a fishing net?

You're not actually joking, are you?

OK, to start with, it's not an actual net.

That's just the term used to describe it.

-Basically it's an online library.

-Oh, I love libraries!

Oh, well that's a start,

I mean you can find out pretty much anything you want to know

and...a lot of stuff you really don't.

So, this net...

Oh!

...which is not an actual net, but rather a metaphor for a net...

I may use it to discover anything?

Just ask the question, avoid the pop ups

and don't get distracted by meaningless bloggers.

Please may I go first?

"Dear Internet,

"how do I make Christine and her associates like me?"

Er, no, you have to type it in.

And, it doesn't answer stuff like that and... Hang on,

why do you care so much if they like you?

Seriously, they're pretty vapid.

Do I use this to ask my question?

-Yeah, just use the keys and the mouse.

-Mouse! Where?!

So Rebecca, you really want to be one of us?

-Why yes, please.

-Then you're going to have to pass our initiation test.

We'll be in touch with the details.

The test is bound to be on matters relating to modern etiquette.

It is how one usually decides if one belongs.

For the first time in your life, you will have to study for a test!

I know, will you help me?

I can help. I have learnt much of the modern world from television.

It has taught me many expressions which I'm sure will be of use.

Now repeat after me.

Ya get me.

You get me.

Now try this one... You da bomb, innit, bro.

You are a bomb in it, bro.

Well, I am sure that, with a lot of practice, you will be fine.

Tonight I shall be chilling with my homies.

-You get me.

-Hey, Rebecca!

So...we've figured out what you've got to do.

How exciting! I mean, yo, wicked.

We want you to freak out Miss Sinclair.

And we mean really freak her out.

Like, practically give her a breakdown.

-But why?

-Cos I have better things to do this weekend than write

some stupid essay.

Yeah, but also, it'll be funny.

How exactly do you want me to...

freak her out?

We want you to haunt her.

You see, she is so tragic she believes in ghosts.

So we want you to move her stuff around.

Make her books on the occult float.

And write something on her wall in scary ghost writing

with tomato sauce, so it looks like blood!

Like, 'Leave the school or die!!'

Basically, it has to be convincing enough to scare Haiwyn.

Or you fail the initiation.

Meet us tonight, 10pm outside your dorm.

Rebecca, it is too risky.

But it is perfect.

They wish me to haunt Miss Sinclair,

a mission I could not be more suited for.

Except that you have to successfully haunt her

whilst simultaneously not be discovered as an actual ghost.

I see the contradiction, but I am convinced I can succeed.

Rebecca please reconsider, I am beginning to adapt to this world.

I even know how to use a search goggle.

And I will not give up television simply because you wish to befriend these foolish people.

I have always been held in high regard.

The Nixons were always telling father I was an elegant young lady.

I simply...

I simply have to do this, with or without your help.

SPORTS COMMENTARY ON TV Go on... Come on, get in there!

I am terribly sorry to disturb you all.

-No sweat. So what's going down?

-I was hoping to speak with Agatha.

Ah, but she exists in the ether at present.

-She's busy with some Ghost Council business.

-Can I help?

Has someone offended your honour?

I can take care of them for you!

It is Rebecca, she wishes to befriend some people

and she is willing to go to great lengths to achieve her goal.

Befriend people?

Man, the girl has no idea.

To be a real teenager, she should be lonely and angst-ridden.

That is not Rebecca. Before, she was the one who excelled socially.

It is all she knows.

And I truly do not know whether to help her or prevent her.

You must help her, for the boxes we create to define ourselves

are nevertheless our boxes and, without them, we drift aimlessly,

forever questioning the meaning of our existence.

Yes, you should help your sister.

And if anyone gets in your way, you let me know.

I have a two-handed axe that can split heads with ease!

OK, lassie?

-Rebecca!

-Jonathan, what is wrong?

Nothing. I thought I saw something which, in fact,

I couldn't have seen, as it would have been a physical impossibility.

