Dial M for Murdo DIXI

Hey, it's Shari!

And...I'm still in shock from seeing Chloe in full plasma elf make-up

at that role-play thing after Syd's magic beans or whatever got stolen.

So, Chloe's back to being the number-one suspect,

which, by the way, I totally called the minute my Dixi got hacked,

but she ran off like Harry Styles was outside looking for a prom date,

and since then, no-one's seen her.

Well, someone probably has,

but there have been no new posts from the Lady Akhali account,

and ever since Friday, Chloe's been all 404.

I did make this incident page thing, which is pretty cool.

I need to bring in more people for questioning,

cos I can't see how this all fits together.

So, Chloe might have hacked Syd's game,

but she's also followed everywhere by Me Too Mimi,

who said she got hacked, till it turned out she did it herself,

but she just wanted a New Space invitation from Zane,

but then he's got hacked too, so it can't have been him,

which I never thought it was anyway.

Are those the eyes of a hacker?

Not that he had any problem thinking I'd get it just for vlog lols.

Not that I care what he thinks.

The point is now no-one's speaking to me.

DIAL TONE Oh, except Eve.

Eve!

Where have you been?

I've been texting you all weekend.

Yeah, I just got all 89 of them.

My phone died while I was at my dad's.

-Well, that's no excuse. I was worried.

-Sorry.

I forgot that in your world, anyone who doesn't

post where they are 12 times a day

has obviously been kidnapped by aliens.

-Good one.

-Yeah, I liked it.

So, what's up?

I've been following a new lead.

Chloe's...a secret gamer!

No...M...D.

I know!

So, I'm going to dig deeper and message Murdo.

What? Why?

Well, cos Syd won't help me and he still blames me

for his pretend swords being attacked.

No, I mean, why are you messaging Murdo?

Oh, because he's all techy.

He's got all the stuff on his page about

building computers and installing software.

The whole reason I started learning about programming and antivirus

software was because my little brother used my computer once.

Feels like a bit of a stretch.

All right, Sarah Jane, what's your idea?

Give up. Forget about it.

Move on with your life.

My life is on my Dixi page,

so not an option.

-I'm messaging Murdo.

-OK, whatever.

But make sure he knows it's about Dixi

otherwise he'll think it's a date.

It's not a date.

Of course not, but he might think it is,

so best just make it clear.

Why would he think it was a date?

I don't know, cos he's a boy and boys are stupid

and there's an even more stupid prom next week,

and I know he's not going with anyone.

Wait, do you want him to think it's a date?

No!

I thought you liked Zane.

Don't know where you're getting that from!

Anyway, it doesn't matter,

cos Zane's not even talking to me, cos he thinks

I'm some hidden camera drama queen.

Look, all I've said to Murdo is,

"Hey, do you want to meet at the cafe after school?

"I need to ask you something."

That doesn't sound anything like a date.

Sounds a little bit like a date.

No, it doesn't.

Oh, he's already replied.

What does he say?

"Cool, see you there."

"It's a date."

You're right, ApatiteLazyDog,

now I have two people who don't like me for the price of one.

Well, I'm about to dig deeper and question Murdo.

Hey, it's Shari.

I'm at the cafe, and Murdo will be here any minute.

Not for a date. It's not a date!

I'll let him down gently and then ask him

what he knows about what Chloe hacking Syd's game.

-Hey, Shari.

-Hey, Murdo.

This isn't part of that thing Zane was talking about, is it?

About you setting people up for some Dixi vlog prank?

Zane has got completely the wrong idea.

I just need to ask you something, but I couldn't do it at school.

That's OK. I think I know what this is about.

Great.

-It's about the prom, isn't it?

-What?

You wanted to ask me to go to the prom with you?

No. Why would you think that?

Cos in Citizenship,

you said how it was sexist that boys have to ask out girls.

Well, that is true, but no offence, why would I ask you to the prom?

Cos you said it was something you couldn't ask me in school,

-and you're acting all awkward.

-Er, I am now,

but just to be clear, I'm not asking you to the prom,

-and this is not a date.

-Oh, good.

I was worried you'd got the wrong idea.

-I don't have the wrong idea. You have the wrong idea.

-No, I don't.

When I asked you to meet me, you said, "It's a date."

That's just an expression.

Thank you. You know, that's what I said, but then Eve was all like,

"Ohh, he thinks it's a date."

-Wait, what's this got to do with Eve?

-Nothing.

-It's about Chloe.

-Does Chloe want to ask me to the prom?

No-one wants you ask you to the prom!

How are we doing over here? Aw, you're all shy cos you're on a date?

BOTH: It's not a date!

I'll just give you a minute.

I found out that Chloe's a gamer.

-Lady Akhali, yeah, she's wicked. Top plasma elf.

-Right.

Wait, how do you know? I thought this was like a massive secret.

Tell me about it.

I installed a new graphics card in her laptop, but she said that

if I told anyone about her gaming, she'd seriously damage my HP.

See, it's all coming together.

You know all the hacking that's been happening?

Someone also hacked my brother's game. If that was Chloe...

Nah, but it wasn't. That was Zane.

