Episode 7 Disaster Chefs

Meet the Disaster Chefs. They're the parents who are rubbish at cooking.

Dinner, Charlie.

Argh!

They make things like this...

and this...and this!

Disgusting.

And foodie fanatic Stefan Gates is the only person who can help.

He's got just 24 hours to help them master a two-course meal

in a professional kitchen for some fierce critics.

Horrible.

Get cooking!

Will they raise like a souffle or flop like a pancake?

I've failed.

Will it be yum or yuck? Start your blenders!

Today's dreadful Disaster Chef is dad of two, Godfrey, from Suffolk.

Youngest son, ten-year-old Luke, is a rugby fanatic,

but the last thing he wants to do is tackle Dad's cooking!

Dinner's ready!

No-o-o-o!

Things are so bad that Luke has taken to lassoing his dad

to keep him out of the kitchen.

My dad is the worst chef of all time.

Dad doesn't agree.

I don't think I'm as bad as they suggest.

But he's wrong!

Things are so bad, Dad has been banned completely from the kitchen.

He cannot pass this golden line.

Since he blew up the microwave by wrapping the potato in tin foil,

we haven't allowed him in the kitchen.

And he's done even worse in his time!

Once, he put the pizza in the oven, with the packaging on it.

Don't you dare try and make those cute little animals eat that food!

Oh, it's horrific!

If my dad knew how to cook, it'd be a dream come true.

Instead of living in a nightmare.

Mostly importantly, Godfrey is ready to make a change in the kitchen.

I'm ready for the challenge now,

and I'm sure that when I look back I'll be going,

mmm, maybe I wasn't so much together as I thought I was.

But he's got a long way to go yet.

What this Disaster Chef dad doesn't know is that in 24 hours

he'll need to feed three secret judges restaurant standard food

in a professional kitchen a bit like this one.

What Luke needs is a top-notch food expert,

someone who can transform pitiful parents into capable cooks,

someone who really knows their onions.

That's Stanley. All right, Stan?

There's Neville. All right, Neville?

And that's your lot! It's a shallot!

It's like a type of... Forget it.

Stick to cooking, Stefan. Now get a move on!

-Hi, Stef. Come in.

-Thank you.

I hear that some crimes against food have gone on here.

-We don't really let him in the kitchen that much.

-Why?

He's blown up the microwave.

He burns pizza and he makes Yorkshire puddings

that don't even look like Yorkshire puddings.

What on earth is that?

Oh, they're a bit frightening. And they remind me of something.

It looks like, sort of, alien matter.

That's not cooking, that's a tragedy in a pan!

They're supposed to be Yorkshire puddings, not vomitshire puddings.

This is going to be a nightmare.

You're probably right.

So, Stefan's heard how bad Godfrey is,

and now it's time to find out for himself.

Godfrey has just five minutes to cook super simple

poached eggs on toast. Well, simple for most people, anyway.

It's the Rookie Challenge!

To make perfect poached eggs on toast, add vinegar

to swirling, boiling water and drop the egg in the middle.

Butter the toast, take the eggs out of the pan and place on top.

Exceptional!

-Starting...

-Three, two...

-Now!

KLAXON

Let's go!

So, Luke, is your dad any good at cooking poached eggs?

He's never cooked them.

Maybe that's why he's got the frying pan out.

It's actually poached eggs. I don't want fried eggs.

You get what I can do.

Good start. Godfrey's just making what he wants.

Stefan and Luke are taking reasonable precautions.

Quick, hide!

I don't know if it'll help.

We think it's a good idea.

He hasn't got a lot of time, but at least he's using a pot,

not a frying pan. It's a start.

-How's the toast today?

-One minute.

-Oh, it's... Oh, oh, no.

You haven't pushed it down.

It's not just the toaster that's not switched on.

59 seconds, Dad.

This is my worst nightmare. Oh, something's happening.

Well done. With the time almost up, the egg's finally cooking.

Three, two, one, zero.

No, I'm not playing.

Not playing? It's just a poached egg. Wait till Stefan has a go.

It's like somebody sneezed and the egg has been covered in snot.

Look at that, all completely raw.

