I'll Teach You Dennis the Menace and Gnasher


I'll Teach You

After a pogo-stick palaver in gym class, Mrs Creecher decides Beanotown is not big enough for her and Dennis and calls it a day.


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Transcript


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Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# After all is said and done, shout

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# Fun for all and all for fun!

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# Nothing's going to bring us down today

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# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

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Come on, class, put some spring in your step!

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Did someone say spring?

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Oh!

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-Whoa!

-Yikes!

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I'm going up in the world.

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It's OK. It's just PE. You can handle this.

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Man down! Substitute!

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Argh!

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THEY YELL

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It's fine. Everything's fine.

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Strike!

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That...is...it!

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I've had ENOUGH!

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-What's going on?

-I'm going on!

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On holiday right now! Class dismissed!

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School as normal tomorrow, all of you.

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Oof! That's if I can find someone prepared to take you all.

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Just the essentials. Emergency marking pen, lucky board rubber. Ah!

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"The Beano Town Rest Home for Overstressed Teachers.

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"The perfect place to get back

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"to your rule-making, homework-setting best.

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"No children allowed."

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Sounds perfect!

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Oh!

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We need someone to look after the class and cope with Dennis.

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-You just need to know his little tricks.

-Exactly!

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Which gave me an idea. Listen.

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No pets! You know the rules!

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Bet our new teacher won't.

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Settle down and say hello to your new teacher.

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What?

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Hello, everyone, I'm Mrs...

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Oh, just call me Mum, like Dennis does.

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Unless he's had a nightmare, and then it's Mummykins. Aw!

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THEY LAUGH

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That was when I was three!

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Ha-ha-ha! Priceless!

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Oh, this is bad, Dennis. What are you going to do?

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Well, a teacher's a teacher. She might be my mum,

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but she'll still have to deal with the new teacher welcome pack.

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Oh! Look out, Miss...I mean, Mum! There's a...

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Don't worry, Walter, I've dealt with Dennis all me life.

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Curly, you're up.

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-Flowers, Miss Mum?

-Oh!

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See, I know all their tricks.

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Oh! Pie-Face, get me some pencils, please.

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Okey-doke, Miss Mum.

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N-o-o-o-o-o!

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Oh! Who put that there?

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Oh. Oh, yeah, I did. Oh! Itchy!

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At least let Gnasher stay. He can't be home alone.

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Oh, what a good idea. We need a class pet.

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THEY COO

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Right, gang, this means war!

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Right, safety goggles on, everyone.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Now, knowing Dennis, he's probably put ink on my goggle rims,

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which is why I've swapped his for mine.

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh! Where's Creecher when you need her?

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Ah!

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This is the life!

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Ah! Good to see you settling in.

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I'm Mr Cheddar, former headmaster and now rest home manager.

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Oh, it feels just like being at school.

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The perfect school.

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One without any children.

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"One times two is two, two times two is four.

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"Three times two is six, four times two is eight."

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Ah!

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All right, class, go and find some creepy-crawlies.

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If she wants creepy-crawlies, let's see how she likes this!

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SCREECHING

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Oh!

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Ah!

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Nice try, but you'll never get one over on Mum.

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She's not human!

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She's like an anti-prank machine!

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-Yes! Yes!

-I know!

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And write, two, three, four, wipe, two, three, four.

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Oh! It's nice not having to worry

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about turning my back on Dennis.

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Argh! Dennis! Where?!

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No! Where? Oh!

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Fingers on lips!

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We don't say the D word here.

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Half my guests are here because of...

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THEY GASP

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..him!

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It's OK, everyone, another hour of whiteboard yoga

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should calm us all down.

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Another hour?

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You're right. Let's make it two!

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And write, two, three, four.

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Goodbye, Miss Mum. Can I say, it's been a pleasure.

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A real education.

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And you smell so nice, too.

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I can't take another day of this!

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Can you take another day of this?

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In fact, have you ever thought about doing this full time?

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THEY YELL

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-We'll never menace again!

-We have to get Creecher back!

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Where from? We don't know where she is!

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Gnasher, find her scent!

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A home for overstressed teachers.

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It says no children allowed.

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Not a problem, Curly. Time for plan D and G.

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We look ridiculous!

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Exactly. Just like real teachers.

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Where's Gnasher?

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He's my teacher's pet, of course.

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WHISTLE

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So, we just stand here for 90 minutes?

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Of course not! That would be silly!

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-At half-time, we change ends.

-Oh!

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New arrivals. I should go and greet them. Carry on without me.

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Carry on what? What's the point without any children?

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Hang on. There's something very familiar about those teachers.

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Is this the rest home for overstressed teachers?

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Atchoo!

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He's so stressed, he sneezed his moustache off.

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Oh, happens all the time. Come on in.

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Take a seat in the staffroom.

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Oh! This is a funny-looking staffroom.

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Looks more like a confiscation cupboard.

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That's because it is a confiscation cupboard and you've been confiscated!

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Dopey disguises don't fool me.

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I've seen every trick in the book, twice!

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Now, sit nice and quietly while I call your parents.

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THEY GROAN

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Oh, we'll never get Creecher back!

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My mum's going to teach us for ever!

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There we are.

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Oh, you're looking grumpy, Denny-Wenny.

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Do you need Mummykins to burp you?

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LAUGHTER

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No!

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A-ha! I knew it!

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Just what we need(!) How many lines do we get for this, then, Miss?

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None! I'm breaking you out and I'm breaking out with you.

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-Eh?

-A school without kids isn't perfect, it's boring!

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At least you lot keep me on me toes.

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-Cool!

-Not so fast!

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No-one's ever walked out on me.

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You need another three months' detention!

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I mean, rest.

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We'll see about that!

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Eh? Miss?

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Desperate times call for desperate measures.

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Boys, let's take 'em down.

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Calm down! I can handle Dennis!

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Stop it! All of you!

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Fingers on lips!

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I'm in charge here! I'm not afraid of you!

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There's only one boy ever got the better of me, and he...

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Hello, Mr Cheddar. I'm here to pick up Dennis.

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..is right here. Argh!

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Great to see you, sir. It's been years.

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Wow! That's my patented two-man pie pump.

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The one you confiscated 20 years ago. I wonder if it still works.

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It does still work. Fingers on...!

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LAUGHTER

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Oops! May have got a bit carried away.

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Just go!

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All of you, dismissed!

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You heard him. Gangway!

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Shame to leave this.

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Now Creecher's back, Mum's off our case. Result!

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So let's give Creecher a proper welcome back.

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With your dad's two-man pie pump!

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Correction! With my three-man-and-one-dog pie pump.

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Genius wears a striped jumper.

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-Go!

-Nice try,

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but I'm confiscating that contraption for another 20 years.

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Oh! It's good to be back.

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It's good to have you back, Miss!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Dennis and his faithful hound Gnasher are out to make every day as much fun as possible, but their adventures often lead them into trouble. After a pogo-stick palaver in gym class, Mrs Creecher decides Beanotown is not big enough for her and Dennis and calls it a day. Surely a result for Dennis and his trusty pals - substitute teachers are always a pushover! Little does he know Mr De Testa has lined up the one person who Dennis can't outsmart - his very own mum! How can he possibly convince Mrs Creecher to come back? And will he ever live this down?


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