The Way the Cookie Crumbles Dennis the Menace and Gnasher


The Way the Cookie Crumbles

It is fundraising time at Beanotown School, with a reward up for grabs for whoever sells the most homemade cookies.


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Transcript


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Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# After all is said and done

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# Shout, "One for all and all for fun!"

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# Nothing's gonna bring us down today

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# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

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KIDS LAUGHING

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TANNOY: Attention all students. A reminder that today we're putting

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the "fun" into fundraising to raise enough money

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to deal with the pigeon infestation.

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SCREAMING

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I've looked at several money-making ideas and in my impartial

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and unbiased opinion the best one is Angel Face's Biscuit Bake Off.

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Thanks, Daddy.

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It's simple. We all bake cookies and sell them to raise money.

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Huh! No way I'm baking biccies to help this dump of a school.

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And whoever sells the most cookies will win all-day passes

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to the new rollercoaster at Beanotown Fairground.

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-Hey!

-Like I said, I'd do anything to help this dump of a school.

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But we don't know anything about baking cookies.

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True, we'll need some help.

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And I know just who to ask.

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Angel Face, I have a cookie-shaped career opportunity for you.

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Join Team Walter and you'll get great experience for your CV,

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a full benefits package, pension and holiday entitlement.

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-And homework help.

-Mmm...

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Throw in piggybacks to my lessons and you've got a deal.

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-Bertie?

-Dudley?

-Huh...

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Righto, hop on.

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-Uhh.

-Giddy up!

-Righto.

-I have a counter offer.

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Join us and we'll split the rollercoaster passes with you.

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-I want half.

-No way! There's four of us.

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-OK, two quarters.

-Done.

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DUDLEY GROANS

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Now, I've broken the recipe down into simple stages.

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Dennis, you stir the mixture. Gnasher, grease the baking trays.

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Gnash, gnash.

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Curly, roll out the cookie dough. Pie Face, you cut them into shapes.

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And I'll add the decorations. Now, let's get baking.

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GNASHER SLURPS AND BURPS

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Ha-ha! Looks like it passes the Gnasher taste test!

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Cookie Crew, present cookies...

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I give you the Walter Wafer.

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HE GULPS

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I give you the Menace Mouthful!

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Gnash, gnash!

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Oh-oh, Mum, we're selling cookies to raise money for the school.

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-You're helping the school?! Why?

-To win free tickets

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-for the new rollercoaster, of course.

-Well, that makes more sense.

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OK, I'll take a box.

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SHE GULPS

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-Oh, oh, the decorations taste funny.

-Oh, those aren't decorations,

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they're bits of Gnasher's fur.

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-Gnash!

-Oh!

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SHE SPITS OUT COOKIE

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First satisfied customer. Let's get back to school and start selling.

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Our Menace Mouthfuls are made with only the finest ingredients.

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Then each one is lovingly topped off with sweetness and light.

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And offered to you so we can support our beloved school.

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-SOBS: Oh, I'll take a dozen boxes.

-Sold. Cash only.

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Keep the line moving.

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Ha-ha!

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No-one can resist Angel Face's sales talk. Rollercoaster, here we come!

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SINGING STARTS

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# From the frozen north

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# To the Straits of Gibraltar

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# There's no snack better than

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# The wafer from Walter! #

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CHATTERING

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Superb, superb!

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Ahhh!

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Thank you for choosing Walter Wafers, finest cookies in Beanotown!

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Lookie here!

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Cookie here!

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# Sweet and crunchy after lunchie!

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# Don't be doubtful Have a Menace Mouthful #

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Gnash, gnash!

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CHATTERING

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-Time for Plan B.

-But, Walter, I thought the song was Plan B?

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Time for Plan C, then.

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CHATTERING

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Read all about it - "The truth about Menace Mouthfuls."

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CHATTERING

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GASPING AND GAGGING

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Wait! Come back!

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Special offer - buy one and I won't menace you for a week.

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Buy our biscuits, Daddy.

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Er, sorry, Pumpkin, I'm buying Walter Wafers.

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This leaflet says Menace Mouthfuls are made of cardboard,

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sawdust and mouse droppings.

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Outrageous!

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Besides, only one of those things is true.

