Couldn't Catch a Cold Dennis the Menace and Gnasher


Couldn't Catch a Cold

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Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# After all is said and done

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# Shout, "One for all and all for fun!"

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# Nothing's going to bring us down today

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# Open up your eyes the world outside is waiting. #

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Ha-ha! Gnash, Gnash!

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Curly, Pie-Face! Another day of menacing ahead!

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Eugh!

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Gnash?

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Meant to do that.

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-You both all right?

-No, Dennis, we've both got... Atchoo!

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We've both got... Atchoo! I mean, we've both got... Atchoo!

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It's all right, Pie-Face,

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what he's trying to say is that we've both got...

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-Atchoo! We've both got... Atchoo!

-Both got what?

-Atchoo!

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Oh, Curly, Pie-Face, didn't you get the letter?

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The Beanotown cold is so contagious that you must stay home!

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And you, dog.

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Yes, you, dog, you aren't allowed here.

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Pie-Face, Curly, dog,

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you must all leave the school grounds this instant!

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-Yeah, I think I might be coming down with something.

-Inside!

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HE SIGHS

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Quiet! Quiet, class, quiet, no more chattering, everyone, quiet!

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Quiet, QUIET!

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Oh, looks like quite a few pupils have the cold.

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Not I, Mrs Creecher!

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-I'm perfectly well.

-Walter, didn't you get the letter?

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I don't have a cold, Mrs Creecher. I am 100% healthy.

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Now then, class, if James has 37 counters in his left hand

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and 92 counters in his right, how many hands does he have?

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Walter.

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-RAMBLING:

-Holding hands...hands...

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jumping shape...see a rainbow.

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A good try, Walter. Next question.

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Dennis - what is the square root of a million

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times the square root of a billion?

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Er...is it...nine?

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Uh, hopeless, Dennis, hopeless!

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Yeah, Dennis.

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HE WHIMPERS

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Walter, call me crazy, but I think you may be ill.

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I'm having your parents pick you up.

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No Walter? This could be the best school day ever!

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Just a dessert for my lunch, Bren, how much?

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-Not many children in so they're free today.

-Oh.

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Well, in that case I'll only have 50 of them.

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Oh, no, headmaster's orders, one dessert per child.

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-But I'm the only...

-Strict instructions! Want your dessert then?

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Eh...sure. Could I have a spoon?

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HE MUNCHES

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Actually, forget the spoon.

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HE BURPS

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Thank you!

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-FRENCH ACCENT:

-Oh, bonjour, I am le French exchange student

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Pierre Le...Bon Bon.

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La dessert. pleeease?

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All right, but you only get one.

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HE MUNCHES

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Merci.

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HE BURPS

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Hang on...

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-GERMAN ACCENT:

-Ya, guten-hello,

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I am German exchange student Fritz Van...Munich.

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-Dessert, please and ze thank you.

-Hmm.

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Are there many kids in that lunch line?

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Oh, ja, ja, why don't you take a look?

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HE MUNCHES

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Ah, I knew it! You're not getting one over on me.

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DEEEEEEENNIS!

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-Oh, may have overdone it on dessert.

-Come on, bowler.

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HE WHINES

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-Great.

-Batsman, hit it.

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-Ha-ha, atta boy! Fielder, catch it!

-Ohh...

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Well done for getting him out, Dennis, marvellous play!

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Dennis, how come you're out already? Awful!

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Two laps round the field for you.

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HE GROANS

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-Well, Dennis, poor Walter had to go home.

-Yes!

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-Which means for the rest of the day it's just you and me.

-No!

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-Only kidding.

-Phew.

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Since all the other children have the cold, you're going to spend

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the rest of the day being taught by all the teachers in the school -

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at once.

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What?!

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-What's nine times 99?

-What's long and sticky?

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What's the meaning of life?

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-Who invented the banana?

-Is this a square or a circle?

-Nooooo!

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Oh, the worst day ever, Gnasher.

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Teachers, teachers everywhere - it's not fair,

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why can't I catch a cold like everyone else?

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HE GASPS

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Actually, I think I can.

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HE WHINES

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The light, it grows faint. Is that you, Mother?

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This awful cold...is so horrible. So...painful.

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And so very, very real.

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Goodbye, old friend.

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GNASHER HOWLS SADLY

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Dennis?

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Dennis, could you move away from the door? I have to pick up Bea.

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Mum, I have a cold!

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No, you want out of school, like when you said you had chickenpox.

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Or when you said you were pregnant.

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Or when you said your arm fell off.

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Unless you really have a cold like your dad, don't waste my time.

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Dad has a cold?

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Yes, and apparently it's very infectious,

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so keep far, far away from him.

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Hmm.

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HE SNORES

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-Hi, Dad!

-Ugh!

-Calm down, Dad, I'm here to look after you.

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Bacon sandwich?

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Oh, lovely, Dennis, how nice of you.

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-What's in this sandwich?

-Bacon, bread...tomato sauce.

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Woahhhhhh!

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Hang on.

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-Whoa, oo-oo-ooh!

-Oops. Water?

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Woahhh!

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Hmm.

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Normal?! Right, need a plan B. What is it Gran says?

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Eh, Dennis, do you want to see me get a whole coconut into me mouth?

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No, not that.

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Keep out of the cold and wet or you will catch a cold I bet.

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Now, watch me get this coconut into me mouth.

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MUFFLED: How about that?

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Hmm.

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Gnash, Gnash, Gnash!

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MAN AND BOY SCREAM

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Gnash, Gnash, Gnash.

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Brilliant, Gnasher!

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-DISAPPOINTED:

-Gnash.

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-Hmm.

-UNBELIEVING:

-Gnash?

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-Ugh.

-FRUSTRATED:

-Gnash.

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Right, Gnasher, I must have caught a cold by now. Come on, Gnasher.

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Gnash, Gnash, Gnash.

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What?! I'm still fine? Oh, come on!

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Ow! Waaaaa!

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-So, how will he be?

-Ah, he's fine, nothing broken.

-Oh, you sure?

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I definitely felt something snap.

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Maybe I should stay at home? Rest the foot, get my strength back.

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-No, you won't need to miss a day of school!

-What?

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What kind of a doctor are you?

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-Pie-Face, Curly.

-Hi, Dennis, you OK?

-No, I'm not. Well, yes, I am.

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-Back to school.

-Great, cos we're all going to the beach.

-What?

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Yeah, as everyone has just gotten over their colds,

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the teachers thought we should have a day out.

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Brilliant! I love school! This is going to be the best day ever!

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Ah, ah...atchoo!

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Oh, dear, the Beanotown cold. Best get you home.

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No, no, that sneeze was a fluke. So was that one!

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And that one! Mum, I'm well, I feel great!

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Honestly, Mum, I'm fine, I'm completely...

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ATCHOO!

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Oh, Dennis...

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