Griselda, pass me the perfect poached eggs. Thank you very much.

There's nothing sloppy there. There's nothing dangerous.

It's cooked.

Awesome quality here, and just snot on toast over here.

Harsh, but true.

OK. Stay calm, Stef, stay calm.

Erm, I need to find an upside.

I need to find a reason for optimism.

Erm, things can only get better?

Well, it certainly can't get any worse.

Godfrey, congratulations.

You truly are a total and utter complete Disaster Chef.

But he's got a chance to turn that around.

In 24 hours he must cook two courses

for three mystery judges who'll then give his food a yum or a yuck.

Is he up for it?

-Think so.

-You think so. Are you up for the challenge, Godfrey?

-I am!

-OK!

That's encouraging. Godfrey doesn't get away that easily.

Go on, give him the hat, Stefan.

You look fantastic. I'd like you to clear this all up.

-We're going to work out what your menu's going to be. Let's go.

-See ya!

While Godfrey gets the kitchen sorted,

Stefan must put together the meal of Luke's dreams.

So, what kind of food would you love to eat?

I love king prawns, octopus and squid.

If you like that kind of food,

maybe a, sort of, Spanish theme menu would be a good idea.

Yeah, I think that's a pretty good idea.

How about we start off with a really good salsa?

Yum! Oh, wait, what's wrong with the picture? It's all fuzzy!

Salsa.

Absolutely delicious, got those herbs in there,

those beautiful fresh tomatoes.

I can read Stefan's mind now. It's usually empty.

-How about that?

-Yeah, I like the sound of salsa.

Me too. Da-da-da-da-da-da! Let's get our dance on!

Very stylish, Stefan.

Right, I've got a brilliant plan for the menu.

Let's go and get the ingredients.

So, after a quick trip to the market to pick up the food,

Stefan must knock up an amazing menu to impress both Luke and the judges.

Well, we've got some potatoes, red onions, honey.

-Red peppers.

-That'll be useful.

-And some fantastic mussels.

They're my favourite.

Time to put Godfrey out of his misery and show him the menu,

starting with the world's biggest bogey!

-Oh, my goodness.

-Do you know what these are?

-I think we've got half an octopus here or something.

-Nearly.

These are some delicious squid.

Do you cook with fish a lot?

-No, I haven't cooked with fish at all.

-Ever?

-Ever.

-Ever?

Hurrah! This is going to be brilliant.

You're going to be cooking...this.

For starters, a tip-top tapas selection of tortilla,

chorizo and crispy squid.

And for main course, perfect paella.

Do you think your dad will be able to pull this off?

If my dad could cook paella, dreams would come true.

What about your dreams of salsa?

Probably best that salsa's vanished from the menu after all.

With Stefan's reputation on the line, he's guiding Godfrey

-through how the meal should be done.

-Let's get cooking.

It's time for Stefan's Crash Course.

For the perfect tapas, mix salt, chilli, pepper, cornflour and flour.

Toss in the prepared squid and fry till crispy.

Soften sliced onions, potatoes, peppers, garlic, then season.

Add beaten eggs and thyme, then pop in the oven till firm.

Finally, fry onions, garlic and chorizo until browned.

Add vinegar and honey, then serve with parsley.

Remember, take care when cooking,

and always get permission from your adult.

Right, first thing, we need to separate the body from the legs.

And out comes all of the innards, you see?

Oh, eurrgh!

And then you get out any last bits of muck from the inside like that.

That's one damp squib, or should I say squid?

And then, we're going to skin it.

Has anyone else lost their appetite?

Then cut the legs off, OK. And we'll slice it off just there.

OK, did you get that?

-Yes.

-OK.

I've had my eyes closed.

So, body.

Body. And then we've got to pull this out first.

Skin to body. Skin, wings, head.

Yucky.

You read my mind, Luke.

The key to perfect squid is getting the oil temperature to 180 degrees,

otherwise it'll be too soggy or burnt.

Oh, look at that. Those are the tentacles.

-They look fantastic.

-Quality.

Tortilla's basically a Spanish omelette with onions and potatoes.

Let's hope he doesn't drop the ball here.

He shoots, and he scores! Let's look at that again.