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"This is what happened to me when I ate a Menace Mouthful"?

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Right, two can play at that game.

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Hello, Beanotown TV? Meet me at the school,

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I've got a hot news story for you.

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Ha-ha, OK, we need some lipstick, balloons and Curly's video camera.

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We're here at Beanotown School where we were hoping to bring you

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an exclusive story...but so far, all we've found is some pigeons.

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PIGEON COOS

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Shoo!

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Oi, I've got your story here.

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Just upload this video file.

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PIGEON COOS

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Oh, why not?

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Ah, time for the Beanotown frog-hurdling finals

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with a nice cup of tea and a bite of those delicious Walter Wafers.

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Mmm...

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-TV:

-We interrupt this programme to bring you an important message.

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Hello, I am a proper doctor. Are you eating Walter Wafers?

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-Uh-hm.

-Then you'd better watch out for these side effects.

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-Dizziness.

-Gnaaash.

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Strange squiggles on your face.

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And finally...

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BANG

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If you don't want your head to explode...

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buy Menace Mouthfuls, the cookies you can trust!

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ALL: Ahhh!!

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-Ha, we've completely sold out!

-But did we beat Walter?

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Pie Face is on the case right now.

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We sold 154 boxes before that news report of Dennis's

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-scared off our business.

-Hmm, we've only got five left.

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We have to sell them to be sure we beat Dennis.

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-We've sold 158!

-Walter's sold 154.

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CHEERING

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But he's still trying to sell his last five boxes.

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Oh, actually, four, cos I bought a box.

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-They're really nice.

-It doesn't matter.

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The only way anyone else would buy Walter's Wafers now

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is if they don't have a TV and there's no-one in Beanotown

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without a TV... Oh...except...

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Oh, no, no, no, I never watch the entertainment square.

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Rots the brain, don't you know.

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Exactly! We know you're a man of taste and distinction.

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That's why we rushed here with this exclusive offer

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on our last remaining boxes of Walter's Wafers.

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If Walter sells his last boxes, he wins.

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You have to stall them while I make more cookies.

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Oh, Colonel, I just happened to be passing

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when I suddenly wanted to hear some of your brilliant war stories.

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-Oh, really? Well, of course. My pleasure.

-It's so important

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for our generation to listen to the wisdom of our elders,

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don't you agree, Walter?

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Yes, but if we could just finish our business first?

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Don't be so impatient, young man! That's what's wrong with

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the youngsters today. Now, during the siege of Sheddington Grouse

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we waited 57 days, don't you know...

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LAUGHING

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A-ha, I put in loads of extra self-raising flour

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to make them bake faster.

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Yeah! Ah...

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RUMBLING

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Wow, that really was fast.

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CLANGING

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Oh-oh.

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So I said, "Listen, Gregory. One of us has to wrestle these sharks

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"and I think it should be you."

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EXPLOSION AND RUMBLING

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Hmm, what was that noise?

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Er, probably your stomach rumbling. Hungry for some Walter Wafers?

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Ah, yes, well, I suppose I'd better get on with buying them...

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LOOK OUT!

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SCREAMING

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SCREAMING AND GROANING

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Ha-ha, our mega Menace Mouthful has eaten the last Walter Wafers.

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-It's a biscuit-eat-biscuit world.

-And you know what that means.

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We win! We win!

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CHEERING

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Thanks to all the money raised by the Biscuit Bake Off,

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this school is once again pigeon-free,

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and the results are in.

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In second place, it's Team Walter who sold 155 boxes.

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But your winners with 158 boxes sold...

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Team Dennis!

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CHEERING

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And here's your prize. Free passes to the new Beanotown rollercoaster.

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CHEERING

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What do you think happened to Team Walter?

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Looks like they're on a rollercoaster ride of their own.

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SCREAMING

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LAUGHING

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Dennis and his faithful hound Gnasher are out to make every day as much fun as possible, but their adventures often lead them into trouble.

It's fundraising time at Beanotown School - and there is a reward up for grabs for whoever sells the most homemade cookies. Naturally, this leads to all-out commercial warfare as Dennis and Angel Face take on Walter in the ultimate clash of the cookies. Who will take home the prize and who will take the biscuit?


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