He was annoyed at Syd, because, well, because of you, really,

but he was just trolling him. He's given the stuff back now.

-How do you know?

-I sit behind him in Geography.

Your brother was all, "Give me my sword back!"

And Zane was all like, "You mad, bro?"

and they went on like that for ages, but now they're cool.

Anyway...

Speaking of swords, I've got to go. My fencing class starts in a bit.

But good luck with your...

Whatever this is.

Hi, Eve!

You know, he is obsessed with thinking people

want to ask him to the prom.

You know he actually tried to make out like I wanted to?

Even though it's obvious he's the one that's desperate for a date.

-I didn't think he was that into it.

-He was.

But it sounds like your Chloe gaming idea is a dead end,

unless Murdo did it as part of some plot to get you to ask him to prom.

OMD, that's it!

First me, then Chloe,

and he mentioned us both wanting to go to the prom with him.

-I was joking.

-No, it all fits, you know?

Like when boys pull your hair in primary school?

They show you they like you by being mean.

But I've got an idea.

We are going to fight fire...with fire!

Shari, I don't think you should do anything involving fire.

It's time to go nuclear!

-We are going to hit him...

-Shari!

-..on his page!

Oh...

That's right, OrangeChattyApricot it's all starting to fit.

Er, and sorry, IndigoSnowyGirl,

but I think I'd know if my bestie fancied someone.

And especially my prime suspect.

-Hey, it's Shari, and I was totally right. It was Murdo all along.

-What?

-What's he said?

-Nothing. Nada.

And I posted all over his Dixi page last night,

and he hasn't even denied it. He still hasn't posted anything.

-Check your phone.

-That doesn't mean he's guilty.

He probably just hasn't checked Dixi yet.

Some of us aren't obsessively on there 24-7.

OK, then let me present to you Exhibit D. Look around, Eve.

No, Murdo. He knows he's been found out, and he's lying low.

Why else wouldn't he be here?

"Go hang under a bridge with the other trolls." And this bit.

And I can't believe you said that. Shari, this is a bit full-on.

Yeah, cos it has to be. He'll only crack under pressure,

and the sooner he owns up,

the sooner everyone will see that I'm innocent,

and I can stop being a complete social leper.

Don't forget, you're the only person on this bus who's

still actually speaking to me.

-It's not that bad.

-Oh, really? SHARI CLEARS THROAT

Hey, Zane!

So, Zane's still a little bit mad.

Hi, Isla.

-Eve, can you tell Shari I'm not speaking to her?

-OK, yes, fine.

Isla isn't talking to you either.

And tell her that her weird Dixi obsession almost broke

the bond of our band.

Oh, Eve, can you tell her too that music is my life, so I can't have...

Isla, she's right there!

Yeah, but I'm not speaking to her!

Can't you take a message?

Isla, I'm so sorry I broke the band bond or whatever,

but I'm innocent, and I can prove it.

Zane got that message about hacker stuff,

and Murdo is a total geek with computers.

He like builds them and everything. It was totally him.

Not speaking means not listening, Shari!

Look, I know she's bonkers, and completely obsessed with Dixi

-and she does that weird owl thing with her face sometimes...

-Hey!

..but...that's why we love her, right? Right?

Er, by the way, Shari, I just wanted to say that

I'm not talking to you either.

Oh, right, yeah, OK, I'll try to survive.

Hey, is that a Lady Akhali badge?

From Syd's Orcs and Dorks game?

Mimi, since when have you been into gaming?

Since forever. I love gaming.

I've always been a massive plastic elf like Chloe,

but I didn't want to say anything until she updated her profile.

Listen up, noobs.

Today we fight, not for XP, not for gold, but for honour.

Eve, do you want a badge too?

Or...or I've got key rings on special offer? Beat the lunchtime rush?

Oh, I'll buy one!

Yeah... I reserve the right to refuse service to certain customers.

He hates me. Why, why did I have to suspect the only cute guy in school?

-He's not the only cute guy.

-You know, this is so typical.

If anyone else came out as a secret gamer, they would

get sent straight to Loserville.

"Do not pass go. Do not collect £200."

Chloe does it, and everyone's falling over themselves to buy gnome hats,

but I try to bring down a ruthless cyber killer,

risking everything for truth and justice, and I get social death!

She actually made elves cool. It's like black magic.

I need to clear my name. Has Murdo updated yet?

Oh, no!

What if this is all part of his strategy to take me to prom?

Maybe he thinks we're flirting. Maybe I should write something meaner.

I'm pretty sure this is not romantic.

-He's just flagged your posts as abusive.

-Abusive? Aha!

-I don't see how this is a good thing.

-No, this is perfect.

This means he's running scared.

We've got him.

He must be at registration.

-Oh, look, Murdo!

-Isn't that his dad?

-He's handing himself in, I knew it!

Shari Doyle!

Both of you, my office now!

And I'll take that.

Listen up, noobs.

Today we fight, not for XP, not for gold, but for honour.

Come at me if you dare. Lady Akhali will greet you with sword and steel.

When the elf blood rises, all others will bow down before us.

SOUNDS OF BATTLE