FOOTBALL FANS ROAR

Shame it was a own goal.

What's he like?

And they need to cook as well as those onions.

Those herbs are mixed together in there,

and then just pour it all in.

Now, that will seep through. Remember to go back to it, OK?

The tragedy would be, you get distracted making something

in your paella, you come back and that's all burnt.

It might be quite funny.

No, sorry, it would be awful, you're right.

This is a tricky one.

I'm trying to work out whether Godfrey's doing brilliantly

or really badly, and there is a look of bewilderment in his eyes.

It's clear he hasn't really touched food before,

but you know what? Despite that, he's actually doing quite well.

-He might be able to pull it off.

-It's a long shot.

Although we may not have Spanish weather,

we can cook the main course in the garden.

For the perfect paella, brown the chicken then chorizo

and tip in a bowl. Fry the onions, pepper, garlic and paprika.

Stir in rice and bay leaves, then the brown chicken and chorizo.

Pour in stock with saffron and simmer for 15 minutes

before adding mussels, prawns, green beans, cover with foil and simmer.

Then add squid and parsley. Perfecto!

First thing you need to do is prepare you mussels.

-These are called beards.

-Is he making this up?

You need to gently pull them out of the mussel

and throw them away, OK?

Any of them that are open, give them a little tap on the side,

and if they don't close - see that one's closing now?

If they don't close, throw them away.

This is a big beard.

If mussels have beards, what will the chickens have? Moustaches?

-All they need to do...

-I'll keep my eye on it.

..is sear very gently.

-This has got quite a lot of heat from it.

-OK.

Monitoring the pan's temperature is super important.

Burnt paella will mean Godfrey's toast.

Come on, Luke, it's been a while

-since you've given us a little dance.

-Ole!

Yay!

Add some other ingredients. So, prawns, green beans,

chorizos, mussels. OK, over you come.

Gently slide them all in. There we go.

Go on, chuck 'em in!

OK, you can do it that way if you want.

Make sure they'll all nicely pushed down.

Foil over the top. Is this going to reach? Three minutes.

You know, this is my favourite dish of all time.

-Of all time?

-OK.

No pressure, then.

Mm, smells are good.

-Looks good, too.

-Yes, good!

Finally, presentation is key to impressing those judges.

And then one nice big fat one right in the middle,

sticking up in the air.

So what we want is really beautiful, clean plates,

so it's really vibrant sitting there in the middle.

That, my friend, is how your paella needs to look.

Can we have some?

Well, you've worked up an appetite dancing.

It's very lovely. Lovely jubbly.

He's impressed Luke. But that's all the help Godfrey's getting.

It's now less than 24 hours before he must make two courses

for three judges in a professional kitchen.

Well, that is it.

I've told him everything he needs to know to make

some absolutely delicious dishes. It's all down to Godfrey now.

24 hours ago, this culinary calamity was so bad at cooking

that his family banned him from his own kitchen.

He cannot pass this golden line.

Son Luke was so fed up with dad's cooking that he called in

food expert Stefan Gates to give his dad a crash course.

You haven't pushed it down.

Tomorrow he'll be in a professional kitchen just like this one.

Afterwards, three judges will reveal whether Godfrey's cooking

is yum or yuck and decide once and for all if he's a Disaster Chef.

The big day is here

and Godfrey is making his way to a posh paddock in Newmarket.

No, not to make his escape on horseback,

but to get ready to serve a slap up meal in the fancy restaurant.

There won't be any time for any horsing around,

as in just a few moments he'll be in the kitchen,

using all of those to turn all of these into this,

serving two amazing meals on the trot.

'Ello! Right, welcome to Godfrey's worst nightmare,

because in a few hours, here in this professional kitchen,

he'll be serving up the most delicious food he's ever cooked.

Otherwise our three distinguished judges will be wishing

they'd brought a packed lunch.

But to be a proper chef, you have to dress like one.

And Luke looks the part as the waiter.

Oh, very nice, Godfrey!

Oh, yes. You look absolutely brilliant.

Yeah, it looks lovely on you.

But you need to cook good, not look good.

-Godfrey, are you ready for the biggest challenge of your life?

