No Match for Dennis Dennis the Menace and Gnasher


No Match for Dennis

Walter challenges Dennis to beat him in a game with proper rules - five-a-side football. But then Walter entices Gnasher to puncture all the footballs.


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Transcript


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Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# After all is said and done

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# Shout, one for all and all for fun!

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# Nothing's gonna bring us down today

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# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

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Gnash.

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Gnash.

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Yes! Another great save by the Gnash-meister.

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Gnash!

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CRASH!

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-Oops.

-Gnash-gnash.

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Oh, smashing kick, Dennis.

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I would describe that as a penalty kick,

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as the window's going to cost you...

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-a whole year's pocket money.

-What?!

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-No way.

-You know, Dennis,

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soccer takes sportsmanship, skill, control...

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-Give me back my ball, Walter.

-..all of which I have.

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-It's not about running around with a rubbish goalie like him.

-Rubbish?!

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He's the best goalie there is! You'd never get one past Gnasher.

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Oh, please. I could win against you

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and that mangy mutt any time, Dennis.

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OK then. This Friday, my team versus yours and loser pays for the window.

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You're on!

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By the way, I'm keeping hold of this

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in case you or it causes any more damage.

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PRFFFT!

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Ha-ha-ha! Couldn't have put it better myself, Bea.

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HORN BLARES

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Operation Menace Match Of The Day. Empty your pockets.

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Right, it's a three-a-side game, so I'm centre forward,

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Gnasher's in goal, Curly, you're in defence.

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-What about me?

-Right, erm, you're the...

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The manager, of course.

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Oh, all right then, lads.

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It's a game of two halves but at the end of the day we play to win

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and erm, beat Walter.

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PRFFFT!

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-Yeah, we've got to smash Walter's defences.

-Oh, don't say mash.

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Paul's lost some of his best friends to mash.

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Smash, Pie-Face, not mash.

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Gnash!

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Looks like we've lost you too, Pie-Face.

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-Bertie, my house. Bring Dudley and bring sausages.

-'Sausages?'

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Yes, sausages.

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Dennis, Dennis, show them some menace!

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Hooray, hooray, let's play some jolly good football today!

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Captains, over here, please.

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I'd just like to point out that I'm not just captain,

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I'm also club manager, coach, CEO and...

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-A turnip?

-Who has the ball?

-I do, Referee.

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-Hey, that's my ball.

-Let's get this match under way.

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Gnash, gnash!

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-Gnash-gnash-gnash!

-What's going on, Gnasher? Get back in goal.

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No!

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Foul, foul! Ref! Ref!

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Indeed, a heinous misdemeanour has been committed.

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According to the official rules

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of grudge match football in the park

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their team's disqualified.

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-Game over.

-Uh, hello? Are you the referee? Do you have a whistle?

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Are you in charge? No! I'll say when the game is over!

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I'll give you one more chance.

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New ball, please.

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Gnash!

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Oh, no. Not again. Gnasher!

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-Dennis' team disqualified.

-Yes!

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We are the champions, we are the champions,

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we are the champions, we are the champions.

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-What's got into Gnasher?

-Bangers.

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What he means is, bang goes your chance of winning.

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Gnasher, what's got into you?

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CAMERA WHIRRS

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And here is the invoice for the repair to our window.

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Do pay promptly.

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Dad gave me that ball for Christmas.

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GNASHER SNIFFS

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-Gnash-gnash!

-What is it, Gnasher?

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What? This smells like sausages. Time to call in the experts.

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I smell a foul.

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-Menace Sub-station Three, what's up, Dennis?

-I need you at Menace HQ.

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Emergency code red.

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Oh, that's sneaky. That's very sneaky.

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Take a look at this, Dennis.

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See the tiny particles of sausage meat all over the material?

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Who'd want to make a sausage-flavoured football?

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Someone who wanted Gnasher to destroy the football

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and lose the game.

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DENNIS AND CURLY: Walter!

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Walter.

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DING-DONG

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-Re-match, tomorrow.

-Why on earth would I agree to a re-match?

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Because if you don't, I'll tell everyone you cheated.

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WALTER GASPS

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-Gnash-gnash-gnash!

-Meow!

-Gnash-gnash-gnash!

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-We can't do that again.

-But how else could we beat them?

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Gnasher's way too good in goal.

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Don't you worry about that dopey dog.

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I'm going to make sure they get disqualified for good this time.

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-Are they...?

-Gnasher's gnashers?

-These?

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No, they're my granddad's false teeth.

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I'm going to fix them to look just like Gnasher's.

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They don't stand a chance.

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GRINDING

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-Now, is it clear who's in charge of this match, Walter?

-Mh-hm.

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Right, first team to score a goal wins!

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Gnash!

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CROWD CHEERS

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HISSING

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Uh-oh.

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-What's up with the ball?

-They look like bite marks.

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They look like Gnasher marks, you mean.

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-Gnasher's been nowhere near the ball.

-Gnash-gnash-gnash.

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Anyone have another ball?

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CROWD: No.

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-Then it's game over.

-Meaning my team are still the winners!

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Oh, dear, Dennis. You must feel so...

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deflated.

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Stop! Dad, bring Bea. Pie-Face, get your beaniest pies.

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Ref, just give me that.

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Dad.

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BEA: Ohhh!

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SHE SLURPS

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Ahh...

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PRFFFT!

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PRFFFT!

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That's brilliant, Bea!

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Mum, first aid kit, please.

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-Well, I'm very impressed, Dennis.

-You can't allow this, Ref.

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Well, I'm sorry, Walter, but I'll bet there's not a single word

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about farting babies inflating footballs in the rules.

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This isn't potty training, this is the beautiful game!

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Or what I call, the Bea-tiful game. He-he.

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THEY CHEER

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OK, then. Game on!

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PRFFFT!

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-Two, four, six, eight!

-Team Menace sounds just great!

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PRFFFT!

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They're coming, Dudley!

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HE CHUCKLES

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Referee!

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LAUGHTER

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PRFFFT!

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PRFFFT!

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CROWD CHEERS

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That's it. Game over! Dennis' team wins!

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THEY CHEER

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-Yes, we did it!

-Good game, boys. Nicely played.

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-Well done, son. Put it there.

-Gnasher, mate, come here!

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Gnash-gnash-gnash! Gnash!

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Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?

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ALL: Gnasher! Gnasher! Gnasher!

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And baby Bea.

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BEA GURGLES

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Looks like I won't be needing this bill for a new window after all.

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PRFFFT!

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-Gnash!

-Look out, Walter! Incoming!

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-Aghh!

-G-g-gnash!

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Aghh!

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-Ta-da.

-Gnash, gnash, gnash.

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Dennis and his faithful hound Gnasher are out to make every day as much fun as possible but their adventures often lead them into trouble. Walter challenges Dennis to beat him in a game with proper rules - five-a-side football. But Walter secretly breaks his own rules, enticing Gnasher to puncture all the footballs... a minor setback for Dennis, who quickly employs Bea to reinflate them in her own unique way, with typically hilarious - and victorious - results!


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