The Daily Menace Dennis the Menace and Gnasher


The Daily Menace

It's the Beanotown Cup Final and there's only one ticket left, but it's a press pass, so Dennis starts his own newspaper to compete with Walter.


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Transcript


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Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# After all is said and done

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# Shout, "One for all and all for fun!"

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# Nothing's gonna bring us down today

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# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

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Ah, the great outdoors.

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A world away from the hurly-burly of everyday life.

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I close my eyes... Ah.

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And when I open them...

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ZIPPING HE SCREAMS

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We're on.

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The Beanotown Cup Final, and we're almost front of the queue.

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HE LAUGHS

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Operation Golden Ticket is on course for a successful completion.

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Four tickets for the cup final, please.

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-Oh, sorry. Just sold my last tickets.

-What?!

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We'll do anything!

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Cut your lawn, polish your boots, shine your medals.

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Anything for those tickets.

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Oh, tempt me all you like, sunny Jim.

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The Colonel will never buckle.

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HE GROANS

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If you're trying to buy tickets, Walter, they've sold out.

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Oh, I'm not buying a ticket, Dennis.

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As Chief Reporter for the school paper, I get a press pass.

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THEY GASP

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So all we need is a press pass like Walter's and we're in.

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Oh, this is a menace made in heaven.

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Oh, no tickets left, love. Sorry. The match is a complete sell out.

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One press pass, please.

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There you go, the final press pass.

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Press pass, please.

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You?! Which paper do you write for?

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The Daily Menace.

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I've never heard of it.

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That's because it's...

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new and exclusive and only online.

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Well, this is the final press pass, and it's mine.

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You can't both have the final press pass.

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You're right. The final press pass should go to a deserving home...

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Meaning?

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Meaning...whoever gets the most readers by Saturday gets

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the final press pass into the match.

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Challenge accepted.

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May the best reporter win, Dennis.

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Sounds fair enough to me.

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Bertie, hold the presses.

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I have a new lead story for this afternoon's edition.

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Dennis the Menace - biggest loser in Beanotown.

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Meet me in the tree house in exactly 33 minutes and 22 seconds.

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We've got a newspaper to launch.

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HE LAUGHS

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Look at that, Gnasher, Dad's bottom's been given its own TV show.

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Dennis! I'm in your bedroom.

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Say hello to the Homework Spy 3000.

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The Homework what?

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-This little beauty will be keeping an eye on you at all times.

-Eh...right.

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-But...

-Ah, no buts, Dennis.

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Take a seat.

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Six months worth of homework to do, Dennis.

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Remember, if you're thinking of leaving your desk,

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the Homework Spy 3000 will be watching,

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which means I'll be watching.

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We have to meet Curly and Pie-Face in three minutes, Gnasher.

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This calls for a top drawer menace.

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Gnash, gnash!

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Look at that. No more sneaking behind my back.

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Pulling the wool over my eyes.

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Gnash, gnash, gnash. Gnash, gnash, gnash.

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It's all about using your head.

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Gnash, gnash, gnash.

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Gnash!

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Brilliant, Gnasher. Time for some menacing genius.

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BEEPING

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Right, I reckon I've got 20 seconds. Let's get to work.

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Oh, no, it's on the blink.

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The picture's come back, love.

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BOTH: Three, two, one.

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Curly, we need a website.

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One state-of-the-art website coming up.

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Great.

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Oh, with a fixed position navigation interface?

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Eh...sure.

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-And some CCS coding.

-Why not?

-Oh, I know -

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an intercalated design content management system

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that automatically generates astute SEO URLs

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to provide accurate metadata within a fully functional customised database?

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I don't know.

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Paul could help you out, Curly. He's got a knack for computers.

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OK. So now we've just got to post a story for people to read.

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But how will we know how many people are reading it?

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Well, when someone clicks on our website,

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it comes up as a hit on the screen.

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Exactly.

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What do hits make?

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BOTH: Press passes!

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OK.

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Let's make news.

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Right, Curly, bring in the bus.

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Here goes. A world exclusive.

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Double-decker bus found on moon!

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Our first big splash.

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How easy is this?!

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Dennis?

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Oh, no. Mum.

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A little something for you.

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Oh...thank you.

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HE GASPS

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That was close.

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Double-decker bus found on the moon!

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I can do better than that.

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Read all about it. Double-decker bus on the moon disappears.

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Here you go. There's a shilling.

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One more happy reader.

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By Jove, he's right! There is no double-decker bus on the moon.

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Wild animal in Beanotown Park.

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Wild animal captured.

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Treasure found in Beanotown.

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Free chocolate coin with school paper.

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Beanotown flooded.

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How I saved Beanotown from the floods - read my amazing story.

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Final reader figures are...

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Walter's paper - 485.

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But Daily Menace has 486 hits.

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-And today's Saturday, so...

-No school paper.

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ALL: # Here we go, here we go, here we go! #

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Walter just handed me this, but it's a bit rubbish.

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This puts the numbers exactly even.

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Walter gave me one especially for you too.

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See? Rubbish.

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HE GROANS

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I believe the press pass is mine, Dennis.

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Soon I'll be shaking hands with Beanotown United's finest.

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So Walter wants to shake hands, does he?

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Curly, I've just had a brilliant idea.

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That's him. Get him!

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SHOUTING

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What are you doing? Leave me alone!

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The Daily Menace big competition -

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be the first to shake Walter's hand and win a free subscription.

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500 extra hits.

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SCREAMING

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986 readers to Walter's 487.

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The press pass is ours.

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Congratulations.

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One press pass coming up.

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That's my press pass.

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No, it's not. We won it fair and square.

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HE GROANS

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Actually, I think it belongs to me.

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THEY GASP

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-DENNIS AND WALTER:

-Angel Face?

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Whoever has the biggest readership gets the press pass, yes?

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Have you read my magazine?

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Dennis Versus Walter - skulduggery, treachery, trickery...

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-Oh, and 5,000 readers.

-WALTER AND DENNIS:

-5,000!

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See you at the game.

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Or maybe not.

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# Here we go, here we go, here we go. #

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Oh.

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What have you been up to, Dennis?

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MUMBLING: Useless, load of rubbish.

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Still want to see the match, Gnasher?

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Gnash, gnash.

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Angel Face, have I got a deal for you?!

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Your press pass in exchange for...the Parent Spy 3000.

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Stay ahead of prying mums and dads with this state-of-the-art, revo...

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It's a deal.

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DENNIS LAUGHS

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Come on, United! Wahoo!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Dennis and his faithful hound Gnasher are out to make every day as much fun as possible, but their adventures often lead them into trouble.

It's the Beanotown Cup final, and there's only one ticket left - but it's a press pass. As chief reporter for the school paper, it looks like Walter will get it. Dennis starts a rival newspaper and issues a challenge - the owner of the most popular paper wins the pass. The menaces will have to pull their most elaborate pranks yet to outsell Walter and secure their place at the match.


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