-I am.

-Come on!

-Three, two, one, get cooking!

Firstly, he needs to rip apart the squid.

Now, I'm sorry, but I can't look at it, I can't look at it!

Tell me when it's all over. Oh, it sounds disgusting!

Oh, does it never stop?

He's remembered the plasticky spine.

Oh, he's still going.

At least he seems to remember what Stefan taught him.

And we're off!

He's got stuck into those squid and he's doing really well.

He's remembered everything I told him.

If he keeps this up, what could possibly go wrong?

A lot, Stefan. An awful lot.

Dad, remember the order.

Yeah, body, skin, wings, head, Luke.

Remember the last rule?

Oh. Don't panic.

No, the last rule is don't burn them.

There's no guarantees on that, but I think he's made a confident start.

The thing is, I should've washed it first.

Actually, maybe it wasn't such a confident start after all.

He needs to wash the squid thoroughly, otherwise it will

taste very salty, and he's spending too long fiddling with it.

Now, when you started, you just dived straight in,

ripped the skin off. I thought you were cracking on really fast.

But now you've spent half an hour fiddling with the squid.

What's happening?

I'm having problems getting the skin off.

That needs to come off, but I'm not...

-Can I give you a little, little tip?

-Yes.

We didn't take the skin off the head yesterday.

OK. All right.

30 minutes in and we're motoring now.

By 'motoring' I of course mean motoring like a snail.

I need a medium potato.

You need 200 grams of potato, so peel a couple,

then put them on the scales till you have enough. Simple.

155.

Wait, what's he doing?

Just put another potato in and cut the excess off.

Not one at a time!

That's 275 so that's no good.

Someone stop him! Cut it up!

You won't find a potato that weighs exactly 200 grams. No!

208. I'm going to go with the 208.

At last, it's the Goldilocks method of choosing potatoes.

"That one seems just right."

But he still has to peel it, so it might end up under 200 grams.

I need to somehow work these to the bottom.

And remember to keep mixing it, otherwise it'll burn.

That's a very busy pan,

and there are loads more ingredients still to go in.

Oh, those onions are cooking well. A bit too well, if you ask me!

Almost like they're burning.

Well, it's looking not quite like yesterday,

probably a little bit more brown than I would like, OK?

Brown? You mean brown that's actually black?

OK, get everything into that pan

and the pan into the oven for 15 minutes.

You're running out of time!

The judges will be arriving soon and expecting some top quality food.

While that's happening, it's time to fry up the chorizo and vegetables.

Just be careful with the heat, you don't want to burn it!

Gently. I would say that's more than gentle.

15 minutes later, the tortilla is just about ready.

And you know what? It looks good.

The chorizo, on the other hand...

Well it's ready, too,

or at least it was a few minutes ago.

Now it's a bit, shall we say, well done!

-Hello, Dad.

-Chop, chop, Godfrey.

-How was it?

-You look quite chilled out, so we thought what we'd do is

-we'd raise the temperature in here a little bit, OK?

-OK.

We reckon it's time to reveal who your judges are today.

Judge number one are winners of Britain's Got Talent,

Ashley Butler and performing pooch, Pudsey!

Since becoming an international megastar,

Pudsey demands only the best,

and owner Ashley is ready to give an honest verdict.

When I am judging I try and give a positive with a negative as well.

I'm sure if I don't like anything

I can just sneak it to Pudsey next to me.

I'm sure he won't mind.

HE YAPS

Judge number two is star of CBBC's Officially Amazing, Ben Shires.

He's witnessed people taking on incredible records

all over the world, but I doubt there's been anyone

quite as stressed as today's challenger.

I'm someone who likes good food. It's very simple.

So, if I don't like what he cooks for me,

I won't throw it at him, but I will throw a tantrum.

Judge number three is family friend Tony!

He'll be tasting Godfrey's cooking for the first time today.

Friendship aside, I shall be judging the food properly and honestly.

It doesn't matter that I know him.

I'm going to take it for what it is on the plate.

Tony's never tasted my food, so he could be a harsh critic.

That's a stellar line-up of judges, and they'll be hard to please.

Each judge will be asked to declare

whether they think Godfrey's cooking is yuck or yum.