I am beginning to realise you are a deeply odd young man.

Whereas you're completely normal.

Indeed!

Come on...I'll show you a few places in this school I actually like.

My pianoforte!

Has anyone explained the concept of ownership to you?

Just because something's pretty, it doesn't make it yours.

-Would you like to hear me play?

-Yeah.

SHE PLAYS "Fur Elise"

Well, are you not going to compliment me on my talent, Jonathan?

Really you can be terribly rude.

Well, I'm officially very impressed!

-Now it is your turn.

-See this guitar pick.

My prize possession, got it at a Level Edge gig.

I know what you are trying to do.

Their lead singer throws it out to the crowd

and everyone is reaching out for it. I am getting seriously trampled on.

I reach out my hand and...

-You're trying to distract me.

-I've carried it with me ever since.

Good, now stop talking and play for me.

OK...

Well, aren't you going to compliment me on my talent?

Really, Rebecca, you can be terribly rude.

I am officially very impressed.

I looked up tomato sauce on the internet.

It is a red condiment, which I'm sure will look rather scary.

Whilst I've acquired

some Super Strong dental floss from the bathroom cabinet.

# Super Floss with Super Strong

# Your teeth will feel so clean and long. Yeah! #

Well, I understand the tomato sauce

but why do we need the dental super thing?

Well, it is our alibi.

We may need it to explain how we managed to make books float.

We shall claim we used this, attached to the ceiling.

Oh, thank you so much.

You are quite the best sisters a girl could have.

I see you've brought your baby sisters to help.

Yes, do you mind awfully?

Oh, not at all. The more the merrier.

I get the tomato sauce, but what's the dental floss for?

-To make the books float.

-Not bad.

But how do we get in?

In you go, then. And remember, it has to be convincing.

Do not worry. I will impress you, Christine.

Excuse me for being so blunt,

but should you not leave the keys with us?

Don't worry, we'll come back later tonight to let you out.

Honestly.

You use the word 'honest', yet your eyes betray you.

Look, we said we'll come back.

DOOR LOCKS

THE GIGGLE

Jonathan, you know that new girl, Rebecca, right?

She seems OK, you know, for a freak.

Shocking, isn't it?

That someone different can be an all right person.

See, I think Christine is kind of going a bit far this time.

I mean, her plan is funny but...

she might even get Rebecca chucked out of school.

What's the plan, David?

Leave the school or die.

I don't like doing this. It seems a very unkind message.

-Well, it is what Christine asked for...

-What about this?

"Leave the school or fly"?

It is the smallest of changes, after all.

Greetings and salutations. How are you making those books float?

-With dental floss!

-What are you doing here?

I'm saving you. This is completely out of my comfort zone,

but I don't want you kicked out of school.

-How did you manage to get up this high?

-Oh, well, with my trusty...

CLATTERING

-..ladder.

-Look, we do not need saving. Christine is returning later.

-Yeah, about that. She's not.

-Her plan was for us to be trapped here and discovered by Miss Sinclair?!

I will be back to check on you in five minutes.

-I should mention the rules are pretty strict when you're on a scholarship.

-How strict?

Well, for getting caught in a teacher's room? Immediate expulsion.

-Expulsion! But that would mean that we...

-We can save ourselves if we act with haste.

-Yes, we must hide in the walls.

-What was that about hiding in a wall?

Er... I shall delay her.

-I don't get it, how are you...

-I cannot hold this for long!

Jonathan, you must trust me...

-I can hear you in there!

-Now, Sophie!

Jonathan, can you please not talk or move?

This is really rather difficult and requires a lot of concentration.

Rebecca! I don't get it. We're standing on some sort of ledge, right?

Shhh...

Oh... Rebe... Rebecca, there's no... There's no ledge!

There's no ledge! We're standing on nothing?! Oh!

Sh. Sh.

But... I mean...you...and...we...

I can explain.

Right well, go on then, explain.

Er...

well, the situation is...that we...

I... I shall explain.

