No Joke Dennis & Gnasher


No Joke

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-Ready, Gnasher?

-Yes, yes!

-Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah

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# After all is said and done

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# Shout one for all and all for one

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# Nothing's gonna bring us down today, yeah

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# Open up your eyes

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# The world outside is waiting. #

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BUZZING

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Aargh!

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Aargh! Oh! Oh! Ah!

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Oh! Aargh! Aargh! Giant bee!

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-Aargh!

-Ha-ha-ha!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Aargh!

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Did it sting me?! I think it stung me!

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Aargh!

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Uh-oh.

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Dennis, what do you think you're doing?

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Yes, you know I hate bees.

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Sorry, Dad, it was just a bit of fun.

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The sort of fun we can do without, Dennis.

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Oh, I blame that new joke shop.

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Yes, stay away from it.

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Do something sensible for a change.

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All right, I'll take Gnasher for a nice walk...

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..to the joke shop! Ha-ha!

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Hi, Mr Ha-Ha!

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Dennis! Good to see you again!

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You too. So, what's new?

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Ha-ah! Vampire chattery teeth...

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with a difference.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Added bad breath!

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Urgh! Cool!

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CHUCKLING RINGTONE

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Oh, hello, Mother...

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Yes, Mother. No, Mother. Of course, Mother.

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What's wrong?

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My mother. She's flying into Beanotown today,

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which means she'll find out I run a joke shop.

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So, what's the problem?

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When she gave me money to set up a business, she thought I was a...vet.

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If she finds out the truth, I'll have to close down.

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Close the shop?! NO!

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I'm afraid so.

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Unless...we turn this shop into a vet's for the day!

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You mean, play a trick on my mother?

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-Well... It... That would be...

-Fun?

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Curly, get Pie Face and get down to Mr Ha-Ha's. We've got an emergency!

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TYRES SCREECHING

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That'll be Mother. Quick, hide!

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-Mother!

-Hello, Hardy.

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Welcome to my practice.

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How was your journey?

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The flight was bumpy, the taxi was smelly.

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This is it?!

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-Yes.

-You don't seem very busy.

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I'm expecting my assistant to bring in a patient any second.

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That's us. Come on, Gnasher!

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Ah, there you are.

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And who is this little fellow?

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-Gnasher.

-And what seems to be the problem?

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Uh, uh... Pointy-arrow-itis.

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Ah, yes. Pop him on the table.

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Surely there's no hope? Shouldn't you just put him out of his misery?

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Grrr-ruff!

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Let's see. Mallet, clamp...

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HE WHINES

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Hang on, Mr Ha-Ha, I think we need an anaesthetic.

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Let us begin. Mother, you'd better sit down.

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Tweezers.

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Check.

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Lights.

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Check.

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Dramatic music.

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Check.

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Then, I'm going in.

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Ooh... Oh... Ooh...

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Last one...

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It's going to be tricky...

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SHE GASPS

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Don't lose it now, Doctor.

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Now to wrap up...

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There! Right as rain.

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Whoa...

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Hmm...

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Of course, he'll need to come back for further treatment, won't he?

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Oh! Yes, yes... Say, in a week...or two?

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Well done, Hardy, you've saved him.

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SIGHS OF RELIEF

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Psst!

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We've got a problem, Den. Look outside.

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Oops.

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Uh...we're closed!

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Closed? Do your job, Hardy! Save these poor animals now!

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Yes, Mother!

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Um...

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-Telescope.

-Telescope. Telescope?!

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Um... He's cross-eyed.

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Eh?

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He's suffering from... concentric pupils.

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We've got just the thing.

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Next!

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HE SQUAWKS FEEBLY

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Hmm...

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-Loud-hailer!

-Loud-hailer.

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SQUAWKS FEEBLY

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Oh dear. I think he might have... Um...

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-Low...

-Low...

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-volume...

-Low volume...maximosis!

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Exactly! He's lost his voice.

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Try this, Mr Ha-Ha!

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TOY BIRD: Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker?

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NEXT!

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HAMSTER SHIVERS

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Hmm...

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Thermometer!

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Oh, of course, thermometer.

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Atchoo!

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Classic case of nippy...rodent-syndrome.

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Wouldn't you say, Mr Ha-Ha?

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Oh, definitely. Yes, a very bad chill.

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No problem.

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This'll warm him up!

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Next!

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I'm very proud of you, Hardy.

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Now, give me a tour of Beanotown so I can show off my clever son.

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Oh, yes, Mother. (Dennis, help!)

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Dr Ha-Ha, what about our vet school?

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Vets in training, that's us.

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Oh...yes. Eager to learn.

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More school...?!

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Oh, Hardy! You've got little apprentices.

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You're so dedicated. Go. Teach.

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-<

-Ahem.

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-Oops.

-And who is this?

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I'm the local vet.

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And I've been getting a lot of dissatisfied customers.

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-Ah.

-May I suggest, Mr Ha-Ha, that you stick to what you know.

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Go back to running a joke shop.

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I can't believe my ears! A joke shop?!

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Can this really be true, Hardy?

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You run a joke shop?

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But it's the best shop in town, Mrs Ha-Ha - my favourite.

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Please don't be angry, fooling you was my idea.

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Angry? I'm shocked!

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Hardy Ha-Ha, you always said you wanted to be a vet.

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Mother, that was when I was five.

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But can you honestly say that you're happy larking about in a joke shop?!

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We're all happy in the shop, Mrs Ha-Ha. Aren't we?

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ALL: Oh, yes!

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I suppose, if you're happy... that's all that really matters!

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Well, don't just stand there gawping,

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show me everything! Ha-ha-ha!

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Result!

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Well, if you'd like to come this way, Mother,

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here we have a drawer of fake doggy doo-doos!

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-Ha-ha-ha!

-Ha-ha-ha! And wigs,

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itching powder, whoopee cushions...

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PRRRT!

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CHUCKLING

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..and rock in a bag. It's a winner. Ha-ha!

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Oh, Hardy, ha-ha-ha, it's hilarious!

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Dennis! I thought I told you to stay away from this joke shop?

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But, Mum...?

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Please don't be too hard on him.

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Boys will be boys, and they all like a joke.

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And some of these things are quite amusing.

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Oh! Urgh, pah, oh!

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Very amusing, in fact! Ha-ha-ha!

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EVERYONE: Ha-ha-ha!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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