The Way the Cookie Crumbles Dennis the Menace and Gnasher


The Way the Cookie Crumbles

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Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# After all is said and done

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# Shout, "One for all and all for fun!"

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# Nothing's gonna bring us down today

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# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

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KIDS LAUGHING

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TANNOY: Attention all students. A reminder that today we're putting

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the "fun" into fundraising to raise enough money

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to deal with the pigeon infestation.

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SCREAMING

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I've looked at several money-making ideas and in my impartial

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and unbiased opinion the best one is Angel Face's Biscuit Bake Off.

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Thanks, Daddy.

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It's simple. We all bake cookies and sell them to raise money.

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Huh! No way I'm baking biccies to help this dump of a school.

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And whoever sells the most cookies will win all-day passes

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to the new rollercoaster at Beanotown Fairground.

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-Hey!

-Like I said, I'd do anything to help this dump of a school.

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But we don't know anything about baking cookies.

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True, we'll need some help.

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And I know just who to ask.

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Angel Face, I have a cookie-shaped career opportunity for you.

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Join Team Walter and you'll get great experience for your CV,

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a full benefits package, pension and holiday entitlement.

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-And homework help.

-Mmm...

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Throw in piggybacks to my lessons and you've got a deal.

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-Bertie?

-Dudley?

-Huh...

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Righto, hop on.

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-Uhh.

-Giddy up!

-Righto.

-I have a counter offer.

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Join us and we'll split the rollercoaster passes with you.

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-I want half.

-No way! There's four of us.

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-OK, two quarters.

-Done.

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DUDLEY GROANS

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Now, I've broken the recipe down into simple stages.

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Dennis, you stir the mixture. Gnasher, grease the baking trays.

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Gnash, gnash.

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Curly, roll out the cookie dough. Pie Face, you cut them into shapes.

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And I'll add the decorations. Now, let's get baking.

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GNASHER SLURPS AND BURPS

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Ha-ha! Looks like it passes the Gnasher taste test!

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Cookie Crew, present cookies...

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I give you the Walter Wafer.

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HE GULPS

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I give you the Menace Mouthful!

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Gnash, gnash!

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Oh-oh, Mum, we're selling cookies to raise money for the school.

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-You're helping the school?! Why?

-To win free tickets

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-for the new rollercoaster, of course.

-Well, that makes more sense.

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OK, I'll take a box.

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SHE GULPS

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-Oh, oh, the decorations taste funny.

-Oh, those aren't decorations,

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they're bits of Gnasher's fur.

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-Gnash!

-Oh!

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SHE SPITS OUT COOKIE

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First satisfied customer. Let's get back to school and start selling.

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Our Menace Mouthfuls are made with only the finest ingredients.

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Then each one is lovingly topped off with sweetness and light.

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And offered to you so we can support our beloved school.

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-SOBS: Oh, I'll take a dozen boxes.

-Sold. Cash only.

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Keep the line moving.

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Ha-ha!

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No-one can resist Angel Face's sales talk. Rollercoaster, here we come!

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SINGING STARTS

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# From the frozen north

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# To the Straits of Gibraltar

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# There's no snack better than

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# The wafer from Walter! #

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CHATTERING

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Superb, superb!

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Ahhh!

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Thank you for choosing Walter Wafers, finest cookies in Beanotown!

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Lookie here!

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Cookie here!

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# Sweet and crunchy after lunchie!

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# Don't be doubtful Have a Menace Mouthful #

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Gnash, gnash!

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CHATTERING

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-Time for Plan B.

-But, Walter, I thought the song was Plan B?

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Time for Plan C, then.

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CHATTERING

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Read all about it - "The truth about Menace Mouthfuls."

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CHATTERING

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GASPING AND GAGGING

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Wait! Come back!

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Special offer - buy one and I won't menace you for a week.

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Buy our biscuits, Daddy.

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Er, sorry, Pumpkin, I'm buying Walter Wafers.