Jonathan, you are sleeping, this is the most unusual dream

and you will wake in the morning to find everything back to normal.

Sophie, I'm not an idiot.

You felt so cold, you were freezing.

You don't... You don't have a pulse.

Well, that is because we are technically dead.

Hazel, be quiet, please.

Jonathan, we are ghosts.

We died 150 years ago.

I... I have to go, this is just too weird.

The Ghost Council will demand your immediate return

and the paperwork alone will bore me to tears.

Oh, peach cordial, I need my peach cordial...

someone fetch me my peach cordial!

# Ha-ha-ha! #

And you, all of you, I mean, really.

I would have thought that with a collective age of 1847 years

you'd give some less idiotic advice!

Please Agatha, the circumstances were exceptional.

They always are my dear, oh, the excuses I have heard.

"I just felt more 'me' floating about in white."

"My head was hurting so I had to take it off and carry it around."

Always exceptional. Never negotiable.

It was my fault we were discovered.

So perhaps The Ghost Council would be satisfied if I alone was sent away.

No Rebecca, regardless of what happens now, we stay together.

Oh, I don't know, I just don't know.

Rules are merely arbitrary constructs after all?

To you maybe, but to the Ghost Council, rules are everything.

Hey, Rebecca, can we talk?

When I saw your name on the old piano

I thought it was just a weird coincidence.

Then there's the way you talk,

the fact you didn't even know what the internet was.

When I saw you making those twigs float.

I had a lot of theories but none of them ever touched on the idea

that the three of you were dead!

There are so many new things I shall miss.

You see, now that you have learned our secret, we may be sent away.

Right, so...

I make a new friend, find out she's a ghost.

Get my head around the fact that she's a ghost.

Only to find out she will be sent away to wherever it is ghosts go?

Maybe...

I was so excited thinking of all the wonderful things we would do.

Rebecca, do not cry,

in our short time we have already done wonderful things.

Why, I just finished writing a blog!

And I did make one friend.

Even though he is not the friend I intended.

See, if we look on the bright side, it is not too terrible.

OK girls, my office.

Bring the boy.

Come on Sophus, it's been three years! Make a move!

So how come I can see you and not see them?

Well, we are living ghosts, they are dead ghosts.

Right, great.

That really cleared the whole thing up for me, then.

-Ah! I found a loophole!

-Oh, Agatha you're simply marvellous!

She has found a loophole!

Jonathan must prove that he can be trusted with your secret.

He must give me his most precious possession as a sign of his loyalty.

If he does this, the three of you can stay.

Oh, I cannot ask that of Jonathan.

Yes, you can, you can just ask me.

Well, in order for us to be allowed to stay,

you must part with your most prized possession, as a sign of loyalty.

But what do I have that's worth... Oh, my guitar pick!

So if I give it up, you can stay?

It is too precious to you. I cannot ask you to part with it.

Well, it's just a guitar pick.

I mean, compared to the whole life and death thing going on here...

-But you will look after it, won't you?

-Absolutely!

I will promise to look after it if you promise to keep our secret?

So are you going to apologise?

You failed your initiation and got Christine in trouble.

How did I get you into trouble?

You left tomato sauce on her whiteboard because you're an idiot.

So Miss Sinclair spoke to the caretaker

and found out Christine was the one who got the keys.

Now I have a Saturday detention and I have to deliver my essay on Monday.

Thanks to you, I have no weekend.

Yet you were never going to accept me even if I had succeeded.

No, we weren't, but now you're a tragic freak and a failure.

I shall never be so gullible again.

If being well-liked means being friends with those girls

then I am not interested.

I'm glad, Rebecca. Instead you could always watch television with me.

Or come to the library with me.

I've tired a little of the internet,

but we can read peacefully together.

Yes. Thank you.

Or I could befriend those girls.

They certainly look as though they, too, are part of the upper social echelon.

Perhaps they will accept me and my life will truly begin.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]

# Some things have changed Some things have stayed the same

# Life and death are not so far apart. #