The Way the Cookie Crumbles Dennis the Menace and Gnasher

Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!

# Playing by the rules

# Is highly overrated

# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

# They can't hold us back

# We'll make the most of every second

# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

# After all is said and done

# Shout, "One for all and all for fun!"

# Nothing's gonna bring us down today

# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

KIDS LAUGHING

TANNOY: Attention all students. A reminder that today we're putting

the "fun" into fundraising to raise enough money

to deal with the pigeon infestation.

SCREAMING

I've looked at several money-making ideas and in my impartial

and unbiased opinion the best one is Angel Face's Biscuit Bake Off.

Thanks, Daddy.

It's simple. We all bake cookies and sell them to raise money.

Huh! No way I'm baking biccies to help this dump of a school.

And whoever sells the most cookies will win all-day passes

to the new rollercoaster at Beanotown Fairground.

-Hey!

-Like I said, I'd do anything to help this dump of a school.

But we don't know anything about baking cookies.

True, we'll need some help.

And I know just who to ask.

Angel Face, I have a cookie-shaped career opportunity for you.

Join Team Walter and you'll get great experience for your CV,

a full benefits package, pension and holiday entitlement.

-And homework help.

-Mmm...

Throw in piggybacks to my lessons and you've got a deal.

-Bertie?

-Dudley?

-Huh...

Righto, hop on.

-Uhh.

-Giddy up!

-Righto.

-I have a counter offer.

Join us and we'll split the rollercoaster passes with you.

-I want half.

-No way! There's four of us.

-OK, two quarters.

-Done.

DUDLEY GROANS

Now, I've broken the recipe down into simple stages.

Dennis, you stir the mixture. Gnasher, grease the baking trays.

Gnash, gnash.

Curly, roll out the cookie dough. Pie Face, you cut them into shapes.

And I'll add the decorations. Now, let's get baking.

GNASHER SLURPS AND BURPS

Ha-ha! Looks like it passes the Gnasher taste test!

Cookie Crew, present cookies...

I give you the Walter Wafer.

HE GULPS

I give you the Menace Mouthful!

Gnash, gnash!

Oh-oh, Mum, we're selling cookies to raise money for the school.

-You're helping the school?! Why?

-To win free tickets

-for the new rollercoaster, of course.

-Well, that makes more sense.

OK, I'll take a box.

SHE GULPS

-Oh, oh, the decorations taste funny.

-Oh, those aren't decorations,

they're bits of Gnasher's fur.

-Gnash!

-Oh!

SHE SPITS OUT COOKIE

First satisfied customer. Let's get back to school and start selling.

Our Menace Mouthfuls are made with only the finest ingredients.

Then each one is lovingly topped off with sweetness and light.

And offered to you so we can support our beloved school.

-SOBS: Oh, I'll take a dozen boxes.

-Sold. Cash only.

Keep the line moving.

Ha-ha!

No-one can resist Angel Face's sales talk. Rollercoaster, here we come!

SINGING STARTS

# From the frozen north

# To the Straits of Gibraltar

# There's no snack better than

# The wafer from Walter! #

CHATTERING

Superb, superb!

Ahhh!

Thank you for choosing Walter Wafers, finest cookies in Beanotown!

Lookie here!

Cookie here!

# Sweet and crunchy after lunchie!

# Don't be doubtful Have a Menace Mouthful #

Gnash, gnash!

CHATTERING

-Time for Plan B.

-But, Walter, I thought the song was Plan B?

Time for Plan C, then.

CHATTERING

Read all about it - "The truth about Menace Mouthfuls."

CHATTERING

GASPING AND GAGGING

Wait! Come back!

Special offer - buy one and I won't menace you for a week.

Buy our biscuits, Daddy.

Er, sorry, Pumpkin, I'm buying Walter Wafers.

This leaflet says Menace Mouthfuls are made of cardboard,

sawdust and mouse droppings.

Outrageous!

Besides, only one of those things is true.

"This is what happened to me when I ate a Menace Mouthful"?

Right, two can play at that game.

Hello, Beanotown TV? Meet me at the school,

I've got a hot news story for you.

Ha-ha, OK, we need some lipstick, balloons and Curly's video camera.

We're here at Beanotown School where we were hoping to bring you

an exclusive story...but so far, all we've found is some pigeons.

PIGEON COOS

Shoo!

Oi, I've got your story here.

Just upload this video file.

PIGEON COOS

Oh, why not?

Ah, time for the Beanotown frog-hurdling finals

with a nice cup of tea and a bite of those delicious Walter Wafers.

Mmm...

-TV:

-We interrupt this programme to bring you an important message.

Hello, I am a proper doctor. Are you eating Walter Wafers?

-Uh-hm.

-Then you'd better watch out for these side effects.

-Dizziness.

-Gnaaash.

Strange squiggles on your face.

And finally...

BANG

If you don't want your head to explode...

buy Menace Mouthfuls, the cookies you can trust!

ALL: Ahhh!!

-Ha, we've completely sold out!

-But did we beat Walter?

Pie Face is on the case right now.

We sold 154 boxes before that news report of Dennis's

-scared off our business.

-Hmm, we've only got five left.

We have to sell them to be sure we beat Dennis.

-We've sold 158!

-Walter's sold 154.

CHEERING

But he's still trying to sell his last five boxes.

Oh, actually, four, cos I bought a box.

-They're really nice.

-It doesn't matter.

The only way anyone else would buy Walter's Wafers now

is if they don't have a TV and there's no-one in Beanotown

without a TV... Oh...except...

Oh, no, no, no, I never watch the entertainment square.

Rots the brain, don't you know.

Exactly! We know you're a man of taste and distinction.

That's why we rushed here with this exclusive offer

on our last remaining boxes of Walter's Wafers.

If Walter sells his last boxes, he wins.

You have to stall them while I make more cookies.

Oh, Colonel, I just happened to be passing

when I suddenly wanted to hear some of your brilliant war stories.

-Oh, really? Well, of course. My pleasure.

-It's so important

for our generation to listen to the wisdom of our elders,

don't you agree, Walter?

Yes, but if we could just finish our business first?

Don't be so impatient, young man! That's what's wrong with

the youngsters today. Now, during the siege of Sheddington Grouse

we waited 57 days, don't you know...

LAUGHING

A-ha, I put in loads of extra self-raising flour

to make them bake faster.

Yeah! Ah...

RUMBLING

Wow, that really was fast.

CLANGING

Oh-oh.

So I said, "Listen, Gregory. One of us has to wrestle these sharks

"and I think it should be you."

EXPLOSION AND RUMBLING

Hmm, what was that noise?

Er, probably your stomach rumbling. Hungry for some Walter Wafers?

Ah, yes, well, I suppose I'd better get on with buying them...

LOOK OUT!

SCREAMING

SCREAMING AND GROANING

Ha-ha, our mega Menace Mouthful has eaten the last Walter Wafers.

-It's a biscuit-eat-biscuit world.

-And you know what that means.

We win! We win!

CHEERING

Thanks to all the money raised by the Biscuit Bake Off,

this school is once again pigeon-free,

and the results are in.

In second place, it's Team Walter who sold 155 boxes.

But your winners with 158 boxes sold...

Team Dennis!

CHEERING

And here's your prize. Free passes to the new Beanotown rollercoaster.

CHEERING

What do you think happened to Team Walter?

Looks like they're on a rollercoaster ride of their own.

SCREAMING

LAUGHING

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd