Rubberbands and Paperclips Dennis & Gnasher


Rubberbands and Paperclips

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-Ready, Gnasher?

-Yes, yes!

-Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah

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# After all is said and done

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# Shout one for all and all for one

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# Nothing's gonna bring us down today, yeah

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# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

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Presenting the Menace Mark One Meteor,

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which will take me, Commander Den Dare,

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on the first pedal powered mission to Mars.

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Jump in, Gnasher.

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Initiating leg power!

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SCREECH!

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We have lift-off!

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-Ooh!

-Wow!

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Switching to glide control.

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WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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Red alert! Prepare to eject!

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Whoa!

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Aaargh!

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CRASH!

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Oh...

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Dad, you don't understand!

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It's not just a bike, it's a pedal powered interplanetary cruiser!

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But now it's useless.

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Dad, I need a new bike.

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No!

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HE HUMS HAPPILY

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-Dad!

-Aargh!

-I need a new bike!

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I said NO!

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'And in other news, Dennis has got a new bike!'

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Dennis, a bike costs money. It doesn't grow on trees, you know.

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Haven't you got any money?

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Not enough for a new bike.

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But you work your fingers to the bone in that office.

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That's because I love my job.

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And I do practically run the rubber band and paperclip division.

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That's what I mean - they can't do without you.

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Well, that's true. If it wasn't for me it'd grind to a halt.

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Exactly. So, ask your boss for a rise.

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What?! You're joking. Ask Mr Scrimp for more cash?

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He's the meanest man in Beanotown.

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Dad, are you a man or a mouse?

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Stand up to the old skinflint!

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You know, you're right! He should be paying me more.

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I'll march up to the old miser's office and demand a raise!

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WHAT?!

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Have you taken leave of your senses?

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I didn't get where I am today by giving handouts

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to every Tom, Dick and what's-his-name

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who walks through that door!

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£1,101...

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GET OUT!!!

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You know what, Gnash?

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When Dad gets back, he's gonna buy me the best bike in the...

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Dad? What happened?!

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I'll tell you what happened, Dennis, I talked to Mr Scrimp,

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and he agreed he wasn't paying me the right amount.

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See! I told you it would work.

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He's not giving me more money,

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he's cutting my wages for wasting his time!

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Oh, why did I listen to you?!

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Remind me again, Dennis, why are we trashing your house?

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Cos I'm trying to make it look like we're dead poor.

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How's that going to get you a new bike?

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If Dad had more money, he could buy me one, right?

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And if Dad's boss sees how poor we are,

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he'll feel bad and give Dad a rise.

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Listen and learn, boys.

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Ahem. Is that you, Scrimp? This is Hiram Bigbucks of US HQ.

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Yeah, your boss.

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Drop what you're doing and go see what's-his-name,

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works in rubber bands and paperclips.

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I can't think why Mr Bigbucks wants me to go round

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to wretched what's-his-name's wretched house.

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Still, he's the boss. Whatever he says, goes.

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Oh!

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Is this that wretched what's-his-name's house?

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COCKNEY ACCENT: Yeah, I'm that wretched what's-his-name's son.

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-Come in, guv'nor, come in.

-COUGHS FEEBLY

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Goodness, this is...incredible.

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Oh, don't you worry about us, your wealthiness.

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We're poor, but we're happy.

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Oh, where's me manners? How about a lovely cup of char?

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'Ere, take a seat, sir.

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Urgh...

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Family heirloom. Been used 23 times.

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But it still makes a lovely brew.

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That's awful.

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But it's the only one we've got.

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Not that, everything.

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When what's-his-name asked me for a raise, I had no idea.

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Look, when your father gets back, tell him I'm doubling his salary.

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Nobody should have to live like this.

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Yes! Result!

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-Mr Scrimp!

-What's-his-name?

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I'm sorry I didn't know you were coming. We were shopping.

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Shopping? On your income?

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-Just a few groceries, you know.

-Really?

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-So what's this, then?

-BUZZES

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Oh, it's, uh...it's the latest thing.

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A Swiss Army moustache trimmer.

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What?! How can you afford some fancy new gizmo

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when your family are starving?

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Must've been a free give-away.

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We're not starving! I'm going to cook spaghetti for supper.

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It's only tinned spaghetti...

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I'm starting to smell a rat.

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You're not really poor!

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This play-acting was just a sham to get me to give you more money!

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Play-acting?! I don't understand.

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Nice try, what's-his-name, but your devious little ploy has failed!

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Ooh, one more thing...

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-you're FIRED!

-But... Oh!

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All right, Dennis, what's going on?

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SCREAMS

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Oh, my house! My beautiful house!

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DENNIS!

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Eh...don't worry, Mum, we can fix the house

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and I'm sure Dad'll be able to get a new job...

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easy-peasy.

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Ooh, ooh...

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WHISTLE BLOWS Oh!

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Someone's dropped that, never know when you might need it.

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It's hopeless! I'm hopeless! Nobody wants to employ me.

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Fired from 13 jobs in one day.

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That's got to be a record!

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Paper clips and rubber bands are all I know.

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I was happy working for Mr Scrimp.

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Don't worry, Dad, I'll get you your old job back. Just leave it to me!

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OK, Gnasher, we'll show Mr Scrimp

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how the rubber band and paper clip division is rubbish without Dad.

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Follow me!

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SPLAT!

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-THEY GIGGLE

-Oi!

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KERPOW! MUFFLED SHOUTS

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Take cover!

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What's going on? Stop all this nonsense and get back to work!

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-SPLAT!

-Who did that?

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Whoa-oa-oa!

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Waaaah!

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SHOUTS AND BANGING

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HE PANTS AND GASPS

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OK, Gnasher, here we go. The world's biggest rubber band ball!

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Heave!

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-THUDDING

-Aaargh!

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Aaargh!

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-PING!

-Aaaargh!

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SCREAMING AND BANGING

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AAAAARGH! OOOOOH...

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CRASH! ALARMS BLARE

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SLURP!

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Oh, it's you, what's-his-name's son.

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-Thank you.

-Think nothing of it.

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Hm, I don't understand it. The paper clip division ran like clockwork

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with your father in charge.

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Yes. Pity you sacked him.

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Maybe I was a tad hasty.

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I wonder if he'd come back and work for me again?

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Only one way to find out...

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Step up now, don't be snooty.

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Come and try my Tutti Frutti.

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SCRREEECH!

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Ah, what's-his-name. How would you like your old job back?

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I'll double your salary.

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What?! Well, I don't know, I...

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Triple it then!

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I need you back, what's-his-name, the place has gone to the dogs.

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Well, in that case, I'd love to come back.

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Excellent.

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-Jump in then.

-TYRES SCREECH

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So, Dad, eh...about my new bike.

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-I was thinking 21 gears, dual suspension...

-Dennis,

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there isn't going to be a new bike.

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That's right. After paying to redecorate the house,

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I won't be able to give you more pocket money until you're 37.

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-And you can have a new bike when you're 48.

-But...

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What am I supposed to do until then?!

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You know, it's amazing what you can do with a few paper clips

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and rubber bands...

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DENNIS GROANS

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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