The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Daytime DIXI

Hi, and welcome to tech tips.

Today, I have in my possession a premium, two-terabyte,

portable, external hard drive.

180 hours of paper round has finally paid off.

This is worth around £100. But, to me, it's nearly priceless...

BANG!

Yeah, maybe Murdo isn't quite the tech wizard I thought he was.

Miss Johnson had some pretty strong views about that.

Hey, it's Shari, and I've got my phone back.

Mwah! That's it for good news.

Otherwise, chalk this up as one of the most traumatic days of my life.

Your life? What about the innocent bystander

who was dragged into all of this?

For the billionth time, I'm sorry.

Turns out, Murdo's dad saw my posts and he called up the school.

Told Miss Johnson I was a cyber bully. Me(!)

And when I tried to explain...

-(IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE)

-Miss Johnson, please...

It's not what you think.

-(DEEPER VOICE)

-Do you know what I think, Shari Doyle?

You do not deserve the internet. You are a disgrace to this school.

As if!

That would have actually been interesting.

We got a six-hour lecture on letting ourselves down and responsible

online communities and we had to sign respect pledges(!)

OK, it still felt awful. She acted like I'd done this terrible thing.

Like I was the internet Voldermort. Done.

On the upside, Murdo seemed pretty cool about it.

He must feel bad about his dad kicking off.

He's sent you, like, 400 sorry messages, hasn't he?

Which is weird, he must think I've been banned

from Dixi or something, cos I don't have any from him.

I think I want to go more punk to prom...if I even go.

Want me to have a go with this lot?

-Don't bother, I'm probably not going either.

-Whoa(!)

Oh, what's the point, if everyone's ignoring me?

Everyone thinks I'm this horrible person now.

I just want my page back.

DIAL TONE

Oh, it's Isla.

Shari, are you OK?

Isla, are you speaking to me again?

I'm speaking to you right now.

She means actually speaking, not literally speaking.

She means, are you still mad at her?

The opposite.

I'm so, so sorry, Shari.

-It's all been totally my bad.

-Seriously?!

Yay!

I mean, you were so wrong, obviously.

And I should probably be mad, but, yay!

-Besties?

-Besties!

As soon as I saw it, I knew.

You're so brave, Shari.

Well, you know me. I can handle Miss J.

Oh, not Miss Johnson - the whole dog thing. I'd be in bits.

You're inspirational.

I'm going to write a song about you. Maybe an X Factor power ballad.

Wait! What dog thing?

Oh, hang on. Message.

It's...

It's from me.

The killer's using my old account to send ME a message.

Argh, that's so out of order!

"Woof, woof".

What does that mean?

Shari, don't freak out, but you should go and look outside.

OK, officially freaking out!

Go with her!

Wait, take me with you.

Shari, what...?

OMD.

I'm here for you, Shari.

They're everywhere.

Someone's put them everywhere.

Thanks, guys. This is really hard to take.

Hey, it's Eve.

The hacker has put up posters that say lost dog,

with a picture of Shari underneath it, everywhere.

It's really mean and Shari's really upset.

I don't think there's going to be an update from her today

or maybe ever again.

LAUGHTER

-BOYS:

-Oi, Shari, looking good, Shari!

Woof, woof, woof!

How many more can there be?

Oh, no, please. Quick, let's go.

-Oh, no, not another one.

-Don't worry, Shari, we'll take it down.

I'm really sorry, Shari.

This is horrible.

Thanks, Mimi.

'I think we got most of them down.'

But everyone's already seen them.

You, Isla, Chloe,

my brother, Miss Johnston,

Zane, my mum.

It's just so horrible and it's out there in the real world.

Everyone's talking about it, about me.

This isn't just Dixi now.

Oh, some hacker must really hate me and I don't even know who they are.

I'm not sure I can carry on with this any more.

I am so sorry I ever doubted you.

Thanks.

Oh, I'm so sorry that Zane quit your band all because of me.

It's OK.

-Artists struggle.

-Oh, he must think I'm a total loser.

'Who cares what he thinks?'

I do.

-I said I didn't, but I do.

-I knew it.

'Yeah, we all knew it,

'but he doesn't think you're a loser.

'No-one does.'

Oh, someone does.

Shari, you'll find out who did this, I know it.

Don't give up now.

'She's right. You are doing so well.'

You thought my investigation was stupid.

-'No, I didn't.'

-You did.

You said that I was helping the idiotic culture

of over-sharing information on the web

that was ruining our doomed generation.

You said that on Dixi.

'Oh, I was probably just trying to sound impressive.'

That does sound impressive.

'It doesn't matter what I said.

'You are my best friend and I'd don't want to see you get hurt any more.'

Would it help if I wrote a song about all of this?

'Hold on, Shari,

'your Dixi murders page has got a new message.

'This whole thing is bigger than we thought. It's The Vamps!'

-ALL:

-Hey, Shari, it's The Vamps here.

We know what it feels like to be picked on,

so we wanted to send you this video, to let you know that bullying

is not OK, whether it is online, in real life or wherever.

So, Shari, keep your head held up high

and keep on doing what you're doing.

I know, VioletTwirlingGoose, best Dixi message ever.

I am so, so happy

and blown away that The Vamps

left me that message.

So happy that, for a little while, I did this.

# Baby, can we dance? #

Sorry, but the feet don't lie.

Those dog posters were horrible

and The Vamps made me feel like I wasn't on my own

and now I am back on the hunt.

Oh, and something else massive happened today.

Actually, massive isn't a big enough word.

More like ginormous.

This is a day of ginormous events.

I should probably just show you what happened.

I know they are still out there.

The Dixi murderer could be anyone.

It could be her

or him

or...

..her.

-So, you are back on the case.

-Yes.

I am not going to let the haters bring me down.

I'm going to rise above it. I'm going to...

Carry on with your massive obsession?

This morning, you were like, "Oh, don't give up, Shari.

"Don't be so upset."

And you didn't give up and now you aren't so upset,

so I can go back to making sarcastic comments.

-Thanks.

-You're welcome.

So, those lost dog posters.

I mean, I know they were horrible, but they were also a massive clue.

Maybe we are looking for someone with special photo software

or a lot of paper.

You aren't rising above anything, are you?

You're going deeper and deeper...

Deeper into a mine of clues.

I am a clue miner.

What's wrong with Mimi?

Why is she heading back into school?

She doesn't go to chess club, does she?

No-one goes to chess club!

I go to chess club.

She's heading to Miss Johnston's office. Quick.

She's got her phone in her hand.

She must know something about the Dixi killer. It has to be connected.

You're jumping to conclusions.

Shari, you are doing massive star-jumps to conclusions.

Whoa!

Shari.

-What are you doing?

-Shari, you can stop your investigation now.

The mystery has been solved.

I did it.

I just confessed.

I'm the Dixi murderer.

Hey, it's Shari and this is how to play chess.

# How to play chess! #

The first thing you need to know is the pieces.

This is the Queen.

It's the most powerful piece and can move all over the board.

It's basically the Chloe of chess.

Right, Queen Chloe. Got it.

What are these little backing singer ones?

Those are pawns, the least powerful piece.

Their job is to protect the Queen.

So, Mimi?

What about this one?

That's obviously a horsey.

It's not a horsey, it's a knight.

Ah. Right! Zane.

This is a bishop.

Well, that'll be you, then.

Why am I the bishop?

You're just, kind of, bishopy.

Whatever. This is a rook.

-It can only move in straight lines.

-Murdo.

-Good shout.

So, which one would I be, then?

You're not even on the board.

THEY LAUGH