He needs at least two yums to prove

he's no longer a disaster in the kitchen.

These are some of the biggest celebrities on TV.

If he impresses them, I will be over the moon.

You and me both!

The judges are here, but Godfrey's not ready to serve.

Paella takes a while to cook so he needs to get that started

before he serves up the starter.

Watch him go, he's just a blur.

Here we go. Four of these.

He's just a blur, I said. Come on, Godfrey, you need to get moving!

Who wants a bean?

Er, the judges do, but as part of a paella?

I think Stefan and Luke might need to help him here,

otherwise the judges will get nothing.

Oh, deary me. All of that early confidence

seems to have completely disappeared.

He's cooking so slowly!

I've got to get in there and he's got to get a move on.

Find the spot... Hi.

OK, you are clearly struggling really badly

because you've got less than ten minutes to get food on the table.

We have come to help.

This is a really tricky bit.

Godfrey needs to have both courses going at the same time.

There's a lot to remember, so hopefully,

with help from Luke and Stefan,

he might just get back on track.

I hope everything's prepped, otherwise we'll be in deep doo-doo.

What we now is a motivational speech.

Did I tell you not to open...?

That mussel could move quicker than Godfrey and that mussel has no legs.

Oil is up to temperature, we're just waiting for you.

Do you know what? That was absolutely brilliant,

but it was about ten times too slow.

It's spiralling out of control.

These need to get into the pan fast.

You need to keep all these balls up in the air at once now.

And don't burn anything.

Don't burn anything? Stefan, you're so demanding!

The judges are expecting their first course in the next few minutes.

They're blissfully unaware of the chaos in the kitchen.

We are way out of time. We're now ten minutes late.

So it's time for everything to go on the plate now.

It looks good, and the tortilla has a nice colour on it.

I know, it's just burnt.

Don't chuck it on the plate! You've done this so beautifully,

-don't ruin it now.

-Yeah, come on, Dad.

Come on, I know you can do this.

Godfrey had to make tip-top tapas selection of tortilla,

chorizo and crispy squid.

This is what it should look like.

And this is what Godfrey's looks like. Spot the difference?

Apart from presentation, Godfrey's version isn't too bad.

Fingers crossed the judges think so, too.

Ah, Luke, hi. Thank you.

Well, that certainly looks very nice.

-How do you feel?

-Exhausted.

-This is it.

-I'm going to try the sausage.

-That's not bad, actually.

The sausage smells really nice, actually.

It smells like a tortilla.

It's passed the smell test. But will they taste the burnt bits?

-Tortilla's really good!

-It is, isn't it?

First reactions from the judges are good, but what does Luke think?

Mm. Not that bad, actually, not bad at all.

Pudsey seems to like it, too.

But there's no time to think about that now,

because after the stress-fest that was the starter

the heat is on to make an amazing main course.

Now the stock.

Godfrey looks like a man on a mission, throwing everything

into the pan like he knows exactly what he's doing.

Because he does, right?

Well, maybe not, because that heat looks really high to me.

We've got a big, big problem here.

He's whacked up the heat underneath that paella,

and if he doesn't keep an eye on it and turn it down real soon,

he is going to burn that fella.

It's time for the main course.

Godfrey had to make perfect paella.

Now, perfect means there's no room for errors or burnt bits.

Dad... They've finished their starters

-and just the need the mains, please.

-Yes, sir.

That looks lovely.

Let's have a look, then. Have you burnt it?

Oh, that looks impressive.

Godfrey seems to have cooked a perfect paella.

Oh, look at that!

Let's get it onto plates and out to the judges.

Oh, hang on, what's that on the bottom of the pan?

Oh, it's burnt! Yuck!

Godfrey could be in trouble as this could really affect the taste.

No, no, no. It's got to go. Look at that, all that blackened...

This is all cinder here.

You put that in your mouth and just go, ah, it's disgusting!

Presentation is everything,

and Godfrey has prepared this like an expert.

Ah, Mr Prawn doesn't look happy there,

but it won't be long until that prawn's gone.

The judges have been waiting ages. This has to go out now!

Got people's mouths to feed here.