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This leaflet says Menace Mouthfuls are made of cardboard,

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sawdust and mouse droppings.

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Outrageous!

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Besides, only one of those things is true.

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"This is what happened to me when I ate a Menace Mouthful"?

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Right, two can play at that game.

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Hello, Beanotown TV? Meet me at the school,

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I've got a hot news story for you.

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Ha-ha, OK, we need some lipstick, balloons and Curly's video camera.

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We're here at Beanotown School where we were hoping to bring you

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an exclusive story...but so far, all we've found is some pigeons.

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PIGEON COOS

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Shoo!

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Oi, I've got your story here.

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Just upload this video file.

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PIGEON COOS

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Oh, why not?

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Ah, time for the Beanotown frog-hurdling finals

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with a nice cup of tea and a bite of those delicious Walter Wafers.

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Mmm...

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-TV:

-We interrupt this programme to bring you an important message.

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Hello, I am a proper doctor. Are you eating Walter Wafers?

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-Uh-hm.

-Then you'd better watch out for these side effects.

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-Dizziness.

-Gnaaash.

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Strange squiggles on your face.

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And finally...

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BANG

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If you don't want your head to explode...

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buy Menace Mouthfuls, the cookies you can trust!

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ALL: Ahhh!!

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-Ha, we've completely sold out!

-But did we beat Walter?

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Pie Face is on the case right now.

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We sold 154 boxes before that news report of Dennis's

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-scared off our business.

-Hmm, we've only got five left.

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We have to sell them to be sure we beat Dennis.

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-We've sold 158!

-Walter's sold 154.

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CHEERING

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But he's still trying to sell his last five boxes.

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Oh, actually, four, cos I bought a box.

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-They're really nice.

-It doesn't matter.

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The only way anyone else would buy Walter's Wafers now

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is if they don't have a TV and there's no-one in Beanotown

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without a TV... Oh...except...

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Oh, no, no, no, I never watch the entertainment square.

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Rots the brain, don't you know.

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Exactly! We know you're a man of taste and distinction.

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That's why we rushed here with this exclusive offer

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on our last remaining boxes of Walter's Wafers.

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If Walter sells his last boxes, he wins.

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You have to stall them while I make more cookies.

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Oh, Colonel, I just happened to be passing

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when I suddenly wanted to hear some of your brilliant war stories.

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-Oh, really? Well, of course. My pleasure.

-It's so important

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for our generation to listen to the wisdom of our elders,

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don't you agree, Walter?

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Yes, but if we could just finish our business first?

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Don't be so impatient, young man! That's what's wrong with

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the youngsters today. Now, during the siege of Sheddington Grouse

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we waited 57 days, don't you know...

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LAUGHING

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A-ha, I put in loads of extra self-raising flour

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to make them bake faster.

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Yeah! Ah...

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RUMBLING

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Wow, that really was fast.

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CLANGING

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Oh-oh.

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So I said, "Listen, Gregory. One of us has to wrestle these sharks

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"and I think it should be you."

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EXPLOSION AND RUMBLING

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Hmm, what was that noise?

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Er, probably your stomach rumbling. Hungry for some Walter Wafers?

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Ah, yes, well, I suppose I'd better get on with buying them...

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LOOK OUT!

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SCREAMING

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SCREAMING AND GROANING

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Ha-ha, our mega Menace Mouthful has eaten the last Walter Wafers.

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-It's a biscuit-eat-biscuit world.

-And you know what that means.

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We win! We win!

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CHEERING

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Thanks to all the money raised by the Biscuit Bake Off,

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this school is once again pigeon-free,

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and the results are in.

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In second place, it's Team Walter who sold 155 boxes.

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But your winners with 158 boxes sold...

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Team Dennis!

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CHEERING

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And here's your prize. Free passes to the new Beanotown rollercoaster.

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CHEERING

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What do you think happened to Team Walter?

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Looks like they're on a rollercoaster ride of their own.

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SCREAMING

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LAUGHING

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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