That's it, the paella is served.

I don't want to sound shellfish, but you've got one more prawn than me.

I know. I think mine actually looks better than yours.

Maybe that prawn's for Pudsey.

Arriba!

But it's all in the taste.

Ben's not spat it out...yet.

-Mm.

-Is it good?

-Bueno. It's really good.

-Well, here we go.

Good reaction from Ben, but is it the same in the kitchen?

What do we think?

I think those prawns are pretty much perfect.

I wouldn't expect it to be any better than that.

And Luke's chewing it over.

The rice is nice. It's not too dry.

-Mm.

-Quite tasty as well.

-It's nice.

What do you think of the squid?

Well, I picked it up and I was like, I didn't know what it was.

I think the squid is a little bit overdone, actually. It is chewy.

Oh, right.

I've had a few paellas before, and actually, this one,

compared to others, it's fresh flavours, it's nice.

The chicken's really nice. I haven't tackled my prawn yet.

Mixed reactions from the judges.

But does that mean it's a yuck or yum?

Luke's finally made up his mind.

What do you reckon?

Dad...

I...love it.

Result! That means it's time for the verdict!

This time yesterday, Godfrey couldn't poach an egg

and son Luke dreaded Dad's meals.

Things were so bad the family banned him completely

from setting foot in the kitchen.

Stefan stepped in and gave Godfrey a cookery crash course

with some weird looking food so he could make a slap up meal

in a professional kitchen for Ashley Butler and dancing doggy Pudsey,

the Officially Amazing Ben Shires and close friend Tony.

They'll determine whether Godfrey's cooking

is up to restaurant standard by judging it yum or yuck.

Two yucks and he's officially a Disaster Chef forever.

Two yums and he can finally be let loose in the kitchen again.

And Godfrey's friends and family have arrived to hear the verdict.

OK, Tony, please give us your verdict.

Tony gave positive feedback on the food earlier,

but he must decide whether it was up to restaurant standard.

Well, I think there was obviously a lot of effort that went in today.

But I did taste some mistakes.

Oh!

It's a yuck from Tony!

Godfrey failed to impress him

with his cooking as it was far from perfect.

This is your mate.

Just shows you, doesn't it.

One verdict in, two to go.

Next it's Ben, who earlier said the squid was overcooked.

Ben, your verdict, please.

Godfrey, you can take everything I say with a pinch of salt,

which unfortunately can't be said for your food,

which was full of the stuff.

Too much salt may have dashed Godfrey's hopes for a yum.

Having said that, you are a nourishment novice,

and I did enjoy it.

So for that reason...

CHEERING

Yes!

That's one yuck and one yum.

Godfrey's halfway between culinary success and kitchen failure.

It all comes down to the final judge, or should I say judges,

Ashley and Pudsey.

Ashley, all rests on you.

Your verdict, please.

Pudsey had a sniff of the food, but didn't look impressed.

What does he think?

So, Puds, what did you think of the food?

HE YAPS

Wow, some tough words from Pudsey there about the smell

and how it looks. But what about the taste?

Some of the food wasn't what I'd normally go for,

but, saying that, the food that I did eat I did really enjoy.

The menu wasn't to Ashley's taste.

Godfrey needs a yum, otherwise he'll have failed.

It's....

a yum.

THEY CHEER

Ashley and Pudsey have given him a yum, which means Godfrey did it!

He's officially no longer a Disaster Chef.

So, Luke, do the honours.

Well done.

For him to come out and cook starters and a main meal

I think it is pretty incredible.

I had nerves, but he did pull it off in the end, so hallelujah!

I really enjoyed the food.

In fact, I'm doing a little burp every so often.

I'm reliving it, delicious.

He thought it smelled nice,

but I don't think he was impressed that he couldn't taste it.

-Ah!

-I'm the chef.

-You're the chef.

I think this calls for another dance, don't you, Luke?

Wow, I can't believe it!

He's pulled it off!

There was a moment when I thought I'd set him

just too big a challenge, but, with a bit of flamboyance,

a bit of hard work, he's done it. And you know what this means?

It means that Luke can have his favourite dish cooked for him

by his dad whenever